Top 100 Worst Plot Twists [SPOILERS LIKELY]

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incorporating "Top 100 feeblest excuses for awful plotting"

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:06 (twenty-one years ago)

1. (ALPHA FLIGHT #50) Northstar doesn't have AIDS, oh no! It's a mysterious disease that Loki gave him. Because Loki knows that Northstar is secretly... an elf!

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)

2. (Many many examples) The villain's plan is rubbish you say? Well it is rubbish on purpose to show how MAD he is!!!

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:08 (twenty-one years ago)

3. (Ubiquitous) "Yes I shall tell you who is behind everything, it is - URK!" "He-he's dead!" "Yes. Our foe is more cunning than I thought."

(I have a sneaking delight in this one to be honest.)

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:13 (twenty-one years ago)

4. The end of THE MEAN TEAM, perhaps the worst story ever to appear in 2000AD. The Mean Team have found the secret monster that is causing technology on Earth not to work but wait!! they must think of the MAGIC PHRASE that is its only vulnerability. Said magic phrase turns out to be...."MEAN TEAM"! The beast dies and technology returns, in the form of a spaceship which kills all the Mean Team on the last panel.

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:18 (twenty-one years ago)

5. The (non-Teen) Titans "Wildebeest" story that turned out EXACTLY like the Judas Contract!

― Huk-L, Monday, 18 October 2004 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

6. Bone - beautiful farm girl Thorn turns out to be a princess. Yawn.

― Wooden (Wooden), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

7. FERAL KILLED HER MOTHER OMG WHO SAW THAT COMING??????? (ans: everyone)

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:56 (twenty-one years ago)

8. "But little beknownst to our colourful heroes, their old foe (insert name here) is very much alive, and plotting their destruction as they speak!"

― Wooden (Wooden), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:57 (twenty-one years ago)

(For me personally because I was not steeped in non-X Marvel lore)

9. The Thundebolts are THE MASTERS OF EVIL!!!!! OMGWTF? (No seriously, who the hell are the Masters of Evil and why is this shocking?)

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:59 (twenty-one years ago)

10. Monarch isn't Captain Atom, it's, uh, who's had their series cancelled recently, uh, hum, and, um, really doesn't figure into the DCU at all...Hawk, you know, from Hawk and Dove, they were created by Steve Ditko and uh, were sort of associated with the Teen Titans, and, uh, one of them hates war, and the other hates peace!

― Huk-L, Monday, 18 October 2004 17:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Addendum to #9 (from a bonafide Marvel geek): The Masters of Evil : The Avengers :: Brotherhood of Evil Mutants : X-Men. They were baaaaad folks (once spent 7 issues squatting in Avengers Mansion, beating the crap out of manservant Jarvis, put Hercules in a coma, wrecked all sorts of stuff, bent Captain America's old shield OH NO), and this revelation, on the heels of their rep, WAS a pretty big deal. Especially with Baron Zemo (NAZI! from Captain America's glory days) at the head of it all. But, then, it's a revelation that only hits hard if you're a bonafide geek aware of this sort of stuff.

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 18 October 2004 17:07 (twenty-one years ago)

11) The Hate-Mongerer is HITLER! Or a CLONE of Hitler! Or MULTIPLE CLONES of Hitler! Watch out for his HATE-RAY!

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 18 October 2004 17:08 (twenty-one years ago)

12) Johnny Storm, we've replaced the Alicia Masters you've been boffing w/ a SKRULL name LYJA LAZERFIST! How you like them apples?

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 18 October 2004 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

13. Wasnt' that HORRIBLE? Good thing it was all AN AWFUL DREAM!

― Matt Maxwell (Matt M.), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 02:46 (twenty-one years ago)

14. Hulk - A STORY THAT WILL MAKE YOU ANGRY. "Oh that poor girl was gunned down at the abortion clinic and her father is... um... hiring me to kill the shooter... OH MY LORD HE'S SPEEDFREEK!! Yes Speedfreek." This is SHOCKING mainly because everyone thought that character would be buried for all of time.

― Vic Fluro, Tuesday, 19 October 2004 02:56 (twenty-one years ago)

15. Aunt May was not dead after all. She was just a clone or something (in Spider-Man for christsake) created by Norman Osborne to piss off Peter Parker. Yes, that's the Norman Osborne who isn't dead. Or was it Mysterio. I forget, for obvious reasons.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 08:31 (twenty-one years ago)

16. "MAGNETO - you're ALIVE after ALL!!"

― Vic Fluro, Tuesday, 19 October 2004 09:02 (twenty-one years ago)

17. "Yeah Professor X that was an imposter. Funny how the Chinese healer guy he made up had a real life counterpart too though HUH???"

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 09:06 (twenty-one years ago)

18. "It is I, Dave Sim, your creator, who thought of this twist in 1977. Honest."

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 09:08 (twenty-one years ago)

19. "All women are whores. Let me expound on this theory."

― Vic Fluro, Tuesday, 19 October 2004 12:04 (twenty-one years ago)

20) You mean to tell me that Secretary of Defense DELL RUSK was actually ... THE RED SKULL???? I would have never guessed that, in an arc titled "RED SKIES", THE RED SKULL would be the villain!!!!

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 12:46 (twenty-one years ago)

21) A brief dialogue:

NIGHTCRAWLER: Your momma, liebchen.
MYSTIQUE: No, YOUR momma, Furbie.
NIGHTCRAWLER: Ach!
MYSTIQUE: Be happy I wasn't your daddy!
NIGHTCRAWLER: Ach!
MYSTIQUE: Claremont was going to have me BAMF! Destiny!
NIGHTCRAWLER: Oh, well. At least I'm not demon spawn.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 12:51 (twenty-one years ago)

22. "Choke! X-Men - it seems THIS villain can CORRUPT heroes and make them his MIND CONTROL SLAVES! Obviously, as we've NEVER ENCOUNTERED SUCH A FOE BEFORE we are helpless. Especially seeing as we're all tied up. Oo er."

― Vic Fluro, Tuesday, 19 October 2004 12:56 (twenty-one years ago)

23) A brief dialogue:

AZAZEL (red demon dude): Come to daddy!
NIGHTCRAWLER: Oh, for the love of FUCK!

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 13:01 (twenty-one years ago)

24. "Hey, Nightcrawler, remember when you were a priest? THAT WAS ALL A MEMORY IMPLANT."

(A Chuck Austen special as well, I'm fairly sure...)

― Vic Fluro, Tuesday, 19 October 2004 13:04 (twenty-one years ago)

25. XORN! IS! MAGNETO! (or maybe not)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 13:09 (twenty-one years ago)

25) = 17), Dan!

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 13:11 (twenty-one years ago)

A few issues after 24:

25: The pontiff of the Church of Humanity's plan to discredit the Catholic Church by installing Nightcrawler (under an image inducer) as The Pope, then revealing him during the rapture. Not the real rapture, obviously, but a fake one that they'll simulate using communion wafers that they've modified to disintegrate people. Bonus points for the use of the concepts "Rapture" and "Catholic" in the same plan.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

But Dave, IT'S THAT BAD.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

The parenthetical part is really lame. I still really love the first bit.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 13:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Andrew, I almost thought you were talking about the Nightcrawler-as-Pope twist, & not the (fuck yeah it's great!) Xorn-as-Magneto twist.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha yes "god what a great twist! The Pope! And then they had to spoil it all by using that crummy image inducer!"

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

26) Parallax wasn't Hal Jordan, it was really...uh, whatever it turns out to be. I'm bracing myself for lametitude though.

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:14 (twenty-one years ago)

If we can do that, can I nominate the end of Identity Crisis?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd like to nominate X-Men: The End in its entirety.

― Vic Fluro, Tuesday, 19 October 2004 15:04 (twenty-one years ago)

27) BATCUNT IN THE SIXTIES: Oh I see Batman, you were only pretending to be dead, married, turned into a monster to fool the villain. Never mind it traumatising your young ward. Oh no, just being the usual Batcunt as per.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 15:18 (twenty-one years ago)

28. This reminds me of the brilliant-but-awful Bob Haney super-sons story where Supes doesn't want his kid to get too bashed about despite the fact that he's gone to arrest a 99-year-old man. So he grabs the road they're on and whips it like a bullwhip - AND THIS CREATES A DUPLICATE CITY!! THROUGH SCIENCE!! It's like a mirage or something. The whole thing's on the web if you want to go find it. Anyway, due to, um, something, the 99-year-old gangsta becomes a sprightly, lively nemesis, so poor thinking there Supes.

― Vic Fluro, Tuesday, 19 October 2004 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

29) (As reminded by the lousy characters thread) You don't want to attack Earth oh mighty all powerful Skrulls. Look, they have all these monsters lingin there. Yes, they are real photos. I know the shoulders look a bit blocky, but everyone on Earth look like they are drawn by Jack Kirby. Everyone. Even my girlfirend Sue.

Even your all powerful super-skrull would be powerless against PLANKO the LIVING FOUR BY EIGHT.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Was Red Skull ever connected to the Skrulls?

30) http://www.popcultureshock.com/viewer.php?type=reviews&id=3468&p=1

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 19 October 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

God almighty look at the size of Deadshot's packet!

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 15:42 (twenty-one years ago)

31. "REED... IS.... DEAD!! REALLY!!!!!!"

― Vic Fluro, Tuesday, 19 October 2004 16:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Holy crap, Newsarama has three different Identity Crisis pages!
http://newsarama.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=19836

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 19 October 2004 17:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha ha!

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

32: (Tintin et al) Oh no, the vicuous savages are going to sacrifice us at 12 O'Clock EXACTLY tomorrow. What are we going to do.

Twelve O'Clock you say. Captain Haddock, do you remember what time the newspapaer said that solar eclipse would be tomorrow...

(Considering solar eclipses asre SO rare the perenial reoccurance of this plotline in childrens fiction in general is shocking).

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 08:48 (twenty-one years ago)

i disagree ptee: it is a perennial triumph for the magical kingdom of the imagination

tho it wd def be funnier if the eclipse began except then the moon turned out to have a giant hole in the miggle and we cut to the witch doctor w.big scissors

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 09:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Use other imaginations please. I found it in an obscure Blyton book this year (excised from the canon by its racism I daresay) plus the various and sundry 19th C kid lit pop ups (Midshimpman Easy I think amongst others). I always like the way it is supposed to show the superior learning of the Westerners, even though things like planetary cycles and the like is often one of the few scientific bits of knowledge that so-called primitive tribes have sussed (especially in South American HERGE!)

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 09:54 (twenty-one years ago)

The Secret Mountain!

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 10:10 (twenty-one years ago)

pete together we must write the definitive counter-plot to this, where the wily cannibals defeat (and indeed consume) the bold explorers by their vastly superior knowledge of real actual science

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 10:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Isn't it also in A Yankee's adventure in King Arthur's Court?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 10:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 5 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

It's a MAGIC RING THAT CAN DO ANYTHING. I think whether it would realistically work or not is a moot point.

Whether the plot works or not is a different matter.

― Vic Fluro, Wednesday, 20 October 2004 22:34 (twenty-one years ago)

You really can't make it a moot point when vast and recent arcs of Green Lantern have been dedicated to it NOT being a moot point, though, magic ring or not. That's like saying "he's the Hulk, of course he's strong and stupid!" in the wake of one of the no-he-isn't arcs.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 22:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Fair point.

I suppose addressing the question of whether the story would have been improved by putting in continuity band-aids raises the further question of whether the story was needed at all, which is always tricky ground with a character piece based on decades-old stories...

― Vic Fluro, Thursday, 21 October 2004 01:57 (twenty-one years ago)

36. Tintin is tied to the tracks in front of a speeding train...fortuneately someone pulls the emergency stop cord just before it reaches him! Tintin falls into into a huge meat-grinding machine...lucky old Tintin, the workers go on strike moments before the gears have a chace to grind his body to pulp! Tintin is thrown into Lake Michigan with a dumbbell tied to his leg...great snakes, the dumbbell turns out to be made from balsa wood! (All from 'Tintin in America')

those sound awesome!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 21 October 2004 02:59 (twenty-one years ago)

nb, when I suggest that Meltzer read some comics, I don't mean it in a continuity-goof sort of way, he's mostly pretty ace on that, just in his interviews he seems to be of the opinion that he's the first guy to try to saddle DC (or any) superheroes with real-world issues.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 21 October 2004 04:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I guess it's sort of like "how come Flash's yellow boots never broke through GL's space bubbles, killing the entire JL of A?"
Because that wouldn't be as much fun as if what wasn't supposed to work did work. (I'm totally psyched to see Oliver Queen use the ring!)

― Huk-L, Thursday, 21 October 2004 04:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Thing is, you say that now, but somebody's probably going to make their second six-part Flash story a gripping examination of exactly why GL's ring can work on the yellow of the Flash's boots, and have everyone learn a valuable lesson about trust in the process.

― Vic Fluro, Thursday, 21 October 2004 06:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Trust, and buddy-breathing.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 21 October 2004 08:05 (twenty-one years ago)

38. "Good thing they're battling in a condemned neighbourhood! they're saving the wreckers a lot of work!"

Are entire neighbourhoods ever condemned in real life?

― Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 22 October 2004 11:36 (twenty-one years ago)

39. The entire Crimson Dawn plot. Seriously, WTF?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 22 October 2004 12:54 (twenty-one years ago)

WTF is so WTF about Crimson Dawn? & WTF IS Crimson Dawn?

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 22 October 2004 12:56 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.uncannyxmen.net/db/atlas/showquestion.asp?faq=9&fldAuto=63

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 22 October 2004 13:07 (twenty-one years ago)

That is the kind of shit that I imagine happened to the XMen all the time, though.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 22 October 2004 13:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah singling out Crimson Dawn as opposed to say the Phoenix Force or the history of Cable or or or or seems odd.

BUT Crimson Dawn had ninjas. And I hate ninjas.

(so Dan is right after all)

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 22 October 2004 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

The entire storyline seemed to have come about because Joe Maduriera wanted to draw ninjas.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 22 October 2004 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

To be fair, given his speed, he probably started drawing it in the 80s when ninjas were cool.

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 22 October 2004 15:04 (twenty-one years ago)

when have demolition companies ever been happy about being "saved a lot of work"?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 22 October 2004 20:19 (twenty-one years ago)

If another character with an apostrophe or dash in their name in place of a consonant or vowel is introduced into the X-verse, I will k'll th'm slowly. F'ck-rz.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 22 October 2004 20:22 (twenty-one years ago)

32: (Tintin et al) Oh no, the vicuous savages are going to sacrifice us at 12 O'Clock EXACTLY tomorrow. What are we going to do.
Twelve O'Clock you say. Captain Haddock, do you remember what time the newspapaer said that solar eclipse would be tomorrow...

(Considering solar eclipses asre SO rare the perenial reoccurance of this plotline in childrens fiction in general is shocking).

Er, you remember this somewhat wrong. The Incan king lets Tintin and Haddock *decide* what day and hour they wanna die, as long it's within a month or something. Tintin then sees the piece of newspaper with the news about the eclipse, and then settles their execution for that exact moment. It's still quite unlikely that an ecplise would take place within a month from when they were captured, but's it's not as unlikely as you make it sound.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 22 October 2004 22:39 (twenty-one years ago)

but that DID actually happen to some explorers, right?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 23 October 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

all of them

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 24 October 2004 13:25 (twenty-one years ago)

not de gama. he got with yo mama.

― cinniblount (James Blount), Sunday, 24 October 2004 17:21 (twenty-one years ago)

i think all the tintin plot twists on this thread are wicked.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 24 October 2004 17:33 (twenty-one years ago)

especially when he is saved from being ground up into mincemeat by a wildcat strike!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 24 October 2004 17:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Tin Tin saved by the strike is one of the best bits in any comic, ever!

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Sunday, 24 October 2004 20:54 (twenty-one years ago)

40: B-b-but, I saw you die

It was not me but your girlfriend made up to look like me.

You mean I killed STACY!!!!

(Yet again drifting into generics for lack of specifics but this has happened in at least five comics to one degree or another).

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 09:17 (twenty-one years ago)

41. "CHOKE! I'm black - and I need a blood transfusion from - or perhaps to give a blood transfusion to - someone who is WHITE!! DO YOU SEEEEEEEEE???"

― Vic Fluro, Wednesday, 27 October 2004 10:18 (twenty-one years ago)

41a. "Ja, I need a blood transfusion - and I AM A NAZI!!!! HIMMEL!!!!"

― Vic Fluro, Wednesday, 27 October 2004 10:23 (twenty-one years ago)

42: (But related to 41) They stole Hitler's BRAIN!!! (Particularly poor use of this in The Golden Age). Why it makes it even more shocking when you find out the evil villain isn't just an evil villain but and evil villain with HITLERS BRANE I am not sure, but it does.

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 10:56 (twenty-one years ago)

since it is now well-documented that hitler had fairly advanced parkinson's disease at the time of his death it seems a pore deal in all kinds of ways

(of course if the evil villain is REALLY evil - plus also an amateur neuropharmacologist of genius- they might have found a cure to parkinsonism before they had HB implanted, cured it afterwards, then - powered by the ultra-evil combo mentality - declined to share it w.anyone else) (he cd be called Dr NoDopa!)

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 11:36 (twenty-one years ago)

43) OMG the villain / hero you thought was dead is right behind you and s/he is REALLY TICKET OFF! And has scissors!

43a) OMG the Goblin Glider you assumed was not remote controlled is right behind you and WOW IS IT SHARP!

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)

42a. BRAIN, SHMAIN - the villain, under the mask - IS HITLER!! (Having read ESS SVTU, I now know that the Hatemonger didn't stop being Hitler, either. That was just what Hitler was doing in the 60s/70s - running around in purple KKK robes and teaming up with the Melter.)

― Vic Fluro, Wednesday, 27 October 2004 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

42b) Comic gods, show some meager sparks of creativity & bring back Idi Amin or Ghengis Khan or the Heaven's Gate guy next time.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 13:59 (twenty-one years ago)

The 100 Best Plot Twists thread would only reach 3), I fear.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 13:59 (twenty-one years ago)

44) "I have you at my mercy, but rather than kill you, I will make attach you to an elaborate device from which you'll escape". Not really a plot twist, as much as a plot faux pas, and something that's been mocked to death (in "Austin Powers" and the "Batman" tv show, to name two places. Specifically, I was thinking of this Bullseye issue - from using a giant arrow to killing Elektra, just goes to show how different writers treat the same character.

I'd forgotten all about the "Daredevil and Black Widow" issues - boy, did I love those. Natasha's outfit was an early comic crush.

― Chris Hill (Chris Hill), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

http://continuitypages.com/daredevil/daredevil141.jpg

― Chris Hill (Chris Hill), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

And "make attach" = "attach". Sigh.

― Chris Hill (Chris Hill), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

45. Just as your dad finally says he's proud that you play with a billionaire in his creepy basement, guess what? He gets a boomerang in the heart!

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 27 October 2004 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

45a) Just as you forge a bond with your recently estranged son, you go off to "make him proud" & get shot dead!

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 17:10 (twenty-one years ago)

45b) Despite its heavy-handedness, I liked the "twist"!

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 17:11 (twenty-one years ago)

45c) What "twist"?

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 27 October 2004 17:14 (twenty-one years ago)

45d) Exactly!

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

45e) Clearly I'm full of it & we shd get back to work. On this list.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

45f) Oh. I liked the way Morale's made Batman look like he did Killing Joke.

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 27 October 2004 17:20 (twenty-one years ago)

46. Barry Allen = Reverse Flash

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 17:48 (twenty-one years ago)

46a) Allen Barry = Reverse Flash

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 27 October 2004 17:52 (twenty-one years ago)

47) I, the SILVER SURFER, doomed to roam Earh after defying my former master GALACTUS, have FINALLY found the way to ESCAPE this conflicted planet! Soon I shall RETURN to the STARS! BUT WAIT - a crisis has arisen that will NOT ALLOW me to ESCAPE lest I betray my sense of RIGHT! Oh, fickle fate, how you TWIST me around your FINGER like so much STRING cut to the quick! Forever shall I be bound to this sad sphere! Forever shall I pine for the SOOTHING touch of sweet Shalla-Bal. Nevertheless, I must be THANKFUL that my proto-emo soul gnashing is in the CAPABLE hands of John Buscema, lest readers TURN AWAY from my perils and leave me here on this forsaken stone UNLOVED and UNREAD!

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 18:03 (twenty-one years ago)

47a. See also "Now's our chance to get out of this haunted Dungeons & Dragons ride... NOOO VENGER ETC"

47b. And also... "LORDY REED I'M HUMAN - BUT THE COST IS TOO GREAT, YES TOO GREAT!!?!?!?!???!!!???????!?!???!!!??!?!??!?!?!??!?!??"

― Vic Fluro, Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:45 (twenty-one years ago)

WE CAN'T LEAVE UNI BEHIND!

― Wooden (Wooden), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 22:09 (twenty-one years ago)

NO! For that would make us as bad as them.

(not a twist, more a way to make resolution = return to status quo)

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Thursday, 28 October 2004 09:11 (twenty-one years ago)

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