Not Proud, yeh?

There was this freshman in my high school who needed a new kidney. Of course, my friends and I made merciless fun of him. Eventually, he died and my friends and I dressed up as a barbershop quartet and attended his funeral. I thought his mother would never stop crying. Looking back, I kind of regret it, but those were good times. PS I am a doctor now.

Today I saw you for the first time, I thought who are you? What are you? And then I realised that you are genital warts...

After I convinced my girlfriend to eat the eighth of magic mushrooms, and she was very stoned and rolling around on the bed because it felt so weird, I dared her to eat a joint. And I laughed when she did.