tonight i shall watch the uk vs us soccer game with my boyfriend's father

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I have never met him or his wife before. He is some kind of soccer expert and ex-coach. He is an old Jewish dude who used to play in rock bands and be liberal, but is now conservative. How shall I impress him? I have not followed soccer for 10 years.

Regards,
Emily

...Funtown. (roxymuzak), Saturday, 12 June 2010 16:28 (fourteen years ago)

Please do not tell me to call it "football." That is faggish.

Regards,
Emily

...Funtown. (roxymuzak), Saturday, 12 June 2010 16:28 (fourteen years ago)

Whenever the ball gets near either of the team's goals, shout "Offside!".

Fat Dog Franklin (snoball), Saturday, 12 June 2010 16:30 (fourteen years ago)

That could be a risky strategy, suggest you just hiss "play it to feet" everytime the US screw up a pass, or you can always yell an exasperated "JEEZUS referee" any time he gives a free kick.

Katamari Desailly (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 12 June 2010 16:47 (fourteen years ago)

Also if Lampard is on the ball you can barrack him about being a fat waste of space who's never performed on the big stage.

Katamari Desailly (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 12 June 2010 16:49 (fourteen years ago)

Speaking of "fat waste of space", James Corden is on ITV1 immediately afterwards...

Fat Dog Franklin (snoball), Saturday, 12 June 2010 17:03 (fourteen years ago)

As far as I can work out, watching football involves a lot of shouting "hoof it to the big lad" but I appreciate that this may be a slightly unamerican turn of phrase.

atoms breaking heart (a passing spacecadet), Saturday, 12 June 2010 17:11 (fourteen years ago)

Tip: lager is the only acceptable beverage for watching football.

Fat Dog Franklin (snoball), Saturday, 12 June 2010 17:12 (fourteen years ago)

we will be drinking the bull and eating steaks. we are americans.

...Funtown. (roxymuzak), Saturday, 12 June 2010 17:38 (fourteen years ago)

He is an old Jewish dude who used to play in rock bands

so was he caught up in some Matisyahu shit, or...?

if you see her, say ayo (unregistered), Saturday, 12 June 2010 18:29 (fourteen years ago)

after a nice pass, murmur "thoughtful ball"

mookieproof, Saturday, 12 June 2010 18:32 (fourteen years ago)

You could have said "offside" right there!

Fat Dog Franklin (snoball), Saturday, 12 June 2010 18:33 (fourteen years ago)

yes a jewish person who has been in a rock band is obviously making music similar to matisyahu, especially in the 70s

...Funtown. (roxymuzak), Saturday, 12 June 2010 18:36 (fourteen years ago)

Presumably you're not watching this live as he'd have kicked the TV in now...

Fat Dog Franklin (snoball), Saturday, 12 June 2010 18:37 (fourteen years ago)

ask why the usa is dressed like school crossing guards

mookieproof, Saturday, 12 June 2010 18:37 (fourteen years ago)

^first advice i will be taking

we are watching a tivo'd game in 2 hours

...Funtown. (roxymuzak), Saturday, 12 June 2010 18:39 (fourteen years ago)

xxxpost - obviously!

if you see her, say ayo (unregistered), Saturday, 12 June 2010 19:26 (fourteen years ago)

He is an old Jewish dude who used to play in rock bands

so was he caught up in some Matisyahu shit, or...?

― if you see her, say ayo (unregistered), Saturday, 12 June 2010 19:29 (1 hour ago)

srsly wtf post

nakhchivan, Saturday, 12 June 2010 19:38 (fourteen years ago)

is he art garfunkel

harbl, Saturday, 12 June 2010 19:51 (fourteen years ago)

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2010/Jun/Week2/15648040.jpg

Krystal Chic (crüt), Saturday, 12 June 2010 19:57 (fourteen years ago)

he loves me

...Funtown. (roxymuzak), Sunday, 13 June 2010 07:27 (fourteen years ago)

he asked me if i used to play soccer

...Funtown. (roxymuzak), Sunday, 13 June 2010 07:27 (fourteen years ago)

Possibly he loves Rob Green even more?

Fat Dog Franklin (snoball), Sunday, 13 June 2010 08:07 (fourteen years ago)

he said it was the first time he's ever rooted against england

he was awesome and gave us the thumbs up as we drove away

...Funtown. (roxymuzak), Sunday, 13 June 2010 15:52 (fourteen years ago)


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