the blank stares I get when trying to explain this to my beyonce reminds me of what the founders of google must have gotten when they explained their ideas
― Z S, Sunday, 22 August 2010 16:18 (fourteen years ago) link
If it includes replacement heads to clean your grill, toilet, cat, and kitchen floor, I'd easily buy a dozen of those, xxpost.
― nonviolent j (unregistered), Sunday, 22 August 2010 16:19 (fourteen years ago) link
a nudie pin-up calendar to sell as a fundraiser for Safe Streets based on the warning on the back of meterperson cars "Battery on a Parking Control Officer is a criminal offence"
the calendar would feature parking control officers naked with various batteries covering the porno bits
― sarahel, Friday, 10 September 2010 06:50 (fourteen years ago) link
'Jim'll fsck It' - a TV show starring Sir Jimmy Saville OBE, where he goes to a different server farm every week and runs fsck on a server.
― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Friday, 10 September 2010 13:40 (fourteen years ago) link
Similar to a terrible idea I had once for a black version of the show called Jamahl'll Fix It
― village idiot (dog latin), Friday, 10 September 2010 14:29 (fourteen years ago) link
Quo-O-Meter - a plank of wood marked off with a graduated scale. You stand on it with your feet apart and read off the scale how rockin' all over the world you are. Feet almost together would be "Marguerita Time", feet far apart would be "Caroline" or something.
― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Sunday, 12 September 2010 21:07 (fourteen years ago) link
lolin at Jim'll fsck it
― waka flocka flame for all time (dayo), Sunday, 12 September 2010 23:36 (fourteen years ago) link
I thought that after Saville runs fsck, he could go "ahahaurahuauharuaahah" while waving a cigar (unlit of course). Or "How's about that they, boys and girls!". Then they could play the theme song at the end, with the lyrics amended to "Now he's done it. Jim has fsck'ed it for you!" etc.It was the best - meaning least terrible - out of a number of celebrity themed ideas which also included "Paul Daniels' root Password Reminder Show" and "Jimmy Tarbuck Goes To The Big Laser Printer At The End Of The Hall, Takes Out The Toner Cartridge, Shakes It About A Bit, And Then Puts It Back In Programme".
― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Monday, 13 September 2010 08:13 (fourteen years ago) link
Pitchforke Reviewes Reviewes - a blog reviewing pitchfork reviews in Chaucerian english
― sarahel, Wednesday, 15 September 2010 22:35 (fourteen years ago) link
could definitely work
― Chinedu "Edu" Obasi Ogbuke (nakhchivan), Wednesday, 15 September 2010 22:37 (fourteen years ago) link
i made a modern to middle english translator once -- it didn't work very well:
"not alle messages are displayed: show alle messages (138 of them)"
― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 15 September 2010 22:43 (fourteen years ago) link
Pitchfork Reviews Revue - a troupe of Folies girls who review Pitchfork reviews via interpretive can-can routines
― tickle me lmao (unregistered), Thursday, 16 September 2010 02:49 (fourteen years ago) link
An edible model of the titanic -made of seitan- called : the seitanic
― bamcquern, Thursday, 16 September 2010 03:32 (fourteen years ago) link
they should make boogle which is google but has ghosts and skeletons
― stev23, Thursday, 16 September 2010 04:55 (fourteen years ago) link
xp - did i ever tell you about the spaghetti boats?
― sarahel, Thursday, 16 September 2010 05:29 (fourteen years ago) link
Last night I had this terrible idea while drunk having no patience at the microwave -
ME: I wish there was a microwave that would get something FIVE MINUTE hot but in just 50 seconds...EMILY: What?!ME: You know, like it still did the work of the time you wanted, but in a fraction of the time - 3 MINUTES in 30 seconds....EMILY: You mean a higher powered microwave?ME: Yeah, I guess so.
― i am giving you the caesar salad of compliments (Nijoli), Thursday, 16 September 2010 16:39 (fourteen years ago) link
hahaha, that was like some kind of microwave version of the spinal tap "goes to 11" thing
― hoos wears orange camo pants ffs (roxymuzak), Thursday, 23 September 2010 06:03 (fourteen years ago) link
lol totally!
― harbl madness (latebloomer), Thursday, 23 September 2010 06:29 (fourteen years ago) link
also
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9mioHO4hoM
― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, September 15, 2010 11:43 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark
aloh
― "SEX" drought, 2 wisks (zorn_bond.mp3), Thursday, 23 September 2010 06:38 (fourteen years ago) link
HOMER SIMPSON (watching meatloaf rotating in microwave oven): "Oooooh... Why isn't there anything faster than a microwave?"
― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Thursday, 23 September 2010 08:26 (fourteen years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKzr42_0rEg
― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Thursday, 23 September 2010 08:34 (fourteen years ago) link
"prose and cons": a collection of short stories written by inmates (no poems, though)
― tumlbrah (dayo), Monday, 27 September 2010 03:48 (fourteen years ago) link
wow, this is like the thread that i need to be on all the time.
― Muscus ex Craneo Humano (forksclovetofu), Monday, 27 September 2010 05:28 (fourteen years ago) link
I would read "Prose and Cons."
I'd at least crack it open, anyway.
― Mormons come out of the sky and they stand there (Abbbottt), Monday, 27 September 2010 05:30 (fourteen years ago) link
<3 this, cos I have exactly these kind of conversations.
― cathedral-sized jellyfish in your mind (Trayce), Monday, 27 September 2010 05:42 (fourteen years ago) link
The only one I can think of right now is "Minute Made" which was gonna be an album of songs we were only gonna allow ourselves one minute to write. Or be one minute long. I forget which now.
Gave up on that idea pretty fast.
― cathedral-sized jellyfish in your mind (Trayce), Monday, 27 September 2010 05:46 (fourteen years ago) link
lol @ half these being "your terrible puns"
― dirk funk (gr8080), Monday, 27 September 2010 05:52 (fourteen years ago) link
Telling my camp girlfriend "I only went out with you because girls at home don't like me"
― rammer jammer jan hammer (Hurting 2), Monday, 27 September 2010 06:06 (fourteen years ago) link
big up camp girlfriends
― dirk funk (gr8080), Monday, 27 September 2010 06:09 (fourteen years ago) link
Still want a microwave that gets things cold fast, like beer.
― http://tinyurl.com/vrrr0000m (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 18:37 (fourteen years ago) link
perhaps it would be a macrowave.
My brother has proposed such a thing so many times in life, and always follows it with an explanation of why it wouldn't work. He did it the other night on the phone. He really knows how to talk himself down from his own imagination.
― fear mongrels (Abbott), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 18:38 (fourteen years ago) link
Seems like if you can expand molecules without, you know, setting shit on fire or boiling it, you should also be able to contract molecules without freezing them.
― http://tinyurl.com/vrrr0000m (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 18:41 (fourteen years ago) link
http://ask.metafilter.com/162474/The-AntiKettle
― caek, Tuesday, 28 September 2010 18:45 (fourteen years ago) link
To create a reverse microwave maybe you just have to cross some wires in the power cord so you can have the same effect as when you put your flashlight batteries the wrong way round (it shines darkness).
― StanM, Tuesday, 28 September 2010 18:56 (fourteen years ago) link
What about when they purposefully give accident victims hypothermia so their systems shut down and they don't get infections. How come I can't do that to my beer?
― http://tinyurl.com/vrrr0000m (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 19:04 (fourteen years ago) link
Don't they just ice 'em down?
― If you want me to "get there," pay attention to my angina (WmC), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 19:05 (fourteen years ago) link
"Doctors cool the body a few degrees by injecting icy saline into the patient. The goal is to limit swelling, inflammation, and other spinal cord damage."
― http://tinyurl.com/vrrr0000m (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 19:07 (fourteen years ago) link
you could probably put cold saltwater in your beer
― congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 19:08 (fourteen years ago) link
"Hmmmm, Icy Cold Michelob Saline."
― http://tinyurl.com/vrrr0000m (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 19:08 (fourteen years ago) link
Might be an improvement.
― If you want me to "get there," pay attention to my angina (WmC), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 19:10 (fourteen years ago) link
maybe pre-freeze beer in a honeycomb lattice pucks, then drop those into a cup before pouring the rest of the beer in it -- it should colden up more quickly than ice cubes methinks?
― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 28 September 2010 19:11 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.wholesalebarsupplies.com/images/Chiller-Group.jpg
I've seen this in bars, but they're not handy at home.
Don't like them in bars either since you're no longer getting your money's worth.
― http://tinyurl.com/vrrr0000m (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 19:13 (fourteen years ago) link
― tumlbrah (dayo), Sunday, September 26, 2010 10:48 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Sorry, but I think Saturday Night Live beat you to it by a few decades (I can't watch this clip, but I think it's about Jack Abbott, the incarcerated writer Norman Mailer discovered)
― EDB, Tuesday, 28 September 2010 19:14 (fourteen years ago) link
take the principle of this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-heating_can and replace the exothermic reaction with an endothermic reaction. would probably cost too much though. endothermic reactions involve weird reagents and dangerous products.
― caek, Tuesday, 28 September 2010 19:47 (fourteen years ago) link
Theres a bottle shop near me that has these holes in bench that it say are for "rapid chilling" bottles of wine. I dunno how it works or how effective it is. But having one built into ones kitchen bench would be awesome.
― cathedral-sized jellyfish in your mind (Trayce), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 02:25 (fourteen years ago) link
A stick of rock with 'BAD IDEA' written all the way through it. So when people suggest something that's a bad idea, I can say "That's such a bad idea, that if it were a stick of rock, it would have 'BAD IDEA' written all the way through it.". Then I would hand them the actual stick of rock with 'BAD IDEA' written all the way through it.
― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Monday, 4 October 2010 17:20 (thirteen years ago) link
you can get 'em with 'Blackpool' written all the way through; pretty much the same thing
― acoleuthic, Monday, 4 October 2010 17:21 (thirteen years ago) link
haha
― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Monday, 4 October 2010 17:22 (thirteen years ago) link