Boncers

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Went out last night, started off fine, over mates house couple of cans and a blog around some funny stuff on the net... Then to the pub, couple of J's on the way.. Few drinks in the pub and a chat (occationally distracted by a perverted mirror on the ceiling)... Then last orders, Time etc. So over the road where some thick bouncers can't distinguish the difference between 17 and 24.. So down the road to BomBorrarraarrararaaaa, got in fine.. BiG JuG of ALKOKIC... Mmmmm...
[this is the moment, the exact moment, it got DARK]
One of the bar staff came over and started clearing up broken glass behind me (don't know how it got there but he seemed pissed off with me) ..... While later ..... Went to the bar for a Smirnfo... Was told the bar is closed, so went back and sat down, watched people going to the bar and being served?? Suddenly felt like i was being watched... black jackets closing in... trying not to be associated with anyone.. one of the bonsers told me it was time to leave... said ok and walked over to a friend pretending to say goodbye, he passed me a drink and i took it to the toilet... had my own private room a drink a seat and a place of rest.. sat and drank my smirnoff, one of the jackets knocking on the door.....

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK....
'who me?'
'Yeah you time to go'
'give me a minute, on the toilet...'

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK....
'I'm squeezing one out, YOU keep distracting me...'
'don't be a twat, mate'
Fake groan...

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK....
this time was more aggressive....
something like 'you blah blah blah fuck blah blah blah twat...'

Finnished my ice, loads of paper down toilet, flush, opened the door, two or three bouncers in the que for the crapper... looked up. One grabbed my arm started to walk me to the door...
'you can at least let me wash my hands'
he did

Put my nice wet hands under crap hand dryer and stood there...
'cummon mate don't prat about'
'look my hands are wet' showed him my shiny hands...
'why you chucking me out anyway? Deserve an explaination don't I?'
'you know, don't insult my intelligence...'
'no why?'
'you were told no more drinks then i saw you with a beer'
'no I wasn't, she lied to me told me the bar was closed... I assumed it had been re-opened.'
'oh and your intelligence isn't much, because it was a smirnoff ice not a beer!'

[he looked like he might punch me] ...so i started to walk out.

Towards the door, then i slowed down (just for kicks) so was manhandled and shoved out of the door.. you gotta do it right havn't you!

oh.. then they chucked my mate out, the wrong one, but they chucked him out...
why are bouncers ARSEHOLE FUCKER MOTHER CUNTS??

― Ballie Krishna (Ballie Krishna), Saturday, 11 March 2006 12:15 (nineteen years ago)

i'm glad one of us remembers.
I think i'm still under the influence of that big jug of jokes.
woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooops

― satan (dog), Saturday, 11 March 2006 13:16 (nineteen years ago)

also, what time did we get in last night?
did I buy a kebab?
and how long did we sit in Toms summer house trying to get that cd player working?
and did we walk lizzard home or did she get scared and make her own way there?

― dog (dog), Saturday, 11 March 2006 13:27 (nineteen years ago)

ooo ja das is richtig
ich bin remembered, das is reminding me of une hund das done drunken
ja, es is similar to mien hunden which got chopped in zwei parts by ein train wagen.
ja

― dog (dog), Saturday, 11 March 2006 13:29 (nineteen years ago)

fuckers kicked me out to, just because i was your mate barry. stupif cunts.

― dog latin (dog latin), Saturday, 11 March 2006 14:03 (nineteen years ago)

When we left Toms I think i had two and a half hours before i had to get up at half five.. someone said that, i think, didn't remember, well. ummm.... no most of what i remember i wrote down, i forgot the summer house... and lizzard must have gone home or stayed in bouncebora... ?

― Ballie Krishna (Ballie Krishna), Saturday, 11 March 2006 14:22 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah.. CUNTS... sorry! - they kicked me out just for being me!

― Ballie Krishna (Ballie Krishna), Saturday, 11 March 2006 14:23 (nineteen years ago)

Ps Knife are cool...

― Ballie Krishna (Ballie Krishna), Saturday, 11 March 2006 14:26 (nineteen years ago)

glad you're digging the knife. they're my new favourite band, and everyone on I Love Music are talking about them. Did you hear Heartbeats? The "Silent Shout" album is even better in a scary housey kinda way.

― dog latin (dog latin), Saturday, 11 March 2006 19:24 (nineteen years ago)

yeah, got both albums, i was suprised how different the Jose track is

― Ballie Krishna (Ballie Krishna), Saturday, 11 March 2006 19:40 (nineteen years ago)

very different. it's weird that the knife made it before jose.

― dog latin (dog latin), Saturday, 11 March 2006 19:49 (nineteen years ago)

u going to celeste's party tonight bareth?

― dog latin (dog latin), Saturday, 11 March 2006 19:49 (nineteen years ago)

no, i didn't know about it, need a night off anyway, my head's still dull...

― Ballie Krishna (Ballie Krishna), Saturday, 11 March 2006 19:58 (nineteen years ago)

Last night after Celeste's party I went to retrieve my bike as I'd locked it next to Hitchin swimmming pool. Some inhuman cunt had been at it and now the wheels all buckled, the cables look like they've been "gnawed" and a big chunk's been taken out the saddle.

What a bunch of BASTARDS!

― dog latin (dog latin), Sunday, 12 March 2006 14:58 (nineteen years ago)

sounds like ANIMALS..

― Ballie Krishna (Ballie Krishna), Sunday, 12 March 2006 15:11 (nineteen years ago)

only a grizzly bear could have fucked it up like that. the fuckers had tried to lever off the lock (like one would if it were a D-lock if one were deviantly inclinded) but this is a fucking hardcore flexible lock so i don't know why they even bothered.

― dog latin (dog latin), Sunday, 12 March 2006 15:34 (nineteen years ago)

fuckers, i hate fuckers...

― Ballie Krishna (Ballie Krishna), Sunday, 12 March 2006 16:15 (nineteen years ago)

shit man, sorry to hear that. Fucking downers man.
What a bunch of basts.

― sates (dog), Sunday, 12 March 2006 16:21 (nineteen years ago)

what you up to today dudes?

i'm sort of in the mood for not doing anything at all, but i'm also thinking it's my last day of freedom before the back-to-work grind. lemme know if you're up for doing owt.

― dog latin (dog latin), Sunday, 12 March 2006 16:38 (nineteen years ago)

no freedom for me...

― Ballie Krishna (Ballie Krishna), Sunday, 12 March 2006 16:45 (nineteen years ago)

dunno mate, might watch a film, cycle round if you want.
Just kidding.
Arrrg i'm a bast.

― satan (dog), Sunday, 12 March 2006 17:02 (nineteen years ago)

huh?

you're welcome round here if you like. i'm toying with the idea of digging out donnie darko and watching it again again.

― dog latin (dog latin), Sunday, 12 March 2006 17:53 (nineteen years ago)

Huh? A happy bear ate Wogan's bike?!

― Tev', Monday, 13 March 2006 10:16 (nineteen years ago)

BONCE!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.philocrites.com/archives/bouncer.jpg

― tev, Monday, 13 March 2006 10:19 (nineteen years ago)

can you get drunk with holy water?
must try..

― Ballie Krishna (Ballie Krishna), Monday, 13 March 2006 10:54 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah I think so. You have to get Jeez to switch it to wine first though.

― tev, Monday, 13 March 2006 11:12 (nineteen years ago)

Ahh, but thats ok he owes me a favour...

― Ballie Krishna (Ballie Krishna), Monday, 13 March 2006 11:15 (nineteen years ago)

three months pass...

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― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 11:12 (eighteen years ago)

Ah man, not ringtones again!

Spose I'll have to post the shaved plot again....

― Teeeeeeeeev, Wednesday, 5 July 2006 12:03 (eighteen years ago)

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― Helen's Dad, Wednesday, 5 July 2006 12:15 (eighteen years ago)

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― wogan lenin (dog latin), Friday, 14 July 2006 09:40 (eighteen years ago)

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― wogan lenin (dog latin), Friday, 28 July 2006 07:51 (eighteen years ago)

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