There has been a small outbreak of “zombism” in a small town near the border of Laos in North-Eastern Cambodia.
The culprit was discovered to be mosquitoes native to that region
carrying a new strain of Malaria which thus far has a 100 percent mortality rate and kills victims in fewer than 2 days.
After death, this parasite is able to restart the heart of its victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believed to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”
Cambodian officials say that the outbreak has been contained and the public has no need to worry.
General Ary Serey had this to say, "We have obtained samples of this new parasite and plan to learn how it starts the heart and other major organs of the deceased. We intend to use this to increase the quality of life for all."
US Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice opposed the plan saying that the Cambodian government holds a great biological weapon and should destroy it immediately. Cambodian officials have yet to comment.
A United Nations team will be dispatched to Cambodia to confirm the safety of biological research in Cambodia.
― rasheed wallace (rasheed wallace), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 14:43 (twenty years ago)
this was on ile the other day masquerading as a bbc story.
don't worry, cutty. i won't let the zombies get you.
― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 14:47 (twenty years ago)
I gotta admit, I kinda fell for this for a minute. It was kinda invigorating to think that all these years of training for the end days might see their day.
― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 14:54 (twenty years ago)
in a minute, after i go into the dark basement to see what that funny noise is.
― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 15:41 (twenty years ago)
they should sell six packs of elbows for shit like that! of course, then you've got upstarts like austin powers who'd be like, "who throws a shoe?" "who flies an elbow?" mister wizard, kite strings when you fly an elbow?
"oh em es pee, go fly 1.0 kites. kthxbye."
m.
― msp (mspa), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 15:46 (twenty years ago)