Roger Ebert, You're Dead to Me

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From his Phantom of the Opera review, talking about Joel Schumacher:

His "Batman Forever" was the best of the Batman movies, not least because of its sets.

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 27 December 2004 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Granted it's not as bad as Batman vs. the Terminator follow-up, but W...T...F.

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 27 December 2004 15:23 (twenty-one years ago)

not least because of its sets, but mainly because of it's audacious shittiness that lesser director Tim Burton was too chicken to confront.

― Huk-L, Monday, 27 December 2004 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Hmmm, he did indeed rate Batman Forever higher than any of the other ones (2 1/2 stars vs 2 stars, heh). He basically proposes that if Schumacher=fun and Burton=no fun and fun > no fun, then Schumacher > Burton (as proven by etc.). I guess he should be posting on ILC.

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 27 December 2004 15:57 (twenty-one years ago)

That's using a pretty narrow definition of FUN on his part. What's not fun about Jack Palance & Jerry Hall? Or Michelle Pfeifer and a generation of first boners?

― Huk-L, Monday, 27 December 2004 15:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Batman Forever only has one weak spot (Tommy Lee Jones), otherwise it's great.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 27 December 2004 16:00 (twenty-one years ago)

The Ghost of Dan Perry, you're, uh, dead to me.

― Huk-L, Monday, 27 December 2004 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

(from the Batman Returns review)

No matter how hard you try, superheroes and film noir don't go together; the very essence of noir is that there are no more heroes.

...

I always thought it would be fun to be Batman. The movie believes it is more of a curse - that Batman is not a crime-fighting superhero but a reclusive neurotic who feels he has to prove himself to a society he does not really inhabit.

...

Perhaps I would have enjoyed Batman more if the movie had been about someone else, perhaps one of those Marvel superheroes who frankly concede their personal inadequacies

Ha, I imagine the Marvel in that line being said with a sneer.

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 27 December 2004 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Should be "I imagine the WORD Marvel..."

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 27 December 2004 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)

those Marvel superheroes who frankly concede their personal inadequacies

Like who? Thor? Hulk? Dr. Strange?
Really, when people talk about those Marvel superheroes who frankly concede their personal inadequacies they really just mean Spider-Man, right? (maybe Daredevil, and, okay, Bruce Banner)

― Huk-L, Monday, 27 December 2004 16:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, he's totally wrong about Batman Returns. That movie drips with more fun than a freshman at a frat party.

(Urgh, I'm sorry for that but NOT SORRY ENOUGH TO DELETE IT.)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 27 December 2004 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh man, Dan Perry ladies & gentleman. :>

Batman and Batman Returns may not be silver age style swashbuckling or Adam West & his Superfriends, but I don't think they're as DKR as Ebert makes them seem. Dark & atmospheric, yeah, but even though I haven't seen them in a few years I remember a fair amount of laughs. How can anything with a Prince soundtrack be free of fun?

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 27 December 2004 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Graffitti Bridge, perhaps?

― Huk-L, Monday, 27 December 2004 16:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Grafitti Bridge dri- oh, I used that one already.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 27 December 2004 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I haven't seen Grafitti Bridge, but how un-fun can a movie starring Prince, Morris Day, and Michael Bland be? I want to watch it now.

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 27 December 2004 16:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Danny DeVito makes Penguin noises! How is this serious?

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Monday, 27 December 2004 16:57 (twenty-one years ago)

My parents took me to see Batman Returns when it came out - I was 6 or 7 - and it scared the cannoli out of me. I liked it though, esp. the cute penguins!!!

also, Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman completely defined what my sexuality would one day be

― LOCKER ROOM TOWEL FIGHT: THE BLINDING OF LARRY DRISCOLL (Adrian Langston), Monday, 27 December 2004 17:20 (twenty-one years ago)

one of my clearest memories of that age is asking my dad, "what's batman returning from?" He said he didn't know :(

― LOCKER ROOM TOWEL FIGHT: THE BLINDING OF LARRY DRISCOLL (Adrian Langston), Monday, 27 December 2004 17:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Batman Returns definitely cemented Michelle Pfeiffer in my mind as extraordinarily sultry and amazing.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 27 December 2004 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Major Revelation in Batman Returns: Women can look sexy with clothes ON!

― Huk-L, Monday, 27 December 2004 17:41 (twenty-one years ago)

"a generation of first boners": a phrase i'll always remember

― Chrchuckis Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Monday, 27 December 2004 18:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I was in college when this came out so I can't really say that this movie gave me my first boner. (Actually, from what I remember about the state of my hormones at the time, I think I owe my first boner to Fruit Of The Loom.) (No, not the commercials.)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 27 December 2004 18:10 (twenty-one years ago)

It wasn't my first boner either, as I was about 15 and had plenty of boners behind me by that point, ah, you know what I mean (gay sex), but that summer the image of MP in catsuit was everywhere, thanks to the massive marketing campaign (gay sex) and it filled my pubescent pants with glee (gay sex).

― Nealon-L, Monday, 27 December 2004 18:14 (twenty-one years ago)

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