http://www.peopleplayuk.org.uk/images/objects/cropped2/300/sch200304251358-006.jpg
― HI DERE, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:40 (eighteen years ago)
1. Too many vaginas.
― HI DERE, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:41 (eighteen years ago)
1. PENIS SURPRISE
xpost fine then
― John Justen, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:41 (eighteen years ago)
I think too many vaginas would be a total surprise for a penis, possibly a welcome one.
― HI DERE, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:42 (eighteen years ago)
3. Chest hair
4. Drinks tea from old 40 bottles.
5. Wears chastity belt around neck as a choker.
― HI DERE, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:43 (eighteen years ago)
6. Does not extend pinky finger when giving sailors handjobs by the docks.
7. permanent 5 oclock shadow
― John Justen, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:43 (eighteen years ago)
8. dirty whore
― John Justen, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:44 (eighteen years ago)
9. Chapped coinslot
― HI DERE, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:44 (eighteen years ago)
4. hysteria untreatable
― remy bean, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:44 (eighteen years ago)
12. silk blouse collection has fallen into disuse
― Sara R-C, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:44 (eighteen years ago)
13. polygamist
― remy bean, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:45 (eighteen years ago)
14. third nipple
― John Justen, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:45 (eighteen years ago)
15. on HIS FACE
― John Justen, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:46 (eighteen years ago)
16. clockwork-driven electromechanical "ennervator" seems curiously dildoish
― remy bean, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:46 (eighteen years ago)
17. fourth nipple
― HI DERE, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:46 (eighteen years ago)
18. not independent, doesn't throw her hands up at me.
^^^hi I have come to your future time from 2002.
― jessie monster, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:46 (eighteen years ago)
19. refused "husband stitch"
17a) on his third nipple
20) milky discharge
― remy bean, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:47 (eighteen years ago)
21. hyperactive gag reflex
― John Justen, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:47 (eighteen years ago)
re: 17a, remy knows what time it is
― HI DERE, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:47 (eighteen years ago)
22. this threads position on google for "john justen"
― John Justen, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:48 (eighteen years ago)
23. Changed name from "Jaaaaan" to "John" (same pronunciation, but the former is clearly the name of a respectable woman, while the latter is not)
― Sara R-C, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:49 (eighteen years ago)
24. too many awkward "haircuts" during her "wild years"
― John Justen, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:50 (eighteen years ago)
25. poorly maintained pubic landscaping
26. pubic topiary
― remy bean, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:51 (eighteen years ago)
(never a good call)
26a. looks like Pac-Man with fangs
― HI DERE, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:51 (eighteen years ago)
27. has asshairs laced together like a butt-corset
― HI DERE, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:52 (eighteen years ago)
28. supports a womans right to choose, but not in instances of incest
― John Justen, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:53 (eighteen years ago)
29. butt-corset slices and dices poos like a cookie cutter
― remy bean, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:54 (eighteen years ago)
30. trick knee causes unfortunate "pimp strut"
― John Justen, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:54 (eighteen years ago)
31. replaced teeth with baleen; breath smells of whale
32. hence omnipresent dissappointed sailors.
― John Justen, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:56 (eighteen years ago)
33. banned from naval bases under alias "Our Lady of the Blue-balls"
― remy bean, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:58 (eighteen years ago)
34. moist jorts
― HI DERE, Thursday, 7 February 2008 18:59 (eighteen years ago)
35. barren womb
― John Justen, Thursday, 7 February 2008 19:01 (eighteen years ago)
36. refuses to subscribe to Good Housekeeping and Ladie's Home Journal
― Sara R-C, Thursday, 7 February 2008 19:07 (eighteen years ago)
37. ties to rats warren known as Hastings, MN
― John Justen, Thursday, 7 February 2008 19:34 (eighteen years ago)
38. Has ermine tits.
― HI DERE, Thursday, 7 February 2008 19:58 (eighteen years ago)
39. Those photos he sold to R Kelly
― Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Thursday, 7 February 2008 20:12 (eighteen years ago)
40. fallen arches prevent him from wearing ladylike pumps; must instead opt for orthotic clogs
― Sara R-C, Thursday, 7 February 2008 21:32 (eighteen years ago)
41. still manages to work the stripper pole in orthotic clogs
― HI DERE, Thursday, 7 February 2008 21:46 (eighteen years ago)
^^^ This imagery is going to haunt us all, I suspect
― Sara R-C, Thursday, 7 February 2008 21:55 (eighteen years ago)
not as much as the skid-marks left on the pole by the four leaky ermine nipples
― remy bean, Thursday, 7 February 2008 22:05 (eighteen years ago)
goodbye sweet dreams. hello nightmares.
― Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Thursday, 7 February 2008 22:55 (eighteen years ago)
20.a smell discharge
― Rubyredd, Thursday, 7 February 2008 23:11 (eighteen years ago)
LET'S KEEP THIS GOING PPL, IT IS SARA'S BIRTHDAY AFTER ALL AND THIS CAN BE OUR PRESENT TO HER
― HI DERE, Friday, 8 February 2008 14:41 (eighteen years ago)
42. opposable middle fingers
― HI DERE, Friday, 8 February 2008 14:49 (eighteen years ago)
43. racist kneecaps
― HI DERE, Friday, 8 February 2008 15:55 (eighteen years ago)
xpost
At the end of the infamous summer of 1991 I made a list entitled "What We Learned (Summer 1991)." Number 4 is "John doesn't even have opposable thumbs."
― Sara R-C, Friday, 8 February 2008 16:27 (eighteen years ago)
Was #1 "Don't post flyers about kidnapping cute Scandanavian kids with real phone numbers on them"?
― HI DERE, Friday, 8 February 2008 16:35 (eighteen years ago)
Ha ha, no, but it is referenced on the list.
― Sara R-C, Friday, 8 February 2008 16:38 (eighteen years ago)
44. hyperactive knife-a-hobo reflex
― HI DERE, Friday, 8 February 2008 18:47 (eighteen years ago)
45. occasionally malfunctions into give a hobo a knife
― remy bean, Friday, 8 February 2008 18:49 (eighteen years ago)
lol, 22 otm
― HI DERE, Thursday, 28 February 2008 03:31 (seventeen years ago)
22 STILL OTM
― Ca-hoot na na na oh oh (HI DERE), Tuesday, 9 December 2008 22:32 (seventeen years ago)
46. totes preggers
― Ca-hoot na na na oh oh (HI DERE), Friday, 12 December 2008 23:12 (seventeen years ago)
(despite #35)
― Ca-hoot na na na oh oh (HI DERE), Friday, 12 December 2008 23:20 (seventeen years ago)
(better him than me)
― Sara R-C, Saturday, 13 December 2008 06:47 (seventeen years ago)
I don't read ITR often enough!!
― james "blount" ulmer (Curt1s Stephens), Thursday, 18 December 2008 16:31 (seventeen years ago)
we are a hidden gem of gentle femininity in the rough trade that is ILX
― VISION QUEST TO KNOCK YOU UP (John Justen), Thursday, 18 December 2008 16:45 (seventeen years ago)
I wonder what that picture was
― he does NOT have the training (HI DERE), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 21:35 (fifteen years ago)
― We doin' fly tippin' on ABSO's, fly tippin' somethingsomething ho's (jjjusten), Thursday, 22 July 2010 04:47 (fifteen years ago)
47. marrying a CHICK
― We doin' fly tippin' on ABSO's, fly tippin' somethingsomething ho's (jjjusten), Thursday, 22 July 2010 04:52 (fifteen years ago)
Are you saying that lezbions can't be respectable women? No respectable woman would ever say that, imo. 48.
― StanM, Thursday, 22 July 2010 07:54 (fifteen years ago)
# whatever
has yet to be compromised by vampyr
― Has admitted to being Irish in order to have sex (darraghmac), Thursday, 22 July 2010 11:18 (fifteen years ago)
^^^ strongly suspect this is untrue
― Sara R-C, Thursday, 22 July 2010 14:28 (fifteen years ago)
yeah gotta agree with Sara here
― he does NOT have the training (HI DERE), Thursday, 22 July 2010 14:28 (fifteen years ago)
well iyo's was it willing, unwilling or seduction? this is important when deciding the quality of lady with which we are dealing ime
― Has admitted to being Irish in order to have sex (darraghmac), Thursday, 22 July 2010 15:06 (fifteen years ago)
Is there a vote for "all of the above?"
― Sara R-C, Thursday, 22 July 2010 16:15 (fifteen years ago)
ok there may be some small overlap possible btwn 'seduction' and the other two, but rly it can't have been both willing & unwilling unless yr contention is that jjusten is, aside from not being a respectable woman, schizophrenic
― Has admitted to being Irish in order to have sex (darraghmac), Thursday, 22 July 2010 16:18 (fifteen years ago)
no, no, I was thinking of differing occasions
― Sara R-C, Thursday, 22 July 2010 16:23 (fifteen years ago)
not that I'm an expert on John and vampyrs, just have my suspicions
"unwilling" = least likely scenario, tbh
yeah well i was including it to in anticipation of a spirited defence from the lady herself, i didn't want to leave myself open to accusations of prejudice
― Has admitted to being Irish in order to have sex (darraghmac), Thursday, 22 July 2010 16:25 (fifteen years ago)
wait by "been compromised" do you mean "got boned by"
― We doin' fly tippin' on ABSO's, fly tippin' somethingsomething ho's (jjjusten), Thursday, 22 July 2010 16:25 (fifteen years ago)
cuz yknow if having too much to drink at a college party and then getting nailed by nosferatu behind the athletic fields equipment shed makes me a criminal well then LOCK ME UP MR PURITAN DORIGHTALOT
― We doin' fly tippin' on ABSO's, fly tippin' somethingsomething ho's (jjjusten), Thursday, 22 July 2010 16:27 (fifteen years ago)
ok well i think we have an answer to the original question thank you for yr time mr justen
― Has admitted to being Irish in order to have sex (darraghmac), Thursday, 22 July 2010 16:27 (fifteen years ago)
as you can guess we've had a lot of interest for the part of ms golightly and we'll be in touch
― Has admitted to being Irish in order to have sex (darraghmac), Thursday, 22 July 2010 16:28 (fifteen years ago)
lolz
― Sara R-C, Thursday, 22 July 2010 16:30 (fifteen years ago)
am doing my damnedest to link this thread to the arab/jew rape case thread, purely through thursday evening boredom
― Has admitted to being Irish in order to have sex (darraghmac), Thursday, 22 July 2010 16:32 (fifteen years ago)
okay, you really ARE bored!
― Sara R-C, Thursday, 22 July 2010 16:45 (fifteen years ago)
got hours to work up iirc.
― Has admitted to being Irish in order to have sex (darraghmac), Thursday, 22 July 2010 16:47 (fifteen years ago)
okay how did I forget about THIS?
― Sara R-C, Tuesday, 1 March 2011 06:38 (fourteen years ago)
wait i think that unmarried at 38 makes me a not respectable woman right? i mean last chance obv
― O_o-O_0-o_O (jjjusten), Tuesday, 1 March 2011 07:20 (fourteen years ago)
still top google result for me btw iirc
― O_o-O_0-o_O (jjjusten), Tuesday, 1 March 2011 07:30 (fourteen years ago)
we all win
― goth barbershop quartet (DJP), Tuesday, 1 March 2011 13:06 (fourteen years ago)
Good work, everyone.
― Sara R-C, Tuesday, 1 March 2011 22:29 (fourteen years ago)
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
31. replaced teeth with baleen; breath smells of whale― remy bean, Thursday, February 7, 2008 1:54 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― remy bean, Thursday, February 7, 2008 1:54 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
this is maybe my favorite part of the thread
― goth barbershop quartet (DJP), Tuesday, 1 March 2011 23:18 (fourteen years ago)
49. see here: IF JESUS GOT A FRESH START THAN IDIOTS CAN TOO MOLLIFY THREAD MARK WHATEVER YEAR THIS AMEN
― Dreaded Burrito Gang (DJP), Friday, 29 April 2011 21:20 (fourteen years ago)
jjusten! Have you seen C.H.U.D. 2? I have, and if you haven't, you should!
― sarahel, Wednesday, 4 May 2011 16:05 (fourteen years ago)
i dont think i have actually
― blbllbllllllrlrrghgghhh (jjjusten), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 21:13 (fourteen years ago)
the subtitle is: Bud the Chud
he has a theme song!
i was actually sober when i watched it, but i strongly believe, based on years of experience, that CHUD 2 would be stone cold classic after several drinks.
― sarahel, Wednesday, 4 May 2011 21:58 (fourteen years ago)
The CHUDs look like zombies, and not like CHUDs - but there is a poodle CHUD - and the climax takes place at a high school Halloween dance where Wall of Voodoo is performing
― sarahel, Wednesday, 4 May 2011 22:00 (fourteen years ago)
there is a poodle CHUD
wait, waht
― Dreaded Burrito Gang (DJP), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 22:03 (fourteen years ago)
it kinda violates the laws and logic of CHUD-hood set out in the original and in this very sequel
― sarahel, Wednesday, 4 May 2011 22:06 (fourteen years ago)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHdgJwKADJg
― sarahel, Wednesday, 4 May 2011 22:09 (fourteen years ago)
finally someone made an honest woman out of you
― Tom Skerritt Mustache Ride (DJP), Tuesday, 24 May 2011 14:55 (fourteen years ago)
Who knew this could happen?!
― Sara R-C, Tuesday, 24 May 2011 18:00 (fourteen years ago)