OMG MY FUCKING FINGER

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I just burnt the shit out of my index finger on my left hand, i can no longer straighten this finger, what the hell can i do??! help meeeeeeee and i will give you some cookies.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 1 July 2004 18:44 (twenty years ago)

A&D OINTMANT

― cutty (mcutt), Thursday, 1 July 2004 18:46 (twenty years ago)

Cut it off and use the fire to cauterize the wound. This is the only way.

― dean? (deangulberry), Thursday, 1 July 2004 18:46 (twenty years ago)

i was making pfeffernüsse when this happened :(

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 1 July 2004 18:48 (twenty years ago)

I AM SUCH A FAG

― Amazing Randy (Amazing Randy), Thursday, 1 July 2004 18:49 (twenty years ago)

ALSO I LIKE LITTLE BOYS

― Amazing Randy (Amazing Randy), Thursday, 1 July 2004 18:49 (twenty years ago)

OH DERE

― Amazing Randy (Amazing Randy), Thursday, 1 July 2004 18:52 (twenty years ago)

eh i'm bored now.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 1 July 2004 18:54 (twenty years ago)

Doc Galaktik's Restorative Balm

― stephen morris (stephen morris), Thursday, 1 July 2004 19:09 (twenty years ago)

ha ha

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 1 July 2004 19:17 (twenty years ago)

aloe!

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 1 July 2004 19:47 (twenty years ago)

HI DERE

― Amazing Randy (Amazing Randy), Thursday, 1 July 2004 19:48 (twenty years ago)

DEEEZ NUTZ

― ¥¤±²£¢Ð¼æ®ª«¶Þ÷³¹ß½Ø×©§¾¿¥¤±²£¢Ð¼æ®ª«¶Þ÷³¹ß½Ø×©§¾¿¥¤±²£¢Ð¼æ®ª«¶Þ÷³¹ß½Ø×©§¾¿ (ex , Thursday, 1 July 2004 19:50 (twenty years ago)

ALLY: I recently had a huge nasty burn on my hand that bloomed into a big nasty blister thing. I used something called AQUAPHOR on it and it felt and looked better v. quickly. I burned it on friday and it is all nice and better now. so yeah. AQUAPHOR.

― andrew l. r. (allocryptic), Thursday, 1 July 2004 20:47 (twenty years ago)

u r all getting pfeffernüsse in the mail! or you can come up to inwood tonight and have a partttay with me and otis. a pfeffernüse and pizza and beer party.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Friday, 2 July 2004 01:09 (twenty years ago)

god it is so fucked , my finger i mean

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Friday, 2 July 2004 05:16 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

http://www.emedhome.com/docs/case111403g.jpg
http://www.emedhome.com/docs/case111403f.jpg

― o -- (eman), Thursday, 23 March 2006 02:01 (nineteen years ago)

what

― cutty (mcutt), Thursday, 23 March 2006 03:35 (nineteen years ago)

That's the worst pfeffernusse I've ever seen.

― John Justen (johnjusten), Thursday, 23 March 2006 03:39 (nineteen years ago)

i can't wait to be a doctor!

― gbx (skowly), Thursday, 23 March 2006 04:24 (nineteen years ago)

holy crap

i want you to be a doctor so you can tell me what that is

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 23 March 2006 04:58 (nineteen years ago)

also:
EMedHome.com - pure medical comedy:

December 16, 2005
Struck by forklift - What is this lesion?

December 09, 2005
Unusual skin changes during a pediatric seizure - Have you seen this?

December 02, 2005
VIDEO CASE: An Incredibly High Total CPK!

November 25, 2005
Stab Wounds to Chest and Back - An Interesting Injury

November 18, 2005
A Simple Case of Parotitis?

November 11, 2005
Why do these zoster lesions cross the midline?

November 04, 2005
A lumbar injury - more serious than initially suspected

October 28, 2005
Stab Wounds to the Neck

October 21, 2005
Groin I & D? It is Not an Abscess!

October 14, 2005
Another Headache in the ED - Got the CT Because her HMO is Difficult

October 07, 2005
While an Emergency Physician sleeps off a night shift, his son gets impaled.......

September 30, 2005
Gunshot to the Scrotum

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 23 March 2006 04:59 (nineteen years ago)

July 29, 2005
Smoking With the Oxygen On!

July 22, 2005
"My arm is stuck over my head"

--
May 13, 2005
Not a dental abscess - look INSIDE the mouth!

--
April 08, 2005
EpiPen Injector THROUGH the thumb!

--
March 25, 2005
Septic Knee - Interesting Clinical Questions

--
October 29, 2004
Palpable Neck Swelling - What Do You Tell Her?

--
May 02, 2003
Misplaced Central Line? No!

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 23 March 2006 05:22 (nineteen years ago)

looks like two frosted blueberry muffins poppin out of your hand. yum!

― meth lab for doug flutie (sanskrit), Thursday, 23 March 2006 05:30 (nineteen years ago)

I was thinking cranberry.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 23 March 2006 05:36 (nineteen years ago)

the funny thing is that once i saw that the hand was amputated, i became way less grossed out.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 23 March 2006 06:44 (nineteen years ago)

haha, i didn't even know it was ampputated! i thought the arm was under a blanket :( and I just went back to look again. I am going to have nightmares tonight, hurrah.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 23 March 2006 06:48 (nineteen years ago)

oh fuck maybe it is under a blanket! argh.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 23 March 2006 07:03 (nineteen years ago)

yes, it looks alive to me.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 23 March 2006 07:10 (nineteen years ago)

who ordered the small sausage + mushroom?

― vahid (vahid), Thursday, 23 March 2006 07:22 (nineteen years ago)

seriously though, when did noize board become NSFW gross-out board?

― vahid (vahid), Thursday, 23 March 2006 07:27 (nineteen years ago)

august 2004

― cutty (mcutt), Thursday, 23 March 2006 12:08 (nineteen years ago)

christ, that hand!
WHAT IS THAT???

― senseiDancer (sexyDancer), Thursday, 23 March 2006 17:35 (nineteen years ago)

We're waiting for Gib to go to med school and tell us. You might want to have a seat.

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 23 March 2006 17:46 (nineteen years ago)

thank god i have images turned off

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 23 March 2006 17:51 (nineteen years ago)

although the descriptions are really funny

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 23 March 2006 17:51 (nineteen years ago)

wuss

― o -- (eman), Friday, 24 March 2006 03:24 (nineteen years ago)

i was at a doctors office and there was this guy with this huge distended belly hanging like a foot below his oversized t-shirt and over his sweatpants (his jean jacket had NASA patches on it). when he sat down it had an odd shape, like a pillow-sized tumor under his skin, so beastly. the amazing thing was that he wasn't even the one being seen, but the shriveled old man with him (dad?), who was apparently there to "have his ears cleaned." the receptionist was practically yelling at him to hand over his driver's license. he was wearing a trucker hat that said "I Didn't Wake Up Grumpy... SHE'S STILL SLEEPING"

― o -- (eman), Friday, 24 March 2006 03:35 (nineteen years ago)

i'll get you for this

― strongo hulkington is a guy with a belly button piercing (dubplatestyle), Friday, 24 March 2006 03:47 (nineteen years ago)

that...thing...omg...ugh...

― strongo hulkington is a guy with a belly button piercing (dubplatestyle), Friday, 24 March 2006 03:47 (nineteen years ago)

I have a childhood memory (almost certainly distorted/embellished by time) of being in a hospital and walking through one of the waiting rooms, seeing a mother with a baby, its head crumpled in like a crushed juice box.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 24 March 2006 03:48 (nineteen years ago)

I have a bad memory from earlier today when I was trying to figure out what the 'problem' above was by scrolling through many many images involving the key words "swollen" and "infected" and etc. The memory that stands out involves emerg medical images of an INCREDIBLY swollen and horribly infected perineum and scrotum. They had to cut it all open to drain it. And they had to take pictures and post them on the internet! (People, if you're sore down there, just go to a doctor before it gets really bad.)

My guess is the problem above involves gout or some kind of rheumatoid issue + infection.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 24 March 2006 03:57 (nineteen years ago)

pics plz

― killy (baby lenin pin), Friday, 24 March 2006 04:00 (nineteen years ago)

i pledge a lesion.

― vahid (vahid), Friday, 24 March 2006 04:25 (nineteen years ago)

I have to search again to find that one, but this needs sharing too.
xpost

FALL FROM 25 FEET:
http://knowledge.emedicine.com/splash/shared/pub/cotw/0012.jpg

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 24 March 2006 04:32 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.meer520.com/bagel/gramercy_bagels_cranberry_muffin.jpg http://www.honeydewdonuts.com/nutrition/CranberryOrangeM.jpg

― o -- (eman), Friday, 24 March 2006 04:38 (nineteen years ago)

UNCANNY

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 24 March 2006 04:39 (nineteen years ago)

ok i'm linkifying this shit for our sanity

― o -- (eman), Friday, 24 March 2006 04:40 (nineteen years ago)

i never want to eat a muffin again. fuck you guys.

― gbx (skowly), Friday, 24 March 2006 04:41 (nineteen years ago)

you're not going to want to eat a lot of things if you go through with doctor school. GET ONE DESENSITIZED!

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 24 March 2006 04:43 (nineteen years ago)

I am, of course, not going anywhere near berry muffins for a long time.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 24 March 2006 04:44 (nineteen years ago)

Dear rrrobyn,

How many corpses have you handled in your life? None? Oh.

f u,

gbx

― gbx (skowly), Friday, 24 March 2006 04:44 (nineteen years ago)

i'm going to eat one off my forearm tomorrow

― o -- (eman), Friday, 24 March 2006 04:46 (nineteen years ago)

a corpse or a muffin?

― Special Agent Gene Krupa (orion), Friday, 24 March 2006 04:48 (nineteen years ago)

:( I was joking :(

Here is the thing I was talking about above. Really very Gross.
http://www.residentandstaff.com/article.cfm?ID=49

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 24 March 2006 04:50 (nineteen years ago)

maybe it is you that should be desensitized! to JOKIN' AROUND

― gbx (skowly), Friday, 24 March 2006 04:56 (nineteen years ago)

I don't even know what that means.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 24 March 2006 05:05 (nineteen years ago)

― gbx (skowly), Friday, 24 March 2006 05:13 (nineteen years ago)

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 24 March 2006 05:21 (nineteen years ago)

So I asked my dad what the hell was going on in the muffin picture:

"Strange indeed. Probably a huge sarcoma of some kind. Where the hell did you find that??

What's interesting is that she/he let that thing get that big yet puts on finger nail polish."

― gbx (skowly), Friday, 24 March 2006 05:24 (nineteen years ago)

haha, that's the first thing I thought! The finger nail polish, wtf! Okay, the first thing I thought was "glalalkjlkfdsbarfaaagh" but the SECOND thing was the fingernail polish care.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 24 March 2006 05:26 (nineteen years ago)

i'm so glad that has been linkified.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 24 March 2006 05:27 (nineteen years ago)

She knew she was getting pictures taken.

duh.

― gbx (skowly), Friday, 24 March 2006 05:28 (nineteen years ago)

she's probably got clean underwear on too. bless.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 24 March 2006 05:30 (nineteen years ago)

uggggggghh my poor, poor thread, wtf

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 16:06 (nineteen years ago)

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