ROLLING THINGS THAT ILX AS A WHOLE MISTAKENLY BELIEVES TO BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN MOLLIFYING LINGBERT

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1. Presidential Primaries

John Justen, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:13 (seventeen years ago)

2. Chicago (the city, not the important scientific determination of which of their 31 albums named "CHICAGO" is the best)

John Justen, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:14 (seventeen years ago)

3. What white people like (note: not to be confused with ILM as a whole)

John Justen, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:15 (seventeen years ago)

4. Lindsey Lohans legal status for the purposes of sexing

John Justen, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:16 (seventeen years ago)

mollifying lingbert is a privilege, not an obligation.

estela, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:26 (seventeen years ago)

this is true

John Justen, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:30 (seventeen years ago)

i felt we should observe the foibles of the unwashed masses from atop our lofty position in internet society

John Justen, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:31 (seventeen years ago)

this is v true.

sorry if i sounded a bit lecture-ish but you would like my intentions, i was aiming for ultimate mollification.

estela, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:35 (seventeen years ago)

!

jergïns, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:37 (seventeen years ago)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ultimate_Nullifier

El Tomboto, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:38 (seventeen years ago)

I bet the Ultimate Mollifier would be more effective in most situations but hey, Galactus, you know

El Tomboto, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:38 (seventeen years ago)

fifteen levels of ultimate mollification

El Tomboto, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:42 (seventeen years ago)

31 flavors of ultimate mollification

John Justen, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:43 (seventeen years ago)

is this the part of the thread where hi dere makes a sperm joke?

jergïns, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:46 (seventeen years ago)

what part of what thread is not that part of all threads?

El Tomboto, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:50 (seventeen years ago)

i was half hoping someone would say, 'good gollification, miss mollification,' but no one did.

estela, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:51 (seventeen years ago)

i am glad you said it, estela. i believe you have now accomplished what you term "ultimate mollification." if that doesn't mollify lindberg, then he is unmollifyable.

lxy, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:54 (seventeen years ago)

it is a terrible thought that lingbert could be some kind of bottomless pit, i won't believe it, not yet.

estela, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:58 (seventeen years ago)

is it "unmollifiable," "inmollifiable," or "non-mollifiable?"

El Tomboto, Friday, 22 February 2008 00:05 (seventeen years ago)

also, I have found a picture which is undoubtedly lingbert:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c6/Themagusoriginal.png

El Tomboto, Friday, 22 February 2008 00:05 (seventeen years ago)

that is considerably less wistful than my image of lingbert.

estela, Friday, 22 February 2008 00:22 (seventeen years ago)

presumably we differ greatly on the issue of his mollificability

El Tomboto, Friday, 22 February 2008 00:25 (seventeen years ago)

i am not usually the one with the hopeful vision.

estela, Friday, 22 February 2008 00:30 (seventeen years ago)

what, like this?
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/ec/Quasar_%28comics%29.jpg/250px-Quasar_%28comics%29.jpg

El Tomboto, Friday, 22 February 2008 00:43 (seventeen years ago)

immollifiable, perhaps? ILX spellchecker doesn't like any of them.

of course nor does ILX spellchecker like ILX or spellchecker.

lxy, Friday, 22 February 2008 00:47 (seventeen years ago)

oh my god i hope ligbernt is lurking to see these pictures!

lxy, Friday, 22 February 2008 00:48 (seventeen years ago)

yes.

estela, Friday, 22 February 2008 01:01 (seventeen years ago)

i hope he isn't sitting glumly in class, his star lined cape folded up neatly and stowed in his backpack.

estela, Friday, 22 February 2008 01:27 (seventeen years ago)

SO SAD.

lxy, Friday, 22 February 2008 01:32 (seventeen years ago)

i can't bear it.

estela, Friday, 22 February 2008 01:34 (seventeen years ago)

girls getting emotional over emotionless boys

jergïns, Friday, 22 February 2008 01:50 (seventeen years ago)

i wish i had recorded lingbert's "I have never been in a fight, I have never been angry" speech before i punched him

jergïns, Friday, 22 February 2008 01:51 (seventeen years ago)

i would like to hear a detailed account of this exciting event.

estela, Friday, 22 February 2008 01:55 (seventeen years ago)

jergins, this has nothing to do with the real lingbret. it's the star-lined cape that is so wrenching.

lxy, Friday, 22 February 2008 02:05 (seventeen years ago)

ilxor.com is the 3rd result when you google lingbert!

El Tomboto, Friday, 22 February 2008 02:14 (seventeen years ago)

i cannot take credit for that

lxy, Friday, 22 February 2008 02:20 (seventeen years ago)

it is the first result when you google el tomboto!

then a bit later comes this:

Did you mean to search for: el tomato

estela, Friday, 22 February 2008 02:29 (seventeen years ago)

why yes i did

jergïns, Friday, 22 February 2008 03:47 (seventeen years ago)

5. Mongols and sheephaxxors (this slight is forgiveable as the best of you have joined our ranks)

John Justen, Sunday, 24 February 2008 00:52 (seventeen years ago)

wait do i lose my sheephaxxor/fuxxor status when i move to the US?

Rubyredd, Sunday, 24 February 2008 00:56 (seventeen years ago)

you might never fuck another sheep :(

jergïns, Sunday, 24 February 2008 04:59 (seventeen years ago)

it'll be hard, but i think i can live with that

Rubyredd, Sunday, 24 February 2008 09:24 (seventeen years ago)

a resolute character is but one of your many qualities

jergïns, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:19 (seventeen years ago)

i sound like a fortune cookie

jergïns, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:24 (seventeen years ago)

you are a fortune, cookie

lxy, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:32 (seventeen years ago)

what are you guys doing up? isn't it the wee hours of sunday morning in seattle?

Rubyredd, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:33 (seventeen years ago)

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

jergïns, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:35 (seventeen years ago)

i love that you know west coast time

jergïns, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:35 (seventeen years ago)

!!

i'll pick up where you left off and have fun for you: mountain goats first, then late night dancing with cobblestone jazz

-- jergïns, Saturday, February 23, 2008 9:01 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

jergïns, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:37 (seventeen years ago)

hey, we know how to kick it

feels like i'm just getting started

lxy, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:38 (seventeen years ago)

"Look on (his) works, ye mighty, and despair?"

Sara R-C, Monday, 25 February 2008 04:40 (seventeen years ago)

SO IRRITATING THAT I COULDN'T USE BRACKETS INSTEAD OF PARENTHESES THERE

Sara R-C, Monday, 25 February 2008 04:40 (seventeen years ago)

what estela is saying is that if you take john justen and play him backwards you can hear andrew eldritch singing.

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 25 February 2008 10:34 (seventeen years ago)

I'd like to know how she found that out. Playing John backwards is one of the harder things in life to do.

Sara R-C, Monday, 25 February 2008 14:32 (seventeen years ago)

it makes me happy to see curltis in the ITR

i want to make jokes about playing john, but i don't know him well enough

(i don't mean for that to sound dirty and i apologize if it does)

lxy, Monday, 25 February 2008 16:45 (seventeen years ago)

I'd go ahead and make the jokes; he probably won't mind.

Just don't expect to get anything more than an odd wheezing sound out of him.

Sara R-C, Monday, 25 February 2008 17:10 (seventeen years ago)

three weeks pass...

wheeeeeeeeeeze

John Justen, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 01:36 (seventeen years ago)

also, always the bridesmaid never the primaries thread today

John Justen, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 01:36 (seventeen years ago)

Don't mind him; he always gets grumpy wearing bridesmaids' dresses.

Sara R-C, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 04:18 (seventeen years ago)

two weeks pass...

0. NOTHING, in case you hadn't noticed

lxy, Friday, 4 April 2008 19:03 (seventeen years ago)

NADA

John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 19:29 (seventeen years ago)

ZIP

John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 19:29 (seventeen years ago)

77. 77

The Reverend, Friday, 4 April 2008 19:40 (seventeen years ago)

j/k

77 is more important than mollifying Lingber,

The Reverend, Friday, 4 April 2008 19:40 (seventeen years ago)

oh fuck no

jergïns, Friday, 4 April 2008 20:09 (seventeen years ago)

1 thread > entire board

lxy, Friday, 4 April 2008 20:14 (seventeen years ago)

this is really a battle of man vs. machine. a man (among men) lingbert or the secretboardmachine. don't let technology deceive you. think of humanity.

jergïns, Friday, 4 April 2008 20:45 (seventeen years ago)

The Reverend - 3 day ban

John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 20:46 (seventeen years ago)

none more deserved, bootches

jergïns, Friday, 4 April 2008 20:47 (seventeen years ago)

lol bootches

lxy, Friday, 4 April 2008 20:48 (seventeen years ago)

Let me tell you, I have witnessed lingbert in an unmollified state, and while my wounds still haven't recovered, it was nowhere near so fearsome as the almighty power of 77.

The Reverend, Friday, 4 April 2008 20:54 (seventeen years ago)

awesome power = dom and forks

jergïns, Friday, 4 April 2008 20:57 (seventeen years ago)

i will let u draw ur own conclusions

jergïns, Friday, 4 April 2008 20:57 (seventeen years ago)

Well, yeah. 77 is getting weaker, I'll give you that. T-minus three days before it is no match for unmollified lingbert.

The Reverend, Friday, 4 April 2008 20:58 (seventeen years ago)

77 was so much more powerful when it was only me and Crutis and Deej and Grady and Max and Hoos.

The Reverend, Friday, 4 April 2008 20:59 (seventeen years ago)

somebody invite deej here so i can ban him

John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:03 (seventeen years ago)

the borad is lovely. the thread is lovely.

why can't we all etc. etc.

lxy, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:08 (seventeen years ago)

i joke i love everybody. except for people who suck, and austrians.

John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:11 (seventeen years ago)

Liar, you totally love Austrians.

HI DERE, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:45 (seventeen years ago)

In fact, you want to have a million little Austrian babies.

HI DERE, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:45 (seventeen years ago)

Like your children would ever be that blonde or clean-shaven!

HI DERE, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:53 (seventeen years ago)

There would have to be some serious recessive gene action going on there with the white blonde hair, but otherwise OTM

ha ha xpost

Sara R-C, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:53 (seventeen years ago)

duh, you can tell by the white hair and glowing eyes that they are clearly austrian children as they appear before being turned into people

John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:54 (seventeen years ago)

Okay, so magical Austrian genes are, like, super-dominant.

Sara R-C, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:56 (seventeen years ago)

WHAT ARE THEY TEACHING YOU IN THAT FANCY NURSING TECHNICAL ACADEMY IF NOT THAT

John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:57 (seventeen years ago)

i guess they dont think that nurses have to know BASIC SCIENCE

John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:58 (seventeen years ago)

HOW TO GIVE INJECTIONS, ACTUALLY, SO BACK OFF

Sara R-C, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:58 (seventeen years ago)

phenotype, genotype, austriotype

John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:58 (seventeen years ago)

Go home and ask K. to explain about the "swimming pools" in people's bodies. I think that will clear everything up.

Sara R-C, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:59 (seventeen years ago)

when the crazed angry austrian googlers get here, i am going to delete my messages and blame FB, btw

John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:59 (seventeen years ago)

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2397/2387738629_76d46698a0.jpg

John's kids

HI DERE, Friday, 4 April 2008 22:00 (seventeen years ago)

Oh, the girls are really going to have hygiene issues, aren't they. ;_;

Sara R-C, Friday, 4 April 2008 22:01 (seventeen years ago)

Be glad it wasn't a bathing suit shot!

HI DERE, Friday, 4 April 2008 22:02 (seventeen years ago)

hahahahahahahaha

John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 22:03 (seventeen years ago)

omg

The Reverend, Friday, 4 April 2008 22:05 (seventeen years ago)

ELECTROLYSIS TO THE RESCUE?!

Sara R-C, Friday, 4 April 2008 22:05 (seventeen years ago)

Although really, ouch

Sara R-C, Friday, 4 April 2008 22:05 (seventeen years ago)

Alright JW is on 77 now. Unmoliffied lingbert takes the lead in the "most powerful thing on ILX" stakes.

The Reverend, Friday, 4 April 2008 22:20 (seventeen years ago)

his arrival post was lolololol.

stet, Saturday, 5 April 2008 00:12 (seventeen years ago)


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