Top 100 Ways to Establish A Secret Identity

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1. Eyewear (cf. Superman's glasses, Wolverine's ridiculous patch)

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

2. Fake - or at least distinction without a difference - disability (Daredevil)

― Austin (Austin), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 15:56 (twenty-one years ago)

3. Super-mass-hypnotism

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 15:58 (twenty-one years ago)

4. Baggy clothing to hide ULTRA SUAVE PHYSIQUE

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 15:58 (twenty-one years ago)

5. Putting on a funny accent. I am not sure if anyone has actually done this, I would however love it if Gambit or someone was revealed as not being Cajun at all and had been fooling the X-Men with his rubbish voice all this years. (see also Rogue, Batroc Zee Leapair etc.)

― Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 15:59 (twenty-one years ago)

6. putting on special wig that never ever falls off during fights or other shenanigans (cf. old black Canary)

― Mark C (Markco), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:00 (twenty-one years ago)

7. a big blond goatee.

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

6 (related to 4) giant bulky costume that may as well be a schoolbus for all it shows of your face and body (iron man, etc.)

7 Becoming a whole different person when you are a superhero (Hulk, Big Red Cheese)

― Austin (Austin), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

8. Casing entire body in reinforced armour that handily fits into an executive briefcase.

(curses xpost)

― Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

9. Slouching to hide ULTRA SUAVE PHYSIQUE

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

10. Hairbuns (NOTE: doesn't work for men too often)

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Crap I keep forgetting to renumber on crossposts. Sorry.

11 - Surrounded by idiots who can't recognize someone by their face.

― Austin (Austin), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)

12. Being stereotypical communist supertype and thus part of a Kollektive (Rocket Red!!) (how very 80s)

13. Turning out to be nobody the readers have ever heard of (how very 00s)

― Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Let's abandon the numbering NOW!

A homonymic name. "Clearly I, John Jones, cannot be this J'onn J'onzz, Martian Manhunter you speak of, for although I look exactly like him, I am not green."

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

NEVER ABANDON THE SYSTEM!

15. Drawing attention away from face while superheroing (cf. Batman & Superman's chest insignias, boobies)

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

14 - Domino mask that may as fucking well be a pair of specs. (see #1)

― Austin (Austin), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

14. sucking in stomach to suddenly create ULTRA SUAVE PHYSIQUE

15. Putting on teeny domino mask that makes it look like you have fallen for "inky binoculars" practical joke (aka: Eyewear in reverse)

― Mark C (Markco), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

doh - uncanny xpost!

― Mark C (Markco), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:13 (twenty-one years ago)

21. Take the only known pictures of your alter-ego and sell them to a newspaper that hates him.

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

22. Get your comic cancelled before anyone finds out for sure. (Omega The Unknown)

― Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

23 or whatever - Not wearing a costume at all, just doing your thing on the sly. (about a million olden times 'catburglar' type characters)

― Austin (Austin), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

24. cover your entire face with fabric and just hope you never get thirsty or want to blow your nose or whatever (Atom, Atom smasher, Sensor Girl, Grifter, etc.)

― Mark C (Markco), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:23 (twenty-one years ago)

25. Let everyone think that Denny Colt is dead.

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

26. Wear a large chapeau (cf. the Phantom Stranger) (though he might also be using a MAGIK version of the domino mask)

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

27. Be really tuff and hard in real life and then wear such a stupid, laughable superhero costume that no-one would ever think it was you (cf Wildcat)

― Mark C (Markco), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:35 (twenty-one years ago)

28. Die.
29. "Die".

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:37 (twenty-one years ago)

30. Be a bit mental/schizo, so that even you don't know you are the superhero/villain.

― Mark C (Markco), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

31. Be a robot.

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

32. dress up as monster/ghost so that everyone is scared and runs away - NB tends not to work on meddling kids.

― Mark C (Markco), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

33. Go back in time and kill the parents of everyone who knows you.

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 17:36 (twenty-one years ago)

34. Pretend to be your own twin brother with a different personality (see Mike Murdock).

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

35. ACTUALLY BE your own clone with a different personality. (At least I think that's what happened to Spiderman.)

― Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

36. Avoid Brian Bendis like the plague.

― Chris Hill (Chris Hill), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 20:51 (twenty-one years ago)

37. If your superpower is being fast, be late for everything. Similarly, if your superpower is being super, be utterly useless at everything and constantly succumbing to 'stomach aches'.

― Vic Fluro, Thursday, 27 January 2005 00:23 (twenty-one years ago)

37b. Ideally, Oliver Queen should've been the leader of a neo-nazi organisation in his secret identity. And he should have pretended to be afraid of sharp objects. And bows.

― Vic Fluro, Thursday, 27 January 2005 00:39 (twenty-one years ago)

38. Always enter your apartment / house via the non-street facing windows.

― Chris Hill (Chris Hill), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:47 (twenty-one years ago)

38b. Think about a skylight. I have a brochure you can look at.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 27 January 2005 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

39. Get proof of yourself in public w/ your heroic alter ego...

39a. Either by having someone pose as you for a photo op in front of your anti-you EIC (cf. Spidey)...

39b. Or spending your Dept. of Defense profits on having your bodyguard run around as your super self (cf. RHODEY!)

39b-1. Being an off-wagon alcoholic helps (cf. TONY!)

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 27 January 2005 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

40. IMAGE INDUCER!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

41. Be invisible.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 27 January 2005 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

41. change sex like in Ranma

― Mark C (Markco), Thursday, 27 January 2005 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

43. Just deny it. Even if your mask is pulled off in public.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 27 January 2005 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

44. Get a job that will allow your mid-crises exits to look justified (cf. freelance photographer, journalist, lawyer, Spirit of Vengeance)

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 27 January 2005 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

45. Act excessively standoffish & aloof to the point that no one wants to bother with your dead ass.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 27 January 2005 16:29 (twenty-one years ago)

46. be an "urban legend" - despite the fact that you have rescued zilions of people and beaten up zillions of baddies over the years.

― Mark C (Markco), Thursday, 27 January 2005 16:39 (twenty-one years ago)

47. Kill everyone that knows your secret.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 27 January 2005 16:52 (twenty-one years ago)

48. Post false rumours about your secret ID to Internet Message Boards

― Huk-L, Thursday, 27 January 2005 17:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey, guys, is it just me, or does that Green Arrow guy look a lot like Morley Safer? Has anyone ever seen them together? Me neither. Coincidence? I doubt it.

― Ollie Queen, Thursday, 27 January 2005 17:46 (twenty-one years ago)

49. Burst into flames.

― JonH (JonH), Thursday, 27 January 2005 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

50. Not be King of the Ocean

― Huk-L, Thursday, 27 January 2005 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)

51. If you've got a tail like a mermaid, either stay in a wheelchair constantly or hide behind waist-high objects.

― Vic Fluro, Thursday, 27 January 2005 22:57 (twenty-one years ago)

52. Wear a different mask in everyday life to the one you wear as a superhero.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 27 January 2005 23:33 (twenty-one years ago)

DV OTM.

― Huk-L, Friday, 28 January 2005 05:11 (twenty-one years ago)

53. Be a rather foppish millionaire/billionaire playboy. (Someone please tell me why or how that works/)

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Thursday, 3 February 2005 16:32 (twenty-one years ago)

54. Wear a sweatshirt with a hood on it.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 3 February 2005 17:02 (twenty-one years ago)

55. Be really well endowed and draw attention to this via big red pants outside yer clothes (plot device used to explain away the pants outside thing int Lois & Clark: The New Adventures Of Superman).

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 3 February 2005 17:20 (twenty-one years ago)

56. Be some guy that no one knows, so that when you are unmasked people just say "who the fuck is this guy?" (cf "Marshall Law")

― DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 3 February 2005 17:37 (twenty-one years ago)

57. Sew your suit onto yourself so that no one will ever be able to remove it and establish your secret identity (again, cf "Marshall Law").

― DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 3 February 2005 17:38 (twenty-one years ago)

58. Live in a world where there are so many superheroes that no one gives a toss what their secret identities are (cf "Legion of Superheroes" or "Bicycle Repair Man")

― DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 3 February 2005 17:39 (twenty-one years ago)

59. Be from the Future (cf Booster Gold)

― Huk-L, Thursday, 3 February 2005 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

60. Be from the past (cf. um, Kamandi? Devil Dinosaur? Shining Knight? Frozen Caveman Telekinetic?)

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 February 2005 17:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Captain Caveman.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 3 February 2005 19:34 (twenty-one years ago)

five months pass...

61: Be such a wuss in ordinary life that even when you get unmasked in front of everyone you know, they still think you were just pretending to be super for a laff(cf: early Spidey).

― Philip Alderman (Phil A), Sunday, 10 July 2005 19:43 (twenty years ago)

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