Top 100 ways to give a superhero ANGST

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1. kill all his relatives, obv

― Mark C (Markco), Friday, 4 February 2005 15:27 (twenty-one years ago)

1a Kill his girlfriend.

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Friday, 4 February 2005 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

1b Kill his sidekick

― robster (robster), Friday, 4 February 2005 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

2. kill his whole planet, so he is the sole survivor of a long lost world

― Mark C (Markco), Friday, 4 February 2005 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

3. Make him a cross-pollinated clone of his hero and that hero's main adversary.

― Huk-L, Friday, 4 February 2005 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

4. Make him spend time with Green Arrow.

― Huk-L, Friday, 4 February 2005 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

5. Indian rope burns

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 4 February 2005 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

6. make him funny looking (like the Thing, Beast, Robotman etc)

― Mark C (Markco), Friday, 4 February 2005 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

7. MSG in his/her General Tso's Chicken

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 4 February 2005 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

8. Boink and/or knock up hero's significant other

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 4 February 2005 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

9. Take away everything that gives the hero's non-super life meaning (cf. job, favorite coffee place, comfortable shoes, Penthouse)

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 4 February 2005 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

9. possess SO so she turns "evil and sexy" and wears skimpy leather outfit and plots dastardly shenanigans.

― Mark C (Markco), Friday, 4 February 2005 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

11. Make the hero question his/her raison d'etre

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 4 February 2005 15:42 (twenty-one years ago)

(Though, really, THAT's #1, and all of these entries are subcategories of this.)

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 4 February 2005 15:43 (twenty-one years ago)

12. give hero comical superpower, so all the other superheroes make fun of him

― Mark C (Markco), Friday, 4 February 2005 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

13. Have hero leave bits of food all over the Fortress of Solitude. No wait, that's how to give a superhero ANTS.

― Huk-L, Friday, 4 February 2005 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

14. Mysteriously delete the number 10 from his life...

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Friday, 4 February 2005 15:53 (twenty-one years ago)

15. shrink costume in wash, causing chafing.

― Mark C (Markco), Friday, 4 February 2005 15:55 (twenty-one years ago)

(fact i found out yesterday and will surely never use wisely: MSG is extracted from beetroot)

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

16. Bring hero back from the dead
16a. Make undead hero look butt-ugly

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

so er 17. introduce that fact to his life, repeatedly

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

18. Give him an over-bearing, obnoxious and belligerent boss.

― Huk-L, Friday, 4 February 2005 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

19. Exlax in the protein shake.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

20 Give him a nemesis whom he quite fancies...

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:08 (twenty-one years ago)

21. Angst in the Pants

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:09 (twenty-one years ago)

22. Extraordinarily tiny genitalia

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

23. Noogies

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

24. make him/her a goddamn mutant

― Mark C (Markco), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

25. Surround him with people who all have the same initials, preferably Ls.

― Huk-L, Friday, 4 February 2005 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

26. Love handles.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:26 (twenty-one years ago)

27. Give him a really stupid name.

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:30 (twenty-one years ago)

28. give him powers that mean all problems/opponents ever can be solved/defeated instantly w/o leaving his couch/bed/pit/vast antarctic crystal palace [ / existentialist mindfuck ]

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:34 (twenty-one years ago)

29. Random lactating.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:34 (twenty-one years ago)

30. Give him a badass haircut.

― Huk-L, Friday, 4 February 2005 16:37 (twenty-one years ago)

31 Make him a teen

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

32. Make him Norwegian.

― Huk-L, Friday, 4 February 2005 16:39 (twenty-one years ago)

33. is constantly beset by ninjas

― Mark C (Markco), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

34. Make. Him. GAY!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

35. Make him a gross exaggeration of some secretive characteristic of Stan Lee.

― Huk-L, Friday, 4 February 2005 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

35. he WISHES he wz gay!

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

(people, people - what about the OTHER pronoun?)

37. Give hero the ability to see the future, but always @ random, always at inopportune times, always forecasting a gruesome demise or cataclysmic event, & always in such a way so the hero cannot affect the course of events.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

37. make him an earthpig born into an insane world he never made

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

38. is totally not gay but is secretly stragely excited when wrestling with muscular, spandex clad villain. how can something so wrong feel so right? etc

― Mark C (Markco), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

ie earthpig born into an insane world he never made (except angsty)

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

(TS: angsty vs pigsty)

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

39. has random stupid weakness. (noo! the colour yellow! aaargh! coconut! I'm meltingggg)

― Mark C (Markco), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

40. Make him handicapped (Blind, wheelchair bound, etc)
41. Everyone I ever love, every thing I ever touch, dies!

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

42. Make him spend so much time with Booster Gold that no one takes him seriously anymore.

― Huk-L, Friday, 4 February 2005 16:55 (twenty-one years ago)

43. is sick of no-one taking her seriously because of unfeasibly large bosoms (cough*Power girl*cough)

44. has amnesia to hide fact that "origin story" is desperately confused mess (Power girl, meet wolverine!)

― Mark C (Markco), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:57 (twenty-one years ago)

45. Hurtle hero through time into an era where THE WORLD S/HE KNEW IS NO MORE!

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 4 February 2005 16:58 (twenty-one years ago)

46. Only friend is a talking tiger in a bad suit.

― Huk-L, Friday, 4 February 2005 17:00 (twenty-one years ago)

47. is related to supervillain, leading to awkwardness at family gatherings.

― Mark C (Markco), Friday, 4 February 2005 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

48. Clone him (with memories), lock the two (or more) of them in a room, turn the lights out, shoot one (or more), then tell the survivor if he's a clone, he's got a limited life span.

― Chris Hill (Chris Hill), Friday, 4 February 2005 17:24 (twenty-one years ago)

49. Make his super-uniform invisible to everyone but him.

― Huk-L, Friday, 4 February 2005 17:42 (twenty-one years ago)

50. Invite hero to a totally pointless lunch-time re-org meeting that's full of misdirection & jargon & other stuff said hero could do w/out.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 4 February 2005 17:43 (twenty-one years ago)

51. TPS report cover sheets.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 4 February 2005 17:46 (twenty-one years ago)

52. Side-effect of using powers: spontaneous boner.

― Huk-L, Friday, 4 February 2005 18:07 (twenty-one years ago)

(see also: #21)

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 4 February 2005 18:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, right.

― Huk-L, Friday, 4 February 2005 18:14 (twenty-one years ago)

(No, no - that wasn't a correction, just a cheeky addendum.)

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 4 February 2005 18:20 (twenty-one years ago)

53. Make the hero less than a fish, but more than a man. Or vice versa.

― Huk-L, Friday, 4 February 2005 18:29 (twenty-one years ago)

54. YOUR CHILDREN ARE IMAGINARY!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 February 2005 19:05 (twenty-one years ago)

54a. But it's okay, because you're imaginary too, Animal Man!

― Huk-L, Friday, 4 February 2005 19:16 (twenty-one years ago)

55. LONG LOST CHILD ALERT! And s/he's JUST LIKE YOU!

(Followed by #1, and then "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" or "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!")

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 4 February 2005 19:57 (twenty-one years ago)

56. Make him/her extraordinarily content. Because something ... somewhere ... MUST be wrong, for him/her to be so happy.

― Chris Hill (Chris Hill), Saturday, 5 February 2005 01:27 (twenty-one years ago)

57: "MY COSTUME! MY ENEMY!"

― carson dial (carson dial), Saturday, 5 February 2005 01:59 (twenty-one years ago)

54b. But it's not OK, Scarlet Witch, because you've been chosen as the next contestant in Dirt Nap Avengers!

― David R. (popshots75`), Saturday, 5 February 2005 04:56 (twenty-one years ago)

58. Fuck his sidekick in the ass.

("Hey! That's my sidekick!")

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Saturday, 5 February 2005 11:08 (twenty-one years ago)

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