big johnson tribute thread

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Big Johnson is a line of humorous T-shirts created in the late 1980s and is still in production. The shirts became a fad because of suggestive humor, employing double entendre. Designs follow the exploits of E. Normus Johnson and whatever object or job he happens to have, which is referred to as his "Big Johnson". For example, "Big Johnson Mud Tires: No hole's too deep or sloppy when you've got a Big Johnson." Art usually contains several pop culture references that may (or may not) deal with the subject.

http://www.bigjohnson.com/nhof2003main.html

― and what (ooo), Sunday, 8 October 2006 21:33 (twenty years ago)

do u know how hard it is to find those in my size on ebay????

― disappointing goth fest line-up (orion), Sunday, 8 October 2006 21:36 (twenty years ago)

ANDWHAT: theyre based in baltimore
ANDWHAT: 1801 Portal Street | Baltimore, MD 21224 | 1-800-229-3267
ANDWHAT: you gotta go visit the big johnson offices
ANDWHAT: itll be like when bart goes to mad
STRONGO: "where's my fershlugginer pastrami sandwich"

― and what (ooo), Sunday, 8 October 2006 21:37 (twenty years ago)

i interviewed there a few years ago

― am0n (am0n), Sunday, 8 October 2006 23:24 (twenty years ago)

lol i guess ian's johnson isn't big enough

― a name means a lot just by itself (lfam), Sunday, 8 October 2006 23:30 (twenty years ago)

ima derail this thread with:

COED NAKED LACROSSE

― chakra khan chakra khan (sanskrit), Monday, 9 October 2006 00:07 (twenty years ago)

white baseball hat that says "cocks"

― am0n (am0n), Monday, 9 October 2006 00:19 (twenty years ago)

they've expanded their market lately
http://www.bigjohnson.com/assetts/images/allimages/sub120a.jpg

― milo z (mlp), Monday, 9 October 2006 00:54 (twenty years ago)

the interview was ostensibly w/ maryland screenprinters. it wasn't until i got there and they showed me their "latest line" of big johnson designs that i realized the prospect of me working there was NOT GONNA HAPPEN

― am0n (am0n), Monday, 9 October 2006 01:46 (twenty years ago)

"put the SHAFT in the HOLE"

― chakra khan chakra khan (sanskrit), Monday, 9 October 2006 01:47 (twenty years ago)

aka penis in vagina

― chakra khan chakra khan (sanskrit), Monday, 9 October 2006 01:47 (twenty years ago)

where's the one with big johnson holding up the pup tent with his dong. that's the one i remember some dipstick got written up for or something in middle school

― latebloomer: just raw dead fucking babies (latebloomer), Monday, 9 October 2006 01:47 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.g-mo.com/images/store/g-mo_gotbigunit_slick.jpg

― trees (treesessplode), Monday, 9 October 2006 02:48 (twenty years ago)

http://www.brassballssaloon.com/images/p-001.jpg
http://www.brassballssaloon.com/images/p-003.jpg
http://www.brassballssaloon.com/images/p-004.jpg

― am0n (am0n), Monday, 9 October 2006 02:54 (twenty years ago)

MARYLAND LOVES ITS OVERSIZED GENITALIA-THEMED DOUBLE ENTENDRE

― am0n (am0n), Monday, 9 October 2006 02:57 (twenty years ago)

omg this just came up in conversation yesterday

― sleep (sleep), Monday, 9 October 2006 03:14 (twenty years ago)

white baseball hat that says "cocks"

-- am0n (vvv...), October 8th, 2006. (am0n) (later) (link) (admin)

i have two (2) COCKS t-shirts

― sometimes my entire life be like DAMNNN! (tehresa), Monday, 9 October 2006 03:18 (twenty years ago)

http://img206.imageshack.us/img206/5986/stussyqn7.jpg
http://img206.imageshack.us/img206/7537/930md2.jpg

― ath (ath), Monday, 9 October 2006 03:29 (twenty years ago)

i have two (2) COCKS t-shirts

-- sometimes my entire life be like DAMNNN! (melissais...), October 9th, 2006 12:18 AM. (tehresa)

I H8 U!!!!!! (j/k lol)

― am0n (am0n), Monday, 9 October 2006 05:01 (twenty years ago)

i have the stussy t-shirt w/ that on the back

― HUNTA-V (vahid), Monday, 9 October 2006 05:02 (twenty years ago)

GIGANTIC PENIS

― am0n (am0n), Monday, 9 October 2006 05:12 (twenty years ago)

I HAVE THAT TOO

― HUNTA-V (vahid), Monday, 9 October 2006 05:14 (twenty years ago)

U SHOULD BE ON A T-SHIRT IN MD. BIG VAHID'S TECHNO

― am0n (am0n), Monday, 9 October 2006 05:20 (twenty years ago)

12 INCHES FROM DETROIT

― HUNTA-V (vahid), Monday, 9 October 2006 05:42 (twenty years ago)

CRABBY DICK'S crab restaurant in south florida

― a name means a lot just by itself (lfam), Monday, 9 October 2006 06:09 (twenty years ago)

this one's in delaware. their seaman sauce is out of this world, apparently.
http://www.dumbnerd.com/pictures/crabby.jpg

― trees (treesessplode), Monday, 9 October 2006 14:19 (twenty years ago)

http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/coolrags_1918_7181111

― shabba ranks (dubplatestyle), Monday, 9 October 2006 14:22 (twenty years ago)

My roomy has a Big Johnson's laptop t-shirt, confirmed: the only fratboy computer nerd.

I don't remember the joke though, I figured the fact that he wore it was joke enough.

― got yourself a fish biscuit! (nickalicious), Monday, 9 October 2006 14:32 (twenty years ago)

I used to be in a band with a guy who literally only owned shirts that followed the "farfrompukin" template ("fuckinshroomin" etc).

― got yourself a fish biscuit! (nickalicious), Monday, 9 October 2006 14:34 (twenty years ago)

my big johnson cover story idea was shot down u_u

― shabba ranks (dubplatestyle), Monday, 9 October 2006 21:28 (twenty years ago)

……..\,-*`¯,*`)…………,-~*`~.………….../
……...|/.../…/~,…...-~*,-~*`;……………./.\
……../.../…/…/..,-,..*~,.`*~*…………….*...\
…….|.../…/…/.*`...\...……………………)….)¯`~,
…….|./…/…./…….)……,.)`*~-,……….../….|..)…`~-,

― a name means a lot just by itself (lfam), Monday, 9 October 2006 21:38 (twenty years ago)

someone photoshop harbl into a big johnson graphic!!1

― a name means a lot just by itself (lfam), Monday, 9 October 2006 21:39 (twenty years ago)

my friend is gonna open a restaurant next door to Hooters called Cooters. the logo is gonna be a camel. on top of the camel is gonna be a beaver holding a clam. and they're all gonna be in a boat.

― jaxon (jaxon), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 00:36 (twenty years ago)

i pledge $5 already

― shabba ranks (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 00:44 (twenty years ago)

five months pass...

omg the big johnson story idea is BACK ON

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 19:01 (nineteen years ago)

fantastic

― bb, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 19:10 (nineteen years ago)

the compleat history of the retarded ocean city t-shirt

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 19:12 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.foureyesjokeshop.com/ProductImages/BEERBELLYTSHIRT.jpg

― latebloomer, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 22:14 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.ainttheycute.com/Censored-t-shirts/images/A5598H-lg.jpg

― Lingbert, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 23:06 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.denizensofdoom.com/mirror/dod/big_johnson.jpg

― strongohulkington, Monday, 16 April 2007 20:25 (nineteen years ago)

do y'all have any questions for the big johnson people btw

― strongohulkington, Monday, 16 April 2007 20:25 (nineteen years ago)

yea, do the Big Johnson people get along with the Co-Ed Naked people these days, or does the feud rage on??

― elmo argonaut, Monday, 16 April 2007 20:30 (nineteen years ago)

yes, i have a question. what is it that made you think producing these shirts was a good idea and why haven't you seen the error of your ways yet?

― chicago kevin, Monday, 16 April 2007 20:37 (nineteen years ago)

ah but see, they have branched out:

http://www.bigjohnson.com/assetts/images/allimages/sol205a.jpg

― strongohulkington, Monday, 16 April 2007 20:38 (nineteen years ago)

I would like to know who E. Normous Johnson was modeled after. I wonder if it was one of their friends.

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Tuesday, 17 April 2007 04:30 (nineteen years ago)

Or Steve Albini.

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Tuesday, 17 April 2007 04:30 (nineteen years ago)

And what does the E. stand for?

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Tuesday, 17 April 2007 04:31 (nineteen years ago)

ian "normous" johnson

― haitch, Tuesday, 17 April 2007 05:12 (nineteen years ago)

all this will be revealed and more

― strongohulkington, Tuesday, 17 April 2007 12:30 (nineteen years ago)

is it true that e. normous johnson has had to take viagra in the past few years to be able to perform on-shirt

― am0n, Tuesday, 17 April 2007 13:37 (nineteen years ago)

i love this thread so much

― s1ocki, Tuesday, 17 April 2007 15:57 (nineteen years ago)

http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/coolrags_1946_16586628

― Hurting 2, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 03:41 (nineteen years ago)

for roger a.daltrey

http://www.bigjohnson.com/assetts/images/allimages/sj7963a.jpg

― am0n, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 04:03 (nineteen years ago)

i meet with e. normus johnson in less than three hours

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 12:22 (nineteen years ago)

don't look him directly in the eye

― am0n, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 13:31 (nineteen years ago)

who's got the ten and a half?

― bb, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 13:36 (nineteen years ago)

e pluribus unum johnson

― am0n, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 13:49 (nineteen years ago)

don't blow it jess

― am0n, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 14:45 (nineteen years ago)

when dreams become reality.

― ian, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 14:52 (nineteen years ago)

finally, after 14 years, i own a big johnson t-shirt

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 17:28 (nineteen years ago)

i spent the entire bus ride out to dundalk and back thinking up penis puns i can work into the article

cf. "the friend who first told me that Big Johnson was a member of the local chamber of commerce."

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 17:28 (nineteen years ago)

"the growth and expansion of the big johnson empire"

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 17:30 (nineteen years ago)

i dont know why ian 'normous' johnson is still killing me

― and what, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 17:34 (nineteen years ago)

Do you know if the head of Big Johnson is the sensitive sort?

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 17:34 (nineteen years ago)

have they ever gotten the shaft from copycats and pirates?

― s1ocki, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 17:44 (nineteen years ago)

it would be funny if jess pulled out all the puns in his interview and then later got sued for sexual harassment

― s1ocki, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 17:44 (nineteen years ago)

even if if coming up with puns wasn't so hard, i doubt i'd have the stamina to keep it up for over 1,500 words

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 17:45 (nineteen years ago)

then again i've found myself in tighter spots than that

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 17:47 (nineteen years ago)

it would be funny if jess pulled out all the puns in his interview

Yeah,... if he pulled them out... OF HIS PANTS!!! WHERE A PENIS IS!

even if if coming up with puns wasn't so hard

Oh, it's "hard" alright.... BONER HARD!!!

― iiiijjjj, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 17:49 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, come on, asswit.

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 17:50 (nineteen years ago)

pwned by retards in a pun beef

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 17:50 (nineteen years ago)

then again i've found myself in tighter spots than that

Yeah... like a BUTT!!

(Hey, strongo, just kidding dude. I'm just clownin' around, no harm no foul bro? We cool?)

― iiiijjjj, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 17:51 (nineteen years ago)

...

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 17:53 (nineteen years ago)

lot of stiff competition in the t-shirt market

― am0n, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 17:53 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, come on, asswit.

Oh... Beleive me... I'll come on alright... COME ON YOUR MOM'S BOOBS, USING MY ERECTION!!!

― iiiijjjj, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 17:53 (nineteen years ago)

c on b's?

― chicago kevin, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 17:56 (nineteen years ago)

actually after talking to him, i'm pretty sure the head of big johnson is a noize dude

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 18:12 (nineteen years ago)

noize dude in situ

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 18:12 (nineteen years ago)

do you guys remember Bear Whiz shirts? one dude in my HS was really fond of them...

http://www.bearwhiz.com/bwsplsh.gif

― M@tt He1ges0n, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 18:35 (nineteen years ago)

haha quote of the interview:

strongo: "so where are your big markets these days?"
big johnson ceo: "it's kind of like a presidential election. you know when they do the map with the red and blue states? the red ones."

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 18:36 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...

good job, i lol'd

― am0n, Monday, 28 May 2007 19:08 (nineteen years ago)

rofl at ceo!

― latebloomer, Monday, 28 May 2007 19:15 (nineteen years ago)

has the interview been published somewhere?

― latebloomer, Monday, 28 May 2007 19:16 (nineteen years ago)

LINK!!!

― s1ocki, Monday, 28 May 2007 20:07 (nineteen years ago)

NEXT DOOR MIKE knows what's up! Brooklyn's local playboy is ready to impress with his GOT BIG UNIT? long sleeve t-shirt.

― sleep, Monday, 28 May 2007 20:10 (nineteen years ago)

http://citypaper.com/special/story.asp?id=13668

― TOMBOT, Monday, 28 May 2007 20:15 (nineteen years ago)

thanks!

― latebloomer, Monday, 28 May 2007 20:16 (nineteen years ago)

ahead of the curve on the dunkeroo

― TOMBOT, Monday, 28 May 2007 20:23 (nineteen years ago)

The Big Johnson NASCAR car--at one point in 1996 the driver was, wait for it, Dick Trickle--scored big in 1995 at the Dover International Speedway in Delaware, but NASCAR sponsorship proved too costly for a company that didn't have the penetration of a Coke or a Kodak.

heh

― latebloomer, Monday, 28 May 2007 20:25 (nineteen years ago)

In the summer of '89, Pfeifer came up with a T-shirt design that played on that old stand-by to make insecure guys feel better: "it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean." "We said it is the size of the boat," Pfeifer says with pride, as if this realization had finally cracked the impossible penis pun code.

big lol

― s1ocki, Monday, 28 May 2007 20:29 (nineteen years ago)

thank you, thank you

i'm glad someone revived this. i was going to link, but then i thought i should just let big johnson come up on its own.

― strongohulkington, Monday, 28 May 2007 22:41 (nineteen years ago)

"born in a moment of impotence."

― am0n, Monday, 28 May 2007 22:46 (nineteen years ago)

i'm most proud of the one tight spot where i managed to squeeze three puns into

― strongohulkington, Monday, 28 May 2007 22:52 (nineteen years ago)

great article!

― M@tt He1ges0n, Friday, 1 June 2007 00:04 (nineteen years ago)

but then i thought i should just let big johnson come up on its own.

I see what you did there

― Curt1s Stephens, Friday, 1 June 2007 00:20 (nineteen years ago)

that jessica is some writer

― gabbneb, Friday, 1 June 2007 03:40 (nineteen years ago)

two years pass...

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2010/0129103mugs4.html

Arrested for drunk driving, possession of alcohol under 21.

http://i.cdn.turner.com/trutv/thesmokinggun.com/graphics/art4/0129103mugs4.jpg

― ♖♕♖ (am0n), Monday, 1 February 2010 23:08 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2010/0129103mugs13.html

― big hoos state of mind (J0rdan S.), Monday, 1 February 2010 23:13 (sixteen years ago)

e. normous tattoo

― ♖♕♖ (am0n), Monday, 1 February 2010 23:15 (sixteen years ago)

Bet he felt like a dick.

― might seem normal (snoball), Monday, 1 February 2010 23:16 (sixteen years ago)

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