hyperbole, by j0rdan s.

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I literally can't imagine a bigger waste of my time than reading some smug columnist describe the feedback loop around the word "literally"

upright shitizen's brigade (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, 18 November 2011 15:59 (thirteen years ago) link

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crüt, Friday, 18 November 2011 16:00 (thirteen years ago) link

I literally can't imagine a bigger waste of my time than reading some smug columnist describe the feedback loop around the word "literally"

― upright shitizen's brigade (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, November 18, 2011 9:59 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

haha

Regional Thug (D-40), Friday, 18 November 2011 22:12 (thirteen years ago) link

GO JETS

Dr Morbois de Bologne (Dr Morbius), Friday, 18 November 2011 22:17 (thirteen years ago) link

i think we all wish the jets godspeed on their current trajectory

Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 18 November 2011 22:23 (thirteen years ago) link

spiralls otm

yo zuccotti (J0rdan S.), Friday, 18 November 2011 22:23 (thirteen years ago) link

one month passes...

baby is actually playing like an overgrown six year old

― bern notice (J0rdan S.), Monday, May 9, 2011 8:07 PM (7 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^this is one if my favorite ever jordan posts

rebecca blah (k3vin k.), Sunday, 8 January 2012 23:45 (twelve years ago) link

five months pass...

i was more repulsed by an ad i saw for dunkin donuts' tuna sandwich than i was by the homeless man masturbating on the train three seats down from me

― J0rdan S., Thursday, July 5, 2012 9:08 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

now all my posts got ship in it (dayo), Friday, 6 July 2012 01:10 (twelve years ago) link

that thread's filled with choice h by j's

Black_vegeta (Hungry4Ass), Friday, 6 July 2012 01:20 (twelve years ago) link

how is this a real human being? someone detonate a car bomb in 'flatiron'

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, May 12, 2010 9:47 PM

lol

am0n, Friday, 6 July 2012 01:31 (twelve years ago) link

i can only imagine the hyperboles flying at the cell the other night with j0rd and morbs

mookieproof, Friday, 6 July 2012 01:38 (twelve years ago) link

i'd be more willing to consider an argument that richard nixon is the best president in the history of america than i would that there's a better fast food burger than in n out

― J0rdan S., Thursday, July 5, 2012 8:49 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

horseshoe, Friday, 6 July 2012 05:06 (twelve years ago) link

i think about alexa von tobel once every few months

J0rdan S., Friday, 6 July 2012 05:25 (twelve years ago) link

I knew I had a coffee maker and some Holder's House Blend coffee in my cupboard somewhere so it was about time I tried it out. Honestly, the coffee wasn't so bad. I was so used to my morning corner-coffee shop routine that I forgot how much I enjoyed a simple cup of joe in my apartment before I left for work.

take this pot of coffee and pour it on your face

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, May 12, 2010 9:46 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark

hahahahahaaa

the most astonishing writer on ilx (roxymuzak), Friday, 6 July 2012 17:25 (twelve years ago) link

anyone who thinks biggie is wack is actually mentally retarded

― the resulting pussy stubble (J0rdan S.), Saturday, July 10, 2010 2:34 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the most astonishing writer on ilx (roxymuzak), Friday, 6 July 2012 17:41 (twelve years ago) link

JSOTM

(✿◠‿◠) (ENBB), Friday, 6 July 2012 17:50 (twelve years ago) link

lol

carly rae (flopson), Friday, 6 July 2012 17:55 (twelve years ago) link

<3 this thread

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Friday, 6 July 2012 18:12 (twelve years ago) link

one month passes...

garibay is a terrorist

REV LION (The Reverend), Thursday, 9 August 2012 17:02 (twelve years ago) link

one month passes...

http://i.imgur.com/N5vXI.gif

mookieproof, Saturday, 22 September 2012 03:28 (twelve years ago) link

god, so excited every time this is bumped

the most astonishing writer on ilx (roxymuzak), Saturday, 22 September 2012 03:28 (twelve years ago) link

he's toying with us now

mookieproof, Saturday, 22 September 2012 03:30 (twelve years ago) link

I REGRET NOTHING

instafapper (J0rdan S.), Saturday, 22 September 2012 03:36 (twelve years ago) link

three weeks pass...

i'm serious -- pepper jack cheese and sushi is literally the most disgusting thing that someone has ever thought of -- not even just in the realm of food

― 2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, April 2, 2010 4:53 PM

(♥___♥) (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 17 October 2012 21:08 (twelve years ago) link

there was a period in my life where I drank 10 diet cokes a day

― Matt Armstrong, Tuesday, October 23, 2012 10:29 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

what in the living fuck

― lil dirk (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, October 23, 2012 10:32 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

drinking 10 diet cokes a day sounds roughly as bad to me as just outright being waterboarded with diet coke

― lil dirk (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, October 23, 2012 10:33 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

flopson, Sunday, 28 October 2012 00:18 (twelve years ago) link

not hyperbole imo

2016: Forks' America (crüt), Sunday, 28 October 2012 00:20 (twelve years ago) link

not proud of what I've done

Matt Armstrong, Sunday, 28 October 2012 00:20 (twelve years ago) link

one month passes...

the sad thing is that for as gross as this piece is, it seems like a pretty garden variety, like, naive white journalism student pitch

i'm more taken aback by the entire existence of "hire me grantland" -- my life has been permanently changed more or less

― J0rdan S., Thursday, November 29, 2012 9:45 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

❏❐❑❒ (gr8080), Thursday, 29 November 2012 21:45 (eleven years ago) link

any publication that puts amanda palmer in its top 50 should be classified by the pentagon as a terrorist organization

― J0rdan S., Monday, December 10, 2012 9:09 AM Bookmark

rap乒 4-tay (The Reverend), Monday, 10 December 2012 17:34 (eleven years ago) link

i have trouble participating in this thread bc i am so inured to hyperbole, by j0rdan s.

D-40, Monday, 10 December 2012 17:35 (eleven years ago) link

dude developed a distinctive posting style and you can't even recognize

rap乒 4-tay (The Reverend), Monday, 10 December 2012 17:38 (eleven years ago) link

that one is particularly beautiful

max, Monday, 10 December 2012 17:41 (eleven years ago) link

i knew this thread would get bumped for that post as soon as i read it

flopson, Monday, 10 December 2012 17:51 (eleven years ago) link

and me as i wrote it but i'm not letting the machine becoming sentient stop me

J0rdan S., Monday, 10 December 2012 17:53 (eleven years ago) link

one month passes...

that dog latin post should be an imprisonable offense irl

― d'eejban (J0rdan S.), Thursday, January 24, 2013 6:21 PM

mookieproof, Thursday, 24 January 2013 23:23 (eleven years ago) link

knew it would be that

besides Sunny Real Estate (dog latin), Friday, 25 January 2013 13:17 (eleven years ago) link

what thread

flag this post and die (roxymuzak), Friday, 1 February 2013 17:43 (eleven years ago) link

77 tracks of 2012

乒乓, Friday, 1 February 2013 17:44 (eleven years ago) link

oops i meant what thread is the og doglatin post. i never saw it despite all the talk

flag this post and die (roxymuzak), Friday, 1 February 2013 17:50 (eleven years ago) link

this was the post that was c/p'd into the thread, w/ context:

"Inspector Norse" is one I didn't get until I heard it out and then it all made sense

― these bitches is my sons and i make dad jokes (The Reverend), Monday, December 3, 2012 9:59 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what's not to get? who doesn't want to hear the soundtrack to a giant robot goose stomping down the street in celebration at having thwarted an insidious space attack?

― make like a steak and beef (dog latin), Monday, December 3, 2012 10:02 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark

乒乓, Friday, 1 February 2013 17:52 (eleven years ago) link

ok my control f is faulty

lmfbo @ that descrip

flag this post and die (roxymuzak), Friday, 1 February 2013 18:00 (eleven years ago) link

one month passes...

this halftime show is seriously the nadir of life

― J0rdan S., Sunday, March 3, 2013 11:15 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark

Clay, Monday, 4 March 2013 00:24 (eleven years ago) link

<3

that makes me miss football

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 4 March 2013 00:24 (eleven years ago) link

two months pass...

have to put sheets on my bed, would pretty much rather kill myself

― J0rdan S., Monday, July 18, 2011 2:05 AM (4 hours ago)

last night i slept in my bed without sheets instead of taking my sheets out of the dryer and making my bed

'scuse me while i make the sky cum (k3vin k.), Monday, 13 May 2013 16:56 (eleven years ago) link

one month passes...

i saw this article in which gwyneth paltrow said "i would rather die than let my child eat cup-a-soup", i thought of this thread

1 P.3. Eternal (roxymuzak), Monday, 8 July 2013 18:49 (eleven years ago) link

coop-a-soup

pplains, Monday, 8 July 2013 18:57 (eleven years ago) link

imagining gwen holding a gun to her head as her child sneers, her little plastic red spoon overflowing with broth

TALK TO THE HAND CUZ THE FACE DON'T WANNA HEAR IT (m bison), Monday, 8 July 2013 21:03 (eleven years ago) link

who isn't

Matt Poop (Matt P), Monday, 8 July 2013 21:05 (eleven years ago) link

chipotle has the best mexican food in manhattan

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, July 17, 2013 11:31 AM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

iatee, Wednesday, 17 July 2013 16:49 (eleven years ago) link

that's a peach

Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 17 July 2013 16:53 (eleven years ago) link

not hyperbole, just lovely

the man was truly one of a kind. moreso than even his opinions or personality, what i will remember most about bill is that he was a walking history book. it's not an exaggeration to say that a piece of new york died today as well. it will surprise no one who knows either him or me that he was constantly incredulous over me not knowing basically anything about much of the pop culture that made him who he was -- our conversations were classes for me, punctuated by impressions of bygone actors whose lines he would recall from memory and with recite relish. many ppl know he once dabbled in stand up comedy -- he was in his own way a performer at heart. he soaked up such an incredible amount of new york culture that you cannot access online -- mets games from the 60s, richard pryor stand up sets from the 70s, yo la tengo hannukah shows, WMFU call in shows, leather parties... i'm barely scratching the surface. his memory of these things was so clear. and he never let up, even as he got sick and the world became cruel to him. i was decades younger than him, much healthier, and he made me feel like i was wasting my life in this city. he would drag me to mets games, to movies, even when it was obvious that simply climbing the concourse stairs at citi field was taking its toll. there simply isn't very many people like him left in new york. there are many things killing this city, but people like bill are taking history with them, and we will never get it back.

his appetite for introducing ppl to things was just voracious. i believe the last time we saw each other was earlier this year when he took me to see gregg araki's "totally fucked up" at moma. loved it, still think about the movie often, and it's something i never would have done otherwise. lord knows how many times he had seen it, how easy it would have been to not ride the subway an hour into manhattan on a cold weeknight. i got there late (typical), and since bill proudly refused to own a cell phone, i wasn't sure if he had actually made it. even as the lights went up, i thought maybe i would just be left to walk out alone into the night. but of course, that was never the case. a hand shot up and waved at me.

i will miss his companionship, i will miss knowing i was even a small part of what made him want to criss cross brooklyn queens and manhattan, and i will miss learning from him. he had an incredible run given the cards he was dealt, and yet it's still far too soon. he was a legend to everyone who knew him. rest in peace morbs <3

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, October 21, 2020 10:44 PM (eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

mookieproof, Thursday, 22 October 2020 02:55 (four years ago) link

thanks mookie <3

J0rdan S., Thursday, 22 October 2020 03:08 (four years ago) link

Yeah that’s a wonderful tribute.

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Thursday, 22 October 2020 03:11 (four years ago) link

<3

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 22 October 2020 03:16 (four years ago) link

Good stuff

Whiney G. Weingarten, Thursday, 22 October 2020 03:19 (four years ago) link

yeah, i loved reading that too. thanks, j0rdan.

president of my cat (Karl Malone), Thursday, 22 October 2020 04:35 (four years ago) link

beautiful post

flopson, Thursday, 22 October 2020 06:50 (four years ago) link

yes -- beautiful tribute

(show hidden tics) (WmC), Thursday, 22 October 2020 13:09 (four years ago) link

<3 that’s beautiful J0rdan

flamboyant goon tie included, Thursday, 22 October 2020 13:41 (four years ago) link


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