Fanboy Gutchecks

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Last week, when I cheated on my Local Comic Shop and traveled to another, much better place, I encounted a peculiar fellow. He, like me, was dressed in business-casual wear (button-down shirt, slacks) and looked to be a professional - heavy set, balding, wearing specs, but otherwise presentable. And then he went to pay for his goodies, and he opened his mouth, and this adenoidal voice emerged. And it wasn't the voice so much as what he chatted about with the relatively disinterested store clerk:

1) the employment of various types of Kryptonite in Smallville v. the employement of various types of Kryptonite in the comics (cf. "I mean BLACK KRYPTONITE? There wasn't any BLACK KRYPTONITE in the comics? What's Jeph Loeb (Smallville consultant) trying to pull here, huh?"

2) John Cassady's homage / photo copy of the cover to Uncanny X-Men #141 (AKA the cover w/ an older Logan & Kitty spotlit in front of a poster of DEAD or CAPTURED mutants) - "Wooow. You know, if John Cassaday drew like this more often, I might *chortle* actually like his work."

3) referring to the actress playing Lois Lane on Smallville a "hot one" or a "hot babe" or "a fine piece of sirloin" or some uncomfortable expression of fanboy attraction that brought to mind unsavory images of bundled tissues and bottles of lotion and dissheveled copies of The Marvel Universe Swimsuit Spectacular and Penthouse Comix.

4) discussing at length the logicistics of a Superman v. Dr. Doom (or SOMEBODY) battle (vis a vis some dopey Wizard A VS B article, no doubt) in that stultifying Usenet webboard manner.

I won't lie to you; I questioned my faith at this point & time, and gave a long thought to leaving my $75 pile of goodies on top of a long box and leaving the store and going home and burning my books. Clearly, I didn't.

But have there been moments, dear reader, where YOUR faith was tested? Have you ever come across an individual or a scenario that embodied every dark, decrepit thing you loathe about the world of graphic sequential narratives? Did you ever face down this dark doppleganger of deception and dorkitude and turn 4 shades of white and feel the blossom of fear open its wet fleshy petals within your heart? SOUND OFF, CADETS!

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 16:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to work in Forbidden Planet. There'd be at least one instance of this kind of thing a day, and many many middle-aged, BO ridden, socially inept visions of comic- fandom-gone-wrong. It's the legions of well adjusted, witty, interesting people who happen to have a passion for comics that make me keep the faith - like the good folk on ILC. Ah, you guys.

― Wooden (Wooden), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 17:13 (twenty-one years ago)

It's telling, thought, that the 1 of the 4 incidents that irked me the most was the assertion that John Cassaday's art is no good! I mean COME ON FOUR EYES put down the Spider-Girl and TAKE A LOOK!

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 17:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I did recently join in with a discussion at my local comic shop's counter about the correct pronounciation of 'Xavier'. It's ZAVIER, Mr. Singer, not fucking X-AVIER!

― Wooden (Wooden), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 17:18 (twenty-one years ago)

This is one of those things that's really varied by where I live and where I shop -- the best thing about Bloomington other than the bacon is the weirdly cool, normal, down-to-earthness about the guys at the comic store. I haven't witnessed any strange fanboy behavior there, although there have been a couple instances of Collector Types In Suits coming in all out of breath (again, the parking problem, have I harped enough about the parking problem?) looking for Youngblood #12 or Marvel Premiere with the first appearance of Tigra, or etc.

Behavior Types #s 1 and 2 in David's list are the ones that set my hackles up the fastest, because comics fans seem to internalize that "being a fan means hating stuff" bullshit at such a young age that it seems more common than in a lot of other interest fields.

xpost; that one's not Singer's fault, Wooden! Stan Lee actually says it's X-avier. I think it's dumb too.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

If it was pronounced Z-avier, they'd probably be the Z-Men.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 17:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I've always figured Stan had only seen the name in print when he used it, and had never heard it but needed a name that started with X.

(It also made me wonder if -- like my friend who insisted on X-avier -- Stan pronounced Rogue as "Roozh" and Magneto as "ma-GENT-oh.")

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 17:38 (twenty-one years ago)

"Why is Rogue called Rogue? She's wearing GREEN!"

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 17:53 (twenty-one years ago)

The comics section of my least favourite place to buy, but formerly most convenient shared with the gaming section, and, uh, smelly geeks ahoy! Of both genders and a few in between!

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 6 October 2004 18:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Speaking of smelly geeks, clearly ILC has shown that it's everything Wooden just credited us with, to have been so active today despite Britney's panties being up for auction.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Why you calling Britney a geek?

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 19:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear God. DELETE HUMANITY (and Brit's wedding panties).

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 19:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm guessing that auction never makes it to the consummation.

― Matt Maxwell (Matt M.), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 19:58 (twenty-one years ago)

She drinks Red Bull!

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

lots of superhero music on my radio show tonight.

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 6 October 2004 20:03 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost; that one's not Singer's fault, Wooden! Stan Lee actually says it's X-avier. I think it's dumb too.

it has to be X-avier. I mean, it's not as though you just made a Z-post.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 20:19 (twenty-one years ago)

For some reason most Finnish comic fans are more likely to appear as hippies or goths than nerds. Also, there are quite a lot of female comic fans and artists here, I'd say maybe 30% of them all. From what I've read in American comics that take place in comic stores or conventions, it seems like it's quite different there.

David's story reminds me of an episode of the "Downtown" animated series that was on MTV, I'm not sure if anyone's seen it. In it the nerdish protagonist (can't remember his name) goes to a comic con; he sees the one plastic monster figure that's missing from his collection on sale, and he tries to grab it because it's the last one. But this 50-year old balding comic geek with a bad posture tries to grab it too, and they end up battling for the monster. Suddenly the protagonist sees an image of himself as a fifty-year old geek desperately craving for plastic figures. He then gives the toy to old guy, saying: "Take it. You need it more than I do."

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 7 October 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Most of the guys that go to the comic shop in my town are all right. But, I think the "comic type" of guy is pretty much the same across the county: the Hero-clix, D&D, HackMaster, etc etc, comic guys. Fortunately for me, they guys around here are pretty funny and drink beer so I can over-look all the HackMaster shit.

On any given Wednesday afternoon (or, whenever your "delivery day" is), take a photo of everyone in the shop. Compare with other pictures taken on delivery day in different towns. It's all the same guys, isn't it?

― Vermont Girl (Vermont Girl), Thursday, 7 October 2004 17:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, and I just recently saw Season 1 of Smallville on DVD. Love: Lex Luthor. Hate: Mr. Kent. I know he's Bo Duke but all this lines/deliveries are the worst of the father-type cliches (e.g. "Look son, I know with these powers you want to protect people, but it's your mother's and my job to protect you... Oh yeah, and I don't want you playing football... And go do your chores... Stop hanging with Lex... Bitch, bitch, bitch.")

― Vermont Girl (Vermont Girl), Thursday, 7 October 2004 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

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