ARE YOU READY FOR THIS IT'S THE TOM T. HALL THREAD (O YEA)

(Chorus:)
I like beer. it makes me a jolly good fellow
I like beer. it helps me unwind and sometimes it makes me feel mellow (makes him feel mellow)
Whiskey's too rough, champagne costs too much, vodka puts my mouth in gear
This little refrain should help me explain as a matter of fact i like beer
(he likes beer)

My wife often frowns when we're out on the town
And i'm wearing a suit and a tie
She's sipping vermouth and she thinks i'm uncouth
When i yell as the waiter goes by

(Chorus)

Last night i dreamed that i passed from the scene
And i went to a place so sublime
Aw, the water was clear and tasted like beer
Then they turned it all into wine

I like beer. it makes me a jolly good fellow
I like beer. it helps me unwind and sometimes it makes me feel mellow (makes him feel mellow)
Whiskey's too rough, champagne costs too much, and vodka puts my mouth in gear
Aw, this little refrain should help me explain as a matter of fact i love beer
(yes, he likes beer)

[ harmonica ]

I had to catch a plane up to Atlanta that next day
As I left for my room I saw him pickin' up my change
That night I dreamed in peaceful sleep of shady summertime
Of old dogs and children and watermelon wine

I guess I ought to go and watch them put 'im down
But I don't own a suit
And anyway when they start talkin' about
The fire in Hell, well, I get spooked
So, I'll just sit here in my truck
And act like I don't know 'im when they pass
Anyway, when they're all through
I've got to go to work and mow the grass.

Well, here they come and who's that
Ridin' in that big ol' shiny limousine
Mmh! look at all that chrome, I do believe
That that's the sharpest thing I've seen
That must belong to his great uncle
Someone said he owned a big ol' farm
When they get parked I'll mosey down
and look it over, that won't do no harm.

Well, that must be the widow in the car
And would you take a look at that
That sure is a pretty dress
You know some women do look good in black
Well, he's not even in the ground
And they say that his truck is up for sale
They say she took it pretty hard
But you can't tell too much behind the veil.

Well, listen ain't that pretty
When the bugler plays the Military "TAPS"
I think that when you's in the war
They always hide 'n play a song like that
Well, here I am and there they go
And I guess you'd just call it my bad luck
I hope he rests in peace, the trouble is
The fellow owes me forty bucks.

I love leaves in the wind, pictures of my friends, birds in the world, and squirrels
I love coffee in a cup, little fuzzy pups, bourbon in a glass, and grass and i love you too

I love honest open smiles, kisses from a child, tomatoes on the vine, and onions
I love winners when they cry, losers when they try, music when it's good, and life
And i love you too

The Iowa weather was 13 below
I had come to des moines for a radio show
I awoke in the evening from a traveler’s sleep
With notions of something to eat

The old elevator slid down past the floors
My head and my eyes said you should have slept more.
The man at the desk said the restaurant was closed
Outside it was 14 below

The lounge was still open and so I walked in
In place of my food I had two double gins
I looked ’round the room, as a tourist would do
That’s when I saw the girl in the booth

She sat there and cried in the smoky half-dark
The silent type crying that tears out your heart
Her clothes were not cut in the new modern way
And her suitcase had seen better days

Nobody asked her what caused her such pain
Nobody spoke up, yet no one complained
Without even asking, I knew why she cried
Life is just like that sometimes

The man at the desk said, it’s 15 below.
The bellhop said yeah man, that’s cold...that’s cold.
I went back to my room and I wrote down this song
Oh it sure can get cold in Des Moines.

Next thing I knew he had a switchblade knife
Lord I didn't know that Fraulein was his wife
I took off through that Gasthaus like a fool behind me I heard the crashing stools
(As the police would say he was in hot pursuit)
Well the waitress yelled there's MPs on the way
That's one more reason I didn't want to stay
As I went out the window somethin' went switch
And I giggled all the way home knowin' he missed
(At the time it seemed like a laughing matter)
But next morning my coat was lyin' there on the bunk
And when I saw that coat it made me jump
That man had cut my coat right down the back
A little bit more and they'd been playin' me taps
(And knowin' the sad nature of that song I would decline it)
Well later on I heard that guy got stabbed
They sent him home and didn't that make me glad
On love and marriage I want to say one thing oh lady if you're married wear that ring
(And the army has a new policy if you can't move it paint it
If it has a switchblade knife salute it
Not necessarily an incident one would want to write Mother about
Germany being full of good soldiers good people)