1. wake up 2. ?

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get lifted?

a name means a lot just by itself (lfam), Saturday, 9 September 2006 16:16 (nineteen years ago)

listen to mix
answer email
eat breakfast
sell CDs
buy CDs
buy groceries
think about taking a nap
look at trees and lakes
take a nap
go to show
make music
repeat

Dominique (dleone), Saturday, 9 September 2006 16:29 (nineteen years ago)

insert "audible: get high" @ appropriate moments

Dominique (dleone), Saturday, 9 September 2006 16:29 (nineteen years ago)

2. lay in bed listening to really loud construction across the way and wondering why fan has been turned off.
3. eat cheerios and drink coca-cola, get told by roommate that this is kind of gross
4. tell roommate it is the goddamn breakfast of champions
5. read a bazillion news sites
6. do dishes from last night
7. throw out really old pasta, take out trash
8. clean kitchen
9. clean living room
10. get really sweaty
11. realize fan in bedroom has burned out after one week of use.
12. post on ilx, think about showering and leaving the house.

Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Saturday, 9 September 2006 16:37 (nineteen years ago)

2. Open computer up, check mail & ilx, choose anthem of the morning on iTunes, listen once, take medicine & shower and eat handful of granola, sit on bed and stare out window and feel blank while listening again.

I guess that's more than two. But. uh. Yeah, I used to get lifted a lot in the morning but I haven't bought weed in two weeks. This week may be different? Who knows. I hope so.

trees (treesessplode), Saturday, 9 September 2006 16:40 (nineteen years ago)

2. time to die

señor citizen (eman), Saturday, 9 September 2006 16:46 (nineteen years ago)

watch nasa tv

a name means a lot just by itself (lfam), Saturday, 9 September 2006 16:47 (nineteen years ago)

2. piss
3. go back to sleep for two more hours
4. wake up again
5. make coffee
6. drink coffee/stare into space
7. play record
8. finish coffee
9. wonder why god is cock punching me so hard this week
10. check ilx

john cougar thornton melloncamp (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 9 September 2006 16:50 (nineteen years ago)

The fans seem to be working; either the little critters can’t materialize, project invisibly, because of the combination of all the swirling floor fans and ceiling fans, or they’re afraid that they’ll be sucked up, or it may be that the electromagnetic interference set up somehow thwarts them.

I do now believe that the invisible negative - thought entities (the "Jinns" who give me nightmares with horrible scenarios,) are the same entities who "separated" my astral body from my physical body;I awoke to see that the ceiling fan I’d left on had been shut off, and I awoke drenched with sweat.They had gotten me.

There were odd deeply bright yellow stains on my pillow;endocrine milking?A foiled injection?


As I stood there,drowsy and off balance, wrapped in darkness, something was placed on my neck or something jumped from the top of the stair railing onto the back of my neck; some palm sized hand-puppet-like creature jumped on the back of my neck, gripped it tightly, like a tiny koala and snugly climbed, moving up and positioned itself into the hollow of the nape of my neck where it clung tightly.When it reached the top of the back of my neck it snuggled more deeply.

It held on with a clamp like grip, warm, small and unseen. I reached up and back,in disgust and in horror, a quick reflex, to find that i had no power to lift my arms ; they hung like dead wood at both sides of me.My hair stood straight up and again I found I could not raise my arms to remove it and i began to jump, dance and twist ,terrified to full awareness from sleep, now,scared ,aware of its presence.It clung fast despite quick wrenching spasms of my head, neck and shoulders to dislodge it’s grip from the back of my neck.

I was paralyzed with panic, aware of this evil strange tiny creature holding fast to my neck, and again realized that my gyrations and twitches and spins were useless; it clung on the more tightly.

Again I panicked. Now,beyond the confusing,frightening realization that my arms weren’t working, was the fresh horrifying disturbing fact that my feet were rooted like tree roots to the ground;i tried to flee with this creature on my neck into our bedroom and awaken my wife who would surely be in horror at its materialization and reality and who would peel it from my neck and at the same time answer my shouted queries;what IS it!? what the hell IS it!?I was stuck in a real nightmare. My mind reeled in raw fear that threatened to stop my breathing. My arms were not working,legs oddly paralyzed and the creature had dreamily nestled near my scalp warmly stuck fast,well up on the back of my neck ,as though safe snug; It held on, strange and silent.

I realized that I was just outside the bedroom door and thought ,frustrated;I WANT TO GO TO SUSAN and then floated into the room as though on an unseen conveyor belt, into the bedroom yelling, "Susan! Susan! What’s on my neck?! What is it?! Can you see it?! What’s on my NECK!!?" I writhed and danced.
I awoke, in bed, (in my body), with my wife, Susan, shaking me. leaning over me, looking at me with concern in her eyes.

"You were having a bad dream," she said "I had to wake you."

I realized that the tampering entities could also retrieve a whole host of unseen inter dimensional critters to plaque me and that my astral body as well as my physical body was subject to their creative harassment. They seemed more insidious ; tampering - could occur when I was asleep and "wandering"...

Very strange and creepy indigestible spiritual questions loom and dissipate. Only God can protect me.
Out of body?These entities,these greys,specialize in astral tampering.Six months ago, at about five o’clock,
Mid -August, early in the morning, I awoke and looked up and down at my body in bed.

My feet were floating above my feet; two sets of me were visible, one above, one below. I was leaning up,now,agog, waist bent, staring, feeling my whole body tingling, vibrating and I thought, more in fear than in awe; "my god,isn’t that what happens at death?!" My next FEARFUL unformed thought was that I had to stop this; I didn’t want to die. But I fell into a deep sleep and awakened later, exhausted, not remembering.

That night, before dinner, Susan told me that my whole body had "shook without my seeing any appendage twitching" enough to wake her, a sound sleeper, the night before. I told her my early morning remembrance and I realized that these inter dimensional thieves were fooling around with my astral body or with my soul,itself and I suddenly longed for feeling of being f deeply religious, frightened and aware of my "essence", not my body, that I had discovered valuable to these entities.

How could such a thing happen or be allowed to happen, in God’s universe?
How can I explain their invisible , intrusive and harassing motives behavior and tactics? How can I resist without invoking ’revenge’ or anger from these unseen thieves of body and soul? Who can I possible talk to about these assaults, nightmares, nosebleeds, dreams, and poltergeist -like experiences?

Who could understand or advise me?

Only another "abductee" or "experiencer" who has successfully resisted the evil of psychic or spiritual attacks.

Wednesday - February

"And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us" In the middle of playing bass guitar, at four in the afternoon, the radio on in the background, a feeling of sudden anxiety, free and floating, smacked me, making my stomach tight and my fear lever climb.

I closed my eyes in sudden panic. Beyond my own belief,

in my mind’s eye, three small blue - grey entities stood at the door, inside, watching me. The leader "intruding" into my psyche or mind, usurping, ’taking control’, causing anxiety; (as an intuitive approach signal, I recognized). I ordered them out, putting the guitar down, shutting off the stereo and amp and mentally ordered them out!!
Out!! Out !! Out!!

I was swept with their raw surprise; two left, evaporated, one, amazed, reluctant, lingered.
I recited the Lord’s prayer and struggled, inwardly, to resist, ordering him out even as he hesitated repeatedly. It took five long minutes, minutes that seemed longer before the anxiety; i.e. the mental intrusion ebbed and I felt alone. But I wasn’t. I went into the kitchen to boil water for tea, leaving the room, turning my back, my mind away form the feelings in the living room when a word, in my mind, emblazoned, loomed in letters large and capital. "BEREAVEMENT". With my eyes open, the words hung in space, as though an afterimage.

Were they sad I had resisted? Tough shit!! I thought. Would they again impose their negative scenarios and make me grieve in nightmares, cry heartbreaking tears? What did it mean? Bad dreams? In four days I was on a plane booked at a hotel to attend my father -in - law’s funeral in Florida. Both the airfare and hotel rates were listed as "BEREAVEMENT" rates on both receipts.

As well as being invisible they can see into the future and tell, warn us as suits them... But it seemed as if it were a ’slap’, a rebuke, to have been told in such a cryptic stilted and intrusive off-handed way. The word BEREAVEMENT was as much a response to my rejection of them as it was information. And most importantly it, the "WORD" strongly confirmed that anxiety IS a symptom that intuitively alerts me that psychic intrusion, interference is happening. If the word hadn’t appeared, I would not be sure that a wave of free-floating anxiety means they’re already HERE and INSIDE... I was never really sure before. The word "BEREAVEMENT" confirms that I was right.

If I can fight "them" in the first initial stages I can resist more completely. But how can you fight something you can’t see? They change tactics, redouble their efforts and make one pay heavily for resistance. They’re addicted to abduction and also have access to inter dimensional creatures, who do their bidding.

Fight?

Resist?

My analogy is one of cows grazing in a world - wide pasture. They are simply cows who eat grass under God’s blue sky and don’t acknowledge or analyze because they’re only cows. But they love life and God and his skies and his grasses.

Occasionally, something odd, bizarre; an experience of high strangeness occurs; the farmer comes and milks the cows. Most pay no attention as they are just cows who eat grass and, the experience happens when they are asleep or dully unaware. The few (smart) cows who do resent the episodic intrusion who are aware of the subtle meddling, kick over the pail and spill the milk. They may even threaten the farmer himself.

For these cows, the farmer does not return; instead, he sends in the ’butcher’ for these cows.

The ’butcher’ is an evil, punishing entity, (inter dimensional) who "MEDVED", "comes in the night" gives illnesses, infections, pains, organ disease, death, in bidding retribution for the abducting, but now thwarted entities, who resent resistance, in any form.

Tuesday - February

I often wonder, when at air terminals, awash in crowds, or at a ball game, how, seemingly unaware "bovines are being "milked", or whether how many are truly troubled, aware of nighttime ’visitors’.
How many people, thronged in diverse pursuits know? How many merely suspect? The accumulated, slow built ’evidence’ suddenly looms as obvious as a trout in the milk. But would cows recognize a trout in the milk?; most would go on to chew grass under God’s blue skies and deny the subtle, spiritual interference as a ’bad dream’, or their imagination.

There is electrical interference with the T.V., bands of static and white noise, every few seconds on all the channels, like someone is broadcasting, nearby, on all frequencies! Ticks and knocks are heard in the walls; laying in bed, in the darkness, I hear a soft but clear footfalls in the attic and on the roof, paddling. The floorboards red and termite ridden, creak and pop as unseen entities walk by my footboard, as I toss anxiously; try hard to ignore the sounds, asking myself "How can they just walk unseen, through walls and doors yet have enough seeming weight of specific gravity to hear them make the floor creak?" begin to pray, trying to mentally resist, calmly now, over and over telling them to go: "Be gone, unclean, evil spirit. Leave me alone, the power of Christ, himself, the Blood of the Martyrs, God, himself, orders you to leave."
-over and over -

I close my eyes, aware that anger, fear; all negative emotions are food to them. My repulse must be totally positive.
I try to think of them as marauding intrusive raccoons who stumble, motives unclear, into a trespass situation.
There are some who say that the entities forfeit their rights to not being attacked when they abduct, physically, when they intrude, but they never materialize; even when I know that they’re PRESENT, physically, I cannot see them. Sometimes a quick moving shadow or a flash of lights, (as though traffic could reverberate lights into a room with the blinds shut), is what I imagine I see. (They either "cloak" the area of their presence, or being at a higher intelligence and vibration level (not higher morals) they are simply invisible.) But they’re THERE.The darkness of recall after some abductions may be that perhaps I just keep my eyes closed and that explains the general "blackness" that have replaced the past surrounding vivid abduction memories, dreamlike in quality.

"SLEEP!" "SLEEP!"

A hooded grey stands, tall, by the bed: "GO BACK TO SLEEP - DO NOT AWAKEN" forces my mind to resume dreaming. I am in blackness.

When I awake, bereft of memories, tired, I swing my legs over the bedside to reach the floor, and open my eyes.
A voice, in my head, not my own, but much like my own says:

"Time to activate"

That stops me cold as I rise. "Time to activate"?? That’s hardly my jargon, word-salad, choice of words to describe starting another day; "Time to activate" chills me as,(forgive me), EGO - ALIEN to my thought processes. Here again,
I’m left to wonder, "What does it mean?" What? (I’m left to feel as though a "walk -in" has occurred into my mind psyche; an interloper -possessing - entity. I refuse the thought; I don’t feel any differently.) But that sentence is so strange it haunts me days, later.

"Time to activate"

Am I being monitored? Controlled? It sure feels like "Time to activate" could be their jargon relating to the stoppage of oversleep pattern into the consciousness.

Or is it replete with psychic or bodily conscious monitoring?

"Time to activate"

Activate what?!

What does it mean?!

I feel as though my inviolate rights; rights over my body and spirit, have been repeatedly violated.
March - Just before going to bed I heard footfalls creaking the floorboards by the closet door. I close my eyes and mentally recite the Lord’s prayer. A vision of a naked woman is flashed into my mind; heavy -set, voluptuous. As I examine it, eyes closed, I realize that the image is imposed on me for mental intrusion. I reject the image and try to see Jesus’ face, or the ’Sacred Heart’ of love that God has for mankind.

A white macabre mask of "Scream"; the phantom mask, mouth agape, eyes grimacing looms into my mind. I recognize that, it too, has been imposed, forced on me, to possibly scare me or answer my thoughts. I turn over in bed, eyes closed and reject , pityingly and with contempt, the attempt to startle me, holding a scornful, condescending, judgmental , disapproval of the entities efforts, I hold the thought of how ridiculous, paltry and ineffective the attempt at intrusion is.

I drift into sleep, confidently holding those thoughts against the entities and trust to God and my spirit guides to protect me while I sleep.

"St. Michael, Archangel of all angels, who defended God in Heaven, against the Devil, I call upon you now to defend us in battle against the Devil, whom I rebuke, and with God’s help, send him to Hell, along with dark spirits who walk the

Earth seeking to destroy men’s souls. Amen."

"God, although I am not worthy, send me a guardian angel to protect me from evil; I ask God to surround me, wrap me, in a bubble of divine grace and light to protect my soul and body from being tampered with.

I ask that this white light of God’s Grace and protection come into my soul to cleanse and purify it. I send out all my negativity, through this white light, like so much dark smoke, hurting no one. And I ask that God protects me in this white light, all day and especially, when I sleep, at night. Please God, protect me this day and every night. Amen."

"St. Lucy, patron saint of blindness, give me vision to sense the invisible, to see into the darkness, to raise both my arms, in defense, against the darkness and to have the light, divine light, protect me against inter dimensional, invisible beings, who mean me ill." I drift off, into an uneasy sleep. ... If you BELIEVE strongly, that you are protected, somehow, they’ll leave you alone. Why? Presence of mind is our greatest weapon; the ridicule factor, is their best ’defense’... Who, in one’s ’right mind’ can one even discuss these things with? Paper, is indeed, much more patient, than people. When did thing get worse?

It started at 8:00 P.M., Saturday night , December 2nd, after a series of 22 ice storms, we, in New York sustained, that winter. The ground crunched under my feet; icy -snow- covered sidewalks, underfoot, total, thick overcast overhead.(Old temperature about 30o, and very little wind)

I glanced up, overhead, came into my backyard pantry door,gently dropped my groceries and stood, arms akimbo, stared up at a strange, but not yet disturbing or revealing sight. Overhead, a clean, crisp hole was cut into the overcast, revealing bright stars. It was as though a cookie- cutter had sliced a clean mile- circular hole, into the cloud - cover above.

Everywhere else was thickly overcast, but almost at zenith was a perfect circle of clearing. What looked like a red child’s balloon floated into view, a bright red against the stars and outlined blackness. The red balloon stopped, joined by two more, which joined the first.

All three balloons hung red, overhead, stopped, in the center of the ’hole’. As I stared at neck breaking zenith, puzzled at their not drifting, three more floated into view, at the rear of the growing formation, a flotilla, of red balloons.

All hung motionless overhead as I felt a sense of awe grow; my mouth fell open with raw wonder. As one more joined, slowly from the rear, assembling North to South, overhead, a group of Seven escaped red- children’s balloons, hovered in the center of a blackness with bright stars, cut into a heavy cloud cover. What were they? Balloons drift with the wind; they’re not migrating, hovering birds; what are they!?

I stared in wonder, awe tingling my forehead, stomach and arms.

Their color changed from bright red to light lavender purple, all together, all at once. Quickly, like minnows in a pond, they peeled off in pairs, from West to East, heading toward Montauk, and were gone in several seconds leaving the hole overhead; twinkling with stars; empty.

I am convinced that this "sighting" has everything to do with my spiritual and mental experiences of high strangeness.
Did they climb down the ladder of my awe to find me? Or is it that my "sighting’ was no ’accident’?

Which one came first, the chicken or the egg? Maybe, it was the farmer that came first. Was that ’circle’ for their needing visibility, or for me, needing visibility?

These meddling, harassing, unseen entities may be, in fact, the occupants of those ’crafts’ I stared at. I cannot be truly alone; they must be many; like me; aware, resistant, troubled, and amazed.

If nothing else, these ’critters’ have renewed wonder, in my life; the sense of AWE and faith; faith that the spirit world does, indeed, exist, and not only for malevolent entities. They’ve also destroyed the actuality and concept, itself, of getting a "good night’s sleep." Sleep is now replete with danger and loss of control; consciousness and my astral body wander, unknowing, while I sleep, among beasities and monsters.

My parents always told me, when I awoke from childhood nightmares that monsters did not exist, not real ones. But they were wrong.

I was always taught; then, reasonably; that there was nothing in the darkness that wasn’t already there in the daylight. They were wrong again.

So with the newfound, long lost, sense of faith and awe comes fear of the nighttime; the seeming prime time for bedroom visitors’ activities.

How do they ’vibrate’ a ’soul’ out of a body?

(Why bother?) You could simply take a sleeping body.

What are they up to?

Where do they come from?

The human mind- brain is a powerful tool; perhaps it can repulse their efforts; if I focus.

I am always residually amazed at their psychic -mind -controlling powers; powers that seem easy enough to unleash on people, during the daylight hours, not just when they’re dreaming, wrapped in self- delusional images.

(They seem to "enter" psychically, when one is in an altered state of awareness; hypnosis- like, as when one is driving or watching television; when "presence of mind" is altered, in some way. But sleeptime is commando tactics time, for them.

I thank God that I have rejected anxiety, as a constant companion, in my life, and now recognize its sudden, free- floating presence or its slow creeping presence as the signature symptom of psychic- intrusion.
What a revelation, for me, and for others suffering from chronic anxiety. Personally, I must avoid evoking anxiety, by life situations, poor decisions, family disagreements, and calmly trust in a loving God, no matter what hardships occur; so that I can recognize the EGO- ALIEN wave, flash of gut busting anxiety or even slowly building fear that signals me that they are "arrived" and already (partially) "inside".

March

I have been visited by the "Butcher."

Since I began resistance, I’ve been plagued with multiple, concurrent mouth infections that required general anesthesia and surgery; and now just a month later, my internist has confirmed " I can feel your gut coming through; it’s definitely a hernia."

(Pain in both sides of my groin area may mean a Double procedure...)

They mean business. (I am convinced that a good hypnotist is needed to give me unconscious protective techniques to serve me when I am unconscious, (in sleep. Can they ’infect’ or ’rip’ astral frequencies to ruin the body’s health?) God.
I am tempted to stop all psychic resistance and willingly relent if they will HEAL me, big -time; rather than watch my peripheral health slowly disintegrate, as I resist...

Their ’demon- like’ qualities were reflected in a peculiar incident, one afternoon, as I was reading; Celtic -Irish accounts of ’elementals’, ’earth -spirits’ and ’fairies’, who culturally bothered, harassed, visited, and abducted innocent people.

A thought came to me; "These aliens, these psychic -vampires are historically like indigenous cockroaches; culturally, they’ve been ’intrenched’ everywhere, and as cockroaches, seek as ’unwanted, unclean, vermin dangerous to one’s health!!" - Celtic folklore.

I was sitting in the same wooden chair, I am writing this now; seated at a table inlaid with floral- inlaid tile; my chair inches away from a wall where a Remington Western print and Paul Klee print hang. I got up, turned to rise and saw a monstrous, sedentary winged adult female cockroach, shiny in three fully inches of oily, resilient insect, on the wall, inches behind my recently moved head. I realized the potential for shock, panic, disgust, horror, fear, revulsion; infestation- anxiety(we are cockroach free); that those uncontrolled, negative feelings would feed the entity either in satisfaction or pure psychic energy. I controlled myself.

I walked over to the sink, breathing calmly, controlling my heartbeat and emotions, and in mild surprise and a modest sense of awe, at their seeming ability to pluck a creature I’d been thinking about interdimensionally, and respond to a mere unspoken thought, obviously monitored and appropriately, albeit evilly, responded to; I got a handful of towel- tissue, grabbed and drenched tight the enormous sexually mature cockroach and tossed the wad into the garbage pail, calmly.

Laconically, I thought "It’s a good thing I didn’t think of charging rhinos!"

The point is their omnipresent insidious, evil, mind- reading presence; I’d much rather be infested by cockroaches, than demons who can pull cockroaches out of thin air to make a point. The point is;, Evil: they’re in control are telepathic, in nature.

The Christians were right, about "sin"; not the Jews. The Jews say "sin" is an act; not a thought. (One can think about homosexuality, murder, theft, rape, but only the Act is sinful; one must not act upon one’s evil ideas.) The Ten Commandments speak only to overt acts, not thoughts. So does the U.S. law. The Christians believe God reads what is in the soul, or the mind, to know the inner ’sinner’. The evil is in the thought, itself. They are right; it’s in the mind.
I have repeated proof that the unseen spirit world exists, (can be sinister) and reads minds. Their minds; their motives are murky.

My faith in God has been strengthened, proportionately; with each troubling experience of high strangeness. If there is a bottom spectrum of unseen evil, as a bottom, there MUST be a top spectrum of goodness and divine protection.
I have been snuck into (God’s) faith by the back door. Only God knows, I need protection.

One of the off- shoots of harassment and other- worldly experiences, be it ghosts, revealing spirit -mediums, UFO abductions, is spiritual growth for the ’victim’. I don’t believe that these ’creatures’, harassing, malevolent, deceptive, are spirit guides who evolve our spirituality, but that such ’growth’ is incidental to experiences of high strangeness.
Fairies, Jinns, aliens, are molesting entities, difficult and dangerous to ’shake’. But the power of the mind, as a tool; to rebuke them, positively, in protection, is not enough.

Divine protection brings hope.

Physical and psychic resistance?

Pinched nerves, ripped stomach muscles, infected areas of the mouth, nosebleeds, (Copious and left nostril). Nightmares and exhaustion and tremors in the leg are the psychical ailments I’ve suffered concurrent with realization and resistance techniques. I know it’s no coincidence and I’m only marginally paranoid, even after all these odd experiences. But I feel I’ve been thwarting the farmer’s efforts to ’milk’ me and the ’butcher’ has been sent to lend ailment spite work, into the equation. I wish I could cause them BEREAVEMENT.

Anxiety- levels high, nervous late one night, hours before bed, aware of them, intrigued. Ensconced in the ironic sense of their plaguing omnipresence, I posed a question playfully, internally; "Who was I physically in my previous lifetime?" I wondered, since they tamper with souls, throughout, and harass, intergenerational, in families, as well, that they should have bothered me in previous soul experiences, as well as in this one. It was a frivolous, teasing, tangentially curious question, I asked, myself,knowing that my thoughts were monitored never realizing that I would be provided an answer, of sorts. I relived an evil moment of that life.

That night, I had a strange breathtakingly vivid dreamlike flash; unlike an evolving dream scenario, it was a five- second- long lightning flash, which was so short and so bright that like lightning, the scenes immediate afterimages have lingered without revealing the whole landscape. I was in mortal terror, panicked. I was in heart pounding transit, running fast through a series of apartment rooms whose high corner windows overlooked a six story modern street scene; cars moved among the parked vehicles,in bright sunlight,far below.

The sunlight outside was very bright, I ran, dry- mouthed, wide- eyed, gasping, in fear.From what and into whose hands i know not; I fearfully rounded windows which overlooked the front street corner seeking the door and ran passed a hall mirror, on the wall,just before I reached for the doorknob, in desperate haste to leave the flat. In that mirror, I caught a glimpse of myself running for my life, as the door opened, heart pounding, in full flight, now,in mortal terror, the scene turned to blackness and i awoke,dazzled.

Inside - The person who ran was me; me in every feeling and nuance and thought, me in attitudes, likes and inclinations.

Outside -Not me at all; The picture, the lighting flash afterimage of the person in the mirror was a young girl of twenties, with blues and blonde hair of medium length, small in stature, pinched thin features clutching a bright red pocketbook.The blue eyes were identical.

I awoke realizing immediately that my question, seriously considered, had been given, fractionally. Had they imposed these images, or ’retrieved’ them from my subconscious? Was it a lie?

(I was stunned that I was to admit believe that the recycled personality’s nature, is unalterable, that much could be called the soul.)

What troubled me was that I had received a powerful answer on many levels. They have monitored "me" in previous lifetimes when I was not "me" but really still was "me" and that is core to the abduction experience.They act as they recycle souls into bodies without the spirits ever seeing heaven or their angels or their messiah or their blueprints;we are hand puppets for alien creators playing God.

Why,then, were they interested in one’s soul? Can they "Splinter" the soul and kindle new flames from those sparks to create new souls for their own purposes; the way they would treat sperm or egg,hybrid baby samples, to create new somatic creatures?

I remember a voice in my head: "You are an old soul; a very old soul ..."

"We come from within",to me,means that with technology i have personally encountered, they can splinter sparks from , of our spirits to kindle new souls as well as they do take sexual and somatic cells to grow new beings This total playing of God ,in addition to recycling souls and bypassing heaven is designedly possession of the abductee -not by mere implants but by merging inserted alien bio electrical energies during an abduction session ,a true silent invasion,not unlike demonic possession ,but through machinery .

They are more interested in our spiritual essences than we are aware of our spiritual essences ;in this case, i awaken to find myself placed,bolted and strapped into a large heavily padded metal chair in a round dimly lit room ,about 20 ft wide,containing four such chairs, in a circle ,with large degraff generator looking poles ,with round heads, about ten feet high, two feet thick ,between the chairs. I can see,across the room,a huge hulking form of a man wearing a dark suit, opposite me ,also sitting,looking switched off or dead ,hunched into another heavily padded metal chair who faces me within the circle.

Spectacular displays of what looks like white firework sparkler-like sparks fly straight up,from these poles ,high into the air and are then quickly circled,cycled in a growing faster circle above both our heads,anticlockwise,in a circle of dazzling lights until parts of our energies are merged and merging,siphoned off into another hulking machine just beyond my sight

When I was nine or ten, school was immersing and enveloping. Once, during class, in the midst of grade school, in the fourth grade, during class, I realized that I had floated out of my body and, looking both ways to see, gauge, what reactions my classmates had to this miracle, and discovering none, whatsoever, floated up in delight and flew around the ceiling of the room. I saw all my classmates, below, engaged in animated conversation. Wild joy gripped my heart and I drifted through the large paned school windows unseen. I flew over buildings, chimneys, rooftop- advertisements, streets, the exhilaration of ’flying felt deep’ in my gut, wide eyed with ecstasy.

Somehow, I was suddenly sitting, back in class. The teacher questioning meaninglessly and I wondered how I’d returned. Nobody had known I was gone. I blinked and stared, looking around, feeling very peculiar; I had left the class, been outside and I knew I hadn’t just merely imagined such a thing.

I never mentioned this to anyone, ,until now,not even to myself.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 9 September 2006 17:26 (nineteen years ago)

i thought you said it just last week?

-- (688), Saturday, 9 September 2006 18:47 (nineteen years ago)

nasa tv is mesmerizing me right now

rrrobyn, the situation (rrrobyn), Saturday, 9 September 2006 18:57 (nineteen years ago)

nasa tv can be one of the best things on the internet. that and the astronomy pic of the day, when it's good.

trees (treesessplode), Saturday, 9 September 2006 19:46 (nineteen years ago)

what's going on right now? 5:30 pm est

a name means a lot just by itself (lfam), Saturday, 9 September 2006 20:29 (nineteen years ago)

like, with waking up. is anybody?

a name means a lot just by itself (lfam), Saturday, 9 September 2006 20:29 (nineteen years ago)

also with nasa tv

a name means a lot just by itself (lfam), Saturday, 9 September 2006 20:30 (nineteen years ago)

those who work night shift maybe?

trees (treesessplode), Saturday, 9 September 2006 20:34 (nineteen years ago)

it's not about power, it's not about money, it's not about war, it's about

a name means a lot just by itself (lfam), Sunday, 10 September 2006 13:22 (nineteen years ago)

http://img49.echo.cx/img49/8896/salmon1jt.jpg

bla$$$t (blastocyst), Sunday, 10 September 2006 13:35 (nineteen years ago)

http://gallery.wilwheaton.net/albums/randomimages/happywesley.jpg

trees (treesessplode), Sunday, 10 September 2006 14:01 (nineteen years ago)

move keg in shower

Really cool, wickedly cool, cooly cool bon apetit! (ex machina), Sunday, 10 September 2006 15:25 (nineteen years ago)

1. wake
2. shower/brush teefs
3. go to work

You guys live interesting lives.

a naked Kraken annoying Times Square tourists with an acoustic guitar (nickalici, Thursday, 14 September 2006 18:42 (nineteen years ago)

that was a weekend

a name means a lot just by itself (lfam), Thursday, 14 September 2006 18:43 (nineteen years ago)

mine too -- tho except for taking a nap, my day went exactly as I predicted on 9/9

Dominique (dleone), Thursday, 14 September 2006 18:50 (nineteen years ago)

average day
1. curse exhaustion and/or the last drink of night before
2. brew coffee
3. drink coffee, have cigarette, get frustraed by npr
4. make salad, put hummus in smaller tupperware
5. try and find a shirt that needen't be pressed
6. try and decideon record for train; pack 6 to be safe
7. leave ten minutes late regardless of attempts to do otherwise

recently

wake unexplicably at 2-4. check mail, etc. consume up to 3 cups of coffee, pace very quietly, fall asleep on couch for fifteen minutes..wake ina flush, proceed to normal routine

bb (bbrz), Thursday, 14 September 2006 18:53 (nineteen years ago)


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