BURT_STANTON, CULTURAL CRITIC

Burt Stanton vs Snrub: battle of the valuable ILX posters named after mildly funny one-time Simpsons gags.

yeah this guy is great

out trolled by miccio in that vampire weekend thread but good work nonetheless

new york is so uncool. im' totally moving to berlidelphia, maryland

-- burt_stanton, Monday, January 28, 2008 4:46 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

he works for AT&T

at what point did grind core and black metal become the hipster music du jour?

People don't really go to dance clubs here like they would in the UK or the EU (it's pretty 90s), so I don't think that comparison is possible. I just remember hearing a lot of that mash up / turntablism shit on the radio 1999-2001.

-- burt_stanton, Friday, 1 February 2008 21:47 (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

that's it, I'm voting for Nader

-- burt_stanton, Friday, February 1, 2008 12:06 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

shit just coming here to post --

^^^ haha, what? Mash ups have been in the US for decades; see: Negativland and those filthy 60s beatniks; they got big again here in the late 90s/early 200s. So yeah, the style seems pretty dated.

-- burt_stanton, Friday, February 1, 2008 4:34 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

Burt Stanton vs Snrub: battle of the valuable ILX posters named after mildly funny one-time Simpsons gags.

-- Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 19:22 (3 days ago) Link

i thought it was a children of the corn ref

8)

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/5182J6S527L._SS500_.jpg

i'm often outrageous, but always a delight? we'll let history decide that.

this guy

If you can handle the edginess, head east and KGB Bar on West 4th has small press readings at night if you're into that thing.

-- burt_stanton, Friday, February 1, 2008 5:52 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

burt_stanton: can u handle the edginess?

i can't

I love when people in the Northern suburbs (including the suburbs basically 5 miles outside of NYC) wave the Confederate flag around. They probably just mean it to be racist idiots, but it's funny that they forget ... those dudes wanted them (as part of the North) dead black or white.

-- burt_stanton, Sunday, February 3, 2008 5:23 PM (56 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://imomus.livejournal.com/350070.html Check it out, boyz. My insane ravings got a link on the latest Momus blog post! !! obhy hboy!

i thought you were banned

anyway you are now

Not really - Crown Heights is where that huge riot took place between the black dudes and Chasids (remember that?). When people say Crown Heights they usually mean the black folk. That is, if you're actually from here

-- burt_stanton, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 7:42 PM (2 months ago) Bookmark Link

haha you know upthread I had TOTALLY FORGOTTEN that stanton is a dumb boring fuck who goes on threads that hold no interest for him (nascar, pit bulls) and just posts badly mistyped macho one-liners full of curse words in some kind of redneck caricature

mainly because I deleted his two posts to the nascar thread without even thinking about it

still mostly harmless though

http://home.in.tum.de/~creighto/dna/pix/Smiley.jpg

xpost thats why this thread isnt called "burt_stanton is ruining ILX" its basically just a handy overview of good ol' burt's smartest and most cutting opinions

counterpoint: crime rules

-- burt_stanton, Monday, February 11, 2008 4:48 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

i think i was almost as bad as this guy when i started. Now I'm only like half as bad.

i still cringe at my own posts. even my recent ones.

Oh man, tell me about it.

b to the u to the r to the t
It's easy as one, two, three
Yes, it's the burt stanton
Rough like a ninja, stinging like a bee

Back by public demand
You're now rockin' with a one man band
Go with the flow, moves you know
Jam the nightclub, rock the disco

Closer is a fucking depressing album. I never got why so many people in the early 2000s wore Closer t-shirts

-- burt_stanton, Wednesday, February 20, 2008 3:56 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Link

::)

This movie made me shit blood. I think we can all find comfort in that this movie probably marks the end to this decade's obsession with IrOniC PoP CuLTURE rEfRenCEs and CoOl INDie Rock ... it's like one movie can represent an entire decade's worth of culture jumping the shark.

As in, all the "2 cool 4 u" types are going to try as hard as humanly possible not to resemble anything like what this movie depicted.

-- burt_stanton, Thursday, February 21, 2008 9:10 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

IrOniC PoP CuLTURE rEfRenCEs and CoOl INDie Rock

luda

saturdaynight dead

-- burt_stanton, Sunday, February 24, 2008 11:35 AM (44 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

it's a play on words.

Running the words together enhances the joke by displaying his blase attitude.

he just thinks saturdaynight is one word

Billyburg, trucker cap, skinny jeans,The Strokes, PBR, Union Pool, Sparks, vegan, free-range tofu, "originally from Boston", Vassar, SVA, Pratt, Barnard, Oberlin, Sarah Lawrence, Greenpoint, Bushwick, and the "other" other hoods, X of the word "iron", "art loft", X = the ,urg, ther hoothStrts (non-Western), booth" otcap, skinny jeans,The Strokes, PBR, Union Pookes, = the new Williamsburg (aka Billyburg), offensol, Sparks, dively incorrect usePirBR, Union Poarks, diveat shoes Billybs, X = the nrucker vegtofu Greenpoint, Bushwick, w L train, trust funds, track bikest use, plaid shol, Sp, "origand ew Williamsburg (aka sively incorrec of the worad n", "art loft", X = tneinally from Boston", Vassar, SVA, Pratt, Barnarde "other" Billyburg), offenotcaerp, skinny jeans,The an, "irofree-rnge , Oberlin, Sarah Lawrencehe new L train, trust funds, track bikes, plaid shirts (non-Western), boat shoes

-- burt_stanton, Sunday, March 16, 2008 7:33 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i like this post because its like burt_stanton.bot broke and is spewing out all the gobbledegook about hipsters that was programmed into him by his evil master

yeah it was like the part in wargames where the computer plays itself over and over again and goes faster and faster. "It's learning."

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d3/BillyJoel_Fire.JPG

apparently

i dont remember that part in wargames

Billy Joel: We Didn't Start the Fire, Apparently.

It's at the end where they're trying to stop the nuclear war and they make the computer play itself over and over again to see that it's always a draw.

i dont remember that part in wargames

BANNED

Unfortunately, the climate these days is very much ... non-literate. The best creative minds spend all their time in visual media, and a lot of the people who write get way too caught up into the MFA/workshop cult. The lit. that tends to get a lot of attention is really, really middling... and unfortunately young writers gravitate towards what gets the most exposure, and so imitate drek like Eggers, etc.

So, once being a professional writer myself, after doing my regular work, and you write your personal stuff, it's like ... "where is this going to go?"

-- burt_stanton, Saturday, March 22, 2008 4:34 PM (42 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

It's not really hate, nuts. It's more like ratings. E.g., the boning someone thread rates 7/10 on the Maxim scale but about 2/10 on the clever troll scale. You know that there's a column in the .XLS for this, rite?

He could be an American C-Man, given time.

yeah lib i know all about .xls

and i do get yr point, that's why i like him.

Not to get all tuomas, but I think I've been confused for a while on what "troll" really means. I thought a troll had to be someone who was taking the piss on some level. Stanton just sounds like a bitter dude.

Not so much taking the piss but dropping CHALLENGING OPINIONS or whatever in the hopes of chafing a few bottoms. Bitter? I dun think so.

yeah he's not a troll per se but he's also a troll in his own special way

hurting he trolled hte fuck out of the vampire weekend thread which was like the first time he appeared on ilx so he's got some work to do

hurting thats kinda exactly the point, he's either a truly pathetic troll or a bitter youth, which is why he's cool w/ me either way

Ah, he's medium-grade troll, just not ILX-quality. The criticisms here should be understood as constructive.

i'm totally serious about burt stanton book of wisdom

or at least an advice column

you dumbasses

the thread isnt called "burt_stanton, troll"

1/10.

tell me4 the latest big indie band so I know who to hate early and then come to appreciate a year after people have moved on

-- burt_stanton, Friday, January 11, 2008 7:22 AM (3 months ago) Bookmark Link

hes pretty otm re air america/npr tho

the issues here on display are the symptoms concerning the condition Genration Y in the Anglosphere.

Trolls should try to specialize.

counterpoint: crime rules

-- burt_stanton, Monday, February 11, 2008 4:48 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

-- latebloomer, Monday, February 11, 2008 6:17 AM (2 months ago) Bookmark Link

^^this is pretty fucking funny (mostly due to lb for pointing it out here)

i think j0rdan s is mostly right here; guy wants to rile ppl up but is really bad at it & isnt here just to rile ppl up anyway

I don't want to break character or anything, but I don't really troll that much. Most of what I say are jokes based on language, form, cliches, expectations, etc. If I'm reading Edward Dahlberg or Yukio Mishima or some shit, I'll create a thread in that voice. Some things are sincere, though.

Also I've never even listened to Vampire Weekend; I heard about 20 seconds of A Punk played on WFUV. I just wanted to be a part of something; in that case, a backlash.

i gotta admit, you're totally growing on me, man

Also I've never even listened to Vampire Weekend; I heard about 20 seconds of A Punk played on WFUV. I just wanted to be a part of something;

:D

If I'm reading Edward Dahlberg or Yukio Mishima or some shit, I'll create a thread in that voice.

It's like that behind masks 1, 2, and 3, there's a super-secret lifelike-latex mask numero 4 undetected by our heroes' infrared detectometers. +2 points for burt_stanton unplugged hi-quality trawling.

thanking u for the parse

Don't thank me. Thank Deleuze and Guattari.

i just want to point out AGAIN that this thread is named "BURT_STANTON, CULTURAL CRITIC" for a REASON

I can always edit the title to be "libcrypt bitch hq"

youll never be able to edit my memories

or my heart

the issue of language, culture, and brain chemistry is multi-faceted and under-explored. Somebody should get on that one.

-- burt_stanton, Thursday, April 17, 2008 10:42 AM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

icy hot stanton

Oh for changable usernames.

I gotta admit, you're totally growing on me, man

Yeah me too. A unique posting style/personality is emerging from the stew.

spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest, like lite jazz FM kinda junk. I likes me some Austin post-rock, but I don't get why people bug out about that album.

-- bart_stanberg, Friday, 18 April 2008 20:28 (Yesterday) Link

I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock I likes me some Austin post-rock

has anyone invited burt to 77

i gotta admit, you're totally growing on me, man

-- latebloomer, Sunday, April 13, 2008 6:07 AM (6 days ago) Bookmark Link

Yeah me too. A unique posting style/personality is emerging from the stew.

-- felicity, Thursday, April 17, 2008 11:26 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Link

2x ban

burt im willing to admit to being confounded by you cuz no one on ilx as far as i know has said "hey this guy is chaki!" or something, so ill again repeat that a)"you are on your own" is not good advice, & b)if you are trolling, no one on ilx actually cares but me, which is v sad xp

-- deeznuts, Sunday, April 20, 2008 11:40 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

lol'd @ this

hahaha

i'm not very good at internet

-- burt_stanton, Monday, April 21, 2008 9:19 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j251/mzing12/chadjohnsown.jpg

http://www.chromewaves.net/images/interface/20061205explosionsInTheSky.jpg

http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B000BCKFIY.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

ban 4 all time, fuck this dumbass

http://img355.imageshack.us/img355/3425/cueweddingsongns1.jpg

http://www.austinchronicle.com/binary/eb61/music_feature2.jpg

http://www.imposemagazine.com/photos/2007/08/1austin.jpg

spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock

spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock spirit of eden is a ZzZzZ fest I likes me some Austin post-rock

Sorry Colonel Poo, it doesn't quite cut it. The UK isn't a country, obviously, it's a union; it'd be like if the US formed some kind-of North American pact with Canada and Mexico. The only comparison you can accurately make is US and England since they're both single countries. The metro area of New York and LA is basically the entire population of England, and the US has 400x the land mass, all settled by different cultural groups pretty recently. Genetic drift occurs when populations get separated over long distances; so cultural drift occurs similarly. Doesn't happen in a country it takes about 2 hours to traverse.

-- burt_stanton, Tuesday, 29 April 2008 03:10 (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link