your terrible ideas

19. Putting a book of my poetry out
20. Taking up a drug habit on the back of the highly unlikely profits from this anthology of work (any suggestions for the drugs?)

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

21. Combination mezzuzah and bottle opener, so you're never at a loss with a cold beer in your hand.

(xxpost) not my terrible idea, but someone once suggested to me, in all seriousness, that I become a smack head in order to guarantee that I could continue to claim benefits.

patoetry plzzz

art project involving tramp stamps, semen and polaroid camera.

A Terrible Plan!

tramp stamps on actual tramps

like, hoboes

i thought it would be great an edgy brooklyn gallery! you know, like, transgressive sexuality & the mainstream appeal of defacing the body. or something.

you have to go for that obsessive all-over-composition style in the installation ... also you need typewritten descriptions of the context for each photo

make the stamp say something edgy like "FEMINISM" or "ART" or something

the images will be titled with the content of the stamp.

for example:
daisies no. 2
chinese character nos. 1-3

maybe you can install them onto a traced map of your city, with push pins, and place them in the locations where the people live or were photographed, and it could be a commentary on gentrification or routes travelled.

I'm trying to combine all the edgy art trends I can think of ...

^feelin this

http://regretfulmorning.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/dunk-hunt-tramp-stamp.jpg

http://purefnevyl.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/corinthians_tramp_stamp.jpg

http://www.thesicness.com/pics/march09/03072009/tramp_stamp.jpg

I think a pretty funny tramp stamp would be a second asshole

http://rlv.zcache.com/tramp_stamp_inspector_mug-p168228570079141682qzje_400.jpg

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

u drunk

Nope and I still stand by that statement.

"dunk hunt"

20-something. momus hosts a cooking show called "cumin in a girl's mouth"

otherwise known as "Monday" in Japan

Freak out the receptionist at work.

Sorry John, but I like to freak you out

This thread reminds me of a scene from Office Space:

TOM: You know there are people in this world who don't have to put up with all this shit? Like that guy that invented the pet rock. You see, that's what you have to do. You have to use your mind and come up with some really great idea like that and you never have to work again!

MICHAEL (with resigned, but obvious, disgust): You think the pet rock was a really great idea?

TOM: Sure it was. The guy made a million dollars!

The confident, oblivious way Tom answers Michael Bolton always makes me smile.

Staying on to train my replacement.

tbf is that YOUR terrible idea, or the terrible idea of the management?

you had better tell him about the hardline no homophobes policy.

my terrible idea. i haven't actually suggested it to anyone as they don't even know i'm leaving yet, but i'm considering it. means my two weeks notice would maybe be extended by one week.

Is it the kind of place, where if you concede to doing that, they could be nice and let you collect unemployment?

Blind Items...OF THE FUTURE

this yoga place here in the DC area had the terrible idea to send around a halloween promo email that says HAPPY YOGA'WEEN

at first I was like.. what! they are starting a yoga class with only music from WEEN? sadly, they aren't

lol yoga'ween is utterly ridiculous.

my current terrible idea is crushing on a woman fifteen years older than me.

i'm sure she'd be flattered

yeah, i'd rather get some snuggling tbh.

i always joked that since my last two relationship fell apart when the lady turned thirty, i really wanted to try dating someone on the cusp of 40; this lady is 39. sigh.

be careful.

well, yeah.

I saw a sticker on a car today that looked like a rastafied Motorhead logo and thought it might have said "Märleyhead". If this hasn't been done it would be a pretty terrible idea for a cover band - play the Bob songs Lemmy style and the Lemmy songs Bob style.

redemption song still the show stopper.

i would go out of morbid curiosity

which may or may not be a terrible idea in itself

want to open up a french fry shop in moscow called 'vladimir poutine'

that is not a terrible idea, it's a TERRIFIC idea!

A brokerage or real-estate office where liberals who live in red states and conservatives who live in godless heathen liberal areas can just swap properties -- yea or nay?

conservatives don't surrender ime

darraghmac, just imagine that I came out with a new "translation" of the Tain bo Cuailnge where Cuchullain had a little kid helper always quick with a current-to-the-times wisecrack, and the name of the character was like "Moomoollin'"

now animate that

.....

― brad whitford's impotent rage (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Friday, 30 April 2010 16:29 (4 hours ago) Bookmark

^ could still get behind this, tbh

parody thread called "Best of the Internet: Animated YIFs."

then did a google search and oh god why

why why why

Commando: Home Alone. Arnold reprises his role as John Matrix in this crossover film. This time the burglars have really picked the wrong house.

I would prefer if John Matrix were the one trying to get into the house, like maybe he put the wrong address in google maps for where his kidnapped daughter is being held.

I was amusing myself today imagining a guy who unironically refers to his toes as "The Wolf Pack"

Ha!

need to get these puppies outta my boots before they start to hoooowl

― budo jeru, Monday, July 22, 2024 4:26 PM (sixteen seconds ago) bookmarkflaglink

haha what thread?

rejected JBR screen names

Godzilla Minus One, a Jazz play along record.

Read that as Godzilla Mingus One

Someone else's terrible idea - a keyring for your car keys that's a miniature of your car's number plate. Terrible because if you lose your keys, whoever picks them up could then find your car and steal it.

a reality television show where they bring on people who are known for telling outlandish tall tales about things that allegedly happen to them to look badass, and then acquaintances of that person who were there when these events happen, with the latter throwing cold water on the cool stories OP was telling and sharing what actually happened.

"one time I stole a car and was chased by the police"

"no actually, you borrowed your mother's car, with permission, and the cops were chasing another vehicle ahead of you and you pulled over"

A jazz band featuring AI generated vocals of the former US Vice President, called Al Gore Rhythms

Yo La Tengo cover band that performs inside a protective plastic bubble, called Noli Me Tangere

public toilets with a handle attached to the flush lever so that you never have to touch the dirty flush lever

But the handle will be dirty

floor mounted flushes that you can step on

I've seen those in trains. Not a terrible idea, but they often don't work.

But the handle will be dirty

― Bad Bairns (Boring, Maryland), Sunday, August 18, 2024 2:11 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

lol exactly, see thread title

There is a bucket of disposable, single use handles for people who are concerned about that*

*the handles are sitting in pickle juice

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GU7cPbEXsAA_AOA?format=jpg&name=small

I was thinking, did I once see a pic of Russian public toilets with glass barrier walls, not like the self-cleaning sealed Japanese ones that turn opaque as soon as you shut the door. No, just glass.

Golf umbrella javelin. Just like regular javelin, but with a golf umbrella instead of a javelin.

Instead of releasing these £200 expanded box sets, they should rerelease classic albums with a bunch of tracks missing and/or faded out early and sell then for like £8. I mean, who's got the time and/or money these days ya know?

the irregular underwear of music

or the box sets could be reliced and made to look like they were stolen from Target, missing 7 of the 8 LPs, liner notes have been encrusted with a true-to-life snot stain and "weed" crumbles. this would obviously make them more expensive, though, not less

Two chocolate bars that combine the top and bottom halves of a Snickers and a Double Decker. 'Dickers' = the peanuts & caramel top of the Snickers combined with the biscuit-crispy bottom of the Double Decker. So called because that's what you'll say when inevitably bits of it get stuck in/between your teeth/filling. 'Milky Why?' = the nougat half of both bars.

― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Wednesday, 15 July 2020 20:16 (four years ago)

I tried this out this afternoon and it is indeed a terrible idea. The 'Milky Why?' has an interesting flavour, being comprised of two different chocolates and two different nougats. But without the biscuit base of the Double Decker, that nougat almost has the texture of cheap bubblegum. I was left chewing for a while. The 'Dickers' manages to be even worse. I correctly predicted the dental hazard of this combination but the texture and flavour I didn't expect. It was like eating a piece of coarsely crumbling tarmac coated in chocolate, and there was a strong aftertaste of burnt caramel and peanuts.

I misread something last night as Da Vinci Donuts, then decided that a great name for a donut chain would be Masterpiece Donuts