DEAR NABISCO

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plz change yr screen name to "nabisco otm". this would be awesome in a number of ways.

xo
j

ps i am not trying to make fun of you.

pps ur are otm really.

ppps there's a weird paper flapping noise in my house.

luv
j

― jhoshea (scoopsnoodle), Saturday, 13 January 2007 12:20 (eighteen years ago)

it was a mouse

― jhoshea (scoopsnoodle), Saturday, 13 January 2007 12:20 (eighteen years ago)

You fail to realize is that there is a thread category on Noize Board named "nabisco otm" and you did not put this thread in that category1!!:

http://ilx.wh3rd.net/category.php?catid=493

You're fired!

― Steve Shasta (Steve Shasta), Saturday, 13 January 2007 18:48 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.dn.no/multimedia/archive/00083/HB-Donald_Trump_83257h.jpg

― Tim Ellison = NUMBER ONE ADVOCATE OF YOU-KNOW-WHAT ON NU-ILX!!! (Tim Ellison), Saturday, 13 January 2007 19:12 (eighteen years ago)

aw shits!

― jhoshea notm (scoopsnoodle), Saturday, 13 January 2007 19:30 (eighteen years ago)

yay nabs

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 13 January 2007 21:02 (eighteen years ago)

nabisco has his very own thread category:
http://ilx.wh3rd.net/category.php?catid=493
noted there are no additions to it (yet), but that's definitely a welcomemat and a cozy set of slippers if i've ever seen one.

-- Steve Shasta (steveshast...), July 3rd, 2006.

― tony conrad schnitzler (sanskrit), Sunday, 14 January 2007 00:18 (eighteen years ago)

http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/1496/otmsp6.gif

― tony conrad schnitzler (sanskrit), Sunday, 14 January 2007 00:19 (eighteen years ago)

http://subtle.ca/oreo.jpg http://www.montesangiorgio.ch/images/otm.jpg

― Michael J McGonigal (mike mcgonigal), Sunday, 14 January 2007 03:56 (eighteen years ago)

ASK NABISCO

― nabisco otm (nabisco), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 18:06 (eighteen years ago)

come on do it add the otm claim yr rightful throne plzzzzz

― jhoshea (scoopsnoodle), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 18:13 (eighteen years ago)

AWESOME!!!!

― jhoshea (scoopsnoodle), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 18:22 (eighteen years ago)

dear nabisco otm:

why are you sitting around making out with chicks while pondering the significance of personal non-events that occurred years earlier? shouldn't you be paying better attention? this question has been bothering me for three minutes tho less of a burning question than "omfg why is louis using the word 'courting'".

not meant as a dig, i like u and all but it's weirding me out,
xo
ally

― AllyzayEisenschefterBDawkinsFlyingSquirrelRomoCrying.jpg (allyzay), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 18:43 (eighteen years ago)

links?

― jhoshea (scoopsnoodle), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 18:54 (eighteen years ago)

Dear AllyzayEisenschefterBDawkinsFlyingSquirrelRomoCrying.jpg,

I wasn't "pondering," or anything -- we were just sitting in her dorm going through the usual pre-making-out flow of things, and I was thinking "great, we are both definitely prepping to make out," and then there was this brief realization: "Oh man, that's exactly what Julie did at her house that one time, I can't believe I didn't pick up on it." It wasn't until later that I actually thought back over the age-16/17 Julie incident and sat around laughing at all the obvious cues I'd missed.

(Also the Julie incident had always confused me, because she had taken me back to her house, and then we hung out for a while, and then suddenly she seemed really frustrated and angry and said "fine, I'll give you a ride back to town" -- I'd never understood why she was annoyed until I realized I was SO OBLIVIOUS to the invitations, and she was probably feeling really rejected.)

(Also she was like 27 or something and I was in high school, so possibly the "rejection" stung more? Though the age difference was half of why it never occurred to me that she'd be coming on to me. And if you're 27 and trying to get with high school boys, c'mon, make the first move.)

Best,
Nabisco

― nabisco otm (nabisco), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 19:23 (eighteen years ago)

P.S. The realization probably came before the making-out part, like maybe during the collegiate "sit next to me on the bed and look through this photo album with me" part. (I find that one touching -- it's like "here's a crash course of a whole bunch of stuff about me as a person before we make out.")

― nabisco otm (nabisco), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 19:30 (eighteen years ago)

OTM

― jambalaya backgammon (grady), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 19:33 (eighteen years ago)

he he

― am0n (am0n), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 19:34 (eighteen years ago)

like maybe during the collegiate "sit next to me on the bed and look through this photo album with me" part

This happened to me once when I was 22, at this friend's apartment. I had a total crush on her, but we'd been friends for several years, and it just seemed too weird to make a move, even if it was perfect in so many ways: we were sitting very close on her futon, her roommate was out of town, and she was the one who initiated the photo-album scenario (or was it a dictionary? "let's look up funny words" -- anyway). I still kick myself for not just saying "what the hell" and going through with it, especially since several months later she started dating someone to whom she's now married.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 19:37 (eighteen years ago)

you are the dictionary definition of TMI and i say this as a man who's talked about vomiting during sex on here

― acid waffle house (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 19:41 (eighteen years ago)

nabisco, you have to make your fuck-want clear from the beginning

― ‘•’u (gear), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 19:41 (eighteen years ago)

dear j-

how do you get rid of mice in your house?

love,

grady

― jambalaya backgammon (grady), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 19:42 (eighteen years ago)

Jess, are you talking about me or Nabisco?

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 19:43 (eighteen years ago)

i dont know

― acid waffle house (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 19:43 (eighteen years ago)

anyway i was just kidding

― acid waffle house (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 19:44 (eighteen years ago)

phew.xls

― m@p (plosive), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 19:44 (eighteen years ago)

"fuck-want" surely has a corresponding finnish idiom

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 19:52 (eighteen years ago)

Sometimes the pictures are a little scary, though. I remember this one girl showing me the framed pictures of her family in her room, and talking about them a little, in that nice intimacy-creating way, but then half an hour later I was faintly disturbed by this photo of her dad kinda ... looking over us.

Gear, I came across that "fuck-want" here before seeing the original come from Beales, so I spent the past fifteen minutes thinking you were REALLY GROSS as opposed to REALLY FUNNY.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 20:27 (eighteen years ago)

the truth is possibly somewhere in between, nabisco

― ‘•’u (gear), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 20:33 (eighteen years ago)

dude wtf

ps i think you should be more creepy

― AllyzayEisenschefterBDawkinsFlyingSquirrelRomoCrying.jpg (allyzay), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 20:42 (eighteen years ago)

And if you're 27 and trying to get with high school boys, c'mon, make the first move.

duh!!

― trans pacific donkey cell phone (sleep), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 20:57 (eighteen years ago)

It was a very small town, Ally. Also she was weird and liked my band.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 21:00 (eighteen years ago)

the collegiate "sit next to me on the bed and look through this photo album with me" part

haha

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 21:07 (eighteen years ago)

one time I was starting to go out with a guy and he made me sit with him to look through a photo album, half of which was photos of ex-gfs in various states of undress. WEEEEEEIIIIIIRDO.

― AllyzayEisenschefterBDawkinsFlyingSquirrelRomoCrying.jpg (allyzay), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 21:11 (eighteen years ago)

and the next page was pictures of all the mountain dews

― say it with blood diamonds (a_p), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 21:12 (eighteen years ago)

as soon as someone you are dating tries to make you look at a photo album, you run away

― cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 21:13 (eighteen years ago)

it it's just someone shy's excuse for sitting directly next to you on the couch, it's not that creepy. but movies are obv better.

― say it with blood diamonds (a_p), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 21:14 (eighteen years ago)

oh don't get me started on the "let's watch a dvd together" scenario, I once had someone put the moves on during AMERICAN PSYCHO.

― AllyzayEisenschefterBDawkinsFlyingSquirrelRomoCrying.jpg (allyzay), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 21:15 (eighteen years ago)

IT DEPENDS ON THE MOVIE, YOU APPARENTLY ONLY DATED CRAZIES

― say it with blood diamonds (a_p), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 21:16 (eighteen years ago)

she married one

― cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 21:17 (eighteen years ago)

APPARENTLY THAT IS MY "THING"

― AllyzayEisenschefterBDawkinsFlyingSquirrelRomoCrying.jpg (allyzay), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 21:17 (eighteen years ago)

Oh geez yeah, you're never seeing the end of all this date movies.

― Laurel (Laurel), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 21:17 (eighteen years ago)

I BLAME MY SHADY PAST

― AllyzayEisenschefterBDawkinsFlyingSquirrelRomoCrying.jpg (allyzay), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 21:17 (eighteen years ago)

I took a first date to see "The Fisher King" in college. In my defense, I thought it was going to be a romantic comedy. (I was similarly tricked by "When A Man Loves A Woman".)

― The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 21:18 (eighteen years ago)

I had three different boyfriends take me, semi-against-my-will, to the three different LOTR films. The middle one spent the entire film asking me if I wanted to fuck either Liv Tyler or the blonde girl. Every single time either was on screen!

― AllyzayEisenschefterBDawkinsFlyingSquirrelRomoCrying.jpg (allyzay), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 21:19 (eighteen years ago)

(that was the same dude with ex-gf panties photo album)

― AllyzayEisenschefterBDawkinsFlyingSquirrelRomoCrying.jpg (allyzay), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 21:20 (eighteen years ago)

Once went on a date with a woman who chose "Showgirls" on it's opening night.

AWKWARD.

― John Justen says Toonces was one of the most talented cats on televison (johnjus, Wednesday, 17 January 2007 21:21 (eighteen years ago)

OMG JOHN, BEST DATE EVER!

― The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 21:23 (eighteen years ago)

and the next page was pictures of all the mountain dews
-- say it with blood diamonds (a|e...), January 17th, 2007.

HA HA HA HA

― Mr. Que (Mr.Que), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 21:23 (eighteen years ago)

OK that reminds me of a hilarious story that has nothing to do with any of this. My friend L1berty's was visiting her family in Kentucky and her...not-that-swift it seems brother-in-law refused to go to whatever movie they had wanted to see, claiming it was "girly" or some such (forget what it was, something like, I dunno, Mona Lisa Smile or Crash or something or other) and then insisted on going to see BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, because, and I quote, "It's a cowboy film, that's a MAN'S film."

During the anal sex scene he apparently yelled "WHAT THE HELL KIND OF MOVIE HAVE YOU TAKEN ME TO"

― AllyzayEisenschefterBDawkinsFlyingSquirrelRomoCrying.jpg (allyzay), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 21:24 (eighteen years ago)

Skipping 149 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

P.S. Roxy I feel like something is wrong with the universe now that I have heard your speaking voice on YouTube.

Dear Nabisco, where is this video?

― Jordan, Wednesday, 20 February 2008 22:36 (seventeen years ago)

WDYLL thread

― nabisco, Wednesday, 20 February 2008 22:58 (seventeen years ago)

P.S. Roxy I feel like something is wrong with the universe now that I have heard your speaking voice on YouTube.

What do you mean?! Was my accent too Blount County for you to handle? u_u

― roxymuzak, Thursday, 21 February 2008 00:40 (seventeen years ago)

No! It was just strange to suddenly hear you talk. Maybe because I never hear ILXors voices without actually meeting them? I dunno, it was just strange.

Comparable strangeness: standing in New York at a show / barbeque on the Barnard campus and then turning around and there's RJG, standing there looking like RJG -- these things throw you for a loop, for a second!

― nabisco, Thursday, 21 February 2008 00:45 (seventeen years ago)

there was that WHAT DO YOU SOUND LIKE thread once upon a time.

― homosexual II, Thursday, 21 February 2008 02:53 (seventeen years ago)

Oh right! And Ian R-M had an English accent. And I felt bad for him, because that's the sort of thing I would have done when I was 15.

― nabisco, Thursday, 21 February 2008 19:27 (seventeen years ago)

Was that the thread where I called him Pip or did I show restraint that day?

― HI DERE, Thursday, 21 February 2008 19:29 (seventeen years ago)

jon tried to psychedelic-video chat me (my side didn't work) and it really threw me for a loop what his voice sounded like.

― jaxon, Thursday, 21 February 2008 22:05 (seventeen years ago)

Yeah. He sounds like a Yankee. Tripped us out too.

― Pleasant Plains, Thursday, 21 February 2008 22:09 (seventeen years ago)

hearing jon's posts in jon's actual voice is always good for a chuckle

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 21 February 2008 22:11 (seventeen years ago)

hearing dr morbius shout the chorus of "Gay Bar" is another thing that I will probably never forget

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 21 February 2008 22:11 (seventeen years ago)

I apologize in advance for this possible slur, but I read all of Morbius' posts in a Paul Lynde voice.

― Pleasant Plains, Thursday, 21 February 2008 22:16 (seventeen years ago)

You missed the Youtube video of me being racist and dancing to eurotrance huh?>

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Thursday, 21 February 2008 22:33 (seventeen years ago)

ha. you mean this one? http://youtube.com/watch?v=WdHB3fY1nVw

― jaxon, Thursday, 21 February 2008 22:52 (seventeen years ago)

lol

tehresa (1 week ago)
i can't believe you uploaded this.

― Pleasant Plains, Thursday, 21 February 2008 22:55 (seventeen years ago)

no, I'm not racist in that one!

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Thursday, 21 February 2008 22:55 (seventeen years ago)

I couldn't hear what was being said, but only "I hope the sound isn't turned on!"

― Pleasant Plains, Thursday, 21 February 2008 22:59 (seventeen years ago)

two years pass...

Is ‘knowingness’ a real word? Spell checker kinda freaking out on it, saying it doesn’t exist.

― Greatest contributor: (history mayne), Monday, 10 May 2010 16:38 (fifteen years ago)

i'm not nabisco, but i'm pretty sure it is

― horseshoe, Monday, 10 May 2010 23:52 (fifteen years ago)

three months pass...

dear nabisco, a friend of mine teaches at a local college and got a last minute assignment to a "critical thinking and popular culture" class. it is 2010, do you have any ideas for articles/books/etc he could include? maybe a case study on tv shows within tv shows?

― emotional radiohead whatever (Jordan), Wednesday, 25 August 2010 22:07 (fifteen years ago)

Maybe use this?
http://agrammar.tumblr.com/ask

― jaymc, Thursday, 26 August 2010 20:53 (fifteen years ago)

I only just noticed this, but I will think about it!

― oɔsıqɐu (nabisco), Saturday, 28 August 2010 00:13 (fifteen years ago)

four weeks pass...

Congrats are in order!

― jaymc, Monday, 27 September 2010 17:23 (fifteen years ago)

wow. awesome!

― dmr, Monday, 27 September 2010 17:34 (fifteen years ago)

hi 5s

― Muscus ex Craneo Humano (forksclovetofu), Monday, 27 September 2010 17:36 (fifteen years ago)

That's super cool & super deserved!

― Mormons come out of the sky and they stand there (Abbbottt), Monday, 27 September 2010 21:18 (fifteen years ago)

AMAZING! yaaaaaaaaaaay congrats!!!

― horseshoe, Monday, 27 September 2010 23:16 (fifteen years ago)

congrats nabisco! looking forward to reading lots more of you.

― ♫ Ba-sic space, o-pen air ♪ (sic), Monday, 27 September 2010 23:19 (fifteen years ago)

this doesnt mean the end of his pfork column does it? cos i likes reading that

― a hoy hoy, Monday, 27 September 2010 23:22 (fifteen years ago)

holy fuckbuckets! congrats!!

― If Airplanes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport (s1ocki), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 00:19 (fifteen years ago)

wowowww! :D

― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 00:40 (fifteen years ago)

good work, nitsuh!

― not everything is a campfire (ian), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 02:48 (fifteen years ago)

many many many congrats, well done, super happy for him :) :) <3

― i'm gonna be straight with y'all, my name is banaka jones (Z S), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 03:38 (fifteen years ago)

that's awesome. congrats, dude.

― jeff, Tuesday, 28 September 2010 07:34 (fifteen years ago)

three months pass...

just reread this via maxs recommend on gawker http://agrammar.tumblr.com/post/359990238/the-rules-of-the-game-a-fuller-thought-on-j-hopper and its sweet that nabisco is writing for nymag now and his reviews are typically brilliant but you know really he should be in the nytimes opinion section telling people what to think abt life - its not an unreasonable expectation

― ice cr?m, Saturday, 1 January 2011 17:42 (fourteen years ago)

come back to ilx, nabs -- we need you now more than ever!

― markers, Saturday, 1 January 2011 17:47 (fourteen years ago)

http://www.allanjosephbatac.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/princess-leia.jpg

― predeep natsvitika (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 1 January 2011 17:52 (fourteen years ago)

two years pass...

― ice cr?m, Saturday, January 1, 2011 12:42 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Strangely, I just read this piece because a friend posted it on facebook. Only after I finished the whole thing, nodding to myself the entire time how OTM* it was, did I realize it was from 2010, and only after that did I realize it was by Nabisco.

*OTM isn't even really an adequate term honestly, because it implies "this is shit I already thought but hadn't put into words this well" and I think this piece goes way beyond just stating well what I already thought.

― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 4 December 2013 19:50 (eleven years ago)

nabisco's point that the tumblrers whoops i mean "the game" players tend to use the people in their stories more as props than actual people strikes me as v right

― k3vin k., Wednesday, 4 December 2013 20:45 (eleven years ago)

If nabisco would be still active here, most other posters could shut up.

― Skatalite of Dub (James Redd and the Blecchs), Wednesday, 4 December 2013 20:57 (eleven years ago)

you're at least half right

― Strangers look on with a discernible, barely contained ‘wow’. (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 4 December 2013 21:03 (eleven years ago)

he posted today fyi, break out your commemorative otms

― lag∞n, Wednesday, 4 December 2013 21:05 (eleven years ago)

*scoops noodle*

― am0n, Wednesday, 4 December 2013 21:32 (eleven years ago)

^love that place

― From the Album No Baby for You! (Matt P), Wednesday, 4 December 2013 21:34 (eleven years ago)

so sad he keeps talking about The Game but never actually references the rapper

― mh, Wednesday, 4 December 2013 21:47 (eleven years ago)

but you know really he should be in the nytimes opinion section telling people what to think abt life - its not an unreasonable expectation

please god let this happen

― flopson, Wednesday, 4 December 2013 21:48 (eleven years ago)

You guys are gonna take life advice from a cookie?

― you are kind, I am (waterface), Wednesday, 4 December 2013 22:14 (eleven years ago)

i always liked that nabisco would have the dense intellectually rigorous multiple paragraph posts but would also bust out the zings and hardman styles as well. a complete artist.

― slam dunk, Thursday, 5 December 2013 02:31 (eleven years ago)

nabisco is not a cookie, you twit. nabisco is the national biscuit corporation, you fool, and is worth more than 20,000 of you put together (considering just the capital assets alone).

― Aimless, Thursday, 5 December 2013 03:03 (eleven years ago)

considering just the number of cookies

― lag∞n, Thursday, 5 December 2013 03:15 (eleven years ago)

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