Shipping This Week! - 04.11.03

Question!
Originals! (maybe)
JLA Classified!
fuck isn't that Y quick on the heels of the last one, or has a month gone by already? (note: I just read the third trade--I'd like to start buying issues, but I feel like EVERY ISSUE matters, even though it probably doesn't).
And my terrible memory has already lost the other thing on the list I JUST LOOKED AT. (i'm in an allcaps mood today, I'll try to get a grip)

Aw man, so much good stuff and I still have like THREE WEEKS of comics to catch up on. I stopped by the store yesterday afternoon, but they were CLOSED. Because they're LAZY.

That reminds me of when I went to get my Identity Crisis #5 on a Thursday night and they were closed at 8:10 p.m.! There were people inside though, and I was about to knock on the door (I mean, surely, they wouldn't turn away a paying customer!) when I noticed that the people inside were all gamers and there was some sort of gamer event happening. So I ran. And ran. And ran.

Oh no, that's not nice Huck. Ha hah hahahaa.

The meanest thing I said to my neighbor was, "Are you guys still playing Hackmaster?"

"Yes."

"Don't you think you've wasted enough time playing that?"

I mean, shit, they play every Monday night for FOUR HOURS. Do you know how much REAL stuff I can get done in FOUR HOURS?

That's how I felt when all my friends were reading Robert Jordan books in high school.

"Real stuff."

I can play TWENTY games of CIVILIZATION III in FOUR HOURS! Fuck yeah for real stuff!

Moral: Let s/he who is without funny books or other geek ephemera cast the first thumb / forefinger LOSER sigil upon those of the gaming persuasion.

(I write games. I'm not going to be sympathetic to the "ha ha oh GAMERS!" thing, especially the "real stuff" bullshit, if it isn't also aimed at people who play sports, watch television, take college classes, or have other hobbies that take place in the fabric of spacetime.)

It's not so much that they play games (I had an interest in doing so myself at an impressionable age, but I didn't have any friends, sob sob, but otherwise gladly would have) (no really, after my best friend moved to Wpg the summer after 5th Grade, I didn't socialize again until Grade Eight), it's more that the "real stuff" this particular band of gamers seems to game at the expense of is bathing.

I didn't mean to rub anyone the wrong way with the "real stuff" remark. I used to play Magic and currently waste lots of time playing video games and board games like Settlers, Puerto Rico and Lunch Money. I just like to pick on them strictly because they play role playing games.

Lunch Money!!!!! Two friends of mine are in the credits for that game.

That doesn't surprise me at all, Dan.

Okay, I'm wasted and depressed by the returns, but before that I finally went to the comic book shop today and:

Planetary is execessivly metaphysical but he actually pulls it off.

Fables is great fun.

Y is magic mumbo jumbo but at least shit is happening.

Bullseye fucking rules.

We3 is also pretty fantastic, even if I didn't get a couple minor dialogue/plot points.

Can't remember what else I read, but there was a bunch more.

Rewind selecta! Here come the remix!
http://www.popcultureshock.com/features.php?id=858

Y, I'm still on the last trade. Has there been word or sign of Beth?

There was that one issue that tossed off a last-page cliffhanger about Beth getting nabbed by hostile-looking Aborigines, but that was MONTHS and MONTHS ago and it's apparently been forgotten about.

Ah, thanks! Sounds like I'm at least two trades away from further development. Requested the first Runaways trade from the library yesterday, along with vol. 9 of Ultimate X-Men, to see how he works with other characters.

Jordan, what didn't you get about We3?

I don't remember Dan, I was drunk. I think it was just really minor stuff like whether or not the cat took out the helicopter on purpose and how she did it, and what her animalspeak about the claws was referring to exactly.

Her claws = the tiny darts she fires?

Yes.

A Quick One While I'm Stewing:

SUPERMAN / BATMAN #13: Oh thank God it's over. Superman turned into a spokesperson for the Life on Earth Tourist Board while beating the crap out of Darkseid. I skipped all the captions, though they actually served some purpose re: how Supergirl didn't die. (Oh, yeah, big shock.) It ends w/ Darkseid getting wedged into the Source Wall, and Supergirl choosing to become a hero in that buttass throwback costume. Girl needs a ham sandwich and some potato salad. Also, Michael Turner hits all time lows here - deadlines must really suck in the comic industry, especially when you miss them by 2-3 months. Run, don't walk, away from this travesty (though feel free to mock both the 2-page spread / still life of Superman POWing Darkseid, and MT's homage to a stroke-addled George Perez near the end of the book). Punt punt punt punt punt punt punt. If you see someone at your local shop even looking at this book (either cover) (yes! multiple covers! how ginchy!), kick them in the shins and spit in their eye. Carlos Pacheco cannot come soon enough - Loeb's Bruckenheimering on this book is a lot easier to swallow when the art's fun to scan.

I might show a backbone and not buy it. Supergirl is destined to die, though, I mean, come on, if she doesn't die...what did she die doing again? Reigniting the sun? Saving the world from an anti-matter cannon?

She died turning into the lightning bolt that traveled back in time to blow up Krypton to send Superman to Earth to get his powers to save the world!

Okay, so the cat just ran out of ammo at some point. I opened the issue again and it's all perfectly clear.

Also, I was hoping that animal soldier #4 would be something a little more exotic.

Huk, DO NOT BUY THIS. It is dire dire stuff. I can't believe I'm still going to give this title a chance after the dire dire straits that this Supergirl shit put me through (yes I take no responsibility for this), but hope springs eternal.

I gotta go spelunking for We3 tomorrow. My local store had like 50 copies of the two versions of the new S/B, but no We3. Boo fucking hiss.

I can't believe I kept buying it up until now.
I'm super excited about the Question though, the art looks soooooooo hottttttt. And I love mentally-unstable superheroes (except Batman, that guy's an asshole).

Astonishing X-Men & JLA Classified & Y: The Last Man were fantastic. The Question was super cool, too. I will probably post more in-depth Comic Pup Shats later on, but I doubt they'll offer any more info than what I've said here (though, in my post-election malaise, I did go a little silly w/ the new stuff) (Tep, watch out for my post, you might get carpal tunnel scrolling thru it).

And, just because it's a word that's near & dear to my heart this week - dire dire dire dire dire dire dire dire.

Are you trying to raise the ghost of Mark Knopfler?

Bloody hell, new Rising Stars, moon turning red, third of the earth something something.

WE'VE GOT TO MOVE THESE REFRIGERATORS

WE'VE GOT TO MOVE THESE CHROMIUM-COVERED HOLOGRAPHIC ISSUES OF CODENAME: STRYKEFORCE-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

BANGIN ON THE BONGOES LIKE A CHIMPANZEE

http://www.comune.modena.it/glamazonia/articoli/flash/flagrodd.jpg

THAT AIN'T WORKIN THAT'S THE WAY YOU DO IT

http://www.lethargiclad.com/gorilla/flash127a.gif

GET YOUR MONEY FOR NOTHIN GET YOUR CHICKS FOR FREE

http://www.splashcomics.de/images/portraits/charaktere/whoiswho_gorilla_grodd2.gif

Ahem, MONKEY for nothin', perhaps?

And your CHIMPS FOR FREE!

I WANT MY
I WANT MY
I WANT MY CHIMPANZEE

See the little monkey with the earring and the brain guy

http://monkeysvsrobots.com/features/doompatrol/characters/brainandmallah.jpg

Yeah buddy, that's his own hair

Astonishing this week went from the "OMG THIS IS THE GREATEST THING EVER" pile to the "I really like this, it's very, very good" pile. I am amazed that I resisted succumbing to Kitty/Peter fatigue for as long as I did.

The end was great, though.

Book of Magick: Life During Wartime is getting better. I still wouldn't call the series "good" but I think my patience will pay off... sometime. Meanwhile, I'm getting tired of all the stupid sex scenes.

The Witching was a funny Halloween issue (which lost some of it's oomph, considering I only read it last night) with a very interesting twist. Plus, you got to see a little girl in a cat costume being beaten up... Eh, it was funnier when I was reading it.

Y was good. Oh yes. Who was the bad-ass up on the roof? What organization is she with? The only thing I didn't like was [SPOLIER] 355 saying, "Fuck the ring, I'm outta here." She knows Yorick needs the ring! Damn, girl.

I bought some stuff from last week to celebrate my whocaresery to Superman/Batman.

JLA: Classified #1 - Typical GM-Justice League shenanigans, Batman in sci-fi James Bondage & Discipline, Alfred in "Oh, you're such a tool." Ed McG ups the fun quotient. Plus, Grodd rules!

Birds of Brey #75 - Them ladies is hot! Even the one in the wheelchair. Hot! Hot! Hot! Lady Blackhawk wears a short skirt! There might be a story.

JLA #107 - Oh man, after the last year of mostly garbage now we have two really good JLA adventures going on. Flash & Martian Manhunter do housekeeping on the moon!

Daredevil #66 - My first Marvel single issue. I've already read the first two Bendis/Maleev trades, but Maleev's art really kicks ass, especially on the pop art pages! Guest starring Robert Duvall!

The Question #1 - Saving this for tonight!!! The art looks so good!!!

Also, JLA: One Million - I'm about halfway through it, and it seems like good fun.

i think the badass on the roof in y is culper ring though i'm not sure

I thought she was just hired by Dr. Mann to protect them and their lab?

I've Got Your Man Date Right Here, Sir:

SPOILED LIKE RORY GILMORE

AVENGERS #503: Somewhat perfunctory, but more satisfying & interesting than I originally thought (even if I had already heard about the SW rumors a while ago). Nice touches - the revelatory collage of previous SW appearances, and reprinting 3 pages from Avengers #16. I can't believe that the editors decided to print a letter from a SW fan in an issue where the SW goes bonkers & eeeeevil, though - that's tasteless (in a geeky way).

JLA: CLASSIFIED #1: "Alfred, has my flying saucer arrived in the mail yet?" I paraphrase, but it's there. Also - the large metallic Chemo-esque thing speaking in poetic verse (not haiku, but similar) and chemical equations. Also, ED MCGUINNESS!

MYSTIQUE #20: Solid stuff. Does anyone else here care? Shape-changing spy subterfuge and backstabbing? Is good, yes?

SOLO #1: A bi-monthly / quarterly series where one artist gets their chance to shine via short stories. This is Tim Sale's issue. Hit or miss, which is to be expected - I enjoyed the silly Darwyn Cooke Bat/Cat date, & Loeb's little Superman story, & Brian Azzarello's pulp thing. Everything else, eh. Not really sure $4.95 went too far here.

QUESTION #1: AMAZING! HEART PALPATING! LUGUBRIOUS WONDER! Tommy Lee Edwards = a Technicolor Alex Maleev. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

INTIMATES #1: Joe Casey does post-modernized super-hero Hogwarth's reality TV style, with tickers on the bottom of each page w/ silly info bits & panels stuffed to the gills with bells & whistles. Also, interludes from a comic book within the comic book drawn by Jim Lee! Might not be your cup o' tea, but I liked it.

EARTH'S MIGHTIEST HEROES #1: Joe Casey does the old school Avengers for 8 issues over the course of 4 months. This issue sets the stage for Captain America's return, & does a fine job. I won't go so far as to say this is Marvel's answer to The New Frontier, but they are similar in spirit.

CATWOMAN: WHEN IN ROME #2: More goofy thief romping in Italy (wow! just like the title sez!), w/ Catwoman as Gracy Kelly, the Riddler as Peter Lorre, and some blonde Italian bohunk as the Love Interest (probably played by Charlton Heston affecting a crap accent).

Y: THE LAST MAN #28: Magic mumbo jumbo dismissed by 355. Amulet breaks. More w/ Hero. And some other stuff.

ASTONISHING X-MEN #6: "Two words." Dan's assessment is OTM, but it was still the thing I wanted to read the most this week (beating out Y & JLA), and the ending is innnteresting. I hope that Whedon (& Cassaday!) stay on longer than 12 issues.

ULTIMATE FF #12: See, I have no problem with Halitosis Van Damme, so I enjoyed this issue, even if it was a big ol' fist fight, which doesn't intrigue me so much as all the scientific talk earlier in this arc. I like Theoretical Ellis more than Clobberin' Time Ellis.

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #68: AKA The Human Torch Goes to High School. & hijinks ensue. Fuck 'em (the fans) if they can't take a little Dawson's Creek w/ their spandex. Being who I am, I'm glad to see folks (like Waid & Bendis) explore & have fun with the Human Torch / Spidey dynamic.

CAPTAIN AMERICAN & THE FALCON #9: MODOK! I will miss Joe Bennett when he leaves for (sniff) Hawkman. Priest is great. Read this interview.

And I think I forgot some books, too!

what is we3?

Keep mostly shut up about Question until tomorrow!

Who's SW?

We3 (from what I've heard) is cute (real) animals (real, like, not anthropomorphic Captain Carrot or Hwd the Duck) with deadly weapons.

Scarlett Witch?

We3 is Grant Morrison's current three-issue miniseries following the adventures of a kitty, a puppy, and a bunny wabbit as they are set free from the military bunker where they have been hardwired with rudimentary speech abilities and massive high-tech arsenals.

(x-post)

Yeah it's GM's funny animal book.

My critical insight of the day was: Seaguy is Morrison does Nintendo. We3 is Morrison does XBox.

So I guess that makes GM's 3rd Vertigo mini (Viinnarramma?) Dance Dance Revolution?

That's The Invisibles!

So then it's Parappa the Rapper?

If Frank Quitely's doing the art, I hope it's Sonic the Hedgehog (all that spinning! enough motion lines to kill an elephant, if motion were cocaine!)

Imagine GM doing the comic adapation of "The Incredibles".

Philip Bond's doing the art.

I HEART PHILIP BOND

My second trip to the comic book store this week, and:

ASTONISHING X-MEN: Hey, it finally got all plotty! And the panel with Hank's "I did that also" made me roffle.

SHE-HULK: Okay, you were all right. And the weird thing is, I didn't even look or ask for it, but the guy at the comic book shop just put it in my box without a word.

GRANT MORRISON DOES TEH JLA AGAIN: GM does not hate fun, that's for sure.

LUCIFER: Wow, Marc Hempel's art just rules. What has he done, again?

I think Hempel's best known comic is Gregory and its sequels, but he did "The Kindly Ones" in Sandman after that, too. And probably some stuff I'm not thinking of. I'd really like to see him do Madman.

I love the unsolicited She-Hulk! That's great.

Hempel's also done the hilarious Tug & Buster (writing and drawing - self-published, with a TPB of the first few from Image), art on Vertigo miniseries Breathtaker (collected with a Gaiman intro), and a miniseries last year of miscellaneous humour strips called Marc Hempel's Naked Brain. Plus lots of '80s stuff before he developed that angular style.

Most of Gregory is now in two digest-sized paperbacks, too.

Where has the infant universe of Qwewq shown up before? In a Morrison JLA I assume... but the name is familiar.

It looks familiar...maybe Rock of Ages?

Google reveals NOTHING!

Rock Of Ages episode 3 - it's in with the brain of A-Mind the immortal cyborg tyrant.

The Question is rad.