killer clocko's infamous list...

razorlight - where to begin? its a tough question. cos there's nothing thats right about them. the music is the worst type of drivel. it has no balls, no heart, no life, no meaning, no point, leaves no impression except for extreme distaste. the worst part is that they think they're great and are making a huge impression on musical history. well they're not. cos there is nothing, not one little thing of their music that inspires anything other the desire to forget about them as quickly as possible. total and utter shite.

george lucas - i can't imagine what he must have been thinking. he makes a good film (not great, just good) follows it with a better one, then makes a third one which is a blatant attempt at making money via merchandise, but its still not bad.

about 20 years later, poor george isn't making good films anymore, nor making money either, so he thinks he'll make some more of those other good ones that did so well.

and he fucks it all up, big time, making 3 utter pieces of poo, devoid of any of the things that made the first 3 respectable, no decent script, no decent actors, some of the worst directing ever seen, and special effects that nearly made me cry when i saw them.

what the hell was he thinking? in a word, money. what am i thinking? he's on the list.

hard fi - working for the cash machine is it boys? nah, you can work for me now.

hasn't the lead singer got a pretty face? is that why they sell so many albums? maybe its cos of the adverts during every break on tv? maybe its cos deaf people really like it? cos other than those reasons, it makes no sense to me.

a bunch of vain, no talent, heartless twats, making music that has absolutely nothing to it whatsoever, other than offering raging annoyance and complete contempt for anyone in earshot.

this has already proved contentious in the office, so i sat down for a second and thought about it, then i imagined his smug flat face, and total inability to tell a joke.

jimmy carr

he's so very very slow. his jokes arrive light years after the punch line is due, his quick wit, which takes most comedians a split second, takes him at least 5, if not more. its boring, not funny. i feel quite sorry for him as a comedian, but not that sorry. he's on the list.

jesus christ

now an awful lot of people hold a great deal of opinion against this supposed human being. but i feel i'm more than qualified (having militant christian parents and a god army upbringing) to add him to my list.

i can't deny he existed, all major historians of the time wrote about him, but to call him the son of god (that defo doesn't exist) and that he came to save us, is so absurd that it requires absolutely no common sense at all to believe in it.

the fact that so many people all over the world still hold any level of creditibility towards him, despite his story being the single most flawed, unbelievable, bullshit tale of all time, makes me feel genuinely sorry and upset. do i believe in him? NO. is he on the list? damn right

http://levelhead.org/objects/images/buddy.christ.sm.jpg

the daily mail

what a read!!! every day its filled with so much anti-news that it can't fail to make you want to look. its like "hang on a second life's not like this is it"?

2 reasons why - firstly, cos of the front cover of abul hamza, waving one of his claws, and looking proper angry, followed by, on page 2, a small article on the BNP winning 6 seats in local elections. now i'm no scientist, but isn't it a bit cuntish to stir up racial hatred on one page, and then moan about its effects on the next page?

secondly, princess diana. she's dead. get the fuck over it. she wasn't even that nice. she did the odd helpful thing, inbetween spreading her legs for anyone that wanted a go. more of a whore than a humanitarian.

the daily mail. quality news providing read? NO. on the list? Fuck Yeah!!!

also the one and only thing that sucks about the Mighty Boosh is that they're mates with Razorlight.

Today I got told I look like Preston from big bother and that dude out the boosh. I don't even know what preston looks like but i hate him already. i can't bring myself to hate noel fielding as he made me laugh a lot when i saw them live.

http://www.he-man.org/cartoon/cmotu-pop/universe/king-randor.jpg

passion of the christ is a slapstick laugh-a-minute romp.

and thank you allah frog for your words of satisfaction. i was well worried that this might be going too far. should have realised that there is nothing that is too far anymore!

and as for the book, well i've read it cover to cover. i'd have to go with tev, its a bit far-fetched, and not at all convincing. the mind boggles as to how so many people take it in. i question their eyesight and mental health.

there'll be more to this list, as soon as my memory allows it.

this fucking cunt just won't shut up and die. which is a shame really. since he is one complete and utter twat.

for years now he has inflicted various generations with his smug ugly face. his music is the lowest of the low, so bad that for his last hit he had to resort using a prayer for lyrics! would anyone else have got away with this? of course not, only this supposedly rightous cunt.

but what makes him so nice and godly? cos he aint married, doesn't have kids. and has anyone noticed how he's more than a little camp? i put it to you dearest workshy that this cunt is a proper GAY. now of course there's nothing wrong with being gay (unless your graham norton - you can fuck off as well). but there's everything wrong with being gay if you're supposed to be nice, christian, loved by the middle class, and especially have a fan base made up of people who still think gay means happy.

when he speaks, it makes me feel sick. when he sings, i am sick. he is a posterboy for everything that is old and wrong with this nation. my grandma might love him, but i don't care. he's on the list.

Also, can you consider adding Guy Ritchie to the list. Makes one and a half good films=loves himself - marries Madonna=loves himself more - makes shit films=still loves himself

And I'm glad to see HRH Diana Princess of Wails on the list. She had hinges for hips and I'm bitter and angry that I wasnt rich enough for a go. (And she's dead Express and Mail readers)

Mr Bad

Diana offends me for being a rich little poor girl who never did anything wrong - Guy Ritchie is a twat who thinks hes greater than everyone else and there is just something wrong with Cliff Richard - even if he isnt pushing corn someone that nice is just...... wrong

I'm pissed. This is outrageous. Those journalists have to be leftwing and suffering from unbelievable levels of white guilt to applaud this man and laugh at his remarks like he's some kind of humanitarian.