dear neighbor

my neighbor went from strokes to talking heads to some silence to then some super-pumpin' techno. now it's mostly quiet again.

upstairs: sabbath http://img501.imageshack.us/img501/7760/guitar1oj.gif http://img514.imageshack.us/img514/2638/metalbanana0um.gif

will you ever stop pacing?
i don't get what could possibly warrant that much walking back and forth in noisy shoes.

let me know if i can help with whatever is tormenting you so.

-t

I am tired of being polite. The next time your subwoofer rattles my windows at 2:30 in the morning, I'm going to kick your tiny little ass. It's nice that mommy pays your rent, some of us have jobs, douchebag.

-MP

Thank you for either vacating the premises this past month, or learning how to take off your KISS-sized boots when you traipse around your apt. If you are "away" & plan on resuming your clompy habits upon your return, then eat one (1) asshole.

Dear Downstairs Neighbors:

I hope I don't do what that dude does to me to you, for you are very nice, and brought me homemade cookies once.

You don't live here any more, stopping threatening to "call the city on me" when it rains and water runs through your (ex-wife's) yard. We live at the bottom of a hill, there is nothing I can do to my yard that will make run-off from the REST OF THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD not go through your (ex-wife's) yard.

Yr pal,

Shitty suburbanite

I am going to kill the shit out of your yippy fucking pomeranians, I swear to God.

Yr pal,

Yipped Out

It's totally okay with me if you want to hop the fence to collect the bazillion fucking balls you launch over here on a daily basis, otherwise I will eventually mow them.

Yr pal,

Guy With Scary Yard

Since you said I'd never hear your twin brats who wake me up every weekend morning around 8, when are you chloroforming them?

do you think you could dispose of the used condom on the front steps?
really, dude, that's just fucking gross.

thx,

tza

I am watching you. Always.

Your bud,
C
http://www.kip-radio.de/grafiken/turrey.jpg

unless of course you were referring to your comment where you said you didn't love slocki because he's a clomper. you still love morbs so i can infer that he is not a clomper.

thanks.

also leafs are toronto, maybe you mean habs?

therefore i am on the same level as professional athletes. at least physically.

why do you make those noises when you carry your bike up the stairs that sound like EHHH UHHH OHHH? i don't think they help :( also why is your cat so weird?

xx,
caitlin

why are you making banging/dropping things sounds on my ceiling when it's my roommate in teh room next to you who's playing a movie rly loud?

I am sorry you couldn't sleep last nite because of metal plate on street right outside our windows -- yes it makes loud noize w/every passing car but no I don't feel qualified to go tell work guys to plz make it stfu. anyway I am insomniac -- yr nabe "M"

dear neighbor,

it is nice that you can play piano so prettily, but it's 4:11 and i have to get up at 9. fuck you.

love,

t

ok we have now gone from pretty little ditties to 'my heart will go on' + male singing.

;_;

Check out "Rumble, Rumble, Rumble" by Betty Hutton, seriously.

dear neighbor...

the diva house... it's going on 3 years now everytime you come home from work. do you get bored of it?

Steve

DEAR NEIGHBOR,

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT WEIRD SCRAPEY NOISE YOU KEEP MAKING. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE SHIFTING YOUR CHAIR 1 INCH EVER 3 SECONDS OR YOU HAVE A SEAL ON THE PREMISES.

I DON'T LIKE IT.

JAXON

dear neighbor, thanks for watching my cats, we cool. also for playing guitar on that remix.

Dear upstairs fattey,

Yr treadmill is RIGHT OVER MY BED and I am sick of being woken at 6am every fucking day by up to an hour of whirring machinery and THUD THUD THUD THUD non stop. Cant you exercise after work or something? Gah.

yrs,
sleepdepped.

Dear neighbor lady,

Why do you call the police on my band practices when you didn't call them on my brother-in-laws hardcore band who practice later and more often? Anyway, you should stop, because Officer D00littl3 says he is going to stop responding to them. Officer D00littl3 is a bro. You are not.

Yr pal,

member of not all that loud band who practices in a fairly well soundproofed basement between 7 and 10 pm on Tuesdays and sometimes Wednesdays

ps your story about how you're friends with Alice Cooper and how he played in your backyard once are ridiculous

Dear other neighbor who lives above that neighbor,

You should be glad I'm a decent dude because one time my yard was littered with about 1000 of your blank checks in perfect condition. Also stop calling yourself Paco, your name is Robert.

Sincerely,

not a paid waste management technician

Is your band a jam/noodle/drum circle/noize/experimental anything arrangement? That could explain it.

apparently Robert's been watching Serpico too much

Hahah Laurel I worry about my neigbs sometimes cos bf and friends come here and do Earth-stylee drone jams really loud. I don't imagine they're fun for anyone who doesn't like psych/drone to listen to.

dear neighbor,

why are you singing 'almost like being in love' like a lounge singer???? you are really bad. like, really really bad. get some pitch and stop screaming so much. subtlety is key, dude.

love,

t

i am neighbor, in all cases, ever

my neighbor once for a week every night was playing some weird mix of dan rather's voice singing (talking) walk this way and she would get pizza delivered and play the music really loud, the pizza guy and i were like wtf, wtf

-- nazi bikini (harbl), Thursday, January 4, 2007 12:15 AM

XD

i miss caitlin!

neighbor,

a party on sunday? what is that about?

jerks,

t

haha i did not remember that dan rather song but now i do. she doesn't play it anymore, it was just a phase i guess. i wish i could find an mp3 of it though hmmm

haha wtf it was not walk this way at all it was back in black! my brain must have rewritten the memory lol but this was so annoying anyway

dear new neighbors,
tbh, i didn't even realize old, awesome neighbors moved out and damn, that sucks. what also sucks is you guys having an all night crazy party with people drinking 40s in public outside my door. i know it's friday night and all, but i have to meet my parents early tomorrow. a little consideration, or maybe just a 'hi we're new and having a party tonight, hope that's ok!' would be nice.
to the guy who is apparently trying to get dishonorably discharged for not wanting to go back to iraq for the 4th time, man, i feel bad for your situation. i was intersted to hear you talking about a hellicopter crash but maybe not that you crashed when going to pick up some guy who was doped up on something i didn't hear, or that the homosexuals get the most ass over there. sheesh.
ok, have fun...

t