A new ILX, a new compendium of our intreped hero Tuomas staring into the vast seas of mystery.

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1. "I'm sorry if I sound stupid, but I have no idea what "stylesheet" or what have you means...

Tuomas on Wednesday, February 21, 2007 1:54 PM (1 hour ago)"

― John Justen, Wednesday, 21 February 2007 21:02 (eighteen years ago)

that is already in the nu-roffles thread

― cutty, Wednesday, 21 February 2007 21:13 (eighteen years ago)

Tuomas deserves his own special thread.

― jessie monster, Wednesday, 21 February 2007 21:19 (eighteen years ago)

Ooops.

Well, I'm sure he'll throw some more our way soon enough. Either that or we can talk about Arby's some more.

― John Justen, Wednesday, 21 February 2007 21:19 (eighteen years ago)

NO XPOST NOTIFICATION IS TEH SUCK.

― John Justen, Wednesday, 21 February 2007 21:20 (eighteen years ago)

maybe we should mail some trucker speed to coder volunteers, for speedy implementation of usability.

― jessie monster, Wednesday, 21 February 2007 21:21 (eighteen years ago)

I've never understood the point of name changes. Makes things quite confusing.
Tuomas on Wednesday, February 21, 2007 4:32 PM (39 seconds ago)

― dmr, Wednesday, 21 February 2007 21:34 (eighteen years ago)

I used to think these threads were mean-spirited, but then the other day he asked what the Caps Lock key did.

Possibly he's engaged in a really subtle, high-level parody of the Lex?

― nabisco, Wednesday, 21 February 2007 23:11 (eighteen years ago)

he asked about CAPS LOCK??

― s1ocki, Wednesday, 21 February 2007 23:15 (eighteen years ago)

THE GIFT THAT KEPT ON GIVING

― John Justen, Wednesday, 21 February 2007 23:25 (eighteen years ago)

543532465426246265573254234
-- Tuomas (lixnixn@yahoo.co.uk), February 20th, 2007 6:07 PM.

― deej, Wednesday, 21 February 2007 23:38 (eighteen years ago)

Oh wait, I think the caps lock thing was the clever fake Tuonnas!

― nabisco, Wednesday, 21 February 2007 23:42 (eighteen years ago)

the post of all numbers cracked me up

― dmr, Thursday, 22 February 2007 00:08 (eighteen years ago)

Numlock - great when you have to type numbers!
ilx sandbox > ILE | ILM | ModReq | NOIZE
I Love Everything | New Answers | Unanswered Questions | Ask A Question Logout | Eisbär | Settings

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The translation I'm working on has long columns of numbers. I usually totally neglect NumLock, but it really is faster sometimes.
Discuss.

-- Maria :D (maria@wvvy.org), Yesterday 6:04 PM. (later)

Answers
is there really a lot to discuss here?
-- a mediocre black-and-white cookie in a cellophane wrapper (slytusk@gmail.com), Yesterday 6:06 PM. (later)

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What does it do actually? I've never used it.

-- Tuomas (lixnixn@yahoo.co.uk), Yesterday 6:06 PM. (later)

― Eisbaer, Thursday, 22 February 2007 02:50 (eighteen years ago)

I don't get it... How does it know which was the last post I read if I don't have to click anything?

Tuomas on Thursday, February 22, 2007 7:15 AM (52 minutes ago)

― max, Thursday, 22 February 2007 16:09 (eighteen years ago)

definitely a fake tuomas

― cutty, Thursday, 22 February 2007 16:42 (eighteen years ago)

LONG LIVE THE NEW FLESH

― David R., Thursday, 22 February 2007 16:43 (eighteen years ago)

Fake or real, it's all tuomedy gold to me.

― John Justen, Thursday, 22 February 2007 16:47 (eighteen years ago)

What are computer glasses?

(...)

Tuomas on Thursday, 22 February 2007 10:39 (8 hours ago)

― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 22 February 2007 19:00 (eighteen years ago)

"Kegel muscles"?

Tuomas (Tuomas) on Friday, 25 February 2005 08:42 (1 year ago)

― John Justen, Saturday, 24 February 2007 15:44 (eighteen years ago)

European faggot / 2007-02-20 15:10:23 Oh la la Anna Nicole Smith dying is so sad, let's go discuss socialism over a baggette and some tea

― JW, Monday, 26 February 2007 07:46 (eighteen years ago)

o_0

"Some time ago someone I used to have casual sex with informed me, in bed, that my, er, 'lingam' was actually too big for her 'yoni'. Yes, those were her exact words. You can imagine that this was a turn-off in more than one way. We haven't had sex ever since,"

― David R., Monday, 26 February 2007 21:38 (eighteen years ago)

Wasn't the new code supposed to protect ILX from people hacking into it?

Tuomas on Wednesday, February 28, 2007 3:16 AM (4 hours ago)

― sanskrit, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 12:50 (eighteen years ago)

i am the lindbergh baby

u saved me (dubplatestyle) on Thursday, December 22, 2005 12:27 PM (1 year ago)
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What's that?

Tuomas (Tuomas) on Thursday, December 22, 2005 12:27 PM (1 year ago)

― John Justen, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 20:31 (eighteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

Just in case anyone missed this one

― John Justen, Monday, 19 March 2007 14:36 (eighteen years ago)

worst yet

― strongohulkington, Monday, 19 March 2007 14:39 (eighteen years ago)

aka best yet

― Edward III, Monday, 19 March 2007 14:54 (eighteen years ago)

dan bunnybrain / tuomas exchange yay

― Edward III, Monday, 19 March 2007 14:55 (eighteen years ago)

Someone should write a "TUOMAS Your Own Adventure."

You are faced with a howling Yeti. To your left is a steep cliff face, and to your right is a river of molten lava. Wolves are circling behind you.

DO YOU:
show it a naked picture of yourself (p. 27)
ask it what a "Sanford and Son" is (p.34)
masturbate in front of a baby (p.12)

― John Justen, Monday, 19 March 2007 15:30 (eighteen years ago)

A cruel thrust.

― Pashmina, Monday, 19 March 2007 15:34 (eighteen years ago)

intentional misunderstanding on the internet.

― and what, Monday, 19 March 2007 16:36 (eighteen years ago)

tuomas approach is like ju-jitsu where you use your opponent's own strength against him, except in this case the opponent is drunk on the couch.

― Edward III, Monday, 19 March 2007 16:41 (eighteen years ago)

tuomas =

http://www.saao.ac.za/~wpk/gallery/signs/duh.gif

― scott seward, Monday, 19 March 2007 16:56 (eighteen years ago)

haha x2

― rrrobyn, Monday, 19 March 2007 16:58 (eighteen years ago)

reginald van difficult, esq.

― Edward III, Monday, 19 March 2007 17:00 (eighteen years ago)

So Wrinklepaws is a person? Where does the "oh" part come from?

Tuomas (Tuomas) on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 5:09 AM (10 months ago)

― Curt1s Stephens, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 02:06 (eighteen years ago)

Actually, I don't think retards themselves are considered funny (anymore), rather than non-retards acting in a retarded way, but also assuming their audience know they aren't really so. So it's the element of surprise and incoherence which is part of it's supposed funniness. Then again, this has become so popular that there's hardly any surprise in it anymore.

Tuomas on Monday, March 19, 2007 9:02 AM (12 hours ago)

― latebloomer, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 02:58 (eighteen years ago)

Just one defense: I don't think you can blame a Finnish person for not knowing what The Lindbergh Baby referred to.

You can blame him for not using Google though.

― Hurting 2, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 03:00 (eighteen years ago)

if people don't know what the lindbergh baby is how we can prevent future lindbergh babies. ignorance is not an excuse. silence equals death. never forget.

― s1ocki, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 03:35 (eighteen years ago)

Tuomas, one day there will be a university course on said matter and you will have that long desired climatic eureka experience akin to Ron Jeremy popping on Jenna Jameson.

Something like that.

-- nathalie on Monday, 19 March 2007 13:55 (23 hours ago)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

― HI DERE, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 13:42 (eighteen years ago)

What about that weird bulge in guys' throats?

Tuomas (Tuomas) on Monday, August 4, 2003 4:38 AM (3 years ago)

― Pleasant Plains, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 21:47 (eighteen years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v655/lixnixn/week.jpg

― g®▲Ðұ, Friday, 23 March 2007 19:20 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.ilxor.com:8080/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?boardid=40&threadid=52918#unread

― Curt1s Stephens, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:44 (eighteen years ago)

cabbage patch heads

― iiiijjjj, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 23:46 (eighteen years ago)

plz change nu-code so that all Tuomas posts are accompanied w/ Tuomas self-portrait/emoticon.

― g®▲Ðұ, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 00:53 (eighteen years ago)

haha, i would love to be able to assign avatars to ppl

― elmo argonaut, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 04:02 (eighteen years ago)

Not exactly right for this thread, but still worth noting:

From "if you and your mother were both offered a million quid to have consensual, protected sex with each other, and she has already agreed, would you do it?"

C'mon, a million quid!

Tuomas on Wednesday, 28 March 2007 09:29 (Yesterday)

― C0L1N B..., Thursday, 29 March 2007 18:04 (eighteen years ago)

what sort of billionaire voyeur pervert would make such an indecent proposal? yikes

― elmo argonaut, Thursday, 29 March 2007 18:12 (eighteen years ago)

ILX

― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 29 March 2007 21:46 (eighteen years ago)

3) Fanny farts are okay.

Tuomas (Tuomas) on Wednesday, 17 January 2007 13:18 (2 months ago)

― rio natsume, Friday, 30 March 2007 01:26 (eighteen years ago)

Skipping 339 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

'The Wire', wtf is that anyway?

― the pinefox, Monday, March 10, 2008 8:19 AM (8 months ago)

― craig sager (eman), Wednesday, 26 November 2008 03:27 (seventeen years ago)

pinefox is tuomas' wingman in bewilderment

― she should look better if she's gonna be a bitch like that (sunny successor), Wednesday, 26 November 2008 13:30 (seventeen years ago)

select baffling text > right click > Search Google for "baffling text"
Come on guys, it's not hard!

― snoball, Wednesday, 26 November 2008 13:36 (seventeen years ago)

What is "Ned" short for?

― ♪☺♫☻ (gr8080), Friday, 28 November 2008 11:59 (sixteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

Seriously, what is a douchebag? I always thought douches were sprays. I have no first-hand (or even second) experience with douches, but the expression baffles me.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Thursday, April 8, 2004 10:13 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

― the talented mr shipley (and what), Saturday, 13 December 2008 19:43 (sixteen years ago)

I don't know who Black Francis is, but Mark E. Smith is the worst vocalist I've ever heard in my life, so I assume this other guy must be better.

― Tuomas, Monday, December 15, 2008 5:08 PM (29 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

― Mr. Que, Monday, 15 December 2008 17:10 (sixteen years ago)

HE SURE HATES "ROCK."

― s1ocki, Monday, 15 December 2008 17:10 (sixteen years ago)

I do like some good rock singers, but Mark Smith sounds like a drunkard mumbling to himself.

― Tuomas, Tuesday, 16 December 2008 14:04 (sixteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

What's "reverse cowgirl"?

― Tuomas, Thursday, March 15, 2007 3:25 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

― some dude, Saturday, 3 January 2009 05:12 (sixteen years ago)

youtube links as poll options

― (*ﾟーﾟ)θ L(。･＿･)　　　°~ヾ(･ε･ *) (Steve Shasta), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 18:35 (sixteen years ago)

Ha, I am pretty sure I learned the phrase "reverse cowgirl" from Matos on an ILX thread from like 2003.

― xhuxk e. xheese (jaymc), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 19:32 (sixteen years ago)

heartwarming

― s1ocki, Wednesday, 7 January 2009 20:17 (sixteen years ago)

i can see jaymc carefully thinking "better make it clear it was 'on an ilx thread'" while writing that post

― opinions4usic (deej), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 20:21 (sixteen years ago)

lol

― xhuxk e. xheese (jaymc), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 20:22 (sixteen years ago)

as opposed to "on his lap"

― s1ocki, Wednesday, 7 January 2009 20:28 (sixteen years ago)

one month passes...

excellent shits that i have taken

― John Hyman (misspelled intentionally) (omar little), Tuesday, 10 February 2009 21:40 (sixteen years ago)

okay wtf

― horseshoe, Tuesday, 10 February 2009 21:42 (sixteen years ago)

you mean wts

― •--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 10 February 2009 21:58 (sixteen years ago)

whoa

― I shall always respect my elders (Z S), Tuesday, 10 February 2009 22:03 (sixteen years ago)

I guess he was joking (?)

― I shall always respect my elders (Z S), Tuesday, 10 February 2009 22:04 (sixteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

miss u boo

― ☻ (The Reverend), Friday, 27 February 2009 03:44 (sixteen years ago)

if i read this thread it might get a little dusty

― He grew in Pussyville. Population: him. (call all destroyer), Friday, 27 February 2009 03:46 (sixteen years ago)

...misty, perhaps?

― its gotta be HOOSy para steen (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Friday, 27 February 2009 04:03 (sixteen years ago)

yeah dusty is for when you want to pretend it's not getting misty

― He grew in Pussyville. Population: him. (call all destroyer), Friday, 27 February 2009 04:19 (sixteen years ago)

going on record as saying he should come back with a new username and a totally new schtick.

― Fight scenes don't hold a candle to Asian action (forksclovetofu), Friday, 27 February 2009 04:49 (sixteen years ago)

ill be missing u

― the powerful claw (J0rdan S.), Friday, 27 February 2009 04:50 (sixteen years ago)

he's already re-reg'd as 'kunal garg' with an indian IP (must be a proxy)

― w/ sax (electricsound), Friday, 27 February 2009 04:52 (sixteen years ago)

going on record as saying he should come back with a new username and a totally new schtick

wait for n/l tuomas dropping nabisco-style science on y'all

― velko, Friday, 27 February 2009 04:53 (sixteen years ago)

http://oolongiv.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/2010pic2.gif

Tuomas, 0229 GMT Friday morning.

― •--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 27 February 2009 05:07 (sixteen years ago)

lol

― abominable spirit (latebloomer), Friday, 27 February 2009 05:24 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.the-mathom-house.com/images/Gandalf_the_white_in_Fangorn.jpg

― Helsinki Is Other People (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 February 2009 08:42 (sixteen years ago)

― cool like a bass (latebloomer), Friday, 27 February 2009 11:53 (sixteen years ago)

six months pass...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v655/lixnixn/demo.jpg

"Are those..miniature people?"

― OTM Level III (latebloomer), Monday, 7 September 2009 15:48 (sixteen years ago)

;-)

― OTM Level III (latebloomer), Monday, 7 September 2009 15:48 (sixteen years ago)

one year passes...

thought Simmons was British?

― Tuomas, Tuesday, 5 October 2010 12:52 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

― Ward Fowler, Tuesday, 5 October 2010 15:54 (fifteen years ago)

two months pass...

What does TS mean? Or OTM?
― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, February 13, 2004 7:41 AM (6 years ago)
Sorry, the second one was answered in the original post. But what's TS?
― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, February 13, 2004 7:42 AM (6 years ago)
tough shit?
― Ste (Fuzzy), Friday, February 13, 2004 7:43 AM (6 years ago)
Tough Shit? When are you supposed to use it then?
― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, February 13, 2004 7:44 AM (6 years ago)
"Taking Sides".
― Sarah (starry), Friday, February 13, 2004 7:44 AM (6 years ago)
Ah!
― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, February 13, 2004 7:45 AM (6 years ago)
Sorry, "Titty Soap".
― Sarah (starry), Friday, February 13, 2004 7:45 AM (6 years ago)
I'd buy that for a dollar!
― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, February 13, 2004 7:47 AM (6 years ago)

― lonely is as lonely does, lonely is an eeyore (unregistered), Thursday, 16 December 2010 08:14 (fourteen years ago)

one month passes...

Bah, I give up! This thread is more confusing than enlightening, removing the bookmark.

― Tuomas, Tuesday, January 25, 2011 5:35 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

― gr8080, Tuesday, 25 January 2011 15:38 (fourteen years ago)

one month passes...

http://blog.cleveland.com/metro/2011/03/identifying_photocopy_machine.html

Marburger: During your tenure in the computer department at the Recorder's office, has the Recorder's office had photocopying machines?
Cavanagh: Objection.
Marburger: Any photocopying machine?
Patterson: When you say "photocopying machine," what do you mean?
Marburger: Let me be -- let me make sure I understand your question. You don't have an understanding of what a photocopying machine is?
Patterson: No. I want to make sure that I answer your question correctly.
Cavanagh: Dave, I'll object to the tone of the question. You make it sound like it's unbelievable to you that he wouldn't know what the definition of a photocopy machine is.
Marburger: I didn't ask him to define it. I asked him if he had any.
Patterson: When you say "photocopying machine," what do you mean?

― administratieve blunder (unregistered), Saturday, 19 March 2011 00:37 (fourteen years ago)

Marburger: If you feel stupid, it's not because I'm making you feel that way. !!

― ledge, Saturday, 19 March 2011 09:47 (fourteen years ago)

three weeks pass...

At first I thought I'd never heard Pearl Jam, but then I remembered you couldn't really escape "Jamie Had a Gun" (or whatever that song was called) back in the early 90s.

― Tuomas, Monday, April 11, 2011 11:37 AM Bookmark

― banjee trillness (The Reverend), Monday, 11 April 2011 19:26 (fourteen years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxL1qB8TI5c

― free karl kani (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 11 April 2011 19:43 (fourteen years ago)

a+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

― scott seward, Monday, 11 April 2011 22:34 (fourteen years ago)

L
M
A
O

― Oink Administrator (gr8080), Tuesday, 12 April 2011 00:13 (fourteen years ago)

one month passes...

http://www.suburbanapologist.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Animals-Will-Be-Stoned-Album-Cover.jpg
― Johnny Fever, Wednesday, May 11, 2011 9:14 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Yeah, that one doesn't beat the Alex Moulton cover by Boris Vallejo, even though it's okay.

One particular thing that makes this "Justice of the Unicorns" cover inferior is that the eagleman has a weird lower body! Based on the upper body you'd expect him to have human legs too, but then they should be shown in the picture, and they aren't. Of course he could have eagle legs instead, but even those should be visible in the pic! Unless Vallejo got some kind of an unexpected biological insight, and realized that even a mutant eagleman should be a tetrapod, and therefore the "legs" are actually his hands (while the wings are his "true" hands). But that would be kinda weird too! It looks more like he just didn't bother to figure out the lower body, so he just decided to cover it with an "artistic" blur.

― Tuomas, Wednesday, May 11, 2011 10:36 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

― gr8080, Thursday, 12 May 2011 21:09 (fourteen years ago)

tuomas otm

― "I like to wear tops that show my cleavage and show off my ladies," (sic), Thursday, 12 May 2011 22:05 (fourteen years ago)

i currently dont know what numlock does

― flopson, Thursday, 12 May 2011 22:21 (fourteen years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyPgb1WkDSA

― jaxon, Friday, 13 May 2011 01:20 (fourteen years ago)

^ do you know them?

― jaxon, Friday, 13 May 2011 01:23 (fourteen years ago)

three months pass...

So Google+ is some kind of a Facebook type of thing? I remember seeing it mentioned on ILX, but I thought it was just an advanced version of Google search.

― Tuomas, Tuesday, September 6, 2011 4:03 AM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark

― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 6 September 2011 08:17 (fourteen years ago)

two years pass...

Oh come on! Even I know Nona Hendryx is a brunette.

― Tuomas, Wednesday, May 15, 2013 4:26 AM (7 months ago)

― The Glam Of That All The Way From Memphis Man! (James Redd and the Blecchs), Tuesday, 24 December 2013 02:23 (eleven years ago)

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