this is from the dusted review of clockcleaner's "nevermind." kinda old but funny
# Bought up every AmRep release (and laughed at that guy who gets shot in Dope Guns & Fucking Up Your Video Deck on VHS), then sold them to buy needle drugs. Alternately, purchased and lost an AmRep Zippo lighter.
# Are way into GG Allin and/or AntiSeen (saw GG in concert, own more than 10 bootlegs, got autographs from Merle, saw a GG-less Jabbers, etc).
# Drink off-brand liquor out of nonbreakable plastic bottles, and not in an ironic, Chuck Klosterman-esque way.
# Own the entire Big Chief discography, including all variants of colored vinyl and picture discs. Wrote fan mail to Motorbooty with story ideas they could use for free.
# Own the “Faces of Death” box set, Blackest Heart video titles, pre-legal Traci Lords footage, and other “sick shit” which you foist on people who visit your home, or take with you in the hopes that whatever friends you’re hanging out with will want to drop everything to watch TV.
# Saw the Laughing Hyenas on the “Hard Times” tour and bought a t-shirt.
# Got the logo for any semi-obscure rock band with indie roots (other than Rocket from the Crypt or Pantera) that formed between 1989 and 1996 tattooed on your person, even if you got it covered with something else.
# Paid over $20 for a Tad record on the guise that “it was a collector’s item” and/or you “needed it.”
# Eat LSD before important events involving work and/or family to “get in the zone.”
# Quit your job (told the boss stand aside) and/or got “sick of this motherfuckin’ goddamn shit.” Alternately, know from which band and song these sentiments arose from, and are at any time moments away from putting them into action.
# Got a Derek Hess poster framed and hanging in your room.
# Consume White Castle, KFC, Church’s, Rally’s or Domino’s Pizza as a meal more than once a week. Alternately, have an excess of Taco Bell “fire sauce” packets at home, and use them as a condiment on competing brands of fast food.
# Believe that the lowest grade of pot your dealer offers is just fine. Better yet, your guy doesn’t even have grades. You smoke the seeds, stems, leaves, etc.
# Have considered armed robbery just for shits and giggles.
# Leave old back issues of Chunklet (back when Henry Owings was reprinting shit he found on the Internet) moldering in your bathroom, which hasn’t been cleaned since you moved in.
# Do not have an email account; haven’t been online since your WebTV broke and therefore can’t kick my ass for writing this.
― BLASTOCYST, Sunday, 18 November 2007 18:46 (seventeen years ago)
"Bought up every AmRep release (and laughed at that guy who gets shot in Dope Guns & Fucking Up Your Video Deck on VHS), then sold them to buy needle drugs."
this is someone way older than clockcleaner though, isn't it? what do i know. maybe they are really old.
anyway, i didn't laugh. maybe in 1989 i would have. i doubt it though.
it kinda sounds like they are describing several different people.
― scott seward, Monday, 19 November 2007 01:21 (seventeen years ago)