550 THINGS YOU DID NOT KNOW ABOUT DR MORBIUS

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1. attended several seminal DNA performances

― sanskrit, Thursday, 10 May 2007 23:46 (nineteen years ago)

2. noted cineaste

― sanskrit, Thursday, 10 May 2007 23:46 (nineteen years ago)

3. likes the Mets

― sanskrit, Thursday, 10 May 2007 23:46 (nineteen years ago)

4. secretly loves the Yankees

― sanskrit, Thursday, 10 May 2007 23:46 (nineteen years ago)

5. hates Metropolitan Diary, but wishes he could be featured in it

― sanskrit, Thursday, 10 May 2007 23:46 (nineteen years ago)

6. has a flipper shirt.

― tehresa, Thursday, 10 May 2007 23:55 (nineteen years ago)

7. introduced hstencil to indie rock, taught him all he knows

― sanskrit, Friday, 11 May 2007 00:02 (nineteen years ago)

8. homebrews his own Tab

― sanskrit, Friday, 11 May 2007 00:02 (nineteen years ago)

9. spawns internet clones regularly

― g®▲Ðұ, Friday, 11 May 2007 00:11 (nineteen years ago)

10. has wfmu boxer shorts :-O

― Steve Shasta, Friday, 11 May 2007 00:12 (nineteen years ago)

11. related to wrinklepaws by marriage

― brownie, Friday, 11 May 2007 00:14 (nineteen years ago)

12. prone to chronic butthurt

― jhøshea, Friday, 11 May 2007 00:16 (nineteen years ago)

13. suckerpunched Abbas Kiarostami

― sanskrit, Friday, 11 May 2007 01:57 (nineteen years ago)

13. bought oregano because peter greenaway told him it was 'dank'

― remy bean, Friday, 11 May 2007 02:03 (nineteen years ago)

14. secretly tarantino's neglected kid stepbrother

― latebloomer, Friday, 11 May 2007 02:10 (nineteen years ago)

15. lost his virginity to Rusty Staub

― gershy, Friday, 11 May 2007 03:18 (nineteen years ago)

16. is a noise godfather.

― tehresa, Friday, 11 May 2007 03:42 (nineteen years ago)

17. loved the godfather

― jhøshea, Friday, 11 May 2007 04:10 (nineteen years ago)

woah did 13 rly happen?

― Stormy Davis, Friday, 11 May 2007 05:41 (nineteen years ago)

(sanskrit's 13)

― Stormy Davis, Friday, 11 May 2007 05:41 (nineteen years ago)

15. lost his virginity to Rusty Staub

lol I thought this said Mr. Snrub

― Curt1s Stephens, Friday, 11 May 2007 08:05 (nineteen years ago)

18. was on the grassy knoll in '63.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 11 May 2007 08:07 (nineteen years ago)

woah did 13 rly happen?

-- Stormy Davis, Friday, May 11, 2007 1:41 AM (6 hours ago)

Kiarostami still not allowed back in the US because of the "altercation", Bill banned from NYFF for life.

― sanskrit, Friday, 11 May 2007 12:04 (nineteen years ago)

19. is deeznuts.

― ghost rider, Friday, 11 May 2007 12:37 (nineteen years ago)

20. while everyone knows he took his internet pseudonym from Forbidden Planet, not many people realize that he took his internet persona from lost in space's dr. smith.

― ghost rider, Friday, 11 May 2007 12:54 (nineteen years ago)

21. secret shame: never actually seen M*A*S*H

― ghost rider, Friday, 11 May 2007 12:54 (nineteen years ago)

22. lost his virginity to Mr. Snrub

― jhøshea, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:10 (nineteen years ago)

23. Instrumental in getting Hot Action Cop signed to a record deal

― Dom Passantino, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:11 (nineteen years ago)

24. is actually one of many ilx-related psuedonyms used by noted new york times pop critic kelefa sanneh

― strongohulkington, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:12 (nineteen years ago)

25. sells bootleg t-shirts through cafe press featuring unused jbr psudeonyms

― strongohulkington, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:14 (nineteen years ago)

26. father was the voice of popular animation character "droopy dog"

― strongohulkington, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:14 (nineteen years ago)

27. uses crest white strips no less than four times per day

― strongohulkington, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:17 (nineteen years ago)

28. sonned by roger ebert in a buffet line beef, sundance '96

― strongohulkington, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:17 (nineteen years ago)

29. once kicked the ass of joey greco in an episode of cheaters that never aired.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:22 (nineteen years ago)

30. original voice of monterey "monty" jack on tv's chip 'n dale rescue rangers

― ghost rider, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:23 (nineteen years ago)

31. failed mp3 blogger

― strongohulkington, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:29 (nineteen years ago)

Keep building the myth!

(tho I'm not bottomish enough for 12 or 20. Also, DNA just once)

― Dr Morbius, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:29 (nineteen years ago)

32. studied semi-professional fighting for several years as a pre-teen under the tutelage of neighbor jack palance

― strongohulkington, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:30 (nineteen years ago)

33. Wrote scripts for Mork & Mindy

― Mr. Que, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:50 (nineteen years ago)

34. owns snoopy snow cone machine in mint condition original box. only takes it out after midnight on his birthday and weeps a little. uses tears as snow cone foundation.

― strongohulkington, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

That sounds like more fun than what I did after midnight on my birthday.

― Dr Morbius, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:59 (nineteen years ago)

35. briefly worked as a cut-man for floyd patterson in the early 60s, including the second patterson/ingemar johansson fight.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 11 May 2007 14:04 (nineteen years ago)

36. once made wade boggs cry merely with a withering stare.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 11 May 2007 14:09 (nineteen years ago)

37. LOVES DISNEYLAND

― Edward III, Friday, 11 May 2007 16:07 (nineteen years ago)

oh man the snoopy snow cone

― cutty, Friday, 11 May 2007 16:13 (nineteen years ago)

Remy's 13 cracked me up.

― admrl, Friday, 11 May 2007 16:15 (nineteen years ago)

38. walked away from a lucrative modeling career to devote himself to science.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 11 May 2007 16:23 (nineteen years ago)

39. Faux-mosexual ploy to bed (many) women.

― Steve Shasta, Friday, 11 May 2007 17:03 (nineteen years ago)

40. Lost his daughter to band of Vietnamese river pirates in crooked poker game

― strongohulkington, Friday, 11 May 2007 17:34 (nineteen years ago)

41. is actually world reknowned poker player and easily could've turned the crooked game but didn't really care for his daughter that much.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 11 May 2007 17:43 (nineteen years ago)

Skipping 128 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

154. Pronounces the word "better" as "BETTAH"

― n/a, Monday, 29 October 2007 17:59 (eighteen years ago)

155. rode Dust Commander to victory in 1970 kentucky derby.

― chicago kevin, Monday, 29 October 2007 19:09 (eighteen years ago)

156. inseminated several performance attendees with DNA

― Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 29 October 2007 22:10 (eighteen years ago)

157. Was the dude in the Bigfoot suit

― latebloomer, Monday, 29 October 2007 22:19 (eighteen years ago)

158. ghost wrote that "this is ooooouuuuuur country" piece of shit for johnny cougar.

― chicago kevin, Monday, 29 October 2007 23:23 (eighteen years ago)

159. put the 'mellencamp' in ^^^

― remy bean, Monday, 29 October 2007 23:37 (eighteen years ago)

160. repeatedly, and with deliberate malice, stole the cookies from the cookie jar. when confronted replied 'who, me? couldn't be.'

― remy bean, Monday, 29 October 2007 23:39 (eighteen years ago)

161. skilled knife fighter.

― haitch, Monday, 29 October 2007 23:40 (eighteen years ago)

162. regular at weekly poker game in early 80s w/ halston, andy, bianca, liza and "victor hugo"

― m coleman, Tuesday, 30 October 2007 11:58 (eighteen years ago)

163. is the real Donnie Darko.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Tuesday, 30 October 2007 15:09 (eighteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

164. douchebag

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Friday, 16 November 2007 14:21 (eighteen years ago)

165. Set up the internet's first Thirtysomething fan fiction site, back in April 1996.

― Dom Passantino, Friday, 16 November 2007 14:26 (eighteen years ago)

I think everyone knew #164, eunuch.

― Dr Morbius, Friday, 16 November 2007 15:03 (eighteen years ago)

nine months pass...

I did standup comedy (halfheartedly) for about 3 years, and naturalism be damned, I knew several comics VERY much like Rupert Pupkin.

Tho Raging Bull is brilliantly made, I sure can't identify w/ LaMotta. He is a fuckin' animal.

-- Dr Morbius, Thursday, August 21, 2008 9:26 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

― and what, Thursday, 21 August 2008 13:32 (eighteen years ago)

!!!

― and what, Thursday, 21 August 2008 13:32 (eighteen years ago)

woah

― M@tt He1ges0n, Thursday, 21 August 2008 15:37 (eighteen years ago)

study up

― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 21 August 2008 15:39 (eighteen years ago)

Were you an insult comic, a prop comedian, or one of those "Hey you ever notice" guys?

― Pleasant Plains, Thursday, 21 August 2008 15:57 (eighteen years ago)

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 21 August 2008 16:10 (eighteen years ago)

4 minutes of material, 6 minutes of KOing chickenshit hillbilly hecklers

― some dude, Thursday, 21 August 2008 16:11 (eighteen years ago)

I was a "hey, which of you drunken tourist fucks would like to walk me to the Port Authority after the show" guy.

xp!

― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 21 August 2008 16:11 (eighteen years ago)

http://photos13.flickr.com/14739394_83bf342649.jpg

― am0n, Thursday, 21 August 2008 16:39 (eighteen years ago)

i have total respect for morbs not only doing standup, but admitting it.

― s1ocki, Thursday, 21 August 2008 21:19 (eighteen years ago)

the dong show

― jeff, Thursday, 21 August 2008 21:52 (eighteen years ago)

was your stage name Dr. Morbius?

― jeff, Thursday, 21 August 2008 21:52 (eighteen years ago)

i have total respect for morbs not only quitting standup, but becoming a doctor.

― am0n, Friday, 22 August 2008 00:50 (eighteen years ago)

hes not a medical doctor

― max, Friday, 22 August 2008 00:53 (eighteen years ago)

167. has promo photographs from said standup career which he refuses to share with ilx brethren

― Edward III, Friday, 22 August 2008 05:30 (eighteen years ago)

168. claims ignorance of modern scanning device technology

― Edward III, Friday, 22 August 2008 05:30 (eighteen years ago)

direct him to a public library

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Friday, 22 August 2008 05:55 (eighteen years ago)

haha, I have no idea who EdwIII is now, or if he learned this secondhand.

no way I am gonna let you suckers see that glossy

― Dr Morbius, Friday, 22 August 2008 13:32 (eighteen years ago)

we're begging

― roxymuzak, Friday, 22 August 2008 15:21 (eighteen years ago)

http://blogs.sfweekly.com/thesnitch/Fozzie.jpg

― Dr Morbius, Friday, 22 August 2008 15:32 (eighteen years ago)

morbs perhaps my former (yay) boss could represent you?

― tehresa, Friday, 22 August 2008 23:35 (eighteen years ago)

169. invented the aristocrats joke

― latebloomer, Saturday, 23 August 2008 01:52 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.shoutlife.com/profiles/5/2/8/7/4/47825/primary.jpg

― omar little, Saturday, 23 August 2008 01:59 (eighteen years ago)

if someone convinces dr. morbius to scan his stand-up glossies, i will post a picture of myself in leather.

-- strgn, Friday, August 22, 2008 10:57 PM (Friday, August 22, 2008 10:57 PM) Bookmark Link

If Morbs scans his stand up, I will post a pic of myself in strgn.

-- Eric H., Friday, August 22, 2008 11:00 PM (Friday, August 22, 2008 11:00 PM) Bookmark Link

THE PEOPLE DEMAND MORBIUS STANDUP PICS

― tehresa, Saturday, 23 August 2008 03:04 (eighteen years ago)

those promises may actually be deterrents.

― strgn, Saturday, 23 August 2008 03:07 (eighteen years ago)

that thought did cross my mind but i decided to go for it anyway

― tehresa, Saturday, 23 August 2008 03:08 (eighteen years ago)

what strgn said

― Dr Morbius, Saturday, 23 August 2008 16:05 (eighteen years ago)

wait, strgn = strongohlk = jess?
or i'm lost here?
who is who?

― sanskrit, Monday, 1 September 2008 02:35 (eighteen years ago)

no, strgn is some fag who wanted to know if I had a tight hole.

Where haver you been, skrit?

― Dr Morbius, Monday, 1 September 2008 14:07 (eighteen years ago)

Now you got something to do on Labor Day, Morbs.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Monday, 1 September 2008 16:58 (eighteen years ago)

170. fronted a hardcore band from '82-'85

― latebloomer, Monday, 1 September 2008 21:09 (eighteen years ago)

three months pass...

171. learned today what "right click" means (never even wondered what other part of the mouse was for!)

― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 18 December 2008 19:48 (seventeen years ago)

one month passes...

172. this is his first post from HOME

― Dr Morbius, Saturday, 14 February 2009 03:43 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.case-jc.demon.co.uk/images/Congrats.gif

― velko, Saturday, 14 February 2009 03:50 (seventeen years ago)

seven years pass...

I am not voting for Jill Stein for president again, hell with that; iatee knows zip

might write in Sanders, Roseanne or Eugene Debs

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 14 May 2016 02:00 (ten years ago)

jake arrieta tho

― mookieproof, Saturday, 14 May 2016 02:16 (ten years ago)

too rich

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 14 May 2016 07:57 (ten years ago)

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