Greatest Readers Letters Of All Time

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1. Letter of complaint to Doom Patrol after a disembodied brain cops off with a gorilla, because both are male.

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 24 September 2004 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

2. Letters to 2000AD claiming that first-born child has been named Sam Slade, Slaine, Tharg etc. (Subject of much pub talk between myself and Mr Fluro to the point that I can't remember which if any were real.)

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 24 September 2004 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

3. Series of letters to HATE! demanding that Lisa gets a stern over-the-knee spanking.

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 24 September 2004 15:18 (twenty-one years ago)

haha

I know there have been some good ones from the Invisibles and Preacher columns, I'll try to remember.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 24 September 2004 15:19 (twenty-one years ago)

WORST readers letters of all time: Anything in Sandman featuring a poem.

― Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 24 September 2004 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Thankyou Wooden!!

4. Letter to X-Men in form of a poem which began "what has become / of our sick world?"

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 24 September 2004 15:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I think the ones after GM encouraged all of his readers to think about magic sigils while having orgasms in order to keep the Invisibles from getting cancelled were pretty funny.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 24 September 2004 15:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I suspect the Internet has killed the comics letters column as it offers a much greater expanse of space for the use of madmen, and no pesky sub-editors cutting out the nine pages of continuity explanation.

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 24 September 2004 15:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, I really miss my letters pages, especially ones edited by GM or Garth Ennis.

― Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 24 September 2004 15:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought I felt the same way, but there was a letters page in the last issue of Runaways and Vaughan mentioned that they usually didn't run letters in order to include an extra page of comic. I'll take more story pages than letters any day (well, depending on the comic, I guess).

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 24 September 2004 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, but around the same time as Vertigo dropped the letters page, the story pages in their titles dropped from 24 to 22.

― Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 24 September 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

5. Some issue of Swamp Thing where some creator (Trina Robbins?) wrote in re: a one-issue story about a female werewolf & discussed the implications of the story; the letter was followed w/ a repsonse from Alan Moore explaining his position.

Sadly, the only place to get fucked up letter action nowadays is in _Powers_. A few Marvel books are giving up ad space for letter again, but, even then, there's only enough room for one column of letters on a 3-column page (because of the one column of THIS MONTH pimping, and the half-column of responses, and the half-column taken up by the cover to next month's exciting story).

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 24 September 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

DC has got a pretty weak letters col on their website.

― Huk-L, Friday, 24 September 2004 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Subthread: has anyone here ever written to a letters column?

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 24 September 2004 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I bet Martin has!

― Huk-L, Friday, 24 September 2004 15:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I haven't, but my girlfriend has a letter in an old Claremont X-Men issue, I believe.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 24 September 2004 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I sent a few drawings of Judge Dredd off to 2000AD. Tharg didn't deem them zarjaz enough to print, though.

― Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 24 September 2004 15:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to regularly as some kind of good karma thing, and to balance out the oozing sore of negativity that is the internet.

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 24 September 2004 15:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I wrote a couple of fan letters to Grant Morrison's website. One of 'em even got printed. It's embarassing stuff.

― Matt Maxwell (Matt M.), Friday, 24 September 2004 15:58 (twenty-one years ago)

"I named my child Helm. Do I win a KTT?"

I got a letter in 2000AD once, which I sent off via intermail while heavily drunk at 3 in the morning.

― Vic Fluro, Friday, 24 September 2004 19:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I got a letter published in DV8 (I believe it was issue #3).

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 September 2004 19:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I had a letter published in Doom Patrol. It was about why Crazy Jane needed a spanking. The saucy minx.

― Tom (Groke), Saturday, 25 September 2004 06:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I actually wrote a letter for the Finnish print of X-Men, and it got published! I really can't remember what it was about, I was like 13 then.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Saturday, 25 September 2004 08:19 (twenty-one years ago)

The letters page in Powers is terrible, though. It makes BMB seems infinitely punchable.

The last Grant Morrison Doom Patrol does announce long term letter writer Rachel Pollock as the next writer, and includes her last two letters, one going "Hey, can I write Doom Patrol after Grant? I'd be really good. Make it so, or accidents might happen" and one going "Sorry about that. I've already told my mom I was writing it, can you make it happen?". In retropsect they were probably fake.

Was Charles J. Sperling THE Letterwriter?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Saturday, 25 September 2004 09:54 (twenty-one years ago)

i had a letter published in the Beano when i was 8. i asked Gnasher for some of his hair as i wanted some unbreakable guitar strings.

― zappi (joni), Saturday, 25 September 2004 21:31 (twenty-one years ago)

In honor of the 30th anniversary of the Brady Bunch or whatever it is, my mother has reminded me that when I was first learning to write, I wrote a fan letter to Barry Williams, who played Greg. (I think the letter was in its entirety: "Dear Barry Williams, You play Greg Brady. My name is Bill.")

― Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 25 September 2004 21:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I found the letter I wrote to DV8 last night. It's possibly the most erudite comic book fanboy letter ever written.

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 20:40 (twenty-one years ago)

POST.

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 20:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Please tell me you used it as your writing sample to get into Harvard. That would be awesome.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 21:00 (twenty-one years ago)

it was always refreshing to see critical letters in Bone - especially considering all the "you are the reincarnation of Carl Barks/Will Eisner I read your stuff to my kids every night god bless you Jeff oh I could KISS you etc" stuff that got in there - but I can only remember two (though there were probably more after I stopped reading it). the first one was in one of the first issues, it was from someone from Spumco saying "nice artwork, shame about the cutesy story though." the other one was right after the big revelation about Thorn's identity, when someone wrote in to say "come on, how cliched can you get?" I rather agreed.

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 22:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I've been waiting ages for someone else on this board to find Bone twee as fuck.

― Wooden (Wooden), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 22:33 (twenty-one years ago)

spumco = Ren & Stimpy

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

3. Series of letters to HATE! demanding that Lisa gets a stern over-the-knee spanking.

these were all from cartoonist (and homeless San Francisco nutbag) Bruce N. Duncan. I think Bagge might have run some of his stuff in Weirdo.

― kit brash (kit brash), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 03:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Wooden there is a fairly big anti-Bone contingent. I think it's rub.

― Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 08:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Please tell me you used it as your writing sample to get into Harvard. That would be awesome.

Haha. Um. I'd kind of already graduated from college when I wrote it.

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 08:29 (twenty-one years ago)

DV8,

Every now and then I peek out of my little X-Men world[1] and look at other titles that pop up in my local comic book store. I'd known for a while that Warren Ellis was planning on leaving Excalibur and heard that he would be doing some work for WildStorm on Stormwatch and a new spin-off of Gen13 called DV8. What can I say, I'm a fan, so I picked up DV8 #1 (Sloth cover)[2] when it came out.

Brrrr.

Creepy, amoral, overpowered teens in the hands of a ruthless woman who wants to use them to advance her selfish goals. How could I not love it?

I hadn't been a regular Gen13 reader, so I knew nothing about the Deviants. I didn't know that the would be such strong anti-heroes. I wasn't prepared for how mind-bogglingly cool they were.[3]

DC8 #2 expands upon these troubled teens. You've shown us that there are lines that even these kids aren't willing to cross. Underneath their "tough" exteriors, Frostbite, Evo, and Sublime have some strong convictions that they won't betray. We've seen why Bliss uses sex as a weapon. We're seeing these kids, despite their protestations that they aren't a team and they aren't heroes, coming together despite themselves.[4] Their justice is harsh, yet deserved, and there are hints that they won't let Ivana them around like trained dogs for too long. Warren Ellis has created a very interesting group in this title, and Humberto Ramos' art makes them leap off the page.[5] Thoroughly enjoyable stuff. I can't wait to learn more.

Dan Perry

Footnotes (not in the original letter):

[1] At the time I was spending something like $35 a week on X-books. Oh I long for the days of disposable income.

[2] aka "the one with the black guy on the cover".

[3] And they were! I didn't even mention Copycat, aka the coolest fictional character ever.

[4] Seriously, the first four issues are really, REALLY good. Ellis does dysfunctional antihero very well.

[5] At least the titties leapt of the page. Looking back, this was really the beginning of the end for Ramos; he seems to have decided that the female body didn't look right without gravitationally-suspect F-cups.

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 08:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Man, you shoulda had the footnotes too! But yes, that's a pretty serious letter. (I couldn't remember when DV8 came out.)

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 12:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I had a letter published in 2000AD once, pointing out an error in the captioning of Doctor Who related picture.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

the most embarrassing readers letter ever was to "Warrior" and by James Wallis.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

the connie lingus correspondence in cerebus. which i can't actually remember clearly but think involved a lot of nerdboy comicfans trying to hide their erections coz theres a hot and kinky girl here!

― gaz (gaz), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 21:36 (twenty-one years ago)

who kept sending photos of her cleavage to be printed with the letters. or even without. it was the Warren Ellis Forum/camgirl phenomenon of the 1980s.

― kit brash (kit brash), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 23:43 (twenty-one years ago)

DV can you reprint the most embarrassing readers letter ever please?

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 30 September 2004 10:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd have to dig up the issue of Warrior and retype it. And maybe it is only the most embarrassing because I know James Wallis. but it is pretty bad. I remember reading it and thinking "what a plonker", and when years later I got to know James Wallis and went back and re-read it, I thought "Blimey". Mr Wallis says in his defence that he was 12 at the time.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 30 September 2004 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I wrote a letter to the London Review of Books about "Union Jack Jackson" once.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Friday, 1 October 2004 08:06 (twenty-one years ago)

eight months pass...

DV, if not retype, could you at least tell us wot it was all about, then?

I also want that full X-Men poem.

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Sunday, 19 June 2005 21:54 (twenty years ago)

(please)

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Sunday, 19 June 2005 22:39 (twenty years ago)

The revelation of silent anti-Bone majority makes Baby Leeeeee cry.

― Leeeeee (Leee), Sunday, 19 June 2005 23:40 (twenty years ago)

I had a letter in an early issue of Love and Rockets where I sounded far too much like the snobby teenaged tit that I was

― Andrew exL, Monday, 20 June 2005 06:17 (twenty years ago)

A lot of the letters to Milligan's X-Force/X-Statix were classic, especially as the series went on and the level of crazed tenaciousness required on the part of the "fans" who kept buying something they hated and writing in to complain about it. One of them featured the memorable phrase "the new hip hop, political correctness, latest fashion buzz" to describe the perceived motivations behind Milligan daring to include teh blacks and teh gays - I promptly stole it.

― Flyboy (Flyboy), Monday, 20 June 2005 08:44 (twenty years ago)

I had a letters published in Shade the Changing Man and the Marvel UK edition of the Punisher.

My sister also read Shade and I was petrified she'd notice it. It's a little silly.

― Chuck_Tatum (Chuck_Tatum), Monday, 20 June 2005 15:03 (twenty years ago)

"What is Mulch?" --- C/D?

― Chuck_Tatum (Chuck_Tatum), Monday, 20 June 2005 15:04 (twenty years ago)

X-Men #28, second series. I knew that praising Andy Kubert (whom I loathed) would get my letter printed. I learned a harsh lesson about pride and betrayal that day. Sometimes I wonder if Kubert would be as ubiquitous had I showed some restraint. Then I cry a little.

― Madolan, Monday, 20 June 2005 17:38 (twenty years ago)

The X-Men poem is in an alan davis issue from the 80s, the one where Psylocke joins and fights Sabretooth. People with extensive X-Men collections can find it and then typing it out will be on their conscience.

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:44 (twenty years ago)

OMG I have that issue at my parents' house.

Imagine that phone conversation! "Dad, you know that box of comic books you were asking me about? Can you dig through that for Uncanny X-Men #214? Got it? Okay, can you flip to the letters page at the end? Do you see a poem there? TYPE THAT SHIT UP AND EMAIL IT TO ME K THX BYE"

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 20 June 2005 18:49 (twenty years ago)

The greatest LOC I can recall is from an issue of "GI Joe" in which the writer describes watching his friend put himself in a "phoenix" ninja hybernation in which his heart rate slows to 5 beats a minute--just like Snake Eyes does.
The writer struck a variety of tones, from conspiratorial winking to sheer awe and delight at the ninja prowess of his buddy. He also identified himself as a marine at the conclusion of the letter.
Of course, being 10, I took the whole thing to be god's truth. After all, it was in print.

― Sparkle Motion's Rising Force, Tuesday, 21 June 2005 19:12 (twenty years ago)

http://img77.echo.cx/img77/8234/letterspage5ns.jpg

― brian braindeath (badwords), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 19:42 (twenty years ago)

Wow.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 19:46 (twenty years ago)

DV, if not retype, could you at least tell us wot it was all about, then?

the letter proved that V from V For Vendetta was in FACT Eveleyn Cream from Marvelman. It used capitalised words like FACT a lot.

I had a great letter in 2000AD once, pointing out that they'd misnamed a Dr Who assistant in a reprinted photo from "The Wheel In Space"

― DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 22:30 (twenty years ago)

I will see if Maddie's extensive X-Men archive can produce the X-poem.

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 22:58 (twenty years ago)

One of my favorites was a Marvel Zombie who wrote to Cat Yronwode re: her CBG column -- a long, long rant against her for criticising Jim Shooter -- and her only response was "Jim, could you call this guy off? He's putting a run in my pantyhose."

I guess you had to be there.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 00:17 (twenty years ago)

"What is Mulch?" --- C/D?

I had a letter printed in Groo the Wanderer once!

― Occam, Wednesday, 22 June 2005 00:44 (twenty years ago)

Re: Gaz's note above: about seven years ago, I was set up on a blind date with a woman who had, years before, been... Connie Lingus!

― Douglas (Douglas), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 06:15 (twenty years ago)

did you give her name back?

― kit brash (kit brash), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 14:03 (twenty years ago)

"The letter proved that V from V For Vendetta was in FACT Eveleyn Cream from Marvelman. It used capitalised words like FACT a lot."

I remember this letter! I didn't write it tho'.

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 22:35 (twenty years ago)

*AHEM*

From Uncanny X-Men #213 (only one issue off, Dan!):

What has become
Of our sick world.
The world has become a time bomb.
As the superpowers stockpile
The weapons of war.
And prepare to meet on the battlefield.
The armchair generals shouting
Threats at each other across the ocean.
While the soldiers in the field
Fake bravery
So they can protect their
Macho images.
Although they are quaking in their boots.
Fighting an enemy
Who is so only because
They are told.

-Anonymous

― Madolan, Wednesday, 22 June 2005 22:59 (twenty years ago)

I sure hope none of you has Preacher #...I forget. Maybe 7 or so handy.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Thursday, 23 June 2005 03:11 (twenty years ago)

Blimey, I'm very glad that I asked, now!

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Thursday, 23 June 2005 08:10 (twenty years ago)

I think I spent Years 22 through 24 unknowingly writing and rewriting that poem.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 23 June 2005 12:59 (twenty years ago)

Re: Gaz's note above: about seven years ago, I was set up on a blind date with a woman who had, years before, been... Connie Lingus!
-- Douglas (ilxo...), June 22nd, 2005.

whoah, douglas...spill beans.

― mullygrubbr (bulbs), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:33 (twenty years ago)

The x-men poem takes the cake.

― Leon C. (Ex Leon), Friday, 24 June 2005 12:05 (twenty years ago)

(only one issue off, Dan!)

ARGH. Wait, why am I upset that I got that wrong?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 June 2005 12:21 (twenty years ago)

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