yeah, although, her zine had some good peoples... and it did have some funny ass shit from time to time.
Vocabulon 1-3
OPERATION GAZELLE: As in the fasted animal on the planet. When you're at a party that sucks and you want to split you just tell your friends, "Gazelle" which means let's get the fuck outta here. Then you casually leave. But if we're really drunk or something, then we literally run as fast as we can out the door down the street. Ie. "Ari, this is weak. Let's Gazelle"
Inner-Gay: One who is quite comfortable with their homo-stylings and yet fully is only hot for the opposite sex. Inner-gay does not necessarily exist in a sexual sense
Hella-German: Anyone having a a much larger head and who makes very analytical, blunt and/or angular/abstract observations all of the time. Can be counted on to make totally offensive statements with an absolutely straight face and no remorse. Buttermilk straight from the carton is delicious to a person like this.
The Trouble Bubble: aka An ass that'll make ya sweat just settin' eyes on it.
"brunch-fuckin'” - daytime sex.
anne frank syndrome: n. when you get a crush on someone you would never normally have the hots for just because yr around them all the time in close quarters, or because the selection is so minimal. eg, "i spent all that time in the office with him, and when his chain smoking and b.o. started to become charming, i knew ann frank syndrome was in full effect."
"Gettin' Balls Deep": Throughly immersed by anything. Eg: " I can't go to the Juno show, I'm balls deep in cleaning my kitchen", or can mean profession of desire " Dude, I could get balls deep in some pad thai right now"
"Living The Dream": When you get what you have always wished for and it's happening but like absolute worse case scenario form :Ie: you are on tour but all the shows are horrible/ cancelled. What you say when you have been informed of bad developments: "eg. "We're really livin' the dream now, Gabe".
Blenders: lame foamy trucker baseball caps purchased in thrift stores worn in an attempt to blend in at truck stops and rest area . " We're at the truckstop. Put yer Blenders on boys."..
menstruosity: n. a period monstrosity. eg, "of course *he* didn't have any tampons. my poor bill blass jeans! such a menstruosity."
Leather Cheerio: Brandt's word for the elusive "butthole".
twinsicles: two people who are so similar mentally/physically, people almost assume they are the same person. also can me couples who are like joined at the hip and speak for one another.
manifesto city: someone who's art/band/being is throughly shrouded in rhetoric, poltical hypothetisis, and steeped in situationism aka who are too arty for their own good. people who's conversation sound like liner notes to a nation of ulysses record.
"hoppaganda" - self explanatory.
chaijack - to sip off of someone else's drink without permission, whether alcohol, coffee, or tea. A - "I was stuck paying for drinks all night and Cory still kept chaijacking my gin & tonics."
Mattitude: The attitude inherant to some people who work at indie-majors. Derived from the words Matador & attitude.
sad sandwich (n) : combination of regret mixed with failure. having to deal with something that at the time seemed like it would make you look cool but ends up making you feel worse than you could've imagined. ex: "dude, the girl I was really into was gonna be at that party, but I showed up really late just to be cool and she ended up going home with some guy.....what a sad sandwich" also: often punctuated by an actual physical imitation of a very sad, frowning man eating an "air sandwich"...
"browning" - woman-positive way of talking about anal action. eg, "steve came on like such a mack, but after i gave him a good browning he knew who the freak was."
"catch gay" - fairly self-explanatory. eg, "ever since bill started hanging out with jody, he's been plucking his eyebrows and checking his ass out in the mirror all the time." "are you afraid he's catching gay?"
"cheese cutters" - sexily bared hip bones. eg, "we hooked up with jenny at the show. her cheese cutters killed me."
idiot chalant: n. one of those guys who is cute and witty enough to be loved by all, but then is so blasé to you because of all the attention he gets from the natural world. eg, "i had such a good time at breakfast with paul, but that's the last time i'll see that idiot chalant for a month."
locking boobs: v. originated from a night when i was flipping channels and everytime i passed the public access porn channel, women were grabbing their own boobs, until eventually on the 78th time around there two women were locking boobs and they looked like angry rams. therefore, to lock boobs is to go head to head in conflict. eg, "teeter, you and i are really locking boobs for the title of snackmaster."
emo seizure: n. a 14 year old-style tantrum/breakdown. eg: "after 2 weeks with my parents and nothing to read but old sassy magazines, i had a complete emo seizure in the car on the way back from friendly's."
assgasmic: n. the polar opposite of orgasmic, ie, wicked bad. eg, "when will the world learn that excessive breakbeats are assgasmic?" also a noun in the form "assgasm."
check plus/check minus: adjs. when something is good or bad, middle school grading style. always accompanied by a gang-sign-like hand guesture. eg, "insound zine survey? check, minus."
re-boy/girlfriend: n. someone you dated, broke up with, and dated again. ex-boy/girlfriend-once-removed: n. the person you dated before yr current ex.
cunnilingo: n. dirty girl talk. eg: "at bev's sleepover, the conversation turned to straight-up cunnilingo, and holly told everyone her re-bf is a two minute brotha."
delicious delicious: adj. something said before any favored food stuff. eg: "tonight i want delicious delicious thai food, including but not limited to delicious delicious pad see ew."
clich-gay (cleesh gay) : adj. something that is stereotypically gay, a gay cliché. eg: "black ribbed turtle-neck sweater with loafers? How clich-gay."
bo: n. aka b.o. or body odor. but there are many levels to this.
bo duke: n. named after the cooler duke of hazaard, this is someone who smells a lot, ie, a duke of bo.. bo sia: the ultimate in bo, named after spoken word artist/ too-cool-for- school brooklyn resident beau sia. must be accompanied with waving hand in front of nose gesture. eg: "oh man...we have got to switch subway cars. that guy over there is straight up bo sia."
"the captain's chair"- a slightly embarrassing, yet welcomed luxury. comes from those fancy, free-standing van seats that everyone is a little ashamed to admit that they'd be psyched to have. eg, "i finally got my chemical peel. it was the captain's chair, dude."
Make out on: v. As opposed to make out with. implies that you like someone so much, they don't even have to respond to your advances, they just have to be there. eg, "martin starr from "freaks and geeks" is just the hottest, i could make out on him all night all night long."
Major Deegan: n. it's the name of a major NY roadway that seems to be, according to news source NY1, in perpetual gridlock. for our purposes, a major deegan is a huge dork, just because it sounds like it should be. eg, "if amy eats all the thin mints, she's a major deegan."
physical challenge: n. taking the crush to the next step. eg, "we've done the flirty crap, he gave me a mix tape...i pass on the double dare and i'm ready for the physical challenge."
HOPSTAGE (-stage: as in hostage): One who has found him or her self in the crosshairs of Jessica Hopper's humor. This can be accomplished either through complete misfortune or a lack of skill on your part. Most likely it's the later. A: "Christ, that guy should have never opened his mouth!"
B: "Yeah, look at him. He's a total hopstage."
TACO BELL: That shitty hair cut many guys have where their hair is long but not long enough to quite reach their shoulders. Also, depending on the curliness of the hair, one may grow the rare obtuse T-Bell. This rare cut will appear as a mushroom shaped bell b/c the excessive curls have widened the angle of the bell. A: "I really can't stand the way Granola Derek is always tucking the taco bell behind his ears." B: "Last night, some asshole with a taco bell sat in front of me during the movie, blocking at least 30% of the screen.
AMERICAN HERO: Anyone who wears camouflage anything more than once a week. A: "Look at all those american heroes break dancing on the corner over there." B: "Did you see that american hero with the vegan neck tattoo?"
BRO FILE: I totally swiped this from some ESPN BMX race special, but I changed its meaning and use it often enough that I consider it to be mine. Anyway, the bro file can be information that friends disclose to one another during bonding moments, or the moment you click with another person. A: "After an entire six pack, my bro file was wide open for anyone who would listen." B: "Following our introduction, Roy and I quickly ran out of things to say. However, I was able to open his bro file when I commented on the breast size of the woman sitting next to us."
TITTOO : a tattoo on one's tit. A: "Did you see Ben Weasel's wife in the last issue of Probe? What's up with the tittoo?"
Dirt Heads : What they call hessians in Phoenix
nature melt: Hippies dancing or gathering en masse. A: " We had to leave Lilith Fair early, the nature melt was out of control".
Christian beer : pop/soda. Kip at Avast said all the Christian bands he recorded would just pound liters of pop and be so fucked they'd play all their songs too fast.
stradate: a social engagement that appears to be a date until one party turns out to be straight. A: "Budget! We watched Spartacus, went back to my place, drank half a bottle of pinot grigio and he asks to use the phone to call his girlfriend. Fuckin stradate!"
budget: Socially cheap, flimsy, unreliable, shitty. A: "Are you going to that indi-goth party at that pale kid's house?" B: "No, last time we listened to fuckin belle and sebastian for like four hours, it was so budget."
agbo: a flatheaded, undeniably dim person. A: "She must be hard up, I saw her walk off with that agbo from Starbuck's."
New Town Turkey: Someone, who, upon moving to a new city begins to gobble up everything in site, scenewise (also: a gobbler). A: "I went over to Karen's house and her new roomate was listening to Tortoise, playing a Shellac song on his guitar and had a June of 44 shirt on - what a gobbler!"
Scene Chicken: Someone who loudly expresses how they are so "over" rock, hate the scene, act more jaded than you can fathom, but yet you see them out almost every night at the local scenester club - insisting they are just there for pool. (also: perpetual grandma/pa: same as scene chicken, but often refers to how much better things were in 1989)
Windsong stays on my mind: Originally, this is from some bad cologne commercial, later made an appearance in a Star Pimp song. If someones Windsong is on yr mind, it means they stink. A: "Dude, that's the last time I let Johnny sleep over, his windsong is all over my couch."
Urination Station: The bathroom. If you really have to go you are "tuned to the urination station."
God's Personal Choice: When something is undeniably the best. Can also mean when things are out of your hands, but you ended up lucking out. A: " JJ, This pie you made is god's personal choice".
Executive Descision: A hasty manuever, or bad choice. You might say it if you know you are going to be challenged. A: " I'm shaving my hair into a mohawk. That's my executive descision".
That's My Final Offer: A retort ala "executive descision", but normally said with little to no provocation or context. A " I'm going to bed now - and that's my final offer".
Elderly: Played out
NoWaving: When someone's desperately trying to be shocking for attention, though shock value is negated by the stupidity factor. A: "I heard Gina peed on your cat at your party! Damn, bitch be No Waving!"
M.R. : Hospital slang for mentally retarded
D.L.: Desperate living. Can be everything from being addicted to Robotussin and taking a shower like twice a month and living on government cheese and jellybeans to being a freshman in college and eating nothing but macaroni and searching couch cushions for change to put 50¢ of gas in yr car to go dumpstering. Sloppy, below standards, in the manner of a 20 year old boy. A: "She had milk crates as shelves - a little too DL for me."
Uncle Jesse: Someone you see everywhere. Stems from the fact that there was an Uncle Jesse on Full house, Dukes of Hazard and Grizzly Adams.
Get Cable: When someone is tell you long, boring stories filled with minutae, you would suggest they "Get Cable!" - as if it would be a step up in terms of adding excitement to their lives. A: " Kenny spent 40 minutes explaining his new job at Sam Goody to me and finally I was like " Jesus, Kenny, Get cable, ok?!""
Gibbler: as in Kimmy. When someone won't get out of your house, is a bad house guest, usually referring to bands.
President's Choice: Cut rate or off brand. As in Presidents Choice soda, the kind you can get for 25¢ in the machine outside KMART.
Albaby: Being immature... (also: a big albaby, albini baby) A: " Missy slagged Punk Planet hard in the new Limpen cos they wouldn't let her write. What a big albaby!"
Killing me softly: When someone's a bad lay. A: "I went home with Brad the other night and he killed me softly for all of 5 minutes..."
Hecktavision - Basically, your vantage point when you are topsy turvy drunk. A: "Dude, after I took that 'Mitsubishi' E and drank those Sea Breezes at Moonbeam's loft party, my shit was hecktavision!"
Fish Eye: indiscriminately looking at/scamming on women at a club; A: "Man, you got the fish eye tonight!"
Mullered: A cheap high or drunk. A: "We spent Saturday in Jason's basement getting mullered on model plane glue and PBR."
CODE V-T: Hospital slang = code vomit = bad scene /gross/super dirty/bad news city.
CRACKIN/CRACK SHOES: When someone is unexplainably crazy and freakish, they're crackin. Crack shoes - as in shoes thrown over a wire to signify crack being sold there. A: " I heard Killah had live chickens at her party. Dude, someone needs to put crack shoes around her neck" B: " I know, she fellated my dog at my last party, bitch be crackin'".
As Josh once said to me,, the only new territory we can break as writers and zine publisher is via making up our own words and language. Some of these terms are used in Hit it Or Quit it, which Michael suggested we explain so people can actually get the joke sometimes. Some of the terms are just things we made up and have seeped their way into our daily conversations.
Contributors: Liz, Jessica, Cassandra, Charles, Noel, Steve Dude and Michael.
5150: The police code for cocaine paranoia (ex. "Everyone at Jinx was staring, at me, it felt totally 5150")
ALPINE LACE: Girl-made money and lots of it. Stems from the rap term "mad cheddar". Alpine Lace is a more delicate, fancy type cheese.
BEDIQUETTE: Standard of behavior/manners for making out or doing it (ex-"Right in the middle of gettin' busy I exclaimed, 'Omigod! This is sooo funny!' Wow, such bad bediquette.")
BREAD-EATING: Gay. Stems from some hick that Michael heard on the radio trying to explain some scientific correlation between eating bread and being gay (ex. "Jim and Ken are hanging out together a lot lately, I wonder if they are eating a lot of bread")
THE BEST: Yes, you must emphasize both words; it's salon jargon for anything spectacular. Works best if you make a slight pause between the words.
CHA-CHA: ... if you don't know what this is by now, we're not telling you.
COUTURE: As in haute couture. Means avant or forward thinking, not standard cool, implies individuality. A step above "skin graft". Also usually applies to the way someone looks. (ex. "Liz, you new cargo tights go great with your cape - it's super couture")
CAPE: Refers to any excess clothing on yer body; very couture. (ex. "That scarf tied around your wrist makes a nice hand cape.")
CHEEMO: Cheesy emo or christian emo. (ex. "Dude, take off the Mineral record, I hate cheemo")
DRAGON TAMER: The deadly mod-goth-heshian combo. These people usually come from San Francisco or thereabouts.
EIGHTH GRADE SLUT: Really over the top sexuality usually combined with serious inebriation. To be an eighth grade slut means there is nothing subtle about you.
EXTENDED REMIX: Way too much chaos, can also mean bad relationship.
EXTREME BANJO: This stems from when Josh ran a mini-marathon and there was some old guy on the sideline who played banjo for the whole time, which was like 2 hours. It doesn't have a meaning yet.
FUCK TAXES: This is primarily a Liz-term. What you yell when you are super excited about anything or are getting away with something major, usually followed by a wiggly dancing move.
FUP: fat upper pussy, most older women have them; also used to describe any disgusting potential physical/personal annex. (ex. "I know everyone else luvs 'em, but Belle and Sebastian totally put a fup on my brain.")
FLARTY: Random and obtuse non flirting, usually entails embarrassing yourself - done to impress someone who would not likely be impressed by normal person flirting. (ex. "Azita was standing next to me at the show, so I started getting all flarty with her.")
HEY KOOLAID: when someone's or something super boring or whiny and you wish someone would bust down the walls and make everything rad...(ex. After three hours of hearing him talk about his ex, I was totally "hey Koolaid")
HOPPRA: When Jessica won't stop talking.
HELLO UTOPIA!: What you say to someone to dispel their lack of reality - usually based on hippie/anarchist notions (ex. "My roommate in BoCoMO was telling me he wished money didn't exist, I was like Hello Utopia")
JAMBY: As in Jamby the Genie from Pee Wee's playhouse. When someone is not based in reality. (ex. "Jose was saying he thought his band was going to get signed to Touch n' Go and I was all "Whatever, Jamby".). Another form of this is "Molaleckaheymeccajohnnyhoneenaa" - which is Jamby would say to grant someone's wish. If someone is asking you for a ridiculous favor, you would tell them that.
JANKY: Cross between Junkie and Skankie. Janky is akin to 8th grade slut, but scarier and damaged.
HAIR BEAR: A boy with too much body hair, or untamed hair. aka Sasquatch
MANIC-OBSESSIVE: You and your best friend, you and your hand, Liz and Bobby Conn.
MIXED TAPE SIGNALS: When someone has a crush on you which is transmogrified into totally undeniable, puppy dog eye emo lust. This close to making you a tape with at least one Jawbreaker song on it.
MANIC AGGRESSIVE: Exactly what it says. Can also work as a description of bands (ex. "Shellac were totally manic aggressive last night"). Acute form is chronic aggrotosis.
NEW GOTH: This was actually stolen from JJ - New Goth is the exact opposite of old goth. New Goth is about white tennis outfits, Nike Trainers, White mesh, orange and hot pink and having a fake tan. But you like old goth music.
NEW WAVE: The casual, much sexier version of being Skin Graft, but with an air of endearing darkiness.
OTT: Over the top.
PREMO: before emo. (ex. "I liked Slaughter premo.")
PLAYED IN/PLAYED OUT: Played in - Not quite the opposite of played out, meaning it's so played out, so far from cool that it is about 3-5 years away from being brought back into circulation or even for-the-sake-of-nostalgia-cool and thusly should be embraced in the interim.
POONATA: in theory, not practice, a pussy pinata; very tough to open up but contains festive treats...and no, it doesn't get any more graphic than this. (ex. "Dan said that Steve's whole life is just swinging a stick at poonata.")
POSTAPOCOLYPSTICK: Combination of postapocolypse and lipstick. Having serious talks with your girlfriends. Also implies melancholy infused with unspoken girl bonds. Like a carfull of girls, driving home, post rock show, silent, blasting Alliyah - is prime post apocolypstick.
ROAD RAGE: Random bouts of unsolvable anger
RACKING BALLS:...nope, not talking about pool...this is really what it means, only in reference to getting mad; no more "kicking ass" cuz now it's "racking balls." Can also mean knocking someone over or giving them a really hard time.
SNARK: This is Steve Dude's word - It's people who are particularly creepy-pervy. He says it's the men who hang out in Salvation Army's smelling the crotches of pants. Can also mean someone trying to procure a prostitute.
SNARTY: Snotty and arty together. Usualy applies to someone who is "above the scene" and only comes out to see Drag City shows.
SHANK: (the jail meaning) - to stab someone in the neck or stomach with a pencil or a tooth brush that you sharpened by rubbing against the wall. Also means to stab someone in the back.
STEEZ: Rap term. your steez is your personal style of doing things, that you are known for. (ex. "I'm ditching class, you know my steez")
SKIN GRAFT: When someone is being really obtuse and hard to understand arty, usually describing the way someone's outfit. Can also meaning making things out to be way more complicated than they are. (ex: "The pantihose over the sweatpants is way too Skin Graft")
THE SEXY HOBO: Cassandra coined this one. Somewhere between white trash and pajamas. Like an outfit you probably should not go outside in, but your inner sexiness pulls it off - at least that's what we think it means.
THEATRE IN THE PARK: Wicker Park based drama or gossip.
THEATRE IN THE ROUND: When everyone knows your business.
TREAL: Combination or true and real. (Ex: Did you read the kathleen Hanna interview in Punk Planet - that shit was treal.)
TRIANGULAR, BLACK-HAIRED...: Another reference to the Ladies' Y, except used in front of anything that is extremely not pussy. (ex. "I cleaned out the triangular, black-haired pantry for my mother today."). Sterns from when Sheryl was wearing hot pants while shopping for shoes, her mother loudly scolded her "Sheryl, I can see your triangular black haired pussy!" in front of the salesman.
TOOMAGE: combination of the words "too much" and "fromage" - the french word for cheese. pronounced "tu-mahj" emph. on the "j" sound. Usually refers to something that is just so over the top, there no way to deal with it. the slightly less intense version is just plain "mage". (ex. "My home perm is just way toomage!" or "The drama of our relationship was just toomage, so we broke up.")
TYPO: major mistake, fashion especially. (ex. "White belts? Total typo!" of "Dating Tommy -typo!")
UTA: Pronounced like the state, abreviation for Up the Ass. This one comes courtesy of Noel at Bunnyhop.
WIG TUESDAY: Exactly what it sounds like; wear a wig on any Tuesday for discounts, good luck, free meals, maybe even presents...the benefits are limitless.
YARD GNOME: Short older men.
YAHTZEE: the game that spreads love throughout generations and scenees; also used as an exclamation to show disgust, excitement, whatever depending on the syllable emphasis. (ex. "Five dudes with their shirts off? Yahtzee!" [emph. on 2nd syllable=gross])
― msp (mspa), Wednesday, 31 August 2005 19:22 (twenty years ago)
two months pass...
one year passes...
two weeks pass...
nine months pass...