your terrible ideas

17. Sell white rice dyed brown to exploit gullible newcomers to the health food world (long time health food consumers would probably see right through the scam.) The brand would be called "Rice that is Brown" rather than "So-and-So brown rice" and list the ingredients in super timy print.

eh..tiny print

haha the next step would be "Rice that is Multiethnic" and it would just be bag of Fruity Pebbles.

would that actually like... save you any money?

slocki you don't get it--IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

18. an adaptation of Do You Remember Love?/Macross for the musical theater/broadway stage.

maybe less terrible and more so not gonna happen why bc i am lazy

im dying over rice that is brown

19. Putting a book of my poetry out
20. Taking up a drug habit on the back of the highly unlikely profits from this anthology of work (any suggestions for the drugs?)

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

21. Combination mezzuzah and bottle opener, so you're never at a loss with a cold beer in your hand.

(xxpost) not my terrible idea, but someone once suggested to me, in all seriousness, that I become a smack head in order to guarantee that I could continue to claim benefits.

patoetry plzzz

art project involving tramp stamps, semen and polaroid camera.

A Terrible Plan!

tramp stamps on actual tramps

like, hoboes

i thought it would be great an edgy brooklyn gallery! you know, like, transgressive sexuality & the mainstream appeal of defacing the body. or something.

you have to go for that obsessive all-over-composition style in the installation ... also you need typewritten descriptions of the context for each photo

make the stamp say something edgy like "FEMINISM" or "ART" or something

the images will be titled with the content of the stamp.

for example:
daisies no. 2
chinese character nos. 1-3

maybe you can install them onto a traced map of your city, with push pins, and place them in the locations where the people live or were photographed, and it could be a commentary on gentrification or routes travelled.

I'm trying to combine all the edgy art trends I can think of ...

^feelin this

http://regretfulmorning.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/dunk-hunt-tramp-stamp.jpg

http://purefnevyl.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/corinthians_tramp_stamp.jpg

http://www.thesicness.com/pics/march09/03072009/tramp_stamp.jpg

I think a pretty funny tramp stamp would be a second asshole

http://rlv.zcache.com/tramp_stamp_inspector_mug-p168228570079141682qzje_400.jpg

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

u drunk

Nope and I still stand by that statement.

"dunk hunt"

20-something. momus hosts a cooking show called "cumin in a girl's mouth"

otherwise known as "Monday" in Japan

Freak out the receptionist at work.

Sorry John, but I like to freak you out

This thread reminds me of a scene from Office Space:

TOM: You know there are people in this world who don't have to put up with all this shit? Like that guy that invented the pet rock. You see, that's what you have to do. You have to use your mind and come up with some really great idea like that and you never have to work again!

MICHAEL (with resigned, but obvious, disgust): You think the pet rock was a really great idea?

TOM: Sure it was. The guy made a million dollars!

The confident, oblivious way Tom answers Michael Bolton always makes me smile.

Staying on to train my replacement.

tbf is that YOUR terrible idea, or the terrible idea of the management?

you had better tell him about the hardline no homophobes policy.

my terrible idea. i haven't actually suggested it to anyone as they don't even know i'm leaving yet, but i'm considering it. means my two weeks notice would maybe be extended by one week.

Is it the kind of place, where if you concede to doing that, they could be nice and let you collect unemployment?

Blind Items...OF THE FUTURE

this yoga place here in the DC area had the terrible idea to send around a halloween promo email that says HAPPY YOGA'WEEN

at first I was like.. what! they are starting a yoga class with only music from WEEN? sadly, they aren't

lol yoga'ween is utterly ridiculous.

my current terrible idea is crushing on a woman fifteen years older than me.

i'm sure she'd be flattered

yeah, i'd rather get some snuggling tbh.

i always joked that since my last two relationship fell apart when the lady turned thirty, i really wanted to try dating someone on the cusp of 40; this lady is 39. sigh.

be careful.

well, yeah.

I saw a sticker on a car today that looked like a rastafied Motorhead logo and thought it might have said "Märleyhead". If this hasn't been done it would be a pretty terrible idea for a cover band - play the Bob songs Lemmy style and the Lemmy songs Bob style.

bands should play live albums live

recreate the stage banter from famous sets
any infamous fights
mistakes re-made

great idea. would it be their own famous live albums, or other people's?

"KANSAS presents, one night only...

their rendition of IGGY POP'S Metallic K.O."

Neanderthal have you heard The Residents “cover album” of James Brown’s live at the apollo? They recreate all the ad libs and banter and the introduction etc, very strange sounding of course

oh no but see I knew someone had to have done it!

I really want a t-shirt that says "Ask me about my SHIRT" - does this exist?

I feel like a "Don't ask me about my SHIRT" t-shirt would be better

I'm going to write a book where I dress as a 70s disco habitué and reveal my encounters with rockism in present-day society.

Glam Like Me

Right-winger sets out to write "Gay Like Me"

... ends up publishing "Gay Me".

Wouldn’t “Gay Like Me” imply a person going undercover as gay to see how gay people are treated, and thus not be a right wing idea?

man alive! Hey

the reverse is a book about how someone who was previously intolerant grew to embrace gay culture, called Me Like Gay

Hey YMP!

biopic should be defined ongoing as a film of someone going to the bathroom. biographical films should be called Wikipedia on Film

edible pro audio equipment & medical supplies

a cover of charles lloyd's "TM" but it's about cock and ball torture

A cover version of Billy Joel's 'Allentown' but titled 'Camden Town' and with new lyrics such as:

Well we're waiting here in Camden Town
for the Cool Brittania we never found

for dogs that constantly eat other dogs' shit...

a type of doggy treat that smells and looks like shit, but is actually full of helpful nutrients

Feces Pieces

A coffee place called "Small Bach Roasters." The logo is a tiny J.S. Bach (perhaps with his tininess emphasized by a coffee mug for scale)

Remaster of Ken Burns' "The Civil War" except instead of slow pans across bloody battlefields, A.I. is used to animate Matthew Brady's photos.

Just picturing a sepia three-eared Stonewall Jackson, his mouth fluttering open and closed like a tarp tied too loosely to the back of a pick-up truck.

hahaha, I like that idea

putting tea into an espresso machine to make concentrated shots of extremely strong tea

then you could add water to make it just like normal tea again. this would be called the "teamericano"

There's a dude I follow on instagram who demos all kinds of espresso equipment and sometimes he does weird stuff like putting cocoa in the portafilter or a lemon at the bottom of it. Possible he's tried tea bags.

I've had the sound of this stuck in my head for a week - it's a hip-hop cover of Fast Car in shitty rap-singing (think like 50 Cent singing a hook), but it's completely straight, no changes to the lyrics, done all the way through.

I can hear it and I love it

A Muppet parody of The Bear The Bear is Fozzy. Kermit is Carmy and Miss Piggy calls him Carmy in the same voice she would say “Kermie“.

Off to join the WGA.

next Euros have England be the only team in it.

Commando: Home Alone. Arnold reprises his role as John Matrix in this crossover film. This time the burglars have really picked the wrong house.

somehow that reminds me of an idea i had to develop a mythology where "altered states" is a sequel to "jungle 2 jungle", where the william hurt character leaves academia and goes into the private sector and becomes tim allen

sounds like Lost Highway

A 2024 record by ? and the Mysterians called "58 Years", where the singer details all the horrible life events that have happened to the female subject of the song in the decades since she left him and he recorded "96 Tears"

Commando: Home Alone. Arnold reprises his role as John Matrix in this crossover film. This time the burglars have really picked the wrong house.

I would prefer if John Matrix were the one trying to get into the house, like maybe he put the wrong address in google maps for where his kidnapped daughter is being held.