Weep Fanboy! Weep!

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See the Spiderman Thread re Wolverine/Diego

What 100 plot twist would you like to see occur, just because it would make lots of fanboys cry?

1. Jean Grey never ever comes back from the dead ever again

― Mark C (Markco), Thursday, 3 March 2005 14:39 (twenty years ago)

2. FAVORITE MALE SUPERHERO OF CHOICE comes out of the closet.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 14:40 (twenty years ago)

3. Hal Jordan gives up being GL at the end of Rebirth.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 14:42 (twenty years ago)

4. Batman pantsed by Booster Gold!

xpost, watch it, bucko.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 3 March 2005 14:42 (twenty years ago)

5. Magneto and Wolverine ... ARE RELATED?

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 14:42 (twenty years ago)

6. Spider-Man mutates again & starts shooting webs out of his butt.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 14:44 (twenty years ago)

7. BUSTY FEMALE HEROINE has breast reduction surgery.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 14:45 (twenty years ago)

7a. FEMALE HEROINE = the most redundant thing ever typed by anyone.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 14:45 (twenty years ago)

7. "Wow, Batman, your amazing new powers will give a real edge to your battle against crime!"

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 3 March 2005 14:45 (twenty years ago)

9. "You see Lois, my Krytponian physiology allows ME to get pregnant!"

― Huk-L, Thursday, 3 March 2005 14:47 (twenty years ago)

10. Mr. Fantastic: Male Gigolo

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 14:47 (twenty years ago)

11. "Nice to have you back, Bucky."

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 3 March 2005 14:49 (twenty years ago)

12. Wolverine has adamantium claws replaced with plush claws.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 3 March 2005 14:49 (twenty years ago)

11. If I vibrate at a particualr frequency I can actually run through universes. Here is one where everyone seems the same but a bit older. I call it Earth 2. And here is one where everyone is evil. I call it Earth-3. And here is one where Captain Marvel lives.

Crisis, what crisis.

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 3 March 2005 14:49 (twenty years ago)

15. "Lois, close the body mold and switch on the power. It is important that I too must spend the next 24 ~~hours~~ years as a black woman."

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 3 March 2005 14:51 (twenty years ago)

16. "UNCLE BEN! YOU'RE ALIVE!"
16a. "But why are you pointing a gun at me?"
16b. "Why are your eyes glowing?"
16c. "You mean to tell me that Aunt May ... is PREGNANT?"

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 14:51 (twenty years ago)

17. "Kryptonite? Meh!"

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 14:52 (twenty years ago)

18. Daredevil: Bilnd Justice NO MORE!

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 14:53 (twenty years ago)

7b. No, wait, BUSTY FEMALE HEROINE = the most redundant thing ever typed by anyone.

― Occam, Thursday, 3 March 2005 14:53 (twenty years ago)

Occam wins the booby prize!

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 14:54 (twenty years ago)

19. "Thank heaven we found that weirdo's diary. Now we're going to take Ozymandias down - HARD."

19b. "I'm delighted that Rob has signed up to finish Big Numbers with me."

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 3 March 2005 14:57 (twenty years ago)

20. the Unhealthy XL-Men!

― Huk-L, Thursday, 3 March 2005 14:57 (twenty years ago)

21. "Reed, I found proof that all mutants are actually ALIENS!" "Johnny, I told you not to touch that!"

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:01 (twenty years ago)

22. Captain America no more! Say hello to Captain United Nations!

― Mark C (Markco), Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:02 (twenty years ago)

23. ALL IRRADIATED SUPER-HEROES get cancer, just in time for the latest summer x-over spectacular: BIOPSY!

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:03 (twenty years ago)

24. Sabretooth For President!

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:05 (twenty years ago)

25. The Punisher Goes Bowling

― Huk-L, Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:05 (twenty years ago)

26. Who's the father - Archie or Jughead?

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:07 (twenty years ago)

(Are there even Archie fanboys?)

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:08 (twenty years ago)

27. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: DARK SPLINTER

[xpost] (I don't wanna find out!)

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:09 (twenty years ago)

28. The Punisher witnesses Batman's parents killed with a handgun and vows never to use a firearm in the pursuit of justice again.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:09 (twenty years ago)

29. Angel & The Ape by Frank Miller

― Huk-L, Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:09 (twenty years ago)

29. evil manga tentacle demons decide to respect women's rights

― Mark C (Markco), Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:09 (twenty years ago)

31. The next herald for Galactus: Willie Lumpkin

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:10 (twenty years ago)

32. Birds of Prey by Robert Crumb

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:11 (twenty years ago)

haha

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:12 (twenty years ago)

33. Calvin & Hobbes by Chuck Austen

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:13 (twenty years ago)

34. The JSA starts showing their age and pooping their pants while fighting Vandal Savage.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:14 (twenty years ago)

35. Mary Worth by Grant Morrison

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:14 (twenty years ago)

35a. Mary Worth by Chuck Dixon

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:15 (twenty years ago)

36) Grant Morrison by Chuck Dixon.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:15 (twenty years ago)

37. "Bruce, your mother and I aren't really dead. We were just trying to teach you a lesson about getting to rambunctious in the street...for the last 30 (or 65) years!"

― Huk-L, Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:16 (twenty years ago)

38. "Kal-El, your mother and I aren't really dead, and neither is Krypton. We just didn't love you, and weren't married anyway, so we put you in a rocket and made you someone else's problem."

― Huk-L, Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:18 (twenty years ago)

39. Wonder Woman by Ann Coulter

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:18 (twenty years ago)

40. Wonder Woman: The Movie starring Ann Coulter

― Huk-L, Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:19 (twenty years ago)

41. "No no, don't worry, the Ultimate line will never replace current continuity. Peter Porker, The Spectacular Spider-Ham will. Here's John Byrne to talk about his new Hulk-Bunny."

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:20 (twenty years ago)

42. "Professor X was covering his hair this whole time? But WHY? WHY!?!?!"

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:21 (twenty years ago)

43. "Love and Rockets" by Rob Liefield

― Mark C (Markco), Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:23 (twenty years ago)

(Are there even Archie fanboys?)

I was when I was 12.

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:24 (twenty years ago)

44. "Okay, okay, we hear you, 'Marvel time' was getting a little funky with forty years of comics taking place in ten years, so we've fixed everything by retconning Captain America so he fought in the first Gulf War instead of World War II. HAPPY NOW?"

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 3 March 2005 15:24 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 116 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Well, yeah, Uatu's a busybody, but in my mind, there was a "ties on a red bandana, grabs an M16, gets the Ultimate Nullifier tattooed on his right bicep, and ..." before "becomes".

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 18:32 (twenty years ago)

130. No more superpowers!!!!

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 3 March 2005 18:33 (twenty years ago)

I wonder if the Ultimate Nullifer in the Ultimate Marvelverse turns into the RADICAL XTREME NULLIFIER.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 18:33 (twenty years ago)

131. All spandex is tainted and unclean! Unstable molecules are too unstable! Laundry detergeant makes them chafe, and poly-cotton blends are gauche! In order to save the world, our intrepid heroes must do ... THE FULL MONTY!

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 18:35 (twenty years ago)

132. Comics are for kids, get a life

:( :( :(

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 3 March 2005 18:36 (twenty years ago)

131a. Without morals, without scruples, and without boxers or briefs, the Ultimates ... GO COMMANDO!

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 18:37 (twenty years ago)

132. Bruce Wayne on Michael Jacksonesque trial - with BATMAN as the prosecutor!

― Vic Fluro, Thursday, 3 March 2005 18:39 (twenty years ago)

Oh, I like that one.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 3 March 2005 18:41 (twenty years ago)

Is the original Robin still dead, will he be able to testify against Bruce?

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 3 March 2005 18:43 (twenty years ago)

133. "Yes, Superman gets his powers from our yellow sun ... our Yellow Sun STEROIDS!"

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 18:44 (twenty years ago)

134. "I know better than anyone what Bruce Wayne is going through after having half his face torn off by that ravenous bat! So I, Harvey Dent, must take up the mantle of Batman II and fight this new Two-Face wherever he commits binary crime!"

― Vic Fluro, Thursday, 3 March 2005 18:46 (twenty years ago)

135. "Spectre -- you mean you REALLY get your powers -- FROM RAO???"

― Vic Fluro, Thursday, 3 March 2005 18:47 (twenty years ago)

136. Frankenstein's monster becomes the newest nemesis of the Caped Crusader. Meet ... OCTOBODY!

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 18:48 (twenty years ago)

137. Daredevil deafens himself for double radar sense! "I'm on the threshold of 'total awareness'! Remove my sense of smell, Reed, so I can become -- A GOD!!"

― Vic Fluro, Thursday, 3 March 2005 18:51 (twenty years ago)

138. Hourman buys a stopwatch!

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 18:53 (twenty years ago)

haha!

139. Doc Oc has tragic scheme-related accident, becomes an octaplegic.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 3 March 2005 18:56 (twenty years ago)

133a. But steroids aren't actually performance enhancing! Supes was already one of the most talented superheroes in the game.

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Thursday, 3 March 2005 19:59 (twenty years ago)

133b. Tell that to BANE!

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 20:03 (twenty years ago)

133c. Bane is a statistical outlier! Just look at his OPS since he broke Bat's back!

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Thursday, 3 March 2005 20:10 (twenty years ago)

140. Luke Cage marries Janet Van Pym!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 3 March 2005 21:37 (twenty years ago)

141. MADDIE PRYOR ISN'T DEAD.... AGAIN!!!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 3 March 2005 21:38 (twenty years ago)

140a. ... and finds Hank Pym making like a Kinder Suprise toy!

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 21:39 (twenty years ago)

142. Rachel Summers IS ... MADDY PRYOR!

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 21:43 (twenty years ago)

143. Meet Darkseid's long lost twin - they called him BRIGHTSEID

― Mark C (Markco), Thursday, 3 March 2005 21:55 (twenty years ago)

(OMG Daver 142 is BRILLIANT)

144. Adam X-Treme was never the the third Summers brother! The third Summers brother is... MAGGOTT!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 3 March 2005 22:10 (twenty years ago)

There's a third Summers brother?

Oh, wait - sorry.

145. There's a third Summers brother?

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 22:16 (twenty years ago)

Where were you in the 90s, Daver?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 3 March 2005 22:20 (twenty years ago)

I was gettin' some. Sleep, that is.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 22:24 (twenty years ago)

haha, that guy is totally bonkers! WHAT A RUBBISH PLOT!

― dave k, Thursday, 3 March 2005 22:27 (twenty years ago)

HOLY!

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 22:29 (twenty years ago)

I'll admit, that whole convoluted hootenanny sounds way cool in a "sweet crap MORE convoluted hootenanny" way. (And, really, the X-Men is all about convoluted hootenanny, so it slots in nicely.)

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 March 2005 22:31 (twenty years ago)

Robert We1nberg there is forever a place for you on ILC.

Well, on this thread.

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 3 March 2005 23:58 (twenty years ago)

Tom's have been the best, because they're plausible - but absolutely horrible.

― The Yellow Kid, Friday, 4 March 2005 00:55 (twenty years ago)

Including the one where Superdog uses the blackifier to turn himself into a cat?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 March 2005 04:45 (twenty years ago)

Out of a morbid curiosity as to the Cable plot linked above I went over to the X-Axis to check out what it had to say about Weinberg's Cable run and found this:

http://www.thexaxis.com/reviews/200501.html

Paragraph 3, beginning "Over in subplots", is the one with particular relevance I think...

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 4 March 2005 08:03 (twenty years ago)

What is it with white comic book women and their burning need to be black?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 March 2005 12:49 (twenty years ago)

146. That's right, Alfred. The new Robin is none other than...SUPERMAN'S PAL JIMMY OLSEN! But first he must prove himself worthy by battling the ANGRY GHOST OF JASON TODD!

― Philip Alderman (Phil A), Friday, 4 March 2005 22:57 (twenty years ago)

I'd buy that in less than a second.

― Vic Fluro, Friday, 4 March 2005 23:09 (twenty years ago)

147. Give the Comic Book Guy an actual name.

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Saturday, 5 March 2005 02:29 (twenty years ago)

We should vote on which of these should become real stories (I just read through the list again and found at least ten that I would absolutely buy) and then send Marvel a petition. And call ourselves, like, LAMP or something (League of Admirers of Maddy Pryor, obv).

― Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 5 March 2005 03:40 (twenty years ago)

148. Maddy Prior the singer sues Maddie Pryor the comic character for copyright infringement!

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Monday, 7 March 2005 16:32 (twenty years ago)

149. There's a new Black Widow in town and she's a blonde bitch! (Oh wait, they did that.)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 7 March 2005 17:52 (twenty years ago)

I need to get something done for the new Just 1 Page anthology and I'm considering doing the Jimmy Versus Jason Todd's Ghost fight... I'll credit Philip with plot if he lets me.

― Vic Fluro, Wednesday, 9 March 2005 01:04 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, okay. I'd like to see that!

― Philip Alderman (Phil A), Wednesday, 9 March 2005 12:23 (twenty years ago)

150. Mr. Mxyzptlyk discovers the anti-life equation.

― J (Jay), Wednesday, 9 March 2005 17:28 (twenty years ago)

GONG! That's an EXCELLENT idea!

150a. The anti-life equation is ... THE SPEED FORMULA!

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 9 March 2005 18:01 (twenty years ago)

three weeks pass...

151. "No - it CAN'T be - according to this birth certificate, Uncle Ben's real surname... WAS GRIMM!"

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 31 March 2005 17:01 (twenty years ago)

(may actually have been Al's idea.)

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 31 March 2005 17:03 (twenty years ago)

I vaguely remember that one floating over someone's pint of fatman.

― Vic Fluro, Thursday, 31 March 2005 17:42 (twenty years ago)

Ha ha, still doing Jimmy vs Jason Todd's ghost.

152. Batgirl, why do you wear that full face mask. Why, if we remove it we find out that you were actual Ace The Bat-hound all along!!!

― Pete (Pete), Friday, 1 April 2005 11:48 (twenty years ago)

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