ASS GOBLIN

let us trace the etymology and history of this endearing term

Exhibit A, 2009:
https://anythinghorror.wordpress.com/2010/06/18/book-review-ass-goblins-of-auschwitz-by-cameron-pierce-2009/

Earliest tweets I can find:

New Swear: ass goblin

— swearalot (@swearalotdotcom) November 11, 2007

Fuck retail in its god awful throat! Everytime i try to do work i'm stuck dealing with an ass goblin's life altering problems.

— mumblewave (@Post_Goth) January 4, 2008

over-paid ass goblin - bwahahaha

— BridgeIU (@BridgeIU) April 18, 2008

Sounds a little like “ass gobblin’,” I don’t know

no it's a goblin that lives up your ass and makes you rude

What's Your Favourite Current Insult?

Ass goblin
Knob
Nick Carter

― Aaron W, Tuesday, December 3, 2002

Old-timey cussin'!

ASS GOBLIN. One who dates either Ben Affleck or Bea Arthur.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, August 14, 2003

A 1998 Usenet post with the subject line The Monster Ass Goblin Manager at Publix

Vesper Aschenbach
Oct 20, 1998, 2:00:00 AM

Recently, while driving behindEckerds, we saw a bunch of cabinets from
the old photo developing labin the store. We couldn't get them then,
but we asked when they were to be picked up so we could borrow a truck
to go get them. No one new, so we asked the manager t the Publix next
door--explaining why we wanted to know--and he saidin a most uncivil
tone. "You can't go back there, that's private property. Besides, we
don't use dumpsters, we have a compactor that can only be accessed from
inside the store, so you won't be able to get anything from us."
What I was thinking: "What a monster ass goblin! Is what you throw out
so precious and secret? Perhaps there are some sensitive documents in
there on your racial and sexual discrimination lawsuits, whitebread!
Perhaps you own land that you're trying to sell to the city as a
landfill. Perhaps you use the cotents of your compactor to fill that
void in your exceptionally hollow gourd! Perhaps you should just go
back to your little breakroom and play your mighty power trip on those
poor sixteen year olds !

What I said: Well, that's not why I asked, but thanks anyway.

Anyway. There's my rant. May the fleas of a thousand goats migrate to
his armpits!

Really, that's it. I just get riled up over rudeness.

Oxford Goblin Dictionary