i will take a video!
― he sounded italian enough to give me something (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 18:56 (fifteen years ago) link
incidentally the "feed it to crazies and prisoners in the 18th 19th century" line overlooks the fact that canning/preservation wasn't so hot back then and this was hardly boil-em-up-n-eat-em red lobster shizz.Try and imagine how nasty month old salt cured lobster tail would taste.
― WOOKIE JOHNSON (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 18:59 (fifteen years ago) link
or more likely YEARS old lobster tail
that is actually pretty much the next paragraph of the thing
― nabisco, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:01 (fifteen years ago) link
the main problem would seem to be ... we normally eat mammals, and, being mammals, we can be pretty sure of the most humane methods of mammal-killing; we have no such idea with lobsters, which is odd and unsettling
― nabisco, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:04 (fifteen years ago) link
Boiling is one of the simplest ways to cook a lobster, and is probably best for the squeamish that don't wish to cut up a live lobster with a knife. Some say that you can 'hypnotize' a lobster by rubbing the top of its head or its abdomen, thereby pacifying it before boiling. The theory is that the adrenaline produced by a frightened lobster adversely affects the texture and flavor of the meat. I have never seen or tasted any evidence of this, but if you want to cover all possible bases, go ahead and hypnotize your lobster. It is important to select a pot big enough to hold enough water to cover the lobsters completely. Bring the water to a rolling boil and add 1 tablespoon salt per quart of water. Put the lobsters in claws first and begin timing from the moment the water comes back to a boil.
― he sounded italian enough to give me something (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:06 (fifteen years ago) link
you should give your lobster a swedish massage, put it in the freezer, take it out, cut its head open, and then microwave it
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:09 (fifteen years ago) link
They're delicious giant insects and that freaks people out i guess.
― WOOKIE JOHNSON (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:10 (fifteen years ago) link
just boil the damn thing
― Lamp, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:12 (fifteen years ago) link
well i don't have one yet
― he sounded italian enough to give me something (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:14 (fifteen years ago) link
if you did it would be dead by now
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:17 (fifteen years ago) link
maybe you could get a lobster and post on ILX until it dies, that seems humane
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:18 (fifteen years ago) link
lobsters live to be 100 years old according to some ppl on this thread tho
― he sounded italian enough to give me something (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:19 (fifteen years ago) link
not in yr apartment they don't
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:20 (fifteen years ago) link
there is an ilx poster who is a lobster: t or f?
― WOOKIE JOHNSON (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:20 (fifteen years ago) link
2009: dead pools out, lobsterwatch in
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:21 (fifteen years ago) link
I had a bio prof in college who once told a story about "friends" of his trying to keep a lobster alive in their dorm room back in his own college days. I think they filled an aquarium w tap water and then dumped lots of salt packets from the dining hall into it and stirred, then added lobster. The story ended with, "Today we're going to talk about why that lobster died."
― How can there be male ladybugs? (Laurel), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:22 (fifteen years ago) link
true i am lobster consider the facts and you will see it is obv so obv
― Lamp, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:22 (fifteen years ago) link
how long does it take before they die? a couple days?
― he sounded italian enough to give me something (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:22 (fifteen years ago) link
im going to live forever
― Lamp, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:23 (fifteen years ago) link
I don't know, actually. Do they have any capacity for breathing air? I would have assumed they could only breathe in water but stories of them running around kitchen floors appear to disprove that idea.
― How can there be male ladybugs? (Laurel), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:23 (fifteen years ago) link
haha she's srsly gonna do this
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:23 (fifteen years ago) link
consider the lobster
― Leif ericsonned (k3vin k.), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:23 (fifteen years ago) link
yeah this is what i was thinking -- they have to be ok to be out of water for quite a period considering it isn't like you bring them home from market in a little water baggie like a goldfish!
― he sounded italian enough to give me something (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:25 (fifteen years ago) link
xpost Proof 1: bound claws make use of shift key and punctuation difficult
― WOOKIE JOHNSON (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:26 (fifteen years ago) link
iirc they need to stay damp, if they dry out it's trouble for them
I might just be making that up tho
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:27 (fifteen years ago) link
i heard that ten seconds before they die, they shoot lazers out of their eyes--can't remember where i read that
― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:27 (fifteen years ago) link
The question of whether or not lobsters can experience pain is unresolved. Because of the ambiguous nature of suffering, most people who contend that lobsters do have this capacity approach the issue using 'argument by analogy' — that is, they hold that certain similarities between lobsters' and humans' biology or behavior warrant an assumption that lobsters can feel pain.[12]
In February 2005, a review of the literature by the Norwegian Scientific Committee for Food Safety tentatively concluded that "it is unlikely that [lobsters] can feel pain," though they note that "there is apparently a paucity of exact knowledge on sentience in crustaceans, and more research is needed." This conclusion is based on the lobster's simple nervous system. The report assumes that the violent reaction of lobsters to boiling water is a reflex to noxious stimuli.[13]
However, review by the Scottish animal rights group Advocate for Animals released in the same year reported that "scientific evidence ... strongly suggests that there is a potential for [lobsters] to experience pain and suffering," primarily because lobsters (and other decapod crustaceans) "have opioid receptors and respond to opioids (analgesics such as morphine) in a similar way to vertebrates," indicating that lobsters' reaction to injury changes when painkillers are applied. The similarities in lobsters' and vertebrates' stress systems and behavioral responses to noxious stimuli were given as additional evidence for their capacity for pain.[12]
A 2007 study at Queen's University, Belfast, suggested that crustaceans do feel pain. Acetic acid was placed on the antennae of 144 prawns; the animals responded by rubbing the affected areas. Professor Robert Elwood, who headed the study, argues that sensing pain is crucial to the survival of all animals, because it encourages them to avoid damaging behaviors. Some scientists responded, saying the rubbing may reflect an attempt to clean the affected area.[14]
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:28 (fifteen years ago) link
lol scientists
"that's not pain, it's a reflex to noxious stimuli"
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:29 (fifteen years ago) link
In February 2005, a review of the literature by the Norwegian Scientific Committee for Food Safety tentatively concluded that "it is unlikely that [lobsters] can feel pain," though they note that "there is apparently a paucity of exact knowledge on sentience in crustaceans, and more research is needed. Furthermore, lobsters be fukkin tasty nom nom nom."
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:32 (fifteen years ago) link
the pain i feel through not having lobsters in my belly is sure greater than anything these simple ass animals can experience
― ice cr?m, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:34 (fifteen years ago) link
^ knife right between the eyes of truth
― Dane Cook's Illustrated (I DIED), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:35 (fifteen years ago) link
when u think about it-- what is 'pain'
― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:35 (fifteen years ago) link
suggest noxious stimuli
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:37 (fifteen years ago) link
is there an ortolan thread on here anywhere?
― WOOKIE JOHNSON (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:37 (fifteen years ago) link
sorry for interrupting max
were you about to blow our minds?
I'm still amused by "mobster laurel" support but I can't think of a good direction to run with that.
― How can there be male ladybugs? (Laurel), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:37 (fifteen years ago) link
let's ask the king of pain what pain is
― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:38 (fifteen years ago) link
how many of us can esacpe the lobster's fate???? how many of us even want to????
ps i will pinch you with my claws, max and u will see 1st hand
― Lamp, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:39 (fifteen years ago) link
new CB handle?
xp to mobster laurel
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:40 (fifteen years ago) link
laurel: guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous
ilx: u can do it yr so pretty and capable we luv yr new dresss <3 <3 <3
― ice cr?m, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:41 (fifteen years ago) link
It's like you know me.
― guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:45 (fifteen years ago) link
WAIT WAIT
http://www.crustastun.com/
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:46 (fifteen years ago) link
i do not know about the dress i am wearing today, i think my boobs are inappropriate for the office, but thank u anyway bro.
ok i am going to do this thing! this weekend if i can get over to the market to get a lobster.
― he sounded italian enough to give me something (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:47 (fifteen years ago) link
before boiling, place your lobster on a flatbed scanner, to stun it
A blessing to the (s)chef <------ obvs MEANT FOR YOU
― guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:47 (fifteen years ago) link
social justice, crustastunner shades on
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:48 (fifteen years ago) link
benefits of the crustastun
* Fast, clean & efficient * Reduces stress & improves meat quality in terms of texture & flavour * Can be used by unskilled staff * Conforms to Standards of Humane killing & acceptable to the general public
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:49 (fifteen years ago) link
http://www.crustastun.com/img/single2.jpg
lol watch me scan my face guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhzzz
― ice cr?m, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:50 (fifteen years ago) link
this is a joke, right?
― icy cold crustastunnaz (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 19:52 (fifteen years ago) link