your terrible ideas

of course, you'd have to arrange the morning routines with the neighborhood ahead of time. the old-timers would kick off the coffee process at around 4 am, make their way up and down the block, and then by the time i get up around 9:15-10am, that recycled steam is just about to get to my place, nice

Karl, I am pretty sure there are aspects of distillation and saltmaking that are done precisely that way (individual modules, each of whose whose heat powers the next one). Not quite perpetual but definitely similar

a toilet that recycles your poos and makes a healthy smoothie out of it

Fuck yes

Ye Mad, that makes me feel good, but I can’t help but feel the next terrible step is to take it to the community coffee level

isn't salt made with an electric current or something

how about an auto-generated thread or feed that is just made up of twitter links that people post on ILX in real time. so i can just read twitter through ILX's eyes and never have to post or interact

on ILX or on twitter, to be clear

a toilet that recycles your poos and makes a healthy smoothie out of it

― Deez NFTs (Neanderthal), Thursday, May 12, 2022 10:04 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Hungry? Perhaps you'd like a POOP BURGER

I updated the Wikipedia article for "poop" with all of the details from the article DJP posted, but they took all of it out cos it turned out to be fake lol

xp wow my posts on that thread sure are terrible. Co-incidentally, because I thought of this earlier this afternoon before reading the updates to this thread...

A really bad Kaiser Chiefs tribute band from Germany, called the Schiesse Chiefs.

A big box store called The Ham Depot where they only sell ham

Home Depot doesn't sell homes????

What a terrible idea.

Talking about Home Depot, not you Chinchilla.

No. If you need homes, you go to Toll Brothers.

And if you need Wals to build those homes, you go to Wal-Mart.

And if you need fresh, fragrant cookies to make those houses into homes, you go to Toll House.

sears used to sell homes
in an earlier time, i bet the home depot really would have sold homes

let's face it: we all love going to home depot

I just go for the music.

Home Depot absolutely sells homes, but there may be some assembly required

germ gems, jewelry shaped like germs

what about a dispensary called "home de pot"

or POT DEPOT

has there been a weed kingpin called the pot despot? if not i may have to claim the title for myself. except i don’t smoke or anything. perhaps i should take up pottery and throw down with forks (lol get it, throw, like pottery) for the title of ilx’s pot despot. except fuck fucking with clay, my hands are dry enough already. i guess forks wins this round. get it, round, like a pot?

this post has been brought to you by a series of terrible ideas.

An action film, but arty/snobby, so instead of lots of explosions you get lots of implosions.

That’s just Magnolia

has there been a weed kingpin called the pot despot?

There was Pol Pot.

A remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre as a period piece set in the 19th century; instead of a chainsaw, Leatherface runs around with a hacksaw making "VRR, VRR" noises.

... or perhaps he and his brother each hold either end of a two-man saw.

A noodle bar where they play loud drum & bass music all the time, called "Ramen Break"

in middle school our 7th grade teacher wanted us to do a report on the Israel-Palestine conflict.

my original idea was going to be taking the song "River of Dreams" and doing a Weird Al parody that went

In the middle eaaaaast
they were fightin' over there

and all of the lyrics were about the conflict.

I showed what I wrote to my brother and he said "that's really stupid", so I scrapped it.

a year later I tried to do another Weird Al type parody of Stone Temple Pilots "Sex Type Thing" called "Food Type Thing" and I just found a copy of the file today, and it went...

"I am, I am, I am
I said a want a double whopper please
I want a double whopper without cheese
you wouldn't want me go to Mickey D's
Mickey D's

I know I want a Number 9
I know I"d like a Number 9
I know the Whopper comes with fries
I know I know I know"

brother also said that was stupid....so I stopped

seems your brother fears losing you to monumental success

In 8th Grade History I did a song about Mohammed to the tune of “Mother by Pink Floyd”

Mohammed do you think they’ll write the Koran
Mohammed do you think you should start Islam

Something like that

I want to see a line of novelty t-shirts in the vein of the "big johnson" ones called "BALLS OUT" that are absolutely literal with no innuendo or double entrendre whatsoever.

So the shirt on display at whatever the current equivalent of Spencer Gifts will say something like "BALLS OUT YOGA" with a somewhat realistic drawing - in the style of, say, Dave Berg or Mort Drucker" - of a guy doing yoga with his scrotum accidentally dangling out. No one in the drawings will be reacting in any way to the situation.

I sang a song about minerals in 6th grade. It was called mineral man, and although I wrote the lyrics beforehand I did not bother to think of how the sing went. I sang the song and around the room pointing my fake mineral gun lasers at fake minerals, blasting them into smaller fake minerals. The class cracked up and the boys thought I was a hero for the day; the girls understood that I was at least 6-8 years away from puberty and I became everyone’s weird little brother

heardle clone where all the tracks are autechre

I'm pretty sure I'd be better at autecheardle than at heardle

A porn magazine called MASSIVE MELONS, but it’s fully clothed middle aged men with enormous heads.

Following on from 'hot yoga', a health concept called 'Hot Yoghurt'. Basically a room with the heating cranked on full where people are served tubs yoghurt that have been microwaved.

A song advertising sloppy joes sauce that uses the melody from the chorus of “Take Me Home (Country Roads),” with just the words “sloppy joes” sung over and over again.

Sloppy joes
sloppy joes
sloppy joes
sloppy joo-ooooes
sloppy joes yea
sloppy joes
take me home
sloppy joes”

lol

i like this terrible idea, and suspect that jd's immortal melody will graft itself to every three-syllable phrase that arises in my mind for the foreseeable

oh god

oh no

what have you done

Bill Danoff's melody

letting the joes go by, let the sloppies hold the joes
letting the joes go by, sloppies flowing under joes
into the joes again, into the sloppy joes
under the sloppy joes, there are sloppies under joes

Aerosmith's New Album is called Sloppin' On Joe-Joe

I mean Adam Sandler kinda had a song like this on his first album

I have never heard anything beyond the Hanukkah song and the stuff from the Wedding Singer. Adam Sandler might be the actor I have avoided most throughout my life, I hate him.

he's got quite the Razzie collection

i just dont like his face or his idiot smirk

Aerosmith's New Album is called Sloppin' On Joe-Joe

― Doctor Casino, Wednesday, June 22, 2022 1:21 PM (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

https://i.imgur.com/1bqGQBP.png

hahahhahaa

lmfao