Got any good recipes/cooking rules?

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Whack 'em on.

― Teven, Monday, 10 April 2006 10:28 (nineteen years ago)

the best rule i ever learnt was to throw the egg in the bin, rather than in the food. that way i'm not sick!

― clocko diko (honesttoafault), Monday, 10 April 2006 10:35 (nineteen years ago)

when frying eggs, if you dont want to turn them but want them cooked through, place a pan lid or a plate onto the frying pan, this traps the heat in and cooks the eggs from the top as well as bottom, so no more snot/sex fluid consistency fried eggs. Get me.

― satan, Monday, 10 April 2006 10:40 (nineteen years ago)

Good tip Clayton. Did one of your eggos tell you that?

― Tev, Monday, 10 April 2006 11:00 (nineteen years ago)

yep

― satan, Monday, 10 April 2006 11:06 (nineteen years ago)

When baking potatoes put an metal spoon in the middle to make them cook faster and more evenly.
Not recommended in microwave oven, though would be interested to hear the outcome if anyone did fancy trying it...

― ginweasel, Monday, 10 April 2006 11:14 (nineteen years ago)

Sausage on a stick

― Captain Smash (Captain Smash), Monday, 10 April 2006 11:18 (nineteen years ago)

Go Litzel Burger, let them do it...

Sates...actually that egg flex, STEAMS them from the top...how do you know anyway?...I thought you had an aga...didn't know you could cook eggs on one, only dundee cakes that sorta thing...I have learn today!

Honky

― Dixie, Monday, 10 April 2006 12:51 (nineteen years ago)

I am the all knowing devil, course I know that trick, I can also cook anything on mein Aga, cos I control the temperature using the fires of hell.

― sates, Monday, 10 April 2006 13:00 (nineteen years ago)

When making an omelette, cook it till the bottom sets, add the filling then whack it under the grill, also a good tip to avoid eating that egg bogey stuff.

― blizzard, Monday, 10 April 2006 13:26 (nineteen years ago)

wack a load of mayo on your pizza, cos it's teds as clock!

― satan, Monday, 10 April 2006 13:35 (nineteen years ago)

here's another classic, fed up with peeling potatoes? got ice?
Well get a sharp knife, cut a line around the width of the potato to pierce the skin. Get a bowl/pan of water wack the ice in it. Put the potatoes in the icey water and leave for a while. This causes the potatoes to swell slightly, now take a potato out. Grab both ends and pull gently, the skin should just slide off in two pieces.
Or stop being lazy and peel dem ting.

― sates, Monday, 10 April 2006 13:40 (nineteen years ago)

best way to poach eggs is first boil some water in a frying pan and then when it's really really hot turn it right down. crack an egg into a cup and then slowly pour it in to the simmering water.

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 10 April 2006 14:59 (nineteen years ago)

I think egg poaching is a personal thing, I go for the vortex method every time as it's just what works for me. An b3ta person with too much time on his hands done this: http://www.b3ta.com/features/howtopoachanegg/
The cling film method is brill - works every time - but feels wrong in terms of wastefulness and land fill and stuff.
Poached eggs are beautiful items, nowt better to be done with chicken menses.

― ginweasel, Monday, 10 April 2006 15:17 (nineteen years ago)

wow, that's a pretty awesome and useful site ginweasel!

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 11 April 2006 07:36 (nineteen years ago)

I take it all back, the best thing to do with chicken menses is mix them with flour and make pasta. Top pasta making tips: stretch the dough as you put it through the machine to prevent bunching also always use 100 times as much flour as you think you need. Never mind that it makes the house look like the North pole, flour is great for your lungs. Also sing to it in italian. Failing that Bossa Nova or even a bit of Trouser jazz seems to work just as well.

― ginweasel, Tuesday, 11 April 2006 08:07 (nineteen years ago)

or buy it in a shop.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 11 April 2006 08:30 (nineteen years ago)

bof
so much less fun

― ginweasel, Tuesday, 11 April 2006 08:32 (nineteen years ago)

oh i dunno. i kinda like the "bip" noise that happens when they scan it through.

"bip"

...i could listen to it all day...

"bip"

"bip"....

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 11 April 2006 08:39 (nineteen years ago)

Similarly to your method Latin, I like to leave the eggs for a couple of minutes in a cup of very hot but NOT boilig water..this, as any established chef would know, would cause the eggs to crack under the pressure and the stress (and we thought eggs had easy lives, think again!)

Once the water, that has had a few shakes of vinegar added to it, is boiling, crack in the eggs and leave to settle into their egg positions...with the aid of a teaspoon, you can now begin to 'milk' the yolks* which involves pouring small amounts of the wate ront o the yolk, to cloud their appearance and help to seal them in...

I like to remove with the aid of a fish slice onto a piece of kitchen roll before adding to plate with some doorstep buttered toast..this prevents 'toast-sog' which is oh so common in many places...I've heard rumour that this is why Mrs. Miller's closed down...

* DISCLAIMER: This action should not be confused with 'milking the prostate' which is csomething different, though can be as much fun...more about that next week...

Enjoy, Girls!

Honky

― Dixie, Tuesday, 11 April 2006 09:55 (nineteen years ago)

good carrot cake recipe, measurements quite confusing tho
http://www.myhouseandgarden.com/recipes/Carrot_Cake.htm

― artechoke (What now?), Wednesday, 12 April 2006 12:42 (nineteen years ago)

three weeks pass...

I really want it to work right and print

― Aleeah Shanel Ray, Thursday, 4 May 2006 19:01 (nineteen years ago)

so does every canon printer, but oh no.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 4 May 2006 23:29 (nineteen years ago)

Eat Eat Eat

― Captain Smash (Captain Smash), Friday, 5 May 2006 07:09 (nineteen years ago)

Read the instructions before attempting to operate the electric steamer.

― ginweasel, Friday, 5 May 2006 07:56 (nineteen years ago)

More pasta making tips:

Use 6 eggs and a further 6 egg yolks to about 1lb5oz flour and a teaspoon of salt, for really cholesteroltastic egg pasta. Always use tipo "00", extra fine milled, flour. In tomato based sauces add a shot or two of vodka near the end of cooking time (trust me on this). And to give a vegetarian sauce better texture, simmer it for ages, bring to the boil, let it cool almost completely, and then bring it back up to a simmer.

Also play my grandad's CD in the kitchen and sing along to "You're awful, awfully nice to be with..." la la la

― Capt Cardinali, Friday, 5 May 2006 09:39 (nineteen years ago)

You're boring, boring into my heartttttt......

― ginweasel, Friday, 5 May 2006 09:43 (nineteen years ago)

Take lots of double cream, lots of muscovado sugar and heat them together on a low heat (in a saucepan). remove from heat and add lots of cocoa, green and blacks is best, then pour into shot glasses and chill in fridge for about an hour. Remove 20mins before serving then eat with spoon and shortbread. Die of richness overload or just feel really ill if you have erroneously thought you can handle 3.

― ginweasel, Monday, 15 May 2006 11:27 (nineteen years ago)

YUP

― Captain Smash (Captain Smash), Monday, 15 May 2006 13:03 (nineteen years ago)

Shit man I can't beleive I forgot to put/whack this on!

FUCKING TEDRI BAEGEL:

Get a onion/plain baegel(weird-O)

toast that thang,

butter that fool,

spread some Marmite on that twat(1 or more year old Marmite is the best)

Junk in half a bag of fresh baby-leaf spinich,

Lobb on some SHAVED "Italian style hard cheese"

Whack the telly on and chomp that cunt!

― Cooking Tev, Thursday, 18 May 2006 12:35 (nineteen years ago)

yummy! i've been sorta discovering bagels since i had one at katy (bean)'s house the other day.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 18 May 2006 12:45 (nineteen years ago)

Weird-Os rock!

― Teev, Thursday, 18 May 2006 12:49 (nineteen years ago)

another FUCKING TEDZ WEIRD-O is pastrami dill pickles and colslaw with a bit of schwarz pfeffer.

FUCK YOU! gobble gobble....

― cooking Tev, Thursday, 18 May 2006 12:51 (nineteen years ago)

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