Nipsies for the prom queens, malternative lifestyles for the menfolk, BEERGARITAS FOR ALL! HSTNGS THRD AGANE

I would also like to thank our new gracious host Mr. Whois Ghostrider for providing the bandwidth with which to spew our stream of bitter invective, drink recipes, and joeks at the expense of others.

l-r: FB, Br14n K1mm3s

So that's where he got the idea from.

(it was hard to resist a river wolf joke)

i guess i sort of maybe didn't, but now it's implied

I am hiding in my office from a 16 year old wearing a "BUM EQUIPMENT" tshirt. I was unaware that they still made those.

Oh sweet lunkhead suburban teens, how you continue to amaze me.

Upon further inspection, it is sleeveless, so sort of more of a t-vest.

KEEP HIDING.

That is a cute picture of FB. I don't think I've seen him in that kind of corset before.

RIGHT SURE YOU HAVEN'T

ACTUALLY WAIT WHICH KINDS HAVE YOU SEEN HIM IN?

QUIET!!!

Aren't you supposed to be hiding? The t-vest kid is going to HEAR YOU.

No comment.

xpost

http://www.romantasy.com/cyboutique/Newsletter/images11_00/man.jpg

FLUFFY BEAR HEARTS RAINBOWS SATIN.

haha why is this in itr???

T-vest is gone, replaced by 15 year old bloozman w/porkpie hat.

I'm thinking this is a lateral move.

xpost: TO KEEP THE BAD PEOPLE OUT.

I figure if we ask nicely the kind moderator will ban teh crazees.

Also, it is a test of how badly people WANT the HSTNGS experience. Will they go that extra mile?

God, look at how that is pinching his waist in! Poor guy. He should just cut back on the carbs.

xpost John thinks he has to hide these days. I'm offering safe harbor in exchange for cleaning out the front closet in my house. But he's probably stuck hiding from the t-vest guy for a while.

yeah, i'm about the best choice for cleaning assistance you could pick, that's for sure.

Also, it is a test of how badly people WANT the HSTNGS experience. Will they go that extra mile?

Will they play Russian Roulette? Will they hook friends up to electrical outlets? Will they?

"Wait, you're just going to throw all these old newspapers and oily rags away?" xpost

xpost - re: cleaning. Uh, John, I saw your teenage bedroom. I'm looking for ruthlessness, not cleaning ability.

"THE KIDS DON'T NEED THESE WINTER BOOTS ANYMORE..."

Also, not related to that at all, M1ke D0nnd3ling3r and his wife J3nnif3r B3lisl3 (HHS, class of 1992), have a new baby boy. 3than J4m3s. He weighed 11 pounds, 14.5 oz at birth! (birthdate: Sept 18)

BTW, it was a planned c-section. Apparently the Giant Baby was not a surprise.

The size of that baby would be awesome if that baby were made out of ham.

or turkey.

Wait, how much does a thanksgiving turkey weigh?

You can buy turkeys in many different sizes; it depends what you want/how many people you are serving.

Now I'm hungry.

So, if that baby had been made out of farm fresh turkey, how many people would it have served?

CALL THE THANKSGIVING HOTLINE FOR THIS KIND OF QUESTION, JOHN, YOU KNOW I'M A HORRIBLE COOK

theres a thanksgiving hotline?

also, I'm afraid that if I call the thanksgiving hotline and ask them how many people a 12 pound baby made out of delectable oven-roasted chicken will serve, I might get in some trouble.

1-800-BUTTERBALL

xpost - Yes, you are probably right about that.

Go to www.butterball.com for more information.

(They probably don't directly address the baby question, but I'm sure you can extrapolate. Make sure to invite Jonathan Swift!)

Is he a big eater?

For reference:

http://www.butterball.com/en/main_canvas.jsp?includePage=prep_calculator.jsp&t=Turkey%20Calculator&s0=plan_n_prep&s1=plan

Quit your English major a bit too soon, IRISH?

Apparently, a healthy adult can eat on average one pound of baby per sitting, but if you want leftovers, you should estimate at 1.5 lbs.

xpost If I could make a modest proposal, it would be to assume better of me.

Mike's baby will require 13.5 cups of stuffing, so you might want to let him know in advance.

You know what they say about assuming.

PS Do the leftovers.

WITH A TURKEY, THOUGH.

Also - 13 and a half cups of stuffing?! That is one serious baby!

Hey, I just report what your website tells me, lady.

"my" website

OK, am I the only person that thinks that the flood of poll results/poll closing at the top of new answers every day can suck a dick?

In general, I am unperturbed by it, but my tolerance for things has gone way up since J was born. Compared to being woken up every morning by a 5 year old who insists that we MUST sing "Simple Gifts" RIGHT NOW, I barely even notice the polls.

See, everything is relative.

Also, I'm REALLY starting to hate "Simple Gifts."

I won't, however, start a poll about it.

YAY!!!!

Okay, I called this store to order uniform tops for school and then when they asked for my phone number, I started with 651-437... I got that far before I realized OMG I AM GIVING THEM MY PARENT'S NUMBER IN HASTINGS.

Holidays have so much to answer for.

URGENT NEED FOR LINKABLE LOCATION OF JJ,FB,HD DANCING AND KICKASS LOCKERPOSING .JPGS.

Let me see if I can figure out where that is, John. It might take me a few minutes to dig up. I'll post the link here and email it to you when I find it.

http://homepage.mac.com/arobinso/.Pictures/jjd2.jpg

Does that help? It's on Austin's homepage.

hahahahahaha yes u r awesome

Thanks! That picture never fails to crack me up.

You guys realize that I lent FB the photo album that these came from, don't you?

I really need to go get that back from him.

He may have already pawned it to buy meth.

;_;

No, probably more like *_@

methmoticon

@_*

Aw, poor FB. John, you must help him.

%_*

no

X_x

X_O

great minds xpost

yours is better

X_x = official methmoticon of ITR

It will be easy to remember, regardless of one's state of mind.

Random photo time:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2221/2145873780_e0f68aa9b7.jpg

Julia appears to be terrified of her gifts

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2043/2145077681_6a20a67b23.jpg

My in-laws gave me a gift that makes one wall in our house NOT look like a dorm room

Damn, laundry is done, but maybe later I will find one of Alex to share. (I know, boring, but moms have to do it.)

I finally finished labeling the wedding pics I took on the 29th and will hopefully put some New Year's stuff up. But I forgot to tell you guys about where the wedding was! The First United Church of Christ here in town. (Or, as we sometimes fondly refer to it, "the F.U.C.C.")

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2286/2145080191_dce76a9346.jpg

Okay, here is Alex

L1Z T4NN3R ON FACEBOOK, Y'ALL

Ha, I wondered what had happened to her. (Her Dad worked at House of Wines for a while, so I guess I could have found out, but I am lame and I did not.)

btw, I just had a dream that Dan, John, and FB were in a Poem-Cees music video (which sort of made sense, as far as that goes), but then it somehow wound up with some other crazy thing where I tried to rescue P3rry from an alligator (in the Mississippi!). Then the houseboat he'd been sitting on left, and it turned out he didn't know the people whose it was, so we were STOWAWAYS

Hastings is a lot prettier in Dreamworld, guys

^^^^ shocker

Also big shocker that P3rry would be on someone else's houstboat!

Please to note: L1z t4nn3r has come to terms with certain aspects of her existence, as evidenced by the photo album on her facebook called "chins on parade" or something similar.

lolololololololol I saw that!

I have to feel J. lunch, but then I am going to check this out.

PS I have spent my life envying L1z' hair. I have never noticed her chin.

A) is it sanitary to feel someones lunch? before or after they eat it?

B) re: chin - how is that even possible?

A) FEED her lunch, honestly John.

B) What can I tell you, I must have been distracted by something else in high school. I won't speculate.

and that something was l1z's long, luxurious hair.

When you have crazy hair that totally misbehaves, it is easy to be jealous of someone else's hair that always seems to look perfect.

The solution, of course, is to stand next to a person with hair that is nearly inexplicable, so that you look well-groomed in comparison.

Ahem, JOHN

In fairness, in high school you could have substituted any of us for the "fucked-up hair" requirement.

Dan, I'm afraid my basis of comparison for hair styles for black men was Theo on The Cosby Show, and it seems like yours was less crazy.

But you're probably right.

lol, L1z is Facebook friends with Sc0tt Sn1d3r. I remember him best for the time he unzipped my strapless dress at an end of the year theater department banquet.

I should clarify that this was WHILE I WAS SITTING AND EATING; he just came up behind me and unzipped my dress!

^^^ a likely story

No really, that story is very likely.

I was irritated, but it wasn't much of a problem since the dress basically held itself up with some kind of ribbing. (Something had to hold it up.)

held up with ribbing, perhaps some cajoling, maybe some kind-hearted banter.

I should have used glowtape, obv.

^^^^^^ My new mantra

Okay, apparently my parents both caucused last night for Mitt Romney, and my Dad volunteered to be a delegate. Mom told me that there were plenty of people volunteering to be delegates and that Dad was called and asked if he would like to be an alternate. He said, "NO, I want to be a DELEGATE."

(You all know that my Dad can be both stubborn and a bully, right? I kind of wish I had time to go watch...)