Fuck you, Santa

We took our sons to the mall to have their pictures taken with Santa. Because they are now heavy, I had one of them sitting on my shoulders instead of carrying him so that he couldn't run off. This inspired Santa to tell me about a product called the "Daddle", which is basically a saddle you can wear so your kid can ride you like a pony. In the midst of telling me this, Santa informed me that there was a cinch involved so I'd better stop stealing his cookies if I wanted to wear it.

What the FUCK, Santa? Bite me.

BTW the "Daddle" looks like some straight-up ponyplay bullshit:

http://www.amazon.com/Cashel-Daddle-Saddle-Child-Western/dp/B002WVJA5G

I'm pretty much ready to tear down all of Christmas now.

"hilarious" amazon reviews

194 of 214 people found the following review helpful
A whole lot of fun, but comes at a price....

By C. Castro on March 27, 2014
The mane reason I purchased the daddle was to try and restore my relationship with my father. He neighglected me as a child, so you could say that our relationship was less than stable. I figured with the Daddle that we would be trotting our way to a restored bond. Gallup polls indicated that this was a useful tool to bring two people together, so I was on board. My father and I had such a blast horsing around with each other! As each day passed, we become more and more anxious to strap on the daddle and have another adventure.

We were out playing in a field 3 months ago when tragedy struck. While riding my father, he sprained an ankle very badly. I knew at that moment that he wasn't going to be able to give me rides anymore, so with a long face I pulled out my .22 and put him out of his misery.

I truly appreciate those moments that we got to spend together. It was great while it lasted.

I mean, I am not a pony so why would I buy a saddle so my kids could ride me like one, and secondly WHY IS THE MALL SANTA CALLING ME FAT

The suit makes them feel invincible

no wonder the gifts are free, he just takes them back when he feels like it

https://www.yoursourceone.com/columbia_basin/wenatchee-porch-pirate-arrested-in-stolen-santa-costume-during-crime-spree/article_8c4a9e06-ba56-11ef-8e85-bbc5602e49bb.html

Santa Claws(back)

My god, the Daddle

Santa definitely owned a piece of Daddle