Explain to me this whole "Kingdom Hearts" thing

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I vaguely remember some RPG coming out a couple years back with Disney characters cavorting around with Square characters and despite the fact that it sounds like a completely ridiculous idea apparently it became a widely beloved franchise. Now everyone's spazzing out about "OMG TRON LEVEL IN KINGDOM HEARTS" (note: Donald Duck all Tronned out is a phenomenal idea but I wouldn't buy a video game for that alone) and "Mickey looks BADASS" and maybe I just hate Disney too much but it all looks so goddamned twee. Am I missing something?

― disco violence (disco violence), Saturday, 19 November 2005 17:44 (twenty years ago)

(not that twee = automatically bad -- i.e. the Katamari games -- but KH looks twee in a most-conservative-aspects-of-American-and-Japanese-popcult-combined sense.)

― disco violence (disco violence), Saturday, 19 November 2005 17:46 (twenty years ago)

I rented Kingdom Hearts and found it to be impossibly boring.

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Saturday, 19 November 2005 17:52 (twenty years ago)

I liked Kingdom Hearts.

But then again, I liked Disneyworld.

The first one had a Nightmare Before Christmas level, even. The game totally should have been on gamecube.

― kingfish hobo juckie (kingfish 2.0), Saturday, 19 November 2005 18:09 (twenty years ago)

That's completely OTM.

Also, if you don't like twee, you're not going to like this. What the fuck did you expect?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Saturday, 19 November 2005 19:08 (twenty years ago)

Kingdom Hearts was awful. Plodding and dull with crappy controls. I can't imagine the new one will be any better.

― adam (adam), Saturday, 19 November 2005 19:12 (twenty years ago)

Tho the gummi spacecraft thing was a weird WTF bit between level-loading...

― kingfish hobo juckie (kingfish 2.0), Saturday, 19 November 2005 19:35 (twenty years ago)

Also, if you don't like twee, you're not going to like this. What the fuck did you expect?

I expect people not to bitch me out if I say I prefer, I dunno, Fallout 2.

― disco violence (disco violence), Saturday, 19 November 2005 23:30 (twenty years ago)

Also, if you don't like twee, you're not going to like this. What the fuck did you expect?

I'm all for twee, but the writing/gameplay for the game did absolutely nothing for me.

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Monday, 21 November 2005 08:02 (twenty years ago)

KH strikes me as being not so much twee as borderline Furry.

― THIS IS THE SOUND OF ALTERN 8 !!! (noodle vague), Monday, 21 November 2005 10:33 (twenty years ago)

I refuse to even try this game on principle. I mean, COME ON:

http://littleaeyaoki0.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/245745.jpg

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 21 November 2005 22:32 (twenty years ago)

Ugh. Tripod.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 21 November 2005 22:32 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...

HEY!
HOW DARE YOU.
I THINK U R ALL WRONG.
KINGDOM HEARTS IS GOOD.
EVERYTHIN ABOUT IT WAS GREAT. (TO ME)

BUT WAT ON EARTH IS "TRIPOD" IVE NEVER HERD OF IT SO THAT "TRIPOD"
THING MUST BE CRAP.

SO YEA
I LIKED KH

― **//** FaRmEr Fi **//**, Monday, 9 January 2006 22:19 (twenty years ago)

judymagic_9000, you are a TREAT

― Dan (ROFFLES) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 9 January 2006 22:30 (twenty years ago)

hahaha

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 9 January 2006 22:30 (twenty years ago)

hey waz that supposed to mean

i don even nowat u mean by callin me a "TREAT"

and someones laufin who is it

have u got harry potter and the goblet of fire

its shit

― **//**FaRmEr Fi**//**, Tuesday, 10 January 2006 02:51 (twenty years ago)

laufin -> http://www.gamansaman.is/profile.php?ID=1304

― kingfish pibb Xtra (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 10 January 2006 03:54 (twenty years ago)

hi! I'm Anohsir.i thing k.h is the best vidio game. but i hate everyones shoes in it they are shitty and ugly. i am related to FI and harry potter and the goblet of fire game is shit, the other ones are good.I hate that dumb girl with that skiping rope.Alice is not a princess but its so stupid she one of them traped at the end.Leon is looks gay with all those belts. i have more insults to say bu my hands hurt. BYE!

― ANOHSIR, Tuesday, 10 January 2006 05:39 (twenty years ago)

Did gamefaqs.com crash or something?

― disco violence (disco violence), Tuesday, 10 January 2006 05:57 (twenty years ago)

we can only hope

― kingfish pibb Xtra (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 10 January 2006 06:33 (twenty years ago)

Nah, it's all the same unfunny person.

― Laura H. (laurah), Tuesday, 10 January 2006 13:39 (twenty years ago)

Come on, Laura, the two posts from judymagic_9000 are funny!

― Dan ("its shit" Haha Awesome) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 10 January 2006 14:37 (twenty years ago)

eh.

― Laura H. (laurah), Tuesday, 10 January 2006 14:46 (twenty years ago)

i thought kingdom hearts was fun. it wasn't like "OMGWTF this game is teh roxxorz" or anything. but it was fun. looking forward to the 2nd one.

― Christopher Costello (CGC), Tuesday, 10 January 2006 22:56 (twenty years ago)

KH is ok. it's not bad per say, it's just not a lot of fun for me. i never got past more than one of the worlds.

― The Legend of Tony Balls (Adrian Langston), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 10:48 (twenty years ago)

It think it says a lot that I, a dude who has no objections to the ridiculously International Male fashion sense on display in Square and Enix classics right on up through Final Fantasy Tactics Advance (where you get to be this fuckin' doofus) had not the patience to even crack open KH after borrowing it from a coworker's younger brother to see what all the fuss was about. One look at the screenshots and I knew I didn't have the patience.

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:29 (twenty years ago)

Is he brandishing a translucent upright bass, there?

― Laura H. (laurah), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:33 (twenty years ago)

Yeah Tom, but isn't it just the case that for sufficiently low-rez games you don't have to pay attention to the concept art that much, EG if they made a full-polygon sequel which allowed you to see him wandering around looking like that, you'd decry that as well?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 19:35 (twenty years ago)

THAT'S A GUY?

― Dan (Japan Is Odd) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 19:44 (twenty years ago)

Seriously, it looks like someone said "I'VE GOT IT! Dakota Fanning's head + Calista Flockhart's torso and legs + Alizee's ass = TEH PERFECTO MALE PROTAGONIST OMG DANCE PARTY TIME"

― Dan (Cuffed Booty Shorts???) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 19:46 (twenty years ago)

Well yes but you still have to look at his poncey face every time there's dialogue. KH (Sora?) is more precocious and glassy-eyed than even that, though, which beggars the imagination.

xxpost to the low-rez issue.

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 11 January 2006 19:51 (twenty years ago)

Dan you really should take a look at the concept art for the characters/job classes in both FF Tactics games, they'll blow your mind. You know the character designs for Lynch's Dune? "better."

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 11 January 2006 19:55 (twenty years ago)

Who did the designs for FFTA?

...okay, IMDB has Nomura as designing both KH games, and Yoshida doing FFTA and FFXII.

Hang on, there was a Parasite Eve 2?! Did it ever make it over here?

― kingfish russian bigamist (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 20:07 (twenty years ago)

bare midriffs for all!