having a yard sale in knoxville with my sis and keeping track of "customers" itt

we had two old geezers come by in overalls and one of them said to the other "what the hell are you gonna do with a microphone?"

a hispanic lady who didn't speak english gestured that she wanted a tacky Roca-Wear purse that was gold and white and threw more than asking price in cash at me. she had to have that ugly bag!!

a boring church lady that lives next door to my sister just came and dropped off a box of dumb romance novels to donate to our yard sale. nobody is gonna buy that shit and so basically she gave us a chore.

two redneck construction worker dudes stopped by and the one in a camo doo-rag bought a brass potpourri holding shell (?) that my mom donated to the yard sale. not what i pictured him buying.

another construction type dude just came and voiced interest in my camping chairs. he is now just sitting in one and perhaps staying the rest of the day.

dude above is now passing out "TOM'S HOME REPAIR & INSULATION & WEATHERATION" business cards to everyone at the sale. should we charge him an advertising fee? rent on the camp chair he won't remove his ass from?

weatheration is not a word iirc

Have you mentioned this to him? Or has he left the seat?

he bought his seat, tbh

we are drinking booze on the porch watching crazy people go through our garbage, basically

a four year old boy who bought a simpson's uno deck told me he loved me

Hahaha, that's so great!

a semi-retarded republican political activist in the neighborhood bought a tiny antique book called "speeches and words by george washington". he pointed out that inside it someone had handwritten in pencil "speeches and words of george washington is the worst thing to ever read"

a dude we are calling "pops" just drove all over my sis's yard in a jazzy wheel chair saying things like "my eardrums are shot. everything is shot. hell, i'm shot." - he bought some antique books fyi

so are mental ppl just drawn to u r?

there is a mental sort of housing place a few blocks from here and they all walk around like zombies during the day.

the weatheration dude's last name was harris but how he pronounced it made it sounds like hurst

I would now like to have a yard sale.

we are done. are yard sales crazy everywhere else in the world?

i am now exhausted but $100 richer and many boxes of garbage lighter. and sort of drunk.

we are done. are yard sales crazy everywhere else in the world?

pretty much...

nah, it's just that Roxy and Nijoli live in an alternate reality where townspeople are "entertaining" and have "personalities". the rest of us have to settle for stroking our chins and lolling at their anecdotes.

*strokes chin*

*laughs out loud @ "speeches and words of george washington is the worst thing to ever read"*

the yardsale was with my other sister. not roxy. but she does live in the same alternate reality called Knoxville, Tn

the highlight of my day remains to be "pops" doing doughnuts in my sister's yard in his jazzy chair because he bought six very very miniature red vinyl antique books.

your yard sales are off the chain!

'speeches and words of george washington is the worst thing to ever read' = classic advice

I feel like the alternate reality of knoxville is not too far removed from the alternate reality of south jersey. I have definitely seen all of these characters at flea markets round here.

nij yr knoxville adventures make me want to come visit the place tbh!

i think that these types of characters are often overlooked and under-appreciated for their value in our culture.

'speeches and words of george washington is the worst thing to ever read' = classic advice

― ian, Sunday, May 16, 2010 1:20 AM (10 hours ago)

it was scrawled in old man handwriting and looked as if it took several painful minutes to pencil into the book.

someone wrote it on their deathbed as a warning to others to stay away from this life-sucking tome

ACTUAL LOL

"tome" is excessive.
it's a mini-book that is maybe 3 inches tall and 2 inches wide.

life-sucking leaflet, tbrrwu

I saw Tom of "TOM'S HOME REPAIR & INSULATION & WEATHERATION" fame at the gas station this afternoon.