Fighting Baseball for Super Famicom: A League of Fake Americans POLL

'mike truk' the most ruggedly masculine imo

Karl Dandleton, millionaire playboy

batting fourth for the PIttstowner Champse, Scott Dourque !

Tony "smh" Erik

Todd Bonzalez has a beautiful simplicity but Bobson Dugnutt just cracks me up every time.

meanwhile, i vow that one day i will be published under the name Jeromy Gride

MA-ri-oh mac-RL-wain

this is like "The Name Game" gone wrong

i'm all in for Bobson Dugnutt

Scott Dourque

an even more difficult question is which one is the most convincing, "normal" name.

Dean Wesrey?
Kevin Nogilny?

i think it's dean wesrey. i haven't heard Wesrey before, but it wouldn't give me much pause. kevin nogilny would raise an eyebrow

Glenallen Mixon is totally a real person

i love that somehow they came up with one, exactly one, plausible name and it's glenallen mixon

i'm dying.

this is like the Troll 2 version of those Key & Peel college football sketches.

and now the moment we've all been waiting for, the unanimous winner of the Friends of Lompdort County Association "Best Friend of the Year" award is...

Mike Sernandez!!!

*cut to shot of a clearly disappointed Onson Sweemey clapping without much enthusiasm*

glenallen mixon just finished his 7th season playing college football

Don't miss the opening of YOUR Family SuperCenter in Pug Falls, Wisconsin this Tuesday, February 30! Skywriting! Special discounts on all Widding Factory Meat and Meat By-Product purchases! Todd Bonzalez will be signing Schpilling baseballs from 11:55 to 12:23! Free popcorn and soda for the kids!

Thirteen years in the pros took its toll on Darryl Archideld. He's known the blues. With his new release, _Pepper That Pill_, on the Gripsox label, Archideld shares the blues with those who've been closest to his heart... the fans. "I felt like it was time for me to show the world who the real Dapper Darryl is." Don't be surprised if you find a farmer of the heart in this Archi"dell"! (street date 6/23)

bedtime for bonzalez, a latin reboot of bedtime for bonzo, coming to theaters fall 2017

willie dustice: he fights for justice, mondays at 9, abc

"I want to be clear," said Mr Gride, "that these allegations are totally false. The good people of Dratter Flatts have welcomed me into their heart and and I take my responsibility to this community as seriously as I do playing shortstop for your beloved Flattworms. As this trial continues, I think it's going to be made abundantly clear that the only thing I'm guilty of, besides playing my heart out on the diamond, is being a good husband to my wife Grisdedelda and a loving father to all three of my legitimate sons: Bittles, Antwerp and Jeromy Junior. Respectfully, Miss Cantlizlip's demands for paternity testing are entirely out of order. And we're going to prove that." He then flashed the famous "Gride Grin" and reentered the courtroom.

lol

I keep seeing this picture everywhere but I feel like the real story is whatever the fuck "fighting baseball" entails

"Nice shoelaces TOMMY"
"Yeah NICE SHOELACES"
"Hey maybe you should judge your friend here by the content of his character and not by his fraying aglets."
"Wow, it's Mackentown Honkbat first baseman Mario McRlwain!"
"Gee Mr. McRlwain, we didn't mean anything by it."
"Maybe not son, but words can hurt. I should know. As a youngster growing up in Mackentown, I had to deal with bullying in ways that shake me to this day..."
***screen shimmers in flashback to show a cowering boy huddled in a dugout***
"THAT KID'S NAME'S GOT TOO MANY CONSONANTS!"
"HEY WHEEL OF FORTUNE!"
"WANNA BUY A VOWEL?"
"HEY WHEEL OF FORTUNE! WHEEL OF FORTUNE! WHEEL OF FORTUNE! WHEEL OF FORTUNE! WHEEL OF FORTUNE!"
***screen shimmers again to show McRlwain scolding the now chastened bullies***
"We... we didn't know."
"Well now you do. Now we ALL know. Take it from me, Mackentown midfielder Mario McRlwain: meanness matters!"
***logo displayed on screen: "MMMMMM - No bullying!"
"paid for by the Mackentown Council for Civil Playground Association.... the Mormons"

Is there really a whole league of these?

BOB-SON-DUG-NUTT
*CLAP*CLAP*CLAPCLAPCLAP*
(and then the same chant one step higher)
BOB-SON-DUG-NUTT
*CLAP*CLAP*CLAPCLAPCLAP*

dwigt! dwigt! dwigt! dwigt! dwigt! dwigt! dwigt! dwigt! dwigt! dwigt! dwigt! dwigt! dwigt! dwigt! dwigt! dwigt! dwigt! dwigt! dwigt! dwigt!

http://i.imgur.com/LdpRUey.png

Many players excluded from the majors because of uncorrectable birth certificate typos found a home in Fighting Baseball.

http://i.imgur.com/pzG0iUKm.png

I've never been shown furcotte.

She's the sleeper in this poll imho

bobson dugnutt for me

The SNES version is the first ever baseball video game to include the Atlanta Braves' distinctive Tomahawk Chop theme song, which is actually advertised on the back of the game box.

ahhh, the tomahawk chop. so...distinctive

Am i the first? We should definitely Spartacus this shit and confuse the fuck out of everyone not on ILG

I don't think it's fair that you got to be the bobson, though. Now every time you post I'm cracking up. You've got the power - use it for something good.

BON-ZA-LEZ! BON-ZA-LEZ!

there has been at least one MLB player named Glenallen or Mixon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wDrw76ieTs

glenallen hill did this; you can ignore the mixon

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

glenallen hill has a cameo in the mitchell report of all places

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

glad to see Sleve McDichael do well

best pronounced with a ridiculous french accent

No justice for Willie Dustice.

kind of want a custom dugnutt jersey

Dwigt Rortugal underperformed imo

I would probably pay top dollar to sample dry cured meats named after a lot of these guys

Can I come?

http://i.imgur.com/KSIukMA.jpg

loooool nice

I almost posted reds pitcher Rookie Davis to this thread but it wasn't quite right (Rooky Daves would be better)

Tookie Bavis

lol yes

so via this thread i learned the joys of these fake ballplayer names and introduced them to a programmer friend of mine who built a bot that tweets out procedurally generated dugnutts, please enjoy if you're interested: https://twitter.com/bobsonbot

this is rad af

Awesome. Looks like it hit for the cycle on August 4

lol at sherwood figgill

this is great

i wonder what would happen if you seeded it with current nhl player names (since some of the fighting baseball roster is a letter or two off from contemporaneous hockey players)

sincerely, Puukka Obuchkin

Belated applause for ulysses’ excellent universe building efforts on this thread

btw I died all over again reading through this. We really need to make the dugnutt jerseys happen

pic.twitter.com/9nKd6vY67Y

— Cory Byrom (@cdbyrom) April 11, 2018

can't believe Mike Truk didn't win this

i keep thinking about Karl Dandleton

this is the gift that keeps on giving

My wife plays Disney Emoji Blitz (I know), and it has a thing where if you don't have enough Facebook friends to fill out your leaderboard, the spaces get filled with "other random" players. They're very obviously just bot names rather than real users though. Right now she's in the lead, followed closely by Brisket Jimmothy! BRISKET JIMMOTHY!

(I already googled, zero results)

Jimmothy Cricket

this list of top tier lacrosse players names is destroying my life right now pic.twitter.com/MQE1BwJ6nY

— intrusive thot (@kittygaga_) May 16, 2019

You had me up until “IV Stucker, Sr.”

this followup tweet also worth looking at:

Don't forget the women. https://t.co/vkVlDhEMqe pic.twitter.com/JbaANResLP

— John M. Cunningham (@jmcunning) May 17, 2019

"Lizabanks Campagna"

Not one of the original names, but while I was scanning the synopsis of Cats my brain remembered “Grisdedelda” -> LOL

this site for whatever reason seems to automatically generate unlimited #s of names like this - put your area code & prefix in the URL

https://tel2na.me/920-973

tag yourself, I'm Charitee Dingfelder

Palakika Huckabone

Dody Gong

In retirement, Anatoli Smorin was forced to confront that most human of conundrums. Having succeeded, what now? Eight million dollars earned over a twenty year career as the fan-favorite second baseman for the Possum Grape, Arkansas Dimbiddlers had made him a rich man. But it had not made him happy.

"I try drugs, deep sea fishing, cosplay, death metal band. All of it, wasted. So much money and time." He errantly kicks the pile of sawdust on the ground, his eyes clouding over in remembrance. "Recording industry more corrupt than baseball even. So I leave Arkansas. It not easy; I had come to love Arkansas ways and they have been so welcoming to me and my family. But something had to change. So I move to your Vistconsin. I buy four thousand acres, virgin land. First virgin thing I ever have, no?" Smorin's booming laugh echoes from some far-off mountain.

"I get mobile home. I park in field. I start to explore my land. That is when this forest, it speak to me." Anatoli's grin widens, showing gaps between teeth in the back of his mouth. "Long green everywhere, spread out over how you say VALLEY. Untouched for centuries, waiting for real man to arrive and show woods discipline. You Americans have word for this man? You call him lumberchuck. I recognize this American spirit, I hear it in my bones." Anatoli hefts his axe from one burly, ginger-befurred shoulder and plants it nearly a third deep in a mute pine. "Was only baseball that stop me from potential. I was lumberchuck all along."

incredible

Indeed.

https://thedragonfriends.fandom.com/wiki/Fighting_Baseball.

Which links to the full list from the original game

pfft, no discussion whatsoever of their political leanings or judicial philosophies

We found additional pages of them! If you’d not seen them, you’re welcome!
I’ve wanted to get a Mets jersey with “Balloon” for a while now… pic.twitter.com/xzB4BVs5vO

— Shane Duggan (@SB_Duggan) July 15, 2021

we need a second poll. then a world series.

🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈

Fraven Pooth

someone get SCOTUSblog on this, asap

Orel Nulholland is amazing.

No fucking way did these animators sneak a Fighting Baseball reference in this. I’m shocked! https://t.co/rtd9Ngajbh pic.twitter.com/SSZ09nQFIC

— Raza Waqif (@razawaqif) October 31, 2022

lol, good catch

weirdly, the simpsons are pretty good this season

This is a directory for some children's rodeo in Utah and ,boy , these names are fucking AMAZING pic.twitter.com/WTFpacpl6p

— Blockhead (@BlockheadNYC) July 17, 2024

thesis: hayes
antithesis: haze
synthesis: hayze

hello, i am mccoy sweat from SO SUMMIT, UT
and i am cash sweat from SO SUMMIT, UT

JJ Stephens is feeling a little lonely on this team. he begins to wonder whether his name is also fucked up and he hasn't realized it yet

a tibbs lives down the street from me

JJ Stephens is feeling a little lonely on this team. he begins to wonder whether his name is also fucked up and he hasn't realized it yet

― z_tbd, Monday, September 2, 2024 1:55 PM

short for jhaze jhayes stephayze

this kids called raygun steele and im just over here holden my gammon smh

lol

I hope that number 1's entrance music is C+C Music Factory's "Gonna Make You McCoy Sweat".

Lawyers on behalf of Ick Pleury today sent cease and desist letters to Marvel Comics as well as Marvel Studios, for what he claims is "opportunistic capitalization on my family's name without a single cent being paid to us", based on similarities between a popular character's name and his own.

When pointed out this character was created in 1963, predating Ick's birth by 6 years, Ick responded "I'm actually Ick the 6th, but that didn't fit on my baseball card. I come from a long line of proud Icks, dating back to my great-great-great-grandfather Ick Pleury, who bravely fled New Caledonia in 1853 in defiance of French occupation."

When we asked him if perhaps it was just a coincidence, Ick grimaced, and said "You don't rip 175 homeruns without a keen eye. Their character wears an eyepatch after losing his eye in the war. Ick the 4th wore one after losing his eye in the the Battle of Zanzibar."

When asked why he waited so long to file a claim against the comic book giant, Ick smirked, and replied with a question of his own - "How does one lead the league in pitches seen per plate appearance? Patience. I needed time to make my case - and after 30 years of silence, I'm finally ready to speak for the Pleurys who can no longer defend themselves."

When asked for comment, a representative for Marvel tersely replied that they do not comment on pending litigation from people batting .173 with runners in scoring position.