I'm Going To Review A Huge Pile Of Recent DC Comics

"Crisis of Conscience - Part One"

This issue is largely imcomprehensible. Since I read the Countdown To Infinite Crisis thing, I know about the backstory with the JLA mindwiping Batman, J'onn J'onzz, and some villains, so I wasn't totally lost with that plotline, but I couldn't help but notice that this issue did virtually nothing to advance the plot. It basically reiterated that concept from an earlier story, featuring a lot of whiney exposition about it, and then went off on several poorly articulated tangents, each involving characters who aren't fully established for the benefit of people coming into the story cold. Lucky for me I already know who Red Tornado and Star Sapphire are, but I'm not clear on why they are in the story, and a less geeky reader would have been even more confused than I definitely was. This is poorly written, badly constructed dreck designed only to please fanboys who read every current DC title. It made me feel icky. D+

Sadly, there is little room for this species in DC right now, and probably won't be for at least a year.

In the (has it been that long already?) year since Identity Crisis began, I think I've read at least six reiterations of the mindwipe scene.

"And Empires In Their Purpose"

I am deeply mystified as to why any of you would have even the slightest bit of affection for Gail Simone. I've never read anything that she's done that was even remotely charming or even competant, and this only makes my opinion of her worse. This is even less new reader friendly than the issue of JLA - it's packed full of characters who pop up and we're just supposed to know who they are, and it just seems like this really shallow attempt to please old school fanboys by parading out tons of obscure characters for no good reason. If I hadn't read the Countdown comic (which itself was barely comprehensible), this issue would have been almost entirely incoherant. And oh my god, can they please stop with the pecking order office politics bullshit? It doesn't even make logical sense - Catman and Dr. Psycho are equally obscure villains, so why does Catman get the ridicule for being c-list? Whatever! So lame. Sooooooooo lame. The dialogue is absolutely horrible and unnatural for most of the issue too. The artwork is extremely bland and the storytelling is very weak on the action scenes. Dreadful. I can't believe some of you actually liked this. D+

"Could've Been part two: Gone, Daddy, Gone"

Terrible first-person narrative. Since the lead character is mostly mute, I would assume that this is how every issue reads? Just terrible. Why is a mute person saying 'uh' all the time in her own interior monologue? The artwork is lazy and uninspired, and the action sequences are poorly laid out. This is below average and totally forgettable, but I can imagine that it would be a little better with the context of previous issues - I imagine that caring about Batgirl and the Deathstroke family would make this seem somewhat better. I still can't understand why anyone would want to pay for something this tossed-off and unentertaining. C-

I don't quite agree with Matt's feeling that everybody needs to be introduced (maybe with Shooter-era captions next to them!) to make an issue entertaining - one of the big things I enjoyed about coming to series cold was imagining who everyone might be and it was a hook to look into back issues, etc.

But I do agree that DC seems to have a house art style at the moment and that it's remorselessly competent while never exciting.

The art on VU has been buttass. I'm getting a Valiant / Malibu-esque workman-like stench from it. (I blame the tracer.)

Matthew, is there any chance you could list what your pal gave you prior to you giving everything a run-down?

"The Freelance Doctrine"

Compared to the last few comics, this was almost okay. The plot wasn't anything special and the dialogue was occasionally cringe-inducing, but the story was at least on the level of readable boilerplate. The art, however, is a total mess. I appreciate the cartoony aspect of Scott's artwork, but the guy's ambitions are far beyond his skill as a draftsman. The action sequences in particular have no flow and make very little intuitive sense in terms of layout and structure. The murky coloring job only makes matters worse. I think the colorist has the color equivalent of tone deafness. Most coloring in mainstream comics is awful, but this is just pushing it - this guy should be making some attempt to make the art pop and work in spite of Scott's weaknesses. The result is like the worst Chris Bachalo stuff times ten. C+

xpost I like not knowing what's coming up!

This makes me want to resurrect my CBR shame thread too :)

Aw, just goofin'. Yeah, go on w/ the intrigue & subterfuge. I just want to brace myself for when my heart is broken.

"Snow part one - Drift"

The story is alright, nothing too amazing, but not at all bad. There's a few awkward bits of dialogue, but there's some really good scenes too, particularly the ones with Alfred and Bruce Wayne. The artwork is excellent. I've always really liked Seth Fisher's stuff, and it's really wonderful to see him get a nice high profile gig like this. There's some really wonderful artwork in here. Fisher draws one of the best versions of the Gotham City skyline that I've ever seen in a comic. The coloring isn't bad, but the paper stock does the separations few favors - everything needs to be a little less dark. The color choices are pretty strong, though. I'd really like Fisher to work on some really good stuff someday. This story is fine for Batman, but Fisher seriously needs to work with top drawer writers. B+ (it would be a C if a lesser artist drew it.)

How dare you judge a comic book by the art!?!?!?!

Yes, Jordan, they are one and the same.

"Healing The Breach chapter II: Where the Rushing Waters Go"

There's a perfect critique of this issue in a bit of its own faux-poetic narration: "It lacks liquidity. Lacks timelessness." I sorta enjoyed the flashback bits with Linda and Alec and their botany professor (even though some of the dialogue didn't ring true to the period...), but the rest of this just seemed like incoherant hippie mysticism, and I just have no love for that sort of thing. They should dip every issue of Swamp Thing in patchouli oil just to complete the aesthetic. Why is this still being published? Bleh. C-

"The Edwina Crisis - Prologue Part Two"

I love the visual aesthetic of this series, but the writing doesn't do much for me. It's a joy to look at, and it's definitely enjoyable as a quick read. Baker clearly enjoys the cartoony possibilities of Plastic Man, but he's probably better off doing some other thing. Some of the dialogue is really funny and well-written, but sometimes it's ridiculously stilted. The stuff goofing on the current direction of mainstream DC Comics in the first two pages is amusing, but will certainly not age well. B+ (Like the Batman comic, this would be a C if it weren't for the excellent artwork.)

"The Road to Ruin - Conclusion"

Though I admire its experimental structure and the fact that Rucka actually bothered to fit in a substantial amount of plot into one issue by contemporary mainstream standards, this issue has some rather severe flaws. I absolutely hate the narration by Lois Lane. Does Rucka really need to spell out the subtext of the story so pedantically? Are comics readers that retarded? And it's just so badly written and overly reverant. Also, who the fuck is Lois talking to? It's obviously not an article she's writing, because she's talking about some major secrets. It might have worked as an article, but like this - no, not even a little bit.

The artwork is passable, but nothing special. I'm not crazy about the "let's tell the story via photos/video screens/etc" approach - it's a clever way to do it, but it's just not working with this artist and Rucka's writing doesn't sell it very well either.

Ugh. This just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I can't figure out whether the people making this stuff are just really dumb/tasteless, or whether they are dumbing this stuff down for a really awful audience.

"Family Reunion part 2 - While The Cat's Away"

Not bad. The artwork is bland, but competant - he tells a clear, coherant story, and is capable of drawing believable human expressions. Faint praise, I know, but compared to some of these other artists, this seems like a big deal. The story is simple and straightforward, and the bit at the end was effective enough. Strange thing, though - if I didn't already know the thing about Red Hood being Jason Todd, there's no way I would've ever picked that up in this issue, and the scene with Superman would've been very puzzling. This isn't great work, but it does the job it's supposed to do. B

"With A Vengeance! Chapter One: Here Come The Maximums"

WTF? This was almost entirely incoherant - we start off with a really uninspired riff on the Avengers (or more accurately, The Ultimates), Superman and Batman fight them, Superman nearly kills the fake Giant Man because he thinks the dude killed Lois Lane, then they suddenly go off to Bizarro World for no apparent reason. The issue ends with Captain Atom coming from out of nowhere, and they are all shocked to see him alive. The issue just made no sense! But somehow it was fairly enjoyable to read, mainly because McGuinness' artwork has a really fun look to it. Entertaining, but not exactly intelligable. B-

Because he's really Monarch! oh wait.

This was nice. Nothing too special, but it was at least written with a respectable level of skill and subtlety. The total lack of narration was a breath of fresh air, for sure. I just seem to remember a time when Vertigo published material that aspired to be a little more unique and interesting than this sort of thing, which seems a bit like a cable mini-series or a b-movie. I have the second issue of this here, so it will be interesting to see where this is going. B

Joe Casey is like the girl in Mean Girls who is so desperate to be part of cool clique that she devotes her entire life to staying on the edge of their concept of coolness, and realizes that she has to also be something of a coolness pioneer, so she keeps trying to drop the word "fetch," but it never sticks. The Intimates is full of ideas that seem sorta neat but just don't really work out when executed. Every page seems like he's trying to impress Grant Morrison and Warren Ellis, but he's always just a bit off the mark, as though he can't help but reveal his non-coolness in spite of himself. (What's up with the message board posts, though? I don't understand the random lack of vowels - it's not l33t and it's not exactly text messaging and it's certainly not normal misspelling unless the characters are meant to seem like total illiterates...) Still, I've got to give Casey et al points for trying. This isn't quite there, but it's at least somewhat entertaining. I'm somewhat distracted by the implausibility of Destra's outfit - she's got large breasts with no bra, and her top just sorta drapes over the sides of her breasts like flaps? It works in terms of visual design (at least on cartoon characters in 2D, where even the slightest movement won't reveal an entire breast unless the artist wants to) but not at all in concept! I've got seven more of these, so I'm going to try to be optimistic about it. B-

"Lights Out part three - Secrets and Lies"

My opinion of Geoff Johns was pretty low, but this seems to be a pretty decent example of the 80's-style superhero comics that he apparently does best. The story had a decent flow and made sense even without having read the previous episodes, though knowing about that Dr. Light/JLA mindwipe thing was somewhat essential to the story. How much is Johns going to milk that one idea? It's not even that interesting. There's a bit at the end with the new girl version of Speedy revealing that she's positive (HIV, I suppose, they are pretty coy about it...), but I suppose that is a more rewarding scene in context. Still, cliches abound, and I feel a little weird patting this guy on the back for achieving the level of moderately entertaining mediocrity. The artwork is technically strong and not unattractive, but it's still part of this bland DC house style that isn't particularly fun to look at. B-

"The Journey Within"

Ah, this was pleasant. The artwork is very appealing (that will happen when you're doing your best to replicate Chris Sprouse's style...), and the lettering by Todd Klein was absolutely wonderful. I'm kinda surprised by Joe Casey - I didn't realize that he was writing Alan Moore's comics. It seems that he's working hard to keep up to Moore's standards, and it does him a lot of favors. Somehow I get the sense that he's working harder to get the tone right, but it actually comes off pretty low-key and effortless as opposed to The Intimates. But yeah, can't go wrong with a simple, straightforward old school sci-fi story about a guy and a gorilla travelling around on the inside of a wacky robot, even if the ending is a bit of an anticlimax. B+

ONE OF ME! ONE OF ME!

"I gotta' say, lately I've fallen on the side of those who think superhero comicbooks are, for the most part, not quite delivering on a single issue level. I don't even think too much about price, I think more of the experience of reading a single superhero comicbook. On that basis, I kinda think we are lacking. It's an old gripe, but the casual reader is undoubtedly going to be hopelessly lost by most single superhero comicbooks... and I don't mean 'charmingly confused' as most of us were when we first picked up a random comicbook off the drugstore rack. I mean lost. When the covers make a point to say, 'Part 3 of Whatever,' I don't think we're doing the best job inviting in new readers of any age group. Believe me, I'm not grumpy about it. For me, I see opportunity here. The fact that the discussion is coming up yet again means there might be some change in the air."

Probably not, I actively dislike those two.

Yeah, that's probably my one gripe w/ Matthew's rundowns (or maybe it's my gripe w/ spandex-related complaints in general) - a lot of his pet peeves (re: impenetrability and quality of writing and "house style" &c.) are things that I instinctively come to terms w/ before I crack open an overpriced pamphlet (fnar), and to complain about them is to complain about the system and not the actual book. There's approximately 60 years' worth of back story that some of these books contend with & (foolishly?) attempt to reconcile - no doubt that's going to be impenetrable to even the most seasoned comic reader, and if you're unwilling to go w/ the flow (as is Matthew's wont, it seems), then of course we get D+ up the yin-yang. Inside jokes told to folks outside the joke rarely get any har-dee-har-hars.

Expecting totally accessible books featuring characters that have a wide-ranging history within a wide-ranging universe of inter-related stories is a tall order - back in the day, when there were only 12 characters to worry about, ain't no thing. A few Stan Lee asides, and away we go. Now, with hundreds of characters, and almost as many books, that's not going to be the case, especially when the publisher is EMPHASIZING the "shared world" aspect of all these characters.

The art at DC, even when it's got some character, as with McGuinness, is just really blah. The only exceptions to the rule that I can think of are most of Grant Morrison's collaborators, Seth Fisher, and Carlos Pacheco. Well, and John Byrne, but his art has been really lousy lately.

Agreed, though, there is sort of a reigning blandness to the majority of DC's art. I think they spent so much effort getting their writers all up in this shit, that they kind of neglected the art side of things. Though signing Geo-Perez to a 5 deal is a pretty good start at rehabilitation.

But I think it's also the fault of the comics market that bland art rules the roost. Why do people flock to anything Jim Lee does? He's okay, a pretty excellent draftsman, but I really don't find his art inspired in anyway. And Michael Turner, I just don't get the appeal AT ALL.

Carlos Pacheco (Superman/Batman, Green Lantern) has a very pleasing style. Particularly on the new GL book. That book has a very keen visual identity not commonly associated with Geo-Johns books. It's clean and bright, and reminds me a lot of Dave Gibbons's time on Green Lantern in the late-early-80s (like JUST BEFORE the Crisis).

As for overarcing blahitude - I imagine there's always been a yeoman-like bland consistency to the art from either of the Big Two, regardless of the era. It's the end result of trying to put out 50-60 books every month. Milgrom & Perlin & Hannigan & McLaughlin (sic?) (now sucking wind on Gil Thorp!) ruled the school for most of the 80s, blue collar style, because they got the job done & didn't cheese off Jim Shooter. I'll take competent blah (Milgrom) over crappy pizzazz (Turner) any day of the week, tho.

[x-post]

Watch it w/ those off-base similes, Matthew!

I totally agree with you on JLA, not so much on Gail Simone (don't really like her, but she's not bad either...she's just in a very dixon-like level of mediocrity), Titan's always walking the fine line between midly fun and barely readable (competent but a bit too decompressed for my taste, not many things happening in each issue). Superman's titles get worse with each revamp, and what you read wasn't an exception (one waits eagerly for Mxyzptlk appearances because even the lamest of them will be a break from the boring plot rule) I still have to get to Mnemovore and Superman/Batman, and I won't probably read the rest of them.

The writing is pretty solid - obviously, coming in at the penultimate issue of a mini-series is going to be rough, but I had a decent grasp of what was going on, and appreciated the storyline and this version of Luthor. The art isn't bad, but I found it odd that while Bermejo drew believable expressions for most of the characters, Lex Luthor himself seemed consistently blank. - B