unleash the inner bro

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-- kephm (dogtheprophe...) (webmail), Today 10:17 PM. (kephm) (later) (link) (admin) (userip)

uh, puerto rican girls or kate masonicboom wearing corduroy pants?

I KIND OF MISS PHISH.

2. http://www.4x4hummer.com/images/1427.jpg

Reply to: mailto:partyhousenumberone@yahoo.com

Date: 2006-02-02, 8:09PM PST

Snatch up this deal.
Totally sick pad located in great part of Cow Hollow/Marina. It is a four bedroom flat with two full baths, nice hardwood floors, a big kitchen with top of the line modern appliances, 500 lb grill (you can cook for a fuckin' army on this thing), an extra refrigerator stocked full of beer, a huge living room-20'x 25', with 42 inch plasma TV, surround sound, and nice couches. It is an old house with modern appliances and is newly refurbished-bro it is so sweet! We are the top flat and our downstairs neighbors are tech dorks so we do what we want, including indoor drunken wrestling and pounding the shit out of...ah don't want to get kicked off of Craigslist.

The room is huge (15'x 16') with a walk-in closet, new carpeting, and two big windows.

We are three old friends, mid 20's, looking for a fourth roommate. All of us are pretty tight, we were in the same fraternity, Delta Sigma Phi, at UCLA. I am in PR and my bros are brokers, one is an exchange and the other insurance. We work hard and play even harder. We usually go out three to four nights a week. Always, I mean always, on Friday and Saturday. We have our favorite clubs and bars and are straight up players. Our interests are sports, nice shit, beer, and hot women (but sometimes you get what you can take). Send us a bio. about yourself and answer these questions:

1.) Where are you from and where did you go to college?
2.) What did you major in and were you in a frat?
3.) What do you do for a living?
4.) Do you like to party and how many beers can you drink in a night?
5.) What sports did you/do you play?
6.) What kind of a car do you drive?
7.) How many girls have you crushed (we posted a similar ad days ago and people dodged this question, DON'T DO THAT, we want numbers)?
8.) How long have you lived in the city and how many sluts do you know (for booty calls)?
9.) What could you add to this household and why should we pick you?

These questions are no joke, we are serious. This is what we do and who we are-so don't be offended, we are just being honest. We will send pics. after we get your email and if we like you. We didn't say this before but our buddy's dad owns this shit and that is why the rent is so cheap, I mean we could charge like $1300 for the room.

Rent is $950
Utilities are around 100 a month, includes wireless, 500 channels, and lots of porn.
Deposit is $1250
No lease, month to month.
No pets

I saw your add on craigslist. You house sounds like a fun time. I too enjoy drinking and crushing bitches... preferably while drinking. But who doesn't right? You want the inside scoop to make sure you don't wind up living with some loser who just talks a big game, but can't back it up with action. And when I say action, I of course mean crushing bitches while drinking.

Anyways, you had some questions for me.

1. I'm originally from Chicago. Consequently, like most Chicagoans, despite living in the Bay Area for going on 6 years now, I could give two shits about any sports teams from here. I am a Bears fan, a Bulls fan, and a White Sox fan. And, yes I've always been a White Sox fan. I have ample proof. Accusing me of being a bandwagoner is a good way to get hurt.

I went to Berkeley.

2. I majored in English and I was in Sigma Chi. I don't know what the fuck Delta Sigma Phi is. Sounds like a bunch of FAGS to me though. You seem to have left the part out of your ad where after drunken wrestling you all break out the cooking spray and corn hole each other, then you break out the double dildos for some hot ass to ass action, screaming like bicthes all the while, to the consternation of the tech dorks downstairs, I'm sure.

3. I'm a writer. I used to work for Maxim but I had to quit because they started putting ugly old bitches on the cover, like Cindy Crawford and Nicolette Sheridan. Then this month they put Hilary Duff's little sister and that was the last straw for me. Every time I see that girl's face it makes me want to chase her down, strap a saddle on her, and cram a fist full of hay down her throat. Currently I'm looking for a new job with a quality men's magazine that only puts HOT bitches on the cover, like Dakota Fanning.

4. Do I like to party? What kind of question is that? Is the sun hot? Is the sun bright? Is the son composed entirely of hydrogen and helium atoms which are continually ripped asunder and recombined, releasing immense amounts of atomic energy that enable life to exist on Earth? Hell fucking yeah bros I like to party.

How many beers can I drink in a night? More that you, you Delta Sigma Phi pussies. Why don't you go cry in the corner while I fuck your girlfriend? How many beers can I drink... Jesus.

5. In high school I ran track. My events were hurdles (high and int.), pole vault, discus and shotput. In college I was on the Tae Know Do team, but I had to quit because I threw my back out having sex with a fat girl. That was a mistake. I shouldn't have drank those 278 beer that night. Now I don't do any competitive sports. I just basically hit the gym a few times a week... blast the pecs and quads, you know. Oh and I skateboard.

6. A BMW 3-series. White. Three horny bitches come standard. WHAT!

7. What? Today? HA! j/k I've crushed 12. Pretty low number, I know, but I've also ass crushed 7 of them. I have mouth crushed countless filthy slamhogs. Slamhogs are my passion.

8. I've lived in the city for 2.5 years and I know a few sluts. Especially this one girl Linda. She'll bang anything (hopefully your house is wheelchair accessable?) As far as exact number I can't really say. Some are strictly sluts, while some stand on the razor's edge between slut and whore, and still some others are just plain whores. But you know me, I don't sweat these hos I let these hos, you know what I'm saying bro? I'm always down to meet more though.

9. Well lets see. As far as what I could add, I have tons of music and a hardrive full of porn. It's all straight porn though, so I don't know how much good that will do you. I also have turn tables and a bunch of records, great for parties (DJs get the bitches all wet). I have a lot of good stereo equipment, and I have a great hook up on the date rape drug - good for those girls who are all stuck up and shit. As far as why you should pick me, that's easy. Because I'm way fucking cooler that any of the other limp dick, Abercrombie wearing, Old School worshipping, trucker hat wearing poser fags that are going to answer you shitty ad.

Now can you party or can't you?

Smooches,
PETE

zing

BroApp.

http://www.today.com/tech/ladies-beware-new-app-lets-guys-auto-text-their-girlfriends-2D12181957

Here’s how BroApp works: A bro can select pre-programmed texts to send to his girlfriend, but app users are encouraged to either edit those, or write their own, original versions. Then he sets the time and date to send the text and the app does the rest. Tom and James also built in some precautionary safety features — the app knows the woman’s WiFi, for instance, so she won’t get an awkward text if the bro who pre-programmed the message is at her house. It will also cancel a scheduled message if either member of the couple recently called or texted the other. And just in case a gal wants a peek at someone’s BroApp, she’s put on “girlfriend safety lock down” and misdirected to a fake list of gifts the guy is fake-planning on buying her.