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1. The opening FMV sequence will be 17 minutes long and impossible to skip.

2. You also aren't able to skip any of the other FMV cutscenes in the game.

3. To increase the difficulty of the game, save points have been sparsely scattered throughout. You get a "continue" option instead of the ability to save frequently.

4. The advertisement

5. Game-related merchandise announced so far includes a limited-edition controller, a limited-edition PS2, and a limited edition drink.

6. The rabbit stripper bitch with the bow that Laura posted to start off the DUMBASS CHARACTER DESIGN thread? One of the main characters

7. I quote from Slashdot: "Having to train on the same monster endlessly has now become a feature

8. I am as yet unable to find anybody who has anything nice to say about the new combat system (either just describing sort of how it works or flat-out panning it)

I'm not up to 10 yet, help me out.

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 2 February 2006 22:58 (nineteen years ago)

http://images.gubbish.org/lionbutt.jpg

FUCK YOU

― Milhouse is not a meme. But 'Milhouse is not a meme' IS a meme. (Adrian Langston, Thursday, 2 February 2006 23:23 (nineteen years ago)

http://images.gubbish.org/harry.gif

(that was supposed to be this picture)

― Milhouse is not a meme. But 'Milhouse is not a meme' IS a meme. (Adrian Langston, Thursday, 2 February 2006 23:24 (nineteen years ago)

I really figured you'd be with me on this one.

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 2 February 2006 23:27 (nineteen years ago)

everything you list does sound atrocious, but (lmao butts) IT'S MADE BY THE FFT & VAGRANT STORY DUDES SO I CAN'T NOT BE A LITTLE STOKED ABOUT IT. this has basically become the last straw for me re: skweenix, my last crumb of hope that they can pull something awesome out their ass. also, there were elements of FFX and agh FFX-2 that I liked a lot so uh i dunno. i'm expecting it to be like the best Japanese RPGs i've played, in that it will dazzle and enrage me in equal measures and I will come away from it feeling bloated with disappointment.

― Milhouse is not a meme. But 'Milhouse is not a meme' IS a meme. (Adrian Langston, Thursday, 2 February 2006 23:29 (nineteen years ago)

so basically I am with you but I won't admit it until I've wasted 50 bucks a year from now.

― Milhouse is not a meme. But 'Milhouse is not a meme' IS a meme. (Adrian Langston, Thursday, 2 February 2006 23:29 (nineteen years ago)

Supposedly it's still on track to go gold sometime soon. Last I checked.

The cutscenes are the destroyer. I know the staff is all Tactics Ogre and FFT compliant and it looks pretty good, the gameplay shots I've seen, but 17 minutes of cutscene to start off that I can't skip? That means it has to suck. That equals sucking horribly. I'm not saying this will be as bad as Xenosaga, just, you know, it would appear to be treading dangerously close to some of the same pitfalls.

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 2 February 2006 23:45 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, I can't really argue with that. I've always liked the cut scenes, but it's basically unconscionable in the year 2006 to have unskippable cinemas in your games. I almost think they're just doing it to be jerks at this point, which possibly makes them n01z3 or something.

― Milhouse is not a meme. But 'Milhouse is not a meme' IS a meme. (Adrian Langston, Friday, 3 February 2006 00:02 (nineteen years ago)

I fucking hate cutscenes. Hate them. And I hate the FF series for making people want them.

The FF12 demo that came with Dragon Quest 8 was laughable. My girlfriend, who actually enjoyed FF11 for a little while, even scoffed at it. Ugly, "quirky" battle system, wretched character design, stoopid monsters (much hyped independent monster AI = crap).

― adam (adam), Friday, 3 February 2006 00:35 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.fukusei.org/freya/fran1.jpg

― kingfish has gene rayburn's mic (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 February 2006 01:40 (nineteen years ago)

BRILLIANT character design!

― c(''c) (Leee), Friday, 3 February 2006 05:01 (nineteen years ago)

wtf is that thing? It's like a furry for furries in denial.

― PlayfulPuppy (playfulpuppy), Friday, 3 February 2006 06:02 (nineteen years ago)

You're supposed to fuck the ears.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Friday, 3 February 2006 06:30 (nineteen years ago)

it is kind of...stupid looking, i guess.

― Christopher Costello (CGC), Friday, 3 February 2006 07:05 (nineteen years ago)

TOMBOT did you play the demo that came with Dragonquest? My boyfriend played it and HATED it, for reasons 1,2,7, and 8. And he's a big FF fan.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 3 February 2006 16:28 (nineteen years ago)

I skipped on DQ8 for now and blew my trimonthly gaming allotment on DISGAEA instead.

― TOMBOT, Friday, 3 February 2006 16:38 (nineteen years ago)

i haven't got the patience to even bother with this after ffx2. maybe i'll borrow dq8 from someone instead.

― inert false cat (sleep), Friday, 3 February 2006 17:09 (nineteen years ago)

i want to play DQ8, but sold my ps2 to an ilxor long ago

― kingfish has gene rayburn's mic (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 February 2006 21:55 (nineteen years ago)

Is that tiger-buttface from the Ping-Pong Club?

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Saturday, 4 February 2006 00:05 (nineteen years ago)

I assumed it was the last boss

― Michael A Neuman (Ferg), Saturday, 4 February 2006 00:42 (nineteen years ago)

the thing that sucks the most about the demo that came with dq8 is the boss in one of the levels. i mean, it's just a dinosaur. nothing more than a red t. rex on a beach. lame.

― Christopher Costello (CGC), Saturday, 4 February 2006 04:19 (nineteen years ago)

If FFTA is any credible source, the bunny strippers are lesbians too, because there's no other way for an all-female species to make babies. Unless they split like cells.

Or that all-male race of rasta lizards fucks them and there's a 50/50 chance of a bunny or a lizard.

― Will M. (Will M.), Friday, 10 February 2006 12:00 (nineteen years ago)

I think the latter sounds more Japanesey. I mean if that's not in the documented Square-Enix Mythos then you know it's going to end up in the fucking doujinshi w/in 30 seconds of the game's release

― TOMBOT, Friday, 10 February 2006 16:02 (nineteen years ago)

Can we truly say that we as a people are better than a race of nothing but rasta lizards and bunny strippers?

Becuz i'm not ready to make that leap.

― kingfish has gene rayburn's mic (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 10 February 2006 16:41 (nineteen years ago)

Altho, as Tombot mentions, one of the bits about the doujinshi that's ever-reliant is that any character shown in any FF game, even for a scene, will be portrayed as either fucking or getting fucked by every other character in every FF game.

For example, who knew that Rikku's crewmates on that flying ship had such voracious sexual appetites?

― kingfish has gene rayburn's mic (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 10 February 2006 16:45 (nineteen years ago)

Heh. for a min, i couldn't remember whether this was a tombot thread or a dan thread.

― kingfish has gene rayburn's mic (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 10 February 2006 16:56 (nineteen years ago)

today's bit from Joystiq

The Final Fantasy XII Potion drink announced back in December has finally been unveiled to the public in Japan, and samplers are willing to allow that the clear blue beverage offers a "mysterious taste."

Shall we speculate on the "mysterious taste"? Is it think and proteiny? Is it the distilled sweat of bunny strippers? what could it be?

― kingfish has gene rayburn's mic (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 17:56 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.srut.org/index2_e.asp

― A BOLD QUAHOG (ex machina), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 22:12 (nineteen years ago)

The advertisement looks pretty great, actually! But it can't save my lost faith in FF (and console RPGs in general). It'll only be good when they go back to 2D sprite animation.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 22 February 2006 23:41 (nineteen years ago)

Jeez, I'm at a loss now trying to figure out what I admired about bunnystripper.

― c(''c) (Leee), Thursday, 23 February 2006 02:06 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.goodeatsfanpage.com/images/KitchenEquipment/Grater.jpg

― Dan ("Bunny Stripper") Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 23 February 2006 04:32 (nineteen years ago)

Bad Dan.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 27 February 2006 22:30 (nineteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

Bunny stripper on wheels

and not

Rico, Suave.

the next step in LIVESTRONG bracelets

WTF

DAN THIS WILL HAUNT YOUR DREAMS FOREVERMORE

― kingfish da notorious teletabby (kingfish 2.0), Saturday, 18 March 2006 08:00 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.jeux-france.com/news14727_final-fantasy-xii-plus-d-images.html

― kingfish da notorious teletabby (kingfish 2.0), Saturday, 18 March 2006 08:04 (nineteen years ago)

MOOGLES.

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Sunday, 19 March 2006 08:35 (nineteen years ago)

I love the fact they had to give the bunny stripper a helmet, because it's just too horrible to think about how those ears join her head.

― melton mowbray's APOCALYPTO! (adr), Sunday, 19 March 2006 09:46 (nineteen years ago)

what the fuck is wrong with people? What kind of world is this! what the fuck

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Sunday, 19 March 2006 09:50 (nineteen years ago)

Jesus shit, I miss Yoshitaka Amano. Dude from Ogre Battle/FFT is doing the character designs now. Rico Suave up there is particularly doing my head in and I don't know why.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 19 March 2006 15:11 (nineteen years ago)

http://img.gamespot.com/gamespot/images/2005/135/459841_20050516_screen001.jpg

http://www.latenightgames.com/labynight/gallery/stalker/10things56.jpg

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 19 March 2006 15:13 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y825PgV1904

Jesus Christ. This has Phantom Menace written all over it.

More Sky Pirates, tho.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_KiLZM4Nv8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qf7k4NFdHcA

― kingfish da notorious teletabby (kingfish 2.0), Sunday, 19 March 2006 17:24 (nineteen years ago)

You'll all no doubt be pleased to know that there's an entire RACE of bunny strippers.

― kingfish da notorious teletabby (kingfish 2.0), Sunday, 19 March 2006 17:24 (nineteen years ago)

I thought Rico looked a bit like Pauley Shore.
Or maybe Ned.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Sunday, 19 March 2006 19:06 (nineteen years ago)

at least there aren't any characters that have toothbrush weapons

― R.I.P. Concrete Octopus ]-`: is a guy with a belly button piercing (ex machina), Sunday, 19 March 2006 20:05 (nineteen years ago)

ihttp://www.cavesofnarshe.com/fanart/ff4/edward/edward01.jpg

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 20 March 2006 00:03 (nineteen years ago)

Those purple things attacking the planet are midichlorians.

― c(''c) (Leee), Monday, 20 March 2006 00:32 (nineteen years ago)

AMANO SUX, SORRY NERDS

AFTER SEEING THIS PICTURE, NOTHING IN THE WORLD CAN CONVINCE ME THAT FFXII WILL BE ANYTHING LESS THAN A MASTERPIECE:

http://img.gamespot.com/gamespot/images/2005/135/459841_20050516_screen012.jpg

― Milhouse is not a meme. But 'Milhouse is not a meme' IS a meme. (Adrian Langston, Monday, 20 March 2006 11:15 (nineteen years ago)

YUB NUB

― kingfish da notorious teletabby (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 20 March 2006 14:52 (nineteen years ago)

http://images2.sina.com/cnnews/1142934430_gLMyPT.jpg
WHY HELLO DERE

― sleep (sleep), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 01:14 (nineteen years ago)

huh? quien es este?

― kingfish, Wednesday, 29 March 2006 02:23 (nineteen years ago)

she's doing the theme song apparently

― sleep (sleep), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 03:20 (nineteen years ago)

Skipping 236 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Sony markets their systems to stoners and magazine editors. They're selling to their stockholders more than the end user.

-- The GZeus, November 13th, 2006 4:36 PM. (The GZeus) (link)

haha i might offended by this if i knew what the hell this thread was talking abt!

― M@tt He1g3s0n: oh u mad cuz im stylin on u (Matt Helgeson), Friday, 26 January 2007 20:10 (eighteen years ago)

though at certain points of my life i've certainly been a member of both aforementioned groups. (not the former anymore though)

― M@tt He1g3s0n: oh u mad cuz im stylin on u (Matt Helgeson), Friday, 26 January 2007 20:24 (eighteen years ago)

Sorry, M@tt it's nothing directed at YOU. I'm just saying they made the specs really high so as to impress people in your profession.
Mush like if a bass manufacturer made some fancy schmancy bass with X features, Y electronics and Z special woods, fanned frets, 6+ strings...
Reviewers would drool and need new pants, but the bass would still cost 4k USD for the basic model, and it's not easy to write/play music for/on it...
I think that's way too convoluted, but I suck at truncating.

― Lukewarm Watery G. Tornado; Vampires Eat Christians (The GZeus), Friday, 26 January 2007 22:25 (eighteen years ago)

Matt, you're a stockholder? Can you buy me a beer?

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Friday, 26 January 2007 22:28 (eighteen years ago)

Can I play my Wiimote through a guitar amp?

― UART variations (ex machina), Friday, 26 January 2007 22:28 (eighteen years ago)

Matt, you're a stockholder? Can you buy me a beer?

-- Forksclovetofu (forksclovetof...), January 26th, 2007. (Forksclovetofu)

no, but i can send you the appropriate number of Wii points and you can download one from nintendo.

yep, ps3 is hard to develop for. but that's always been true of sony hardware.

― M@tt He1g3s0n: oh u mad cuz im stylin on u (Matt Helgeson), Friday, 26 January 2007 22:33 (eighteen years ago)

Conkers Jerks It! for the Wii, coming soon.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Friday, 26 January 2007 23:10 (eighteen years ago)

i'm shocked no one's freaking out over square enix licensing the unreal 3 engine for development! never thought i'd see the day....

― M@tt He1g3s0n: oh u mad cuz im stylin on u (Matt Helgeson), Friday, 26 January 2007 23:43 (eighteen years ago)

I sEE you stiLL have typing TOURETTES Gzeus :x

― Darramouss! (Darramouss), Saturday, 27 January 2007 00:09 (eighteen years ago)

HAHAHA SQUARE.

― Lukewarm Watery G. Tornado is Sick of Fucking His User Name (The GZeus), Saturday, 27 January 2007 03:44 (eighteen years ago)

How you been man you beat Chrono Trigger yet? I beat it years ago I can give you some tips if you like :)

― Darramouss! (Darramouss), Saturday, 27 January 2007 03:51 (eighteen years ago)

Why is GZeus still posting on ILG? I though he was banned! This thread is a good illustration of why!

― Kv_nol (Kv_nol), Saturday, 27 January 2007 18:08 (eighteen years ago)

It's months old and was revived to increase the prevalence of that sentiment.
In reality all it illustrates is that people here are willing to crucify someone for agreeing with them if the manner in which it's done it isn't to their liking.

― Lukewarm Watery G. Tornado is Sick of Fucking His User Name (The GZeus), Saturday, 27 January 2007 19:25 (eighteen years ago)

Oh, we tend to only ban him for a day or so until he cools down. it takes him a bit to get revved up again.

― kingfish moose tracks (kingfish 2.0), Saturday, 27 January 2007 21:19 (eighteen years ago)

I disagree. Also his martyr complex is real pain.

― Kv_nol (Kv_nol), Sunday, 28 January 2007 19:31 (eighteen years ago)

It's more of a persecution complex.
It would be less obvious if people would stop perscuting anyone who's serious.
I just don't use sarcasm, and consider my opinions for a long time before espressing them.
People here somehow see that as an attack. That's bizzare.

― Lukewarm Watery G. Tornado is Sick of Fucking His User Name (The GZeus), Sunday, 28 January 2007 19:35 (eighteen years ago)

John Updike wrote about Sexual Personae:

It feels less a survey than a curiously ornate harangue. Her percussive style -- one short declarative sentence after another -- eventually wearies the reader; her diction functions not so much to elicit the secrets of books as to hammer them into submission.... The weary reader longs for the mercy of a qualification, a doubt, a hesitation; there is little sense, in her uncompanionable prose, of exploration occuring before our eyes, of tentative motions of thought reflected in a complex syntax.

― Marmot (marmotwolof), Sunday, 28 January 2007 20:28 (eighteen years ago)

GZeus hasn't been bad on this thread since it was revived! I don't see what the problem is.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 28 January 2007 20:51 (eighteen years ago)

You mean he got through a whole post without capitalising one word?

― Darramouss! (Darramouss), Sunday, 28 January 2007 23:00 (eighteen years ago)

People dislike the WAY I talk.
I use sarcasm for it's intended purpose(sheathing an insult by speaking the opposite of what you mean) as opposed to being perpetually sardonic.
I speak literally and frankly(and yes, I can be crass).
Again, people take that as an attack, and then proceed to use sarcasm for its intended purpose(rare here) and then slowly ramp into full-on insults at me.
Somehow my comebacks, since they are stated literally, are worse, and then mods begin trolling me until THOSE comebacks induce them to banning me or to post this:
http://www.iengraverock.com/images/issues.jpg
in a yellow card.

Basically, the entire revival is an attempt to goad me into exploding.
This is funny.
Not aggravating.

Darr.
Do you want my cocaine, or something?
If so, you'll need to search the itnernet for 20 minutes and find another post of mine from 4 years ago and make THAT into an image and then upload it and post it here again.
And you still won't get my cocaine, because...I don't have any.

― Lukewarm Watery G. Tornado Still Rules at Doom (The GZeus), Sunday, 28 January 2007 23:05 (eighteen years ago)

both of you shut the fuck up or I'm bringing the ban hammer.
here, I'll use sarcasm the way you like it, right now.

― TOMBO7 (TOMBOT), Sunday, 28 January 2007 23:30 (eighteen years ago)

When will you?

― Lukewarm Watery G. Tornado Still Rules at Doom (The GZeus), Sunday, 28 January 2007 23:34 (eighteen years ago)

Don't know about you GZeus but this internet tough guy and his hammer certainly give me the willies.

― Darramouss! (Darramouss), Sunday, 28 January 2007 23:42 (eighteen years ago)

Do either of you have anything to say about VIDEO GAMES?

― TOMBO7 (TOMBOT), Sunday, 28 January 2007 23:45 (eighteen years ago)

I like video games they are fun. Oblivion's my fave single player game at the moment. The scope of what you can get up to is amazing. My fave Online game is 2142 Battlefield for similar reasons. :)

― Darramouss! (Darramouss), Sunday, 28 January 2007 23:48 (eighteen years ago)

sup tom

― webber (webber), Monday, 29 January 2007 00:02 (eighteen years ago)

i like thread title change.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Monday, 29 January 2007 01:03 (eighteen years ago)

which thread was this? it kinda looks like a lot of other ILG threads.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Monday, 29 January 2007 01:45 (eighteen years ago)

http://img.gamespot.com/gamespot/images/2005/135/459841_20050516_screen012.jpg

― webber (webber), Monday, 29 January 2007 01:54 (eighteen years ago)

http://videogamesheaven.net/movie-final-fantasy-xii.htm

all 40 cutscenes from the game!!!!!

― TOMBO7 (TOMBOT), Monday, 29 January 2007 02:04 (eighteen years ago)

So that'll be the whole game then.

― Darramouss! (Darramouss), Monday, 29 January 2007 02:37 (eighteen years ago)

FFXII has some huge dungeon crawls. Y'all don't even know.

― Marmot (marmotwolof), Monday, 29 January 2007 03:09 (eighteen years ago)

rogue galaxy is out this week so I never have to find out!

― TOMBO7 (TOMBOT), Monday, 29 January 2007 03:15 (eighteen years ago)

i gave tom mod powers for the entertainment factor.

― kingfish moose tracks (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 29 January 2007 05:06 (eighteen years ago)

kudos!!!!

― UART variations (ex machina), Monday, 29 January 2007 06:01 (eighteen years ago)

Oh dear :)

― Kv_nol (Kv_nol), Monday, 29 January 2007 09:08 (eighteen years ago)

It's Tom's turn to yellowcard Darramouss, amirite?

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 29 January 2007 09:23 (eighteen years ago)

Yawn

― Darramouss! (Darramouss), Monday, 29 January 2007 14:17 (eighteen years ago)

Dude, you're a meme! You should be pleased.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 29 January 2007 15:02 (eighteen years ago)

I would be if these illiterate yank fucktards would spell my name right.

― Darramouss! (Darramouss), Monday, 29 January 2007 15:14 (eighteen years ago)

I was all in favor of being completely hands-off until you said that! Oh well.

― TOMBO7 (TOMBOT), Monday, 29 January 2007 15:15 (eighteen years ago)

I actually don't have a problem with him.
I don't think he's a troll, I think he's schizo, or something.
It's amusing.
Not that I don't think he should get help if that IS the case. I have a friends who's schizo. He has cool ideas, but it's always better when he can tell what's a good idea and what should be made into a work of fiction.

I ANY CASE. If a really aweful baseball game comes out for the Wii I'll get one.
That's as video game related as I can get right now. I'm so damned physically sick right now...

― Lukewarm Watery G. Tornado Still Rules at Doom (The GZeus), Monday, 29 January 2007 16:29 (eighteen years ago)

Jeez, things got quiet here today

― kingfish moose tracks (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 29 January 2007 23:39 (eighteen years ago)

Good?

― Lukewarm Watery G. Tornado Still Rules at Doom (The GZeus), Tuesday, 30 January 2007 01:17 (eighteen years ago)

considering the alternative, sure

― kingfish moose tracks (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 30 January 2007 01:27 (eighteen years ago)

three months pass...

I can't remember. Did we ban both darramous AND Gzeus, or what?

also, where's laura been?

― kingfish, Monday, 14 May 2007 05:56 (eighteen years ago)

Both were banned (thank goodness in GZeus' case. Pyscho that he was etc etc, can't remember why darramous was banned!). Laura? I don't know.

― kv_nol, Monday, 14 May 2007 08:03 (eighteen years ago)

I don't think Darra was properly banned, he just chose not to come back. I didn't ban GZ either, but I yellowcarded them both. Maybe they hooked up? When will we get mod powerz back again, so the saga can continue?

― g-kit, Monday, 14 May 2007 08:25 (eighteen years ago)

right, this thread.

― forksclovetofu, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 03:26 (eighteen years ago)

ha, I win.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 05:09 (eighteen years ago)

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