thread of lobster moral support

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i have dilemma too, although i haven't had much lobster in my life.

one time i woke up at a friend's house really hungover and watched a documentary about lobsters. did you know they can live to be over 100 yrs old? i'm not trying to be all captain save-a-lobster, i'd still eat a big ol' lobster, but they can have pretty interesting lobster lives.

meat of beef (Jordan), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 14:50 (fifteen years ago) link

its amazing how good they taste

ice cr?m, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 15:09 (fifteen years ago) link

do they taste good without a ton of butter?

meat of beef (Jordan), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 15:11 (fifteen years ago) link

yes some in fact claim butter obscures the more delicate registers and take the meat straight

ice cr?m, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 15:17 (fifteen years ago) link

crab >>>>> lobster

WmC, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 15:17 (fifteen years ago) link

basically a meaningless assertion considering the myriad species of said creatures

ice cr?m, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 15:20 (fifteen years ago) link

i dont particularly like shellfish

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 15:20 (fifteen years ago) link

they give me weird dreams

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 15:20 (fifteen years ago) link

i love crawfish. lobsters are basically giant crawfish, right?

meat of beef (Jordan), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 15:32 (fifteen years ago) link

yes

ice cr?m, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 15:33 (fifteen years ago) link

Still trying to figure if the lobster is supposed to chew the gum or Ally is.

plenty chong (libcrypt), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 15:35 (fifteen years ago) link

ok joe i will make you a lobster -- but only if you come over and help me fight it after i take off its rubber bands. anyone who eats of this lobster party must witness its death i feel like.

he sounded italian enough to give me something (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 15:55 (fifteen years ago) link

j/k -- maybe i will have a lobster dinner party tho. i imagine after i throw the 5th, 6th one into the pot i'll be immune to all this.

he sounded italian enough to give me something (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 15:56 (fifteen years ago) link

this is going to be just like The Running Man

Dane Cook's Illustrated (I DIED), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 15:57 (fifteen years ago) link

get someone else to do it.

Whiney G. Weingarten, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 15:57 (fifteen years ago) link

lets all go on a lobster tour of maine instead

ice cr?m, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 16:04 (fifteen years ago) link

great idea, i have some family up near bar harbor we can stay with

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 16:05 (fifteen years ago) link

everytime I see a lobster with that one big claw and I want to shake his hand

bela fregosi (brownie), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 16:08 (fifteen years ago) link

lobsters are shit-eating bullies and deserve whatever is coming to them

laying | (goole), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 16:11 (fifteen years ago) link

here is me as a youth in maine w/my friend a lobster

http://i33.tinypic.com/13z6d61.jpg

ice cr?m, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 16:16 (fifteen years ago) link

your friend, a lobster==you eat your friends?

Mr. Que, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 16:17 (fifteen years ago) link

oops!

ice cr?m, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 16:18 (fifteen years ago) link

we could also just all go to jolie on atlantic on sunday night -- their billboard says LOBSTERS, LOBSTERS, LOBSTERS!

he sounded italian enough to give me something (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 17:13 (fifteen years ago) link

it just seems quicker than maine

he sounded italian enough to give me something (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 17:14 (fifteen years ago) link

atlanic avenue is quite lovely but imo lacks the dramatic beauty of the main coastline - having said that im totally into going to lobster special nites - that place ulysses in lower manhattan used to have 2 for 1 on mondays

ice cr?m, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 17:27 (fifteen years ago) link

The thing about pet lobsters is that you can't throw together a lobster habitat that's suitable before they expire of suffocation anyway. So basically the appeal is extremely limited and you still end up with dead lobsters. Letting them chase the cats is the best part, but like all good things, it must come to a natural end -- and that end involves a pot of boiling water.

How can there be male ladybugs? (Laurel), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 17:33 (fifteen years ago) link

I thought the violet gum was ENBB's way of calling Ally a shrinking violet and I was going to say: out of character but slightly brilliant!

How can there be male ladybugs? (Laurel), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 17:34 (fifteen years ago) link

The gf once got a present of mussels and chowder and two live lobsters from Legal Seafood in Boston sent overnight in a cooler. I was suurprised at how squeamish I felt about boiling them alive but considering the fact that they otherwise would have died, I managed to cook them. I did, however, let them chill in the freezer for a while prior to cooking them as that is said to numb them, though I have no idea if that's true or just an old wive's tale to assuage the neophyte's conscience. The lobsters were delicious and both of my cats went nuts begging for scraps.

It is not enough to love mankind – you must be able to stand (Michael White), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 17:42 (fifteen years ago) link

lobsters dont feel pain
ask kurt cobain

ice cr?m, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 17:46 (fifteen years ago) link

well i have heard that too -- that lobsters do not feel the pain really anyway, their nerve systems are not the same as a mammals'. also i am already aware that lobsters don't scream but rather any noise is steam escaping from their shells. i wasn't aware that they'd just die on their own if i kept them as pets tho!

he sounded italian enough to give me something (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 18:03 (fifteen years ago) link

All lobster discussions, especially those surrounding the ethics of boiling mudbugs, should start with the excellent and heavily annotated David Foster Wallace Gourmet article at
http://www.gourmet.com/magazine/2000s/2004/08/consider_the_lobster

Ten pages of this stuff:
Consider the Lobster
Originally Published August 2004

The enormous, pungent, and extremely well marketed Maine Lobster Festival is held every late July in the state’s midcoast region, meaning the western side of Penobscot Bay, the nerve stem of Maine’s lobster industry. What’s called the midcoast runs from Owl’s Head and Thomaston in the south to Belfast in the north. (Actually, it might extend all the way up to Bucksport, but we were never able to get farther north than Belfast on Route 1, whose summer traffic is, as you can imagine, unimaginable.) The region’s two main communities are Camden, with its very old money and yachty harbor and five-star restaurants and phenomenal B&Bs, and Rockland, a serious old fishing town that hosts the Festival every summer in historic Harbor Park, right along the water.

Tourism and lobster are the midcoast region’s two main industries, and they’re both warm-weather enterprises, and the Maine Lobster Festival represents less an intersection of the industries than a deliberate collision, joyful and lucrative and loud. The assigned subject of this article is the 56th Annual MLF, July 30 to August 3, 2003, whose official theme was “Lighthouses, Laughter, and Lobster.” Total paid attendance was over 80,000, due partly to a national CNN spot in June during which a Senior Editor of a certain other epicurean magazine hailed the MLF as one of the best food-themed festivals in the world. 2003 Festival highlights: concerts by Lee Ann Womack and Orleans, annual Maine Sea Goddess beauty pageant, Saturday’s big parade, Sunday’s William G. Atwood Memorial Crate Race, annual Amateur Cooking Competition, carnival rides and midway attractions and food booths, and the MLF’s Main Eating Tent, where something over 25,000 pounds of fresh-caught Maine lobster is consumed after preparation in the World’s Largest Lobster Cooker near the grounds’ north entrance. Also available are lobster rolls, lobster turnovers, lobster sauté, Down East lobster salad, lobster bisque, lobster ravioli, and deep-fried lobster dumplings. Lobster Thermidor is obtainable at a sit-down restaurant called The Black Pearl on Harbor Park’s northwest wharf. A large all-pine booth sponsored by the Maine Lobster Promotion Council has free pamphlets with recipes, eating tips, and Lobster Fun Facts. The winner of Friday’s Amateur Cooking Competition prepares Saffron Lobster Ramekins, the recipe for which is available for public downloading at www.mainelobsterfestival.com. There are lobster T-shirts and lobster bobblehead dolls and inflatable lobster pool toys and clamp-on lobster hats with big scarlet claws that wobble on springs. Your assigned correspondent saw it all, accompanied by one girlfriend and both his own parents—one of which parents was actually born and raised in Maine, albeit in the extreme northern inland part, which is potato country and a world away from the touristic midcoast.

For practical purposes, everyone knows what a lobster is. As usual, though, there’s much more to know than most of us care about—it’s all a matter of what your interests are. Taxonomically speaking, a lobster is a marine crustacean of the family Homaridae, characterized by five pairs of jointed legs, the first pair terminating in large pincerish claws used for subduing prey. Like many other species of benthic carnivore, lobsters are both hunters and scavengers. They have stalked eyes, gills on their legs, and antennae. There are dozens of different kinds worldwide, of which the relevant species here is the Maine lobster, Homarus americanus. The name “lobster” comes from the Old English loppestre, which is thought to be a corrupt form of the Latin word for locust combined with the Old English loppe, which meant spider.

Moreover, a crustacean is an aquatic arthropod of the class Crustacea, which comprises crabs, shrimp, barnacles, lobsters, and freshwater crayfish. All this is right there in the encyclopedia. And an arthropod is an invertebrate member of the phylum Arthropoda, which phylum covers insects, spiders, crustaceans, and centipedes/millipedes, all of whose main commonality, besides the absence of a centralized brain-spine assembly, is a chitinous exoskeleton composed of segments, to which appendages are articulated in pairs.

The point is that lobsters are basically giant sea-insects. Like most arthropods, they date from the Jurassic period, biologically so much older than mammalia that they might as well be from another planet. And they are—particularly in their natural brown-green state, brandishing their claws like weapons and with thick antennae awhip—not nice to look at. And it’s true that they are garbagemen of the sea, eaters of dead stuff, although they’ll also eat some live shellfish, certain kinds of injured fish, and sometimes each other.

WOOKIE JOHNSON (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 18:04 (fifteen years ago) link

PLUNGE THE TIP OF A SHARP KNIFE STRAIGHT DOWN RIGHT BEHIND THE LOBSTER'S EYES

This; I think this is the best advice possible, even if some people have biological second-guesses about it. Straight down and then forward between the eyes to the front, bisecting the head. If the goal is to minimize unpleasantness for the lobster, this seems like the best shot.

If that's the goal, I would also skip the freezer part. How does the freezing help the lobster? Personally I would much rather face the guillotine than spend the night in a meat locker that freezes me senseless before facing the guillotine; I don't know how the freezing is that much of a perk.

(My favorite detail from -- I think -- that Wallace article: up until not long ago, lobster was considered in New England to be disgustingly common ocean-bug food, to the point where a law had to be passed stating that it was inhumane to serve the inmates of asylums lobster meat more than three times per week.)

nabisco, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 18:21 (fifteen years ago) link

ok wait, I should not recount factual things from memory, because my brain will supply the wrong details:

Up until sometime in the 1800s, though, lobster was literally low-class food, eaten only by the poor and institutionalized. Even in the harsh penal environment of early America, some colonies had laws against feeding lobsters to inmates more than once a week because it was thought to be cruel and unusual, like making people eat rats.

so asylums = prisons and three = one

nabisco, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 18:28 (fifteen years ago) link

i always think abt that low class food factoid like daaaamn

ice cr?m, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 18:32 (fifteen years ago) link

btw this is common knowledge in new england and we dont need yr fancy dfw

ice cr?m, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 18:33 (fifteen years ago) link

deep-fried lobster dumplings

WS

Mr. Que, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 18:33 (fifteen years ago) link

oh right, the objection to the knife-head method is that the lobster's nervous system is dispersed and bundled, so you may only effectively be knocking out the main frontal bit, not the ability to feel pain elsewhere

still seems better, though, somehow, than freezing the lobster, poking holes in its shell with a fork, and then putting it in a microwave that boils it from the inside

nabisco, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 18:43 (fifteen years ago) link

i think my wife researched it last year when we had lobster and the knife-head method is considered the best for minimum lobster unpleasantness

Mr. Que, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 18:45 (fifteen years ago) link

Does the wound ooze or squirt when the knife goes in? Serious question.

WmC, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 18:46 (fifteen years ago) link

i don't think it does if you get em right between the eyes

Mr. Que, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 18:47 (fifteen years ago) link

oh god what the hell

he sounded italian enough to give me something (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 18:48 (fifteen years ago) link

Ha, I just saw Lydia Bastianich do it a few days ago -- there was a mild briny gush, is all, like what you'd find inside shelled seafood

nabisco, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 18:49 (fifteen years ago) link

ally should liveblog imo

Leif ericsonned (k3vin k.), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 18:49 (fifteen years ago) link

i will take a video!

he sounded italian enough to give me something (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 18:56 (fifteen years ago) link

incidentally the "feed it to crazies and prisoners in the 18th 19th century" line overlooks the fact that canning/preservation wasn't so hot back then and this was hardly boil-em-up-n-eat-em red lobster shizz.
Try and imagine how nasty month old salt cured lobster tail would taste.

WOOKIE JOHNSON (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 18:59 (fifteen years ago) link

or more likely YEARS old lobster tail

WOOKIE JOHNSON (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 18:59 (fifteen years ago) link

that is actually pretty much the next paragraph of the thing

nabisco, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:01 (fifteen years ago) link

the main problem would seem to be ... we normally eat mammals, and, being mammals, we can be pretty sure of the most humane methods of mammal-killing; we have no such idea with lobsters, which is odd and unsettling

nabisco, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:04 (fifteen years ago) link

Boiling is one of the simplest ways to cook a lobster, and is probably best for the squeamish that don't wish to cut up a live lobster with a knife. Some say that you can 'hypnotize' a lobster by rubbing the top of its head or its abdomen, thereby pacifying it before boiling. The theory is that the adrenaline produced by a frightened lobster adversely affects the texture and flavor of the meat. I have never seen or tasted any evidence of this, but if you want to cover all possible bases, go ahead and hypnotize your lobster. It is important to select a pot big enough to hold enough water to cover the lobsters completely. Bring the water to a rolling boil and add 1 tablespoon salt per quart of water. Put the lobsters in claws first and begin timing from the moment the water comes back to a boil.

he sounded italian enough to give me something (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:06 (fifteen years ago) link

you should give your lobster a swedish massage, put it in the freezer, take it out, cut its head open, and then microwave it

鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:09 (fifteen years ago) link

http://f.chtah.com/i/36/2068571857/newprod_hder_lobster.gif

it's like everything i see, every day, is taunting me to buy a lobster

joe francis does seafood now?

laying | (goole), Friday, 27 March 2009 20:25 (fifteen years ago) link

I found that story! It's just the thing if you want your lobster lust wilted, schef.

WmC, Friday, 27 March 2009 20:43 (fifteen years ago) link

great, now i want lobster too

Stop relegating Hull you miserable gits! (country matters), Friday, 27 March 2009 20:44 (fifteen years ago) link

i shall let someone else cook it tho

Stop relegating Hull you miserable gits! (country matters), Friday, 27 March 2009 20:44 (fifteen years ago) link

six months pass...

off to eat some in a bar, can't remember the last time I had it.

A Patch on Blazing Saddles (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 4 October 2009 17:31 (fifteen years ago) link

Scores or Hustler?

Take a ride on The Rape Tunnel (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 4 October 2009 23:43 (fifteen years ago) link

i have had lobster precisely once and was pretty unimpressed

crab is way better!

butt sound insanity (gbx), Sunday, 4 October 2009 23:50 (fifteen years ago) link

grilled lobster. nom. omg. want. now. gahhhh.

xpost to nutrition nazi thread we all probably love lobster bc of salt and fat (anything dipped in butter is good, right? don't answer that).

tehresa, Sunday, 4 October 2009 23:51 (fifteen years ago) link

i like lobster in soups and stews. when i was growing up, my mom belonged to a women's group that would have an annual lobster sale fundraiser. i think once one jumped/fell out of the pot of boiling water and crawled around a bit before my mom recaptured it.

somewhere a poll is missing its wacky write-in vote (sarahel), Sunday, 4 October 2009 23:59 (fifteen years ago) link

crab is way better!

― butt sound insanity (gbx), Sunday, October 4, 2009 6:50 PM (18 minutes ago)

+1

Alex Quebec (WmC), Monday, 5 October 2009 00:08 (fifteen years ago) link

there are bits around the leg joints that taste like crab

I used to mix the tomalley with horseradish and put it on crackers, before I read that tomalley is actually the lobster's liver and probably has loads of PCBs and chemicals.

power, corruption & plies (dyao), Monday, 5 October 2009 02:03 (fifteen years ago) link

soft shell crab ftw, fuck a tough and inedible shell getting in the way of my food.

this must be what FAIL is really like (ledge), Monday, 5 October 2009 09:20 (fifteen years ago) link

soft shell crab sandwich might be the best sandwich i've ever had

somewhere a poll is missing its wacky write-in vote (sarahel), Monday, 5 October 2009 09:39 (fifteen years ago) link

four years pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9EvHs3kLKA

乒乓, Wednesday, 16 October 2013 19:05 (eleven years ago) link

four years pass...

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