your terrible ideas

Whenever getting asked what he's going as for the office Halloween party, telling co-workers he's dressing up as Al Jolson.

People either freeze in disgust or walk away or beg him to reconsider. "Nah, it's a real easy costume. All I'm gonna do is –"

Finally the big moment. Everyone makes their grand entrance and then here comes... Al Jolson.

https://i.imgur.com/OWzqU2d.jpg

ABBA-themed porn titled Waterlewd.

[boink]ing Me, [boink]ing You

Take a [bleep] on Me

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! A [slide whistle, double bike horn honk] After Midnight

Having the (bleep) of your life

a machine that lets you sleep for the rest of your life, and then you're connected to a dream network with other people doing the permasleep and you can connect with them in various locations in your dream state and make friends and while you're in this state you're fed with like Robocop's food and stuff.

A concept album based on Empson’s Seven Types of Ambiguity (a track per ambiguity)

a machine that lets you sleep for the rest of your life, and then you're connected to a dream network with other people doing the permasleep and you can connect with them in various locations in your dream state and make friends and while you're in this state you're fed with like Robocop's food and stuff.

― Cool Im An Situation (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 17 November 2021 20:23 (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

This is the popular 90s sci-Fi movie The Matrix, yes?

What's The Matrix?

That reminds me of the cool, fun idea I had about the time travelling machine that goes back to punish you if you don't invent it.

every gig, the time machine at your merch table.

I always thought Empson should have called the book A Bunch of Types of Ambiguity

hahaha

reminds me of a long-ago friend's mishearing of "You're So Vain" as "You're So Vague." It's possible this song is about you...

A sneakerhead offshoot trend where sneakers are collected for comfort rather than style or rarity, and the most prized kicks are the consensus most comfortable ones.

I feel like there would be a lot of opportunity for unboxing youtube videos where the "cushbeasts" (as they would be called) slip their feet into the shoes and wax about how cozy and comfy they are.

Posting "too soon" to all Macy's pix appearing in my feed tomorrow.

Metallica becomes the federal government

Sandmanifest Destiny

wait no

E Pluribus Unum Kind of Monster

^ yeah, that

For Whom the Capi Tolls

O beautiful for spacious skies
And amber Dave Mustaine

Master of Budgets

Squidieval Times franchise

A Grateful Dead cover band called Polka Round.

The t-shirts for the band say "Just Gotta Polk Around!" and feature James K. Polk as the "Shakedown Street Dude" but playing an accordion.

http://ssdd.samsbiz.com/store/image/y83a/Patches_Grateful_Dead_-_Shakedown_Street_Dude_Patch.jpg

The band does reggae covers of Dead tunes and does not play polka

http://ssdd.samsbiz.com/store/image/y83a/Patches_Grateful_Dead_-_Shakedown_Street_Dude_Patch.jpg

Smockin’

a martial art style based entirely on david lee roth's stage antics

might as well jump

A late 80s Prince themed noodle bar called Let's Get To Ramen.

start a nuclear war, get a bunch of hair metal cassettes, mislabel them Beethoven, Mozart, etc, and bury them in a bunker with their biographies so that future historians think classical music sounded like Ratt.

An online battle royale style Monopoly game, where you have to play against 99 other people, and each game lasts 4 days.

i was surprised to find a rule in the instructions about auctioning off any unowned property whenever any player lands on it. we've never played that particular rule. and i think it would solve the problem of long games, which is the thing everyone complains about.

Lol yup. I remember finding that out when I was 15 and being like WE'VE NEVER DONE IT THAT WAY to my friends

yeah, in general, Monopoly is substantially better and quicker when played by the rules (though still not great imo). it becomes a long and miserable experience, paradoxically, as people try to lighten the experience with house rules like the near-universal skipping of the forced-auction system, and the addition of the Free Parking cash bailout, which actually just drag things out. i think instinctively people want to "soften" the game, because most don't really enjoy the mechanic of players being eliminated one by one in a game that's this long. but it all just ends up prolonging everything. (i really don't like Monopoly.)

it's a shitty game

.

Yes, Monopoly def belongs itt as someone's terrible idea.

The original version (which was stolen) was actually intended as a criticism of capitalism

Feel like that message still comes across.

whoever owns all the property at the end, saves the day and becomes the town's beloved mayor. the mayor gives everyone free housing and pays for everything all the time. mr moneybags becomes known as "mayor generous-bags" and universal free education is provided for everyone from birth until death

but still, some on the far left contend that mayor generous bags has not been mayor "generous enough"

there is/was an office furniture company called hayworth that had a custom monopoly game made for its employees i guess? or customers? anyway it's called hayworthopoly and it's really fucking cool. we got it for $3 at value village and played it about twice.

the players are pieces of office furniture

I'm sitting on a Haworth chair right now ("Lively") and I played Monopoly with my child and spouse this afternoon

always wanted to form a doowop group that sang nothing but insults

hahaha

i hope it would be the bass singer who delivers the best/worst punchlines every time, in a thunderingly low octave

or the same insults again, but now in a spoken-word section, invariably beginning with "darling," "dearest one" etc.