This is the thread where we post insane and/or disturbing Dave Sim quotes.

That's...uh, special. Or something.

From The Onion:

The Onion: If you could send one message to the children of the world, what would it be?

Dave Sim: "Don't make the mistake of believing that because you weren't punished immediately for a sin that there is no God or that sin goes unpunished. If you steal or lie or blaspheme against Him, God isn't going to hit you with a lightning bolt or turn you into a pillar of salt. He will give you space and time to repent. In some cases, that will be years. But ultimately, if you don't repent, you will be punished. When you see miserably unhappy adults who punish themselves with alcohol and unhappy relationships and who are filled with so much fear and hatred that it makes you afraid to think of being with them or being like them, they didn't get that way overnight. Somewhere, long ago, when they were your age, they intentionally did something wrong and decided, because they weren't hit with a lightning bolt, that they had 'gotten away with it.' Look at them. Do you think they 'got away with it'? And that's only in this world. Imagine what they're going to experience in the next world. Do the things that are right and don't do things that are wrong. You know the difference."

Yes... you did something wrong, crack baby - IN THE WOMB!! You LIED to the placenta and now GOD IS TAKING REVENGE.

Wow, I didn't realise that the couple of pints I had last night was me punishing myself for cheating in that test when I was 10. I REPENT! I REPENT!

There's a lesson to be learned here, folks - MALT LIQUOR ONLY!

Tangent III to thread.

Here's another corker:

"Truth to tell, having walked out on my parents I don't miss them any more than I miss my placenta. It seems to me an apt analogy. Yes, it was something I needed at one time. I'm much bigger now. I don't need it. Even if you could present it to me preserved since 1956, I'd hardly be interested in carrying it around with me or keeping it in my fridge or reattaching it. And it seems clear to me that that was their attitude toward me as well."

He proceeds this with some guff about disowning his parents because he didn't want to 'enable' his mother's alcoholism. Reading between the lines, it's pretty clear that he was just too cowardly to deal with his mother's illness.

All this after he claims to have figured out the Unified Theory which eluded Einstien. The only reason his face hasn't been all over the news, of course, is because of the Marxist-feminisit conspiracy to keep him down. Nothing to do with the fact he clearly HASN'T figured out the Unified Theory which eluded Einstien.

Sometimes, Dave Sim quotes are eerily similar to this guy...
http://www.qwantz.com/comics/comic2-407-2.png

From somewhere in #298

"1: My God 2: Scripture 3: Prayer 4: Fasting 5: Reading the National Post 6: Not going out 7: Not talking to anyone (apart from amiable chit-cat with store clerks and waitresses.) The 7-step guide to a satisfying life in Canada's feminist dictatorship."