Slap Chop: You're Gonna Love My Nuts

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µ^µ (libcrypt), Friday, 2 January 2009 03:05 (sixteen years ago)

stop having a boring tuna stop having a boring life

❤¯\㋡/¯❤ (ice cr?m), Friday, 2 January 2009 03:14 (sixteen years ago)

The little sparkly parts are the best.

µ^µ (libcrypt), Friday, 2 January 2009 03:20 (sixteen years ago)

there's a graty now?

Lingbert, Sunday, 4 January 2009 19:27 (sixteen years ago)

It's free with one slap chop.

graty80 (libcrypt), Sunday, 4 January 2009 19:29 (sixteen years ago)

z_s needs to gif 2:52--2:54 stat

HOOS GRAB IT INSTEENLY (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Sunday, 4 January 2009 19:30 (sixteen years ago)

amazing how he throws the bad chopper into the sink

8====D ------ ㋡ (max), Sunday, 4 January 2009 22:55 (sixteen years ago)

yeah i actually yelled "no fucking way" at my screen

HOOS GRAB IT INSTEENLY (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Sunday, 4 January 2009 23:22 (sixteen years ago)

You guys doubting Vince "One Take" Offer or some shit?

graty80 (libcrypt), Monday, 5 January 2009 01:06 (sixteen years ago)

nah thats what makes him so amazing dogg

stop HOOSing a boring tuna (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Monday, 5 January 2009 01:10 (sixteen years ago)

The funniest line came when he was talking about tearing up while chopping onions, “Life’s hard enough as it is, you don’t need to cry anymore.”

That was hilarious, but so true.

stop HOOSing a boring tuna (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 03:40 (sixteen years ago)

stop having a boring tuna stop having a boring life

― ❤¯\㋡/¯❤ (ice cr?m), Thursday, January 1, 2009 10:14 PM

this display name has the potential to be epically sexy (tehresa), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 03:44 (sixteen years ago)

i thought abt this thing while chopping an onion today - also i saw one of those lame ones that dont even open up and are impossible to clean at the supermarket and was all phhht

jihad¯\㋡/¯ (ice cr?m), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 03:45 (sixteen years ago)

i have a braun multiquick and i <3 that shit.

this display name has the potential to be epically sexy (tehresa), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 03:46 (sixteen years ago)

don't get to slap shit, tho

this display name has the potential to be epically sexy (tehresa), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 03:46 (sixteen years ago)

i really enjoy chopping things - i hav a food processor that i never use

jihad¯\㋡/¯ (ice cr?m), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 03:47 (sixteen years ago)

i need to sharpen my cutlery!

this display name has the potential to be epically sexy (tehresa), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 03:48 (sixteen years ago)

btw my status on all social networking sites as of this morning was stop having a boring tuna stop having a boring life

stop HOOSing a boring tuna (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 03:49 (sixteen years ago)

good advice v inspirational

jihad¯\㋡/¯ (ice cr?m), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 03:49 (sixteen years ago)

id have some pretty awesome japanese knives - id advise buying one good chefs knife if yr into chopping at all

jihad¯\㋡/¯ (ice cr?m), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 03:50 (sixteen years ago)

momrza gave me a sabatier a few years ago. it is nice. but needs sharpening.

this display name has the potential to be epically sexy (tehresa), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 03:53 (sixteen years ago)

does that knife sharpening truck ever come by yr place

jihad¯\㋡/¯ (ice cr?m), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 03:55 (sixteen years ago)

"tacos, fettucini, linguine, martini, bikini"

I think I need a little slap chop in my life.

Too Into Dancing to Argue (ENBB), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 04:00 (sixteen years ago)

what do we think about a knife sharpening party? could be awesome, could be deadly.

this display name has the potential to be epically sexy (tehresa), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 04:01 (sixteen years ago)

this commercial is like a guy who's trying so hard to be annoying and unlikeable but just cant help being interesting and likable.

♪㋡♫㋡ (gr8080), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 04:01 (sixteen years ago)

haha so otm. this guy also does infomercials for "shamwow" which is some kind of absorbent paper towel substitute, i gather? i love him.

horseshoe, Tuesday, 6 January 2009 04:04 (sixteen years ago)

booze and knife sharpening what could go wrong

jihad¯\㋡/¯ (ice cr?m), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 04:04 (sixteen years ago)

Shamwow is a sound-alike-ish for "chamois". Tempted to get both of these products actually.

graty80 (libcrypt), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 04:07 (sixteen years ago)

oh fuck i forgot about that; cant support shamwow since its a cheap rip-off of the product my uncle has spent his entire adult life marketing and selling :-\

♪㋡♫㋡ (gr8080), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 04:09 (sixteen years ago)

article abt this dude http://www.slate.com/id/2190658/pagenum/all

jihad¯\㋡/¯ (ice cr?m), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 04:09 (sixteen years ago)

From the wikipedia bit on Vince:

In 1999 Offer released the Underground Comedy Movie to scathing and extremely negative reviews. Lawrence Van Gelder of the New York Times described the movie as "a series of sketches built around subjects like masturbation, defecation, alienation, urination, necrophilia, voyeurism, casual brutality and mockery of the unfortunate." He added that Offer "makes the common mistake of equating the recognition of comic potential for comedy itself. For the successful, talent bridges the gap, but here it is absent."[1] DVDs of the film were marketed via television infomercial.

graty80 (libcrypt), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 04:10 (sixteen years ago)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/1d/VinceOffer.jpg

jihad¯\㋡/¯ (ice cr?m), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 04:17 (sixteen years ago)

motherfucker knows his strengths

stop HOOSing a boring tuna (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 04:33 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.ucmovie.com/wattsup/index.asp?cLoc=wattsup/trailer/quicktime.htm

jihad¯\㋡/¯ (ice cr?m), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 14:36 (sixteen years ago)

i'm smelling a vince vs billy mays poll

Help! We Have Strange Powers! (latebloomer), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 04:40 (sixteen years ago)

No, that's just the nuts.

graty80 (libcrypt), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 05:12 (sixteen years ago)

http://i454.photobucket.com/albums/qq261/CafenCalli/cats.jpg

gr8080, Saturday, 10 January 2009 00:08 (sixteen years ago)

"pop"

jordan s (J0rdan S.), Saturday, 10 January 2009 00:08 (sixteen years ago)

http://chuckpalahniuk.net/forum/1000026/stop-having-boring-tuna-stop-having-boring-life

roxymuzak, Monday, 12 January 2009 04:18 (sixteen years ago)

omfg

FUTURE HOOS: stronger better faster hooser (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Monday, 12 January 2009 04:36 (sixteen years ago)

I want to know where they found VINCE. He looks like a velociraptor and Ryan Seacrest all at once. Although he has triple the talent of both, obiesly.

FUTURE HOOS: stronger better faster hooser (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Monday, 12 January 2009 04:38 (sixteen years ago)

pretty otm tbh

roxymuzak, Monday, 12 January 2009 04:51 (sixteen years ago)

All i hear in thread title is Men's Wearhouse.

frontiersman's meat coaster (forksclovetofu), Monday, 12 January 2009 23:18 (sixteen years ago)

hahahah

wtf "finding HOOS" is a hood classic (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Monday, 12 January 2009 23:50 (sixteen years ago)

I had a beer with the Men's Wearhouse dude once!

I liked the way I looked doing it!

wtf "finding HOOS" is a hood classic (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Monday, 12 January 2009 23:51 (sixteen years ago)

tell us the story!!!

gr8080, Monday, 12 January 2009 23:54 (sixteen years ago)

Not super exciting.

My Dad is a meteorologist/weatherguy down in the border region where I was born & grew up. Every winter he does "Tim's Coats," a drive where people donate coats at the TV Station and they eventually end up handing them out to homeless shelters and colonias where the parents can't afford jackets for the family. We used to just do it out of the back of our van, but now it takes a U-Haul. Been doing it 15 years now I think. Anyway every few years they get some recognizable figure to come down and help out and promote the thing. We've had Good Morning America anchors and Peter Jennings showed up once and last year we had the Men's Wearhouse dude who, along with doing promo, donated a bunch of high-qual pea coats!! Total fuckin bro.

Anywho we were droppin dude off at the hotel and decided to hang at the bar and have a beer. Shot the shit about football and after a couple beers dude told me to find my dream and chase it and stiff arm anything that gets in the way.

wtf "finding HOOS" is a hood classic (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 13 January 2009 00:14 (sixteen years ago)

...then the two of us kicked a few homophobes out and bid eachother good evening.

gr8080, Tuesday, 13 January 2009 00:51 (sixteen years ago)

"We're going to make America skinny again, one slap at a time."

ichard Thompson (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 13 January 2009 00:54 (sixteen years ago)

after a couple beers dude told me to find my dream and chase it and stiff arm anything that gets in the way.

― wtf "finding HOOS" is a hood classic (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 13 January 2009 00:14 (40 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

And yet you still stopped fucking w/magic?

The boy with the Arab money (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Tuesday, 13 January 2009 00:56 (sixteen years ago)

;-]

find yr HOOS & steendrive anything in the way (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 13 January 2009 01:05 (sixteen years ago)

I am feeling this story.

find your dream with the men's wearhouse (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 13 January 2009 05:13 (sixteen years ago)

I want to know where they found VINCE. He looks like a velociraptor and Ryan Seacrest all at once. Although he has triple the talent of both, obiesly.

idk, depends on which velociraptor you're talking about

tired (latebloomer), Tuesday, 13 January 2009 06:01 (sixteen years ago)

Please, don't talk about any of them.

chuzzuck eddizy (libcrypt), Tuesday, 13 January 2009 06:09 (sixteen years ago)

"lata hata!"

http://www.bicycle.net/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/velociraptor-480.png

tired (latebloomer), Wednesday, 14 January 2009 04:32 (sixteen years ago)

XD

find yr HOOS & steendrive anything in the way (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Wednesday, 14 January 2009 06:11 (sixteen years ago)

slap chop

MIRV Griffin (goole), Saturday, 24 January 2009 19:54 (sixteen years ago)

gah wtf why did it post that

MIRV Griffin (goole), Saturday, 24 January 2009 19:56 (sixteen years ago)

i didn't know it did that! i didn't know we had a thread! i didn't know this existed! i'm so happy right now!

MIRV Griffin (goole), Saturday, 24 January 2009 19:56 (sixteen years ago)

dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gr8080, Sunday, 25 January 2009 02:40 (sixteen years ago)

pops open like a buttafly to clean

bats in a kayak! (latebloomer), Sunday, 25 January 2009 06:53 (sixteen years ago)

two months pass...

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0327092sham1.html

WHO DEY and the blowfish (roxymuzak), Saturday, 28 March 2009 02:31 (sixteen years ago)

RIP

20 HOOS poppin steens on kawasakis (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Saturday, 28 March 2009 02:36 (sixteen years ago)

Didn't realize that the dude was Israeli.

Comprehensive Nuclear Suggest-Ban Treaty (Hurting 2), Saturday, 28 March 2009 14:42 (sixteen years ago)

"Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons,"

altered prostates (latebloomer), Saturday, 28 March 2009 14:47 (sixteen years ago)

nuts not loved

ice cr?m, Saturday, 28 March 2009 14:57 (sixteen years ago)

to find my dream and chase it and stiff arm anything that gets in the way

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

johnny crunch, Saturday, 28 March 2009 15:38 (sixteen years ago)

thousand bucks for that?

continuous flow crustastunna (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 28 March 2009 16:34 (sixteen years ago)

i was gonna bump this yesterday to say that someone donated a slap chop to the shelter i work at, which would have been a much happier revive :/

WHO DEY and the blowfish (roxymuzak), Saturday, 28 March 2009 20:23 (sixteen years ago)

one month passes...

http://i369.photobucket.com/albums/oo135/Sylyom/flashingvinceoffer.gif

Long, helmet-defying hair (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 30 April 2009 21:37 (sixteen years ago)

two months pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWRyj5cHIQA

internet message board terminal-boredom. (PappaWheelie V), Friday, 24 July 2009 00:47 (sixteen years ago)

SWAG CHOP
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CztvSpKdCeY

im a fucking unicorn you douchebags (forksclovetofu), Friday, 24 July 2009 03:24 (sixteen years ago)

we have a cd in the kitchen i work in with slap chop remix on it and nothing else, true story

don't try to church it up (nickalicious), Friday, 24 July 2009 20:03 (sixteen years ago)

nobody recognizes the handwriting on it

don't try to church it up (nickalicious), Friday, 24 July 2009 20:04 (sixteen years ago)

the music has haunted me all day.

im a fucking unicorn you douchebags (forksclovetofu), Friday, 24 July 2009 20:09 (sixteen years ago)

o god i'm going to go running with slap chop aren't i

im a fucking unicorn you douchebags (forksclovetofu), Friday, 24 July 2009 20:10 (sixteen years ago)

five months pass...

i got a magic bullet for xmas and i had to stop myself from saying, "man, it's not a slap chop!" out loud.

tehresa, Saturday, 26 December 2009 05:11 (fifteen years ago)

Thought you meant a silver bullet for a second and thought, wow that's an odd gift from the rents. BTW I have a slap chop and think I've come to terms with the fact that it sucks. The GRATY cheese grater it came with is also crap.

★彡☆ ★彡 (ENBB), Saturday, 26 December 2009 11:41 (fifteen years ago)

I was also wondering why tza's folks got her a vibrator. Wtf is a magic bullet?

forks©lovetofu (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 26 December 2009 21:36 (fifteen years ago)

Glad I wasn't the only one.

★彡☆ ★彡 (ENBB), Saturday, 26 December 2009 22:28 (fifteen years ago)

i actually asked for a blender but my sister's friend who got me in secret santa gave me the bullet. it is also an 'as seen on tv' product, similar to a slap chop.

my sister's husband gave her a massager called 'the spot' and it came in a pink box and everyone was like uhhhhhh....

tehresa, Saturday, 26 December 2009 22:31 (fifteen years ago)

lol.

And now my dick is where? Oh, this is too rich (the table is the table), Sunday, 27 December 2009 01:15 (fifteen years ago)

also hoos i want some youtubage of your pops, like asap. i'm sure he's the best weatherman ever.

And now my dick is where? Oh, this is too rich (the table is the table), Sunday, 27 December 2009 01:16 (fifteen years ago)

bigger hoos aka the stormdriver

livinginthesunlightlovinginthemoonlighthavingawonderfultime (Curt1s Stephens), Sunday, 27 December 2009 01:17 (fifteen years ago)

tza did they buy it from my store?

ea™e (latebloomer), Sunday, 27 December 2009 01:34 (fifteen years ago)

latebloomer please tell me you work at Spencer's gifts of something of that ilk.

★彡☆ ★彡 (ENBB), Sunday, 27 December 2009 02:10 (fifteen years ago)

the as seen on tv store iirc!

S.E., we runnin' this FAP shit (roxymuzak), Sunday, 27 December 2009 02:16 (fifteen years ago)

Ha that's almost better. LB can you score me a deal on those detox food pad things? I have always been v curious.

★彡☆ ★彡 (ENBB), Sunday, 27 December 2009 02:17 (fifteen years ago)

enbb, those detox foot pad things just pick up dead skin and dirt from your feet.

And now my dick is where? Oh, this is too rich (the table is the table), Sunday, 27 December 2009 02:19 (fifteen years ago)

as in, they clean your feet.

And now my dick is where? Oh, this is too rich (the table is the table), Sunday, 27 December 2009 02:19 (fifteen years ago)

SHHHHHHHH! I much prefer to belive in their magical ability to forcefully pull the "toxins" from my body. Don't ruin my as seen on tv fun, dude. ;-)

★彡☆ ★彡 (ENBB), Sunday, 27 December 2009 02:21 (fifteen years ago)

tiny, flea-sized angels with fangs made of pumice. they nibble at the skin on the soles of your feet and excrete health.

rudolph the LED-nosed reindeer (unregistered), Sunday, 27 December 2009 02:32 (fifteen years ago)

YES.

★彡☆ ★彡 (ENBB), Sunday, 27 December 2009 02:33 (fifteen years ago)

ugh that actually doesn't sound too far from the truth of a fish pedicure

=皿= (dyao), Sunday, 27 December 2009 03:20 (fifteen years ago)

what in holy hell...

rudolph the LED-nosed reindeer (unregistered), Sunday, 27 December 2009 03:27 (fifteen years ago)

most disgusting savages amirite

autogoon collective (The Reverend), Sunday, 27 December 2009 03:47 (fifteen years ago)

fish pedicure is awesome, EAT OF MY BODY YE LIL FISHIES AND BE HEALED

forks©lovetofu (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 27 December 2009 04:11 (fifteen years ago)

LB I think he got it in dc not at yr store

tehresa, Sunday, 27 December 2009 04:14 (fifteen years ago)

Lol someone just told me billy mays' son was coming to gville today but his flight got canceled.

tehresa, Sunday, 27 December 2009 04:15 (fifteen years ago)

at xmas my brother pointed out that my sister's fiancee looks identical to billy mays. he is correct.

S.E., we runnin' this FAP shit (roxymuzak), Sunday, 27 December 2009 04:31 (fifteen years ago)

Unregistered, there are some ppl who pay some fish to eat their feet:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JPCHJS92fc&feature=related

★彡☆ ★彡 (ENBB), Sunday, 27 December 2009 04:57 (fifteen years ago)


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