I need a life skills coach,

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HOW DO I TIE MY SHOES? WHICH LEG DO I PUT IN MY PANTS FIRST?

― calvin johnson has ruined rock for an entire generation (orion), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 16:41 (eighteen years ago)

it's your day off. don't wear pants.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 16:45 (eighteen years ago)

HOW DO I KEEP FROM ALIENATING PEOPLE I MEET WITHIN THE FIRST 30 DAYS

― bo janglin (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 16:45 (eighteen years ago)

HOW MUCH TIME PLAYING TETRIS IS TOO MUCH

― bo janglin (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 16:46 (eighteen years ago)

wear pants.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 16:46 (eighteen years ago)

answer to both of jess's questions: become unemployed.

(man i'd be a great life coach for you dudes)

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 16:47 (eighteen years ago)

move up to Lumines.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 16:47 (eighteen years ago)

is there a free lumines clone? it'd be rad if people could release song+skin packs for one...

― roc u like a § (ex machina), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 16:54 (eighteen years ago)

I dunno what yer grumping about, Ian -- you can make pulled pork and mac'n'cheese. What else does a person need in this life?

― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 17:04 (eighteen years ago)

You know who else will appreciate this thread? G Puzzleworth. I wait with gleeful anticipation...

― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 17:07 (eighteen years ago)

right now, i'm not wearing pants. it is also my day off

― gbx (skowly), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 17:08 (eighteen years ago)

I NEED PEOPLE WHO MAKE SURE I DO THE FOLLOWING:
-LAUNDRY
-EAT VEGETABLES

i put pants on. and a shirt. i look snappy.

― calvin johnson has ruined rock for an entire generation (orion), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 17:12 (eighteen years ago)

dude, chill out: Laurel now lives only two blocks away!

― gbx (skowly), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 17:13 (eighteen years ago)

best news of 2006.

― calvin johnson has ruined rock for an entire generation (orion), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 17:15 (eighteen years ago)

i need a "pep talk" (in the "thick-necked coach berating his team of losers" sense)

― the 48 states competition (1939) (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 17:16 (eighteen years ago)

i'm also a team of losers these days. :-/

― gbx (skowly), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 17:16 (eighteen years ago)

Well, not quite yet. Mid-month-ish.

Ian, write things down on a calendar? Make un grand plan?

YOU GUYS. Christ almighty, chins up.

― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 17:18 (eighteen years ago)

you need someone to call you a panty-waisted snivelling faggot? i am capable of stentorian volume and can sound rageful on cue!

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 17:19 (eighteen years ago)

you need someone to call you a panty-waisted snivelling faggot?

haha yes

― the 48 states competition (1939) (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 17:23 (eighteen years ago)

you couldn't catch a wrench with magnetized gloves!

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 17:24 (eighteen years ago)

how do i "calm down"?

― bo janglin (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 17:25 (eighteen years ago)

Why little bros all so down? You are all awesome and deserve good things. Here, have a cookie.

― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 17:28 (eighteen years ago)

http://192.20.225.55/tts/speech/9f6fce4c47b8d22d6f52167bc2cd46ed.wav

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 17:30 (eighteen years ago)

i was going to Leave A Message For Ian Johnson with that thing!

― gbx (skowly), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 17:33 (eighteen years ago)

Ian, you know I just want to put everyone I care about in one place so I can soak them up and make sure nothing bad ever happens to anyone. I am a little touched in the head, it's true.

― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 17:45 (eighteen years ago)

how do i "calm down"?

my new prescription for ativan is working wonders on this front.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 18:29 (eighteen years ago)

yeah i seriously can't wait until my health insurance kicks in. doped to the gills.

― bo janglin (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 18:30 (eighteen years ago)

dobie to the gillis

― cousin larry bundgee (bundgee), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 18:42 (eighteen years ago)

i think i would make a good life coach. but i think a lot of people think that. i do eat vegetables every day, and fruit.

but who will coach the life coaches??

you know what i just did? i "tidied" b/c people are visiting later. i felt like my mom. it's fine.

― rrrobyn, the situation (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 20:33 (eighteen years ago)

oh but you know what i saw today in the park/"mountain": these two women pushing strollers (with babies in them) (uphill) and doing like high-stepping at the same time while this woman ran alongside them and yelled (sorta nicely) at them in french to keep going, 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and 5 and etc!! WOAH.

― rrrobyn, the situation (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 20:36 (eighteen years ago)

http://rich gee.com/

― autovac (autovac), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 22:26 (eighteen years ago)

I need a time management coach and a manboobiotomy.

― diebold with a vengeance (nickalicious), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 22:40 (eighteen years ago)

Haha this thread already reminded me to check my diary -> no 7.45AM "uh the kids are all unsupervised isn't it yr day" bitchout for me!

I don't even know what pulled pork is. What is pulled pork?

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Wednesday, 8 November 2006 22:33 (eighteen years ago)

― bo janglin (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 8 November 2006 22:37 (eighteen years ago)

Urge to post pics of masturbating at all time high.

― diebold with a vengeance (nickalicious), Wednesday, 8 November 2006 22:41 (eighteen years ago)

UH WHAT.

[SOUTHWILLRISEAGAINWITHOURSUPERIORFOODAGE].JPG

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Wednesday, 8 November 2006 22:45 (eighteen years ago)

I need someone to remind me how not to be an asshole in normal conversation.

― calvin johnson has ruined rock for an entire generation (orion), Wednesday, 8 November 2006 23:10 (eighteen years ago)

i do, too.

this is especially a problem since all my friends back in Chi are (lovable) assholes, and everyone in Montana is so fucking EARNEST

― gbx (skowly), Wednesday, 8 November 2006 23:11 (eighteen years ago)

the trick is to smile while being an asshole. it will be understood as "charm"

― Dr. Alicia D. Titsovich (sexyDancer), Wednesday, 8 November 2006 23:18 (eighteen years ago)

i need a life coach, too. my sister is supposedly my life coach. i feel ruhl BORIN' lately. and I do not excel at the following skills

- folding clothes
- putting clothes in their designated space (closet, drawers, etc)
- doing dishes
- resisting the urge to just toss my shoes off in a pile when i walk in the door

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Wednesday, 8 November 2006 23:18 (eighteen years ago)

sexyD otm

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 8 November 2006 23:18 (eighteen years ago)

i am a charming motherfucker

― gbx (skowly), Wednesday, 8 November 2006 23:18 (eighteen years ago)

i am really grumpy, people seem to think its cute, though.

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Wednesday, 8 November 2006 23:24 (eighteen years ago)

the trick is to smile while being an asshole. it will be understood as "charm"
-- Dr. Alicia D. Titsovich (evi...), Today. (sexyDancer) (link)

that's pretty hard to fall for in my experience

― a name means a lot just by itself (lfam), Wednesday, 8 November 2006 23:39 (eighteen years ago)

the trick is to smile while being an asshole. it will be understood as "charm"

or "corporate america"

― Steve Shasta (Steve Shasta), Wednesday, 8 November 2006 23:44 (eighteen years ago)

Oy oy oy, earnestness is EXHAUSTING. I went to a Christmas party last year and met someone else there named Laurel and I thought we could, like, bond through bitching about the things that can go wrong with this name but it was like everything I said flew directly into an airspace approx three inches to the left of her ear and never entered her head at all, while she projected only cutsie goodwill at me. I gave up after about seven minutes.

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 9 November 2006 02:21 (eighteen years ago)

Being an asshole is also why I can never move out of New York, I think: at least here I'm just one of many, and not The Asshole in any given group. Me in California would just be a disaster.

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 9 November 2006 02:22 (eighteen years ago)

my favo life coach is rhonda from nbc's starting over. id totally hit that.

http://www.fearlessliving.org/files/content_images/rhonda_emmy.jpg

― chaki (chaki), Thursday, 9 November 2006 02:43 (eighteen years ago)

nice emmy

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 9 November 2006 02:56 (eighteen years ago)

you, too, can have an emmy

― a name means a lot just by itself (lfam), Thursday, 9 November 2006 02:58 (eighteen years ago)

id fuck her emmy too

― chaki (chaki), Thursday, 9 November 2006 02:59 (eighteen years ago)

emmy or not, here i come

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 9 November 2006 03:03 (eighteen years ago)

I think ppl are confusing assholism with, I dunno, tartness, unsentimentalism, etc. I find the biggest assholes are usually wearing a smile and doing a smooth tapdance to cover the agenda.

Ian, p'rhaps you just need a weed-withholding coach. Get high on life, and America! (i stole that fr an old Doonesbury)

(also mayb you and Laurel shd go to BAM to see a martial-arts movie with me)

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:29 (eighteen years ago)

What movie what movie?

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:33 (eighteen years ago)

My Young Auntie next Monday before WW? (ach, too early for Ian, I bet)

http://bam.org/film/series.aspx?id=104

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:45 (eighteen years ago)

Fuck, Morbs, I can't; I have a freelance gig until 10pm and am barely going to make the Ward. WHY IS EVERYTHING GOOD HAPPENING AT ONCET??

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:56 (eighteen years ago)

well, Dirty Ho after T'giving maybe!

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:57 (eighteen years ago)

Oh yeah, that looks great. I put on calendar.

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 9 November 2006 15:06 (eighteen years ago)

Meeting people is okay!

Doing things quickly is the area I can't handle really I think - we have kids w/ really bad organisational problems here and they take 15-20 minutes to change for sport which is lols but I take like 35 reliably and cannot cut this down? Srsly I cannot work this out, it is like 5x45 second processes but somehow I cannot start them within five minutes of each other.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 9 November 2006 23:45 (eighteen years ago)

I need a time management coach and a manboobiotomy.

-- diebold with a vengeance (crucial.bonu...), November 7th, 2006.

cosign

― latebloomer and his 'Cyborg Companion', Hacker (latebloomer), Friday, 10 November 2006 08:38 (eighteen years ago)

Greg, have you tried having confirmed places for things? Like "Shoes go HERE" right inside the front door, "JACKET HANGS HERE" on the coatrack, etc etc? Because I know it's possible to lose one shoe in the process of putting on the other one. Not that you should have to learn a whole new bag of tricks because your current tricks are pretty good, really, but it might help to know you can master some things if you absolutely must.

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 10 November 2006 14:01 (eighteen years ago)

And hey, you can change a bicycle tire!!

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 10 November 2006 14:05 (eighteen years ago)

That is a very, very good life skill.

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 10 November 2006 14:05 (eighteen years ago)

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