SECRET WARS!!! Classic or Dud?

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On holiday I found some very old UK Secret Wars reprint comics, they were some of the first Marvels I ever bought.

I was thinking in a FOGEYISH way this morning that they weren't so bad, given current crossover 'best practise'. OK the art was stick-men and the writing was sketchy imitation Claremont but they did a good Doom and every issue gave you a good bit of fighting and a bit of angst. Bit of bang for your buck. That's not so awful is it?

I am not willing to defend Secret Wars II except to say that it got better towards the end, just about.

Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 15:09 (twenty years ago)

what was the deal with secret wars? can we talk about them now or are they still... SECRET?!

s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 15:20 (twenty years ago)

Thought it was a mix of both c & d.

Classic: Reed Richards insults the Hulk, who's holding a mountain off the heroes. Spider-Man's symbiote costume. The Wrecking Crew being an actual threat.

Dud: Zahji (sp?), Colossus' alien love interest. Months of Colossus mopery followed, and the enjoyable Kitty Pryde / Colossus romance never recovered.

scamperingalpaca (Chris Hill), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 15:25 (twenty years ago)

The action figure line was better than DC's Super Powers figures.

Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 15:27 (twenty years ago)

Also classic: The Beyonder sans MULLET PERM.

Also dud: The Molecule Man / Volcana romance. Jim Shooter shd stick to pissing off John Byrne.

David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 15:37 (twenty years ago)

Isn't Spiderman's symbiote costume actually VENOM? I don't understand how this can be classic.

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 15:41 (twenty years ago)

The MM/Volcana romance was a pioneering depiction of co-dependence in comics!

Yes Colossus as horndog was poor.

Wasnt Kitty 13 and Colossus 19 though when they were dating?

Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 15:43 (twenty years ago)

Let us not discuss The Love That Dare Not Gain The Attention Of Cultural Watchdogs.

David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 15:55 (twenty years ago)

Seriously though, I always half assumed that the whole clunky Secret Wars romance thing was a "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE" move by Jim Shooter aware that parental eyebrows might raise at the innocent love of the simple-hearted farmboy and his 'Katya'.

Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 16:01 (twenty years ago)

Of course, it's great that Shooter killed the romance just as Katya was turning legal. SO LAME.

Also - that Spider Woman. What the hell?

David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 16:14 (twenty years ago)

I quite liked her. What was wrong with the old one though?

Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 16:19 (twenty years ago)

Dunno. Maybe a blonde / brunette issue? And I had no prob w/ the new one, either. But after SW, she was relegated to "fill-in ish of Iron Man drawn by Tom Morgan" status. And there was talk of a 4-issue mini (BECAUSE DANNY FINGEROTH DEMANDED IT), but that never materialized.

David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 16:22 (twenty years ago)

OH YES IT DID. Cos my friend John bought it.

Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 16:23 (twenty years ago)

http://comiccovers.com/image.php?dir=Spider-Woman%20[Marvel]%20Mini%201

Thigh/waist ratio-itis ahoy!

Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 16:26 (twenty years ago)

Lots of hints about what was happening in the actual books and character work sparking off same - Hulk occasionallymoans about getting stupider, Hawkeye reveals marriage, Jim Rhodes grins madly and thinks about how great he is while everyone else starts thinking "Why, Iron Man is almost like a different man! How could it be possible for an employee in a salaried position, whose face has never been seen, to change his identity as though at the whim of some human resources department? It's uncanny and I am afraid!" Expertly played as flavour rather than essential plot point.

Vic Fluro, Wednesday, 17 August 2005 16:28 (twenty years ago)

Sweet fancy Moses, Tom! That must've been at least five years after they dropped the COMING SOON teaser!

David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 16:30 (twenty years ago)

Also - "my friend John"? FESS UP TOM!

David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 16:31 (twenty years ago)

I have just remembered Magneto attempting to seduce the Wasp by showing her a landscape full of writhing alien worms!

I am trying to remember whether the Mutant Master of Magnetism was quite so libidinal in his own comics, I vaguely remember him being at it with some woman who owned a yacht, and later on he tried it on with Rogue. Supervillains rarely have love lives, come to think of it.

Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 16:33 (twenty years ago)

Magneto does that thing of forcibly snogging the Wasp, and at first she doesn't like it - but then she does! BUT IT IS ALL A RUSE, even the bit where it implies that they totally do it!

Could you get away with that even five years later?

Vic Fluro, Wednesday, 17 August 2005 16:37 (twenty years ago)

Actually, I really liked all the Doom machinations. Especially the issue / scenes where he confronts the Beyonder and gets cosmic'd into a biological exploded diagram.

David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 16:41 (twenty years ago)

Also, nowadays the Wasp has a Pym-sized dildo, and She-Hulk jumping Juggernaut's bones (complete w/ broken plaster and bedframe)! You've come a long way, baby!

David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 16:43 (twenty years ago)

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Boobtastic Nymphoville

David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 16:46 (twenty years ago)

Did Kitty and Colossus ever date? I seem to remember it being a mutual crush, and at a "will they ever admit they love each other?" stage. Even with their age difference, it worked for me, since she was more intelligent and feistier, while he was a good-hearted, naive beefcake. And like David says above, it's not like they'd have shown consumation back then - there'd be a scene of Kitty and Peter having a picnic, while the team played softball. Then a panel of leaves falling to the ground...

And yup, the symbiote became Venom. And Carnage, etc. I liked the costume change, the inexhaustible webbing, etc. Is Venom not seen as a good thing? He never really struck me as a negative. Compared to the Clone Saga, I can deal with a nutty, homicidal villain.

scamperingalpaca (Chris Hill), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 17:03 (twenty years ago)

Oh yes, I forgot modern comics existed for a moment.

Vic Fluro, Wednesday, 17 August 2005 17:19 (twenty years ago)

Vic Fluro: Master of Sass!

Venom's biggest crime was being popular (and getting beat into the ground as a result). If he was used judiciously (like the Goblin was, once upon a time), it would've been fine. But then you had Venom and Punisher and Wolverine guest-starring in 30-part mega-events, and shit got stale.

David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 17:56 (twenty years ago)

ten months pass...
http://www.secrettones.com/sonneywolferine marvel super event nothing ever the same again not for kids anymore. [URL=http://www.marvel.com/latestmarketingploy]infinite civil war[/URL]: download hulk-on-building action FREE. [url=http://www.marvel.com]spiderman’s costume with the extra appendages[/url]

secret tones free, Tuesday, 20 June 2006 00:48 (nineteen years ago)

SECRET TONES

s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 02:01 (nineteen years ago)

A work of genius and also a saddening comment on our times. Now let's all start talking about Secret Wars again.

Vic F (Vic Fluro), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 09:08 (nineteen years ago)

You know there's a Marvel mini called BEYOND starting in a month or so that features a character from BEYOND doing stuff to BEYOND-the-pale folks like Venom & Firebird, right? (Written by JLU major domo Dwayne McDuffie!)

David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 12:43 (nineteen years ago)

Hurm. Venom because of the Secret Wars connection?

Vic F (Vic Fluro), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 13:13 (nineteen years ago)

Your breathless descriptions of Secret Wars make it sound REALLY REALLY GOOD.

chap who would dare to be a nerd, not a geek (chap), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 17:17 (nineteen years ago)

Venom and Punisher and Wolverine

I swear I bought an issue of some miniseries that had these three characters in it at some point in the early 90s. I know there was a Wolverine/Punisher thing, at least.

mike h. (mike h.), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 20:21 (nineteen years ago)

I know there was a Wolverine/Punisher/Ghost Rider thing (Hearts of Darkness??? I think "darkness was involved - but isn't it always?) - I got my copy signed by John Romita JR. at a con back when I was twelve.

Richard Baez (Johnny Logic), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 00:48 (nineteen years ago)

I'm certain that I remember some mid-90s thing with Wolverine and Punisher and Cable. I'm pretty sure there were shoulder pads. Definitely some gritting of teeth. Probably crosshatching, as well...

I'm not much for Secret Wars, but I'll back Secret Wars II. A much more interesting idea (the Beyonder explores omnipotence as it relates to Everyday Life) with much better execution.

Deric W. Haircare (Deric W. Haircare), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 06:46 (nineteen years ago)

doesn't the first issue of Secret Wars 2 have an unlikely 'satire' of steve gerber?

Ward Fowler (Ward Fowler), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 10:57 (nineteen years ago)

Hearts of Darkness is Wolverine, Ghost Rider, and Punisher versus Mephisto's son, who employs them to kill mephisto(?). I have it--I'm not sure why, but I think because of JR JR's art. But it's sort of one long ridiculous fight scene. I think Mephisto's son picks them because they alone among the marvel universe have dark hearts. I think it was within a few years of the Midnight Suns Marvel horror arc.

asdf, Wednesday, 21 June 2006 15:28 (nineteen years ago)

If you like the JRJR art and would like to see more of Blackheart (Mephisto's son) in a much less lame book, might I recommend picking up Ann Nocenti's run on Daredevil? It's quite good, and most assuredly not just one long fight scene. JRJR did the art for a good long while (250-282, by the looks of it...although Nocenti's run is from 236-291).

[/OFF TOPIC]

I don't recall, Ward. It's been a while since I read it. But, as it was written by Shooter while he was boss and as that was a time when Gerber was all about sticking it to Marvel, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

Deric W. Haircare (Deric W. Haircare), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 16:01 (nineteen years ago)

I've always heard good things about Nocenti's run on Daredevil.

PLUS: I had no idea he (Blackheart) was a pre-existing figure in Marvel continuity. I just figured he was another example of Marvel doing it's old "generic demon/alien/higher being #848902.87".

Richard Baez (Johnny Logic), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 16:20 (nineteen years ago)

The only thing I remember from Secret Wars 2 was when Spider Man showed the Beyonder how to take a leak.

Other than that I hated the art and thought the story was snoozerville. But I haven't read it since I was 12. I guess I'd read it again.

Sparkle Motion's Rising Force, Wednesday, 21 June 2006 16:23 (nineteen years ago)

Al Milgrom (sans Joe Sinnott) is Death To Fun Things.

David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 16:29 (nineteen years ago)

Well, SWII wasn't typical superhero fare or particularly exciting per se. The Beyonder was THE character and everyone else was pretty much secondary. And the whole story is just him being an enormous fuckup. I can't imagine liking it as a kid, but I thought it was a pretty good read as an adult.

Deric W. Haircare (Deric W. Haircare), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 16:33 (nineteen years ago)

I have a SWI set and only a few SWII issues, but SWII always seemed more interesting than SWI. SWI was basically a 12-issue long WWF match on an alien planet and SWII, while boring, had a lot of goofy touches, like Molecule Man basically being like "Beyonder, get off my lawn!" when Beyond abolished Death and Beyonder abolishing Death. I may think this b/c I haven't read very much of SWII.

I've been meaning to check out that Nocenti run--ther'es no trade, is there?

asdf, Wednesday, 21 June 2006 17:28 (nineteen years ago)

"I've been meaning to check out that Nocenti run--ther'es no trade, is there?"

There's a trade of the first few Nocenti/Romita issues, including the one where Typhoid Mary first appeared. It's good stuff. I think the book is one of the "Daredevil: Legends" collections.

James datapanik (voltstax), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 17:53 (nineteen years ago)

Nocenti's DD issues are generally cheap cheap cheap. I think I picked up the remainder of her run for something like $20-$30. Which is about the same price as the Typhoid Mary trade.

Looks like they're currently on sale over at mycomicshop.com.

Deric W. Haircare (Deric W. Haircare), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 18:55 (nineteen years ago)

"Nocenti's DD issues are generally cheap cheap cheap."

Absolutely true, with the major exception of the one where Mary first appears (#254), which is usualy priced much higher. For that reason, I never read it until the trade paperback was published, even though I had most of the rest of Nocenti's run.

James datapanik (voltstax), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 19:06 (nineteen years ago)

agreed that milgrom is a horrible artist, but isn't he inked by steve leialoha on SW2? leialoha can make almost any artist look gd

has sw2 been collected?

Ward Fowler (Ward Fowler), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 19:27 (nineteen years ago)

Not as far as I know. But I'm pretty sure that's another one that can be picked up for cheap. Because nobody likes it. Ha.

Deric W. Haircare (Deric W. Haircare), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 21:28 (nineteen years ago)

two years pass...

Secret Wars II Omnibus, featuring an assload of crossovers, to be released in December. I am perversely delighted. Sadly enough, it was the only thing in Marvel's December solicitations that so much as raised an eyebrow.

Deric W. Haircare, Thursday, 18 September 2008 03:16 (seventeen years ago)

Holy shit Secret Wars did ONE YEAR LATER 10+ years before DC did! And pulled it off!

David R., Thursday, 18 September 2008 03:39 (seventeen years ago)

Secret Wars was probably the first big comic event from my childhood. I recently reread it, and was surprised how much good stuff was in it. I agree with most of people upthread what's dud about it: Magneto & Wasp, Colossus & Zahji, etc. Also, it felt some of the villains had no function in the story (The Lizard, Dr. Octopus, etc.), they were included just because they were major villains. However, I did like the role reversal of the Molecule Man & Volcana romance, with MM being this insecure weakling Volcana wants to protect (even though his powers are superior to hers).

Doom of course was great in Secret Wars, easily the most interesting character there. Plus his master/servant interaction with Klaw was nice, Klaw's lines were often quite funny. I can't remember seeing Klaw in any other comics after that though... Whose villain was he anyway?

Secret Wars was also the beginning of good Magneto, right? I liked Magneto more when he was ambiguous like that, which is why I wasn't too impressed on Morrison's take on him.

Tuomas, Thursday, 18 September 2008 07:08 (seventeen years ago)

I read the first Secret Wars, but I thought it wasn't very good, either the story or the artwork. The symbiote costume and ensuing storyline was the best thing to come out of the series.

Crisis on Infinite Earths on the other hand was an epic and helped to get me hooked on DC Comics. That series was some true gateway drugs.

earlnash, Friday, 19 September 2008 00:21 (seventeen years ago)

Agreed with Tuomas about good late 80s Mags being really good. I think but so much stupid crap had happened eventually (see: Joseph) that the character really needed that reconstruction that Morrison did - it also fit in well with his overall themes for his run in New X-Men. I actually didn't mind it much at all, and when they immediately did that 180 on him, making him and Chuck "Genosha buddies" it felt kind of false. But I don't know what they've done with him lately.

I actually want to revisit Secret Wars I too. CoIE was something I never read until a year or two ago and I was really surprised how well it holds up - dozens of characters, and even if you don't know any of them the story is remarkably accessible and gripping.

Nhex, Friday, 19 September 2008 01:37 (seventeen years ago)

lol i had totally forgotten about this dude


how to TASTE beer. how to TALK about beer. (Jordan), Friday, 19 September 2008 15:10 (seventeen years ago)

Secret Wars II convinced my 10 year old self to become agnostic. The Beyonder blew my mind, he WAS the old-testament GOD: capricious, venal, selfish and greedy.
Not sure if it would holf up to a re-read, but in my memories Secret Wars II was amazing.

Chelvis, Tuesday, 23 September 2008 04:41 (seventeen years ago)

holf = hold

Chelvis, Tuesday, 23 September 2008 04:42 (seventeen years ago)

Secret Wars, in the UK editions, was the first comic series that I read religiously.
I bought the trade paperback out of nostalgia last year and it just didn't feel as cool as it did when I was a kid.

treefell, Tuesday, 23 September 2008 13:31 (seventeen years ago)

Secret Wars is awesome. I LOVE the Molecule Man plot! The guy is like the most powerful dude of the MU-Earth and basically he just pines after his girl and wants to stay at home and garden, and somehow this ends up making him a villain through almost no real deliberate effort of his own! I also love how he discovers the real extent of his powers through couples therapy. "My God, I've just been holding myself back all this time because I was afraid! I can control organic molecules! I can do anything!"

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 24 September 2008 15:25 (seventeen years ago)

oh man Secret Wars was NINETEEN EIGHTY FOUR?!?!?!?

David R., Wednesday, 24 September 2008 15:30 (seventeen years ago)

Clearly the only way to make a company-wide crossover event work:

1) have the EIC write it
2) have the EIC force everyone to kowtow to his dictates

I hope Dan Didio is (not) reading.

David R., Wednesday, 24 September 2008 15:35 (seventeen years ago)


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