Analog Roam's Kenan Hebert is right that Interpol's first impressive full-length, Turn on the Bright Lights, is the album of the year thus far.

I can't imagine hating any of these people. IRL, I'd probably find them a little nerdy for my tastes and leave them alone.

-- Paunchy Stratego (fluxion2...) (webmail), July 27th, 2005 3:36 AM. (kenan) (link)

That's funny, because I went for two whole threads of this shit thinking that %% was making fun of the cartoons he was posting. Seriously, in every single case -- "PLZ KILL ABORTIONISTS" or "the dumbocrats and their smellfare program" or "OMG AIDS CURES FAGS" or "DEMS ARE FULL OF PEE" == I was convinced wholeheartedly that he was taking the proverbial piss. I could not imagine otherwise. Now that I understand that he was serious in his commentary, I think I may hate him more than any other person who has ever posted here.

Fuck yourself with a fencepole. You're the type of person who will eventually be the end of us all. Fuck you fuck you fuck you.

-- Kenan Hebert (edito...) (webmail), January 14th, 2004 2:49 AM. (kenan) (link)

But wait... Several minutes later, I fear the joke may be on me. %% is just a comic foil, right? He couldn't possibly be both dense enough to say those things in seriousness and stupid enough to post them here, could he? This guy could NOT be for real, right? I mean, really. "The dumbocrats and their smellfare program." That's just gotta be a joke. "OMG AIDS CURES FAGS" is even phrased like a joke, utilizing online ironic jargon and everything. The person who swallows all this wholesale doesn't really exist, does he? Have I missed something?

-- Kenan Hebert (edito...) (webmail), January 14th, 2004 2:58 AM. (kenan) (link)

close second?

Jesus H. Christ.
As much as I share the noize dude enemy list with Orbit, I now completely understand everyone's frustration with her. I just spent an hour on the phone with her, during which I did my bit of whining, as I do. And then she did her bit of whining, during which she attacked a fair number of people that I like, and made insanely irrational arguments against them, and when I argued in their favor, refused to budge on any point. It's like she's some kinda ass-stupid superhero, totally impervious to the intelligence of others. It was like nothing else I've ever argued against.

"But you have to understand, these people don't know you. You can't let it get to you like this."

"Yes I can."

"But they're not your friends. Why do you care so much?"

"Because they lie about me."

"I don't quite believe that, but let's assume that they do. Who cares if they lie about you?! They don't even know you!"

"You don't understand. They lie."

"But they're not even real people, Orbit. They're on the internet. At least half of the reason they pick on you is because you let them get to you so badly."

"But they lie."

"You're not listening. That's not the point."

"But they lie."

"I don't care if they do. No one does. Your dignity is more important here. You have to to let this go."

"They lie."

"But we're past that. Or I thought we were. Look, stop acting like a freak, and they'll stop being assholes to you."

"But why do they hate me?"

"They don't even know you. These are a bunch of incorrigible nerds we're talking about. They pick on anyone they sense weakness from. Stop caring so mucyh, and FOR GOD'S SAKE STOP BEING SO DEFENSIVE, and they'll leave you alone."

"But they lie."

*sigh*

I think I ended this exchange, which went on for much longer than this, by saying, "You have succeeded in exasperating me as much as you have everyone else on the board." This was the truth. She hung up on me. Good riddance. She's a nut.

So that's what I did tonight. I learned to dislike someone. I'm not sure this means progress for me as a person.

-- Paunchy Stratego (fluxion2...) (webmail), July 31st, 2005. (kenan)

Vindictra!