your terrible ideas

17. Sell white rice dyed brown to exploit gullible newcomers to the health food world (long time health food consumers would probably see right through the scam.) The brand would be called "Rice that is Brown" rather than "So-and-So brown rice" and list the ingredients in super timy print.

eh..tiny print

haha the next step would be "Rice that is Multiethnic" and it would just be bag of Fruity Pebbles.

would that actually like... save you any money?

slocki you don't get it--IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

18. an adaptation of Do You Remember Love?/Macross for the musical theater/broadway stage.

maybe less terrible and more so not gonna happen why bc i am lazy

im dying over rice that is brown

19. Putting a book of my poetry out
20. Taking up a drug habit on the back of the highly unlikely profits from this anthology of work (any suggestions for the drugs?)

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

21. Combination mezzuzah and bottle opener, so you're never at a loss with a cold beer in your hand.

(xxpost) not my terrible idea, but someone once suggested to me, in all seriousness, that I become a smack head in order to guarantee that I could continue to claim benefits.

patoetry plzzz

art project involving tramp stamps, semen and polaroid camera.

A Terrible Plan!

tramp stamps on actual tramps

like, hoboes

i thought it would be great an edgy brooklyn gallery! you know, like, transgressive sexuality & the mainstream appeal of defacing the body. or something.

you have to go for that obsessive all-over-composition style in the installation ... also you need typewritten descriptions of the context for each photo

make the stamp say something edgy like "FEMINISM" or "ART" or something

the images will be titled with the content of the stamp.

for example:
daisies no. 2
chinese character nos. 1-3

maybe you can install them onto a traced map of your city, with push pins, and place them in the locations where the people live or were photographed, and it could be a commentary on gentrification or routes travelled.

I'm trying to combine all the edgy art trends I can think of ...

^feelin this

http://regretfulmorning.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/dunk-hunt-tramp-stamp.jpg

http://purefnevyl.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/corinthians_tramp_stamp.jpg

http://www.thesicness.com/pics/march09/03072009/tramp_stamp.jpg

I think a pretty funny tramp stamp would be a second asshole

http://rlv.zcache.com/tramp_stamp_inspector_mug-p168228570079141682qzje_400.jpg

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

u drunk

Nope and I still stand by that statement.

"dunk hunt"

20-something. momus hosts a cooking show called "cumin in a girl's mouth"

otherwise known as "Monday" in Japan

Freak out the receptionist at work.

Sorry John, but I like to freak you out

This thread reminds me of a scene from Office Space:

TOM: You know there are people in this world who don't have to put up with all this shit? Like that guy that invented the pet rock. You see, that's what you have to do. You have to use your mind and come up with some really great idea like that and you never have to work again!

MICHAEL (with resigned, but obvious, disgust): You think the pet rock was a really great idea?

TOM: Sure it was. The guy made a million dollars!

The confident, oblivious way Tom answers Michael Bolton always makes me smile.

Staying on to train my replacement.

tbf is that YOUR terrible idea, or the terrible idea of the management?

you had better tell him about the hardline no homophobes policy.

my terrible idea. i haven't actually suggested it to anyone as they don't even know i'm leaving yet, but i'm considering it. means my two weeks notice would maybe be extended by one week.

Is it the kind of place, where if you concede to doing that, they could be nice and let you collect unemployment?

Blind Items...OF THE FUTURE

this yoga place here in the DC area had the terrible idea to send around a halloween promo email that says HAPPY YOGA'WEEN

at first I was like.. what! they are starting a yoga class with only music from WEEN? sadly, they aren't

lol yoga'ween is utterly ridiculous.

my current terrible idea is crushing on a woman fifteen years older than me.

i'm sure she'd be flattered

yeah, i'd rather get some snuggling tbh.

i always joked that since my last two relationship fell apart when the lady turned thirty, i really wanted to try dating someone on the cusp of 40; this lady is 39. sigh.

be careful.

well, yeah.

I saw a sticker on a car today that looked like a rastafied Motorhead logo and thought it might have said "Märleyhead". If this hasn't been done it would be a pretty terrible idea for a cover band - play the Bob songs Lemmy style and the Lemmy songs Bob style.

LOL

haha!

A cover of The La's 'There She Goes' performed by a deep sea trawlerman, titled 'Thar She Blows!'.

― darling you were wonderful you really were quite good (snoball), Saturday, 12 November 2016 16:49 (nine years ago) bookmarkflaglink

a movie called “So I Married a Whale Hunter,” an updated filmic version of Moby-Dick, with its most famous song being “Thar She Blows” (to the tune of the La’s)

― broccoli rabe thomas (the table is the table), Tuesday, 11 October 2022 12:51 (three years ago) bookmarkflaglink

I like your cover art idea.

HA!! But, oh god, “broccoli rabe thomas” reminded me of a much, much worse idea I had many years ago. I wouldn’t wanna share it here cause it’s too embarrassing but now I think i gotta. I mean this one is truly fucking abysmal, idk brace yourself.

A support act for Personal and The Pizzas called Broccoli Rob and the Ruffage. At the time I had this terrible idea, Personal and the Pizzas had a promotion going with Maxwell’s in Hoboken which was a free personal pizza with admission to their shows.

You know where this is going, right? Broccoli Rob and his band are styled as pocket protector wearing nerds straight outta Saved by the Bell as a foil to Personal’s slimeball, greaser image. I guess I’d be the total dickhead svengali figure/manager.

It gets worse, the concept was my guys would take the stage unannounced and briefly introduce themselves in a confrontational manner, saying “we heard that you people were… eating pizza!” in an accusational, outraged tone, only for Personal and his band The Pizzas to invade the stage during the Ruffage’s opening number (a sunday school singalong about the virtues of healthy eating, obv) and violently eject the poor dweebs to riotious applause.

I’m very sorry.

so they'd be like the Washington Generals?

i feel like that's the kind of deep lore/immersion i wish more bands would commit to honestly

(googles Washington Generals) yes, EXACTLY

Every band that no longer has an original member is required to rename themselves Englebert Humperdinck

the local church is advertising a concert 'From Hayden to Humperdinck' which made me do a doubletake

Super Mario Brothers but with Bowser from Sha Na Na instead of that dinosaur thing.

i forgot that broccoli rabe thomas was my DN for a while!!

an alltime banger imo

Bark Entries Goth Dog Grooming

for those people who claim movies and music have sucked for decades, who, as a result, are unable to enjoy their old classics anymore due to overplay, a technology that 'wipes' your memory of having seen the art in question.

seen Star Wars too many times to enjoy properly anymore? now you haven't! and this time...you might not like it!

be careful though, some settings could result in the loss of more important memories (from your own life, or things like how to go to the bathroom)

could have a "nostalgia" setting so you remember seeing it when you were little or at a certain stage of life, but delete memories of interim viewings which dilute the original nostalgic potency.

An animated feature based on Harry and Tonto and starring Barney Rubble, possibly set in a modern stone age.

Harry and Tonto’s Expanding Head Band

Going to every Brandi Carlile concert and loudly requesting Belinda Carlisle songs

a kidz bop version of “venus of furs” that starts with “tiny boots of leather”

A Weird Al-style Belle & Sebastian parody song called "Crocs in the Snow", told from the perspective of the parent of a teenager who cannot seem to get them to dress appropriately for the weather.

(I actually think this is a great idea but it qualifies as terrible because the Venn diagram of people who would appreciate is likely primarily me)

Keep a line in there about sledding in your jammmie bottoms, and I'm with you, LS.

Super Mario Brothers but with Bowser from Sha Na Na Bosley Crowther instead of that dinosaur thing.

― cryptosicko, Friday, 14 November 2025 14:11 (one month ago) bookmarkflaglink

a coffee shop with like 5 single-use bathrooms all plushly appointed with "nice" scented candles burning called sip & shit

lmao

Smokes for Blokes: a revolutionary idea to disrupt the tobacco market by capitalizing on the "marketing of masculinity" trend and, for the first time, marketing cigarettes to men

perhaps with cowboys or a cartoon animal with a gigantic phallus fur a nose

a Doobie Brothers cover band called the Boobie Druthers

lol

Stakin' It to the Treats

and don't forget classics like Whack Blotter and Gyno Shrove

A podcast featuring a transphobe and a medieval peasant called "Serf and TERF"

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