Superman's Pants

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Over on the V they're doing a thread about how Superman's costume needs to be updated and the pants MUST go, the cape MUST go, etc etc - it's absolutely ridiculous, of course, and it's based on one of the most hideous myths of comics, i.e. "Superman must be cool."

Superman is not cool. Superman is the teacher who isn't trying to be 'down with the kids'. He spends his time essentially helping kids across the road, writ large where necessary. And besides - without the pants HE WOULD LOOK NAKED.

(And as for the cape loss - Great Rao! I expect they want him in an 80's-style leather jacket or something that will date faster than a speeding bullet.)

Where do YOU stand on the super-pants question?

― Vic Fluro, Thursday, 21 October 2004 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

highcut plus add outer bra = deathless bingo

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 21 October 2004 16:31 (twenty-one years ago)

what is the V?

― Huk-L, Thursday, 21 October 2004 16:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Did the "V" (whoever they are) miss the 90s?
ihttp://www.megspace.com/entertainment/supermancentral/electric/bigimages/i-new_supes2.gif

― Huk-L, Thursday, 21 October 2004 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Another forum which I spend time on. Pretty much the anti-ILC in some ways but very close to ILE in others.

x-post - I didn't ask.

― Vic Fluro, Thursday, 21 October 2004 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Attempts at coolifying Superman = mullet or blue lightning. I'm guessing Huk's pic would illustrate that point, but I can't see it. That ain't cool. That's Disco Demolition Night. Cool Supes = lording over his peoples with his awesome abilities looking like a fancy four-color'd dork. Fucking with that is like fucking with salt.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 21 October 2004 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

The only thing I like is when they turn the S black sometimes. That's badass. But only sometimes.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 21 October 2004 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Hmmm... Humble "We're all heroes Keith - I may be super but I am also a MAN!!" Superman versus Up-Himself "Ha ha! It'll only take me a second to build this office block for you - AT SUPER SPEED! You can thank me later!" Superman.

Black S = Wank S.

― Vic Fluro, Thursday, 21 October 2004 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, sure, but what about in Superman/Batman #2, when future Superman boomtubed into the Batcave to wreck shit! That was awesome.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 21 October 2004 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I missed that - was it three-circles-of-unity Superman, or fascist black costume Superman?

― Vic Fluro, Thursday, 21 October 2004 16:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Wasn't it grizzled-gray-templed-psuedo-Batty Superman?

Surely there have been instances of the Humble Up-Himself Superman, yes? I think GM's work in JLA exemplified this version quite well (possibly better than any of the series writers have) - cornfed cosmic goodness for damn sure.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 21 October 2004 16:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Good point... has anyone been reading the Jim Lee Supes and has he attempted to become cool?

― Vic Fluro, Thursday, 21 October 2004 16:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, the Azzarello / Lee version of Superman has been pretty close to the GM Superman, now that you mention it. Not too flashy, yet not too stoic - the last two issues (w/ Supes fending off skyscraper-sized elementals) were pretty cool.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 21 October 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Not I.
But so far in Identity Crisis, they've done a pretty good take on him. I haven't read the new one yet, but in, I think it was number 3, when Flash is threatening (again) to spill the JLA's dirty secret to Supes, Green Arrow says something "Oh come on, Wally, the guy's got super-hearing. It's not that he doesn't know, he just acts like he doesn't because that way he doesn't have to take sides."
I may have inferred more than is actually there.

xpost

― Huk-L, Thursday, 21 October 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, the new IC (#5) had another solid Superman moment.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 21 October 2004 17:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Arggggg! the day can't end soon enough! I'm going to cheat on my comic shop and pick it up at the place downtown. I'm sorry. But it's the only comic I want this week, and my usual place is an hour out of my way!

― Huk-L, Thursday, 21 October 2004 17:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Watch out for Deadshot & his elephantitis, though!

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 21 October 2004 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, here's the thing about Superman's costume: it's perfect, because, unlike almost every other superhero, he's accessory free. His power is entirely internal, and the clean design and primary colours of his costume reflect that. Batman needs his pointy-ears and utility-belt. Hawkman, his S/M gear. Superman just needs a cape so that we don't have to look at his ass all day.

― huk-L, Thursday, 21 October 2004 17:50 (twenty-one years ago)

See, because Superman himself is the symbol of himself. He takes off his disguise, etc. Even though, in the last 18 years, it's come to be that Clark Kent is the more fully-realized character, the true self if you will (Kill Bill was wrong: Bruce Wayne is the sham, Batman is the true nature).

― Huk-L, Thursday, 21 October 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Alfred is the true nature! It's all been a dream! Much to be revealed! You'll See!

― cinniblount (James Blount), Friday, 22 October 2004 08:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Fucking with that is like fucking with salt.

Amen.

Amen x 2 (Although, if he lost the cape so that the ladies could look at his ass more, I'd be down with that.)

All I can say is that the movie better not fuck with the costume. No fake, muscle-y breast plate (a la Batman) and no new wacky colors and/or designs. The dude that puts on the costume should be able to "own" it, as is. If he's scrawny/paunchy, he shouldn't have been cast in the first place...

― Vermont Girl (Vermont Girl), Friday, 22 October 2004 11:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Word on the street is they're going to shade it slightly to bring out the muscle definition a la Spiderman, but no rubber nipples. I don't know about their cape-pants philosophy. But surely Supes is always having his cape torn off by missiles and stuff anyway?

― Vic Fluro, Friday, 22 October 2004 11:18 (twenty-one years ago)

The best thing about the post-Crisis Superman is that his cape could be damaged (possibly costume too - unsure on this point) - even though it's overused the torn cape looks pretty 'badass'.

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 22 October 2004 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Superman's outfit can not be changed! He is still wearing the same duds in "the Dark Knight Returns", and that's the future man!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 22 October 2004 17:51 (twenty-one years ago)

No it isn't. No hang on, is it? For ages it wasn't because Oliver Queen was dead rather than one-armed (the cliffhanger before he dies made it look like Superman might take the his arm off instead). Does the existance of Tim Drake contradict it?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 22 October 2004 17:59 (twenty-one years ago)

As everyone who's read this week's issue of Teen Titans (or any issue of the Legion of SH) knows, the future is fluid and butterflies, etc.

― Huk-L, Friday, 22 October 2004 18:01 (twenty-one years ago)

People who want to change Superman's outfit are just trying to look at his supertackle.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 22 October 2004 18:09 (twenty-one years ago)

They're not missing much, trust me.

― Lois Lane, Friday, 22 October 2004 18:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Black S is oldschool cool, yo.

And the scene where Kingdom Come superman tries to smash Batman with the George Barris Batmobile is one of sublime beauty. That first arc of Superman/Batman is priceless. Too bad it went downhill from there. Fast.

― Matt Maxwell (Matt M.), Saturday, 23 October 2004 03:46 (twenty-one years ago)

It went downhill before that arc was even over! Though Ed McGuinness can make anything look fun! JLA Classified here I come!

― Huk-L, Monday, 25 October 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Gawd would someone PLEASE light a fire under Michael Turner's ass so this crap arc can finish & we can get onto the fun stuff again?

The fact that S/B reads about the same w/ or w/out those annoying narration boxes says, to me, THEY SHOULD NOT BE THERE. Make it so, Mr. Loeb!

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 25 October 2004 13:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I started reading S/B with #3 and I thought, "oh cool, this narration is a good idea." And then I read #s 1 & 2 and I was like, "oh, you're always going to be doing this?"

― Huk-L, Monday, 25 October 2004 13:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Superman: "Supergirl is my COUSIN. I must PROTECT her."
Batman: "She is NOT who she says she is. I can only hope Clark SEES this before it's too late."
Superman: "Bruce doesn't TRUST her. Bruce can't trust ANYONE. It's how he SURVIVES. It's why he is the Dark Knight."
Batman: "Clark won't LISTEN to me. He always believes things to be true, when he wants to believe. It's his greatest STRENGTH. It's also his Kryptonite."
Superman: "Bruce smells like DOG ASS."
Batman: "Clark is a DOODYHEAD."

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 25 October 2004 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Memo to Batman:
Superman's Kryptonite is actually...Kryptonite

― Huk-L, Monday, 25 October 2004 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Superman: "Bruce's fetish for literary embellishment & exaggeration is undoubtedly going to cost him his life one day."
Batman: "Go play with your SuperDog, Four Eyes."

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 25 October 2004 13:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Superman: At least the young boy I spend time with is my clone.
Batman: At least the young boy I spend time with isn't my clone.

― Huk-L, Monday, 25 October 2004 13:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Superman's Kryptonite is actually...Kryptonite

haha

Superman: "Bruce's fetish for literary embellishment & exaggeration is undoubtedly going to cost him his life one day."
Batman: "Go play with your SuperDog, Four Eyes."

HAHA

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 25 October 2004 13:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Superman: "For the record, I do not actually look like an elf, and I do not have the sort of washboard abs that can be seen when I'm in costume."
Batman: "I second that emotion. Michael Turner killed my parents."
Superman: "Michael Turner blew up Krypton."
Batman: "The Red Skies were his fault, too."
Superman: "Also, Guy Gardner: Warrior."

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 25 October 2004 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

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